The Relevance of Belief in Cancer Treatment

By Fernando Urioste

Relevance offers help and provides hope to people that are overwhelmed by an “I have cancer awakening.” Fernando Urioste story shows that the medical sciences and technology play a significant role in the healing process but do not exist in a vacuum. They are part of a multidimensional belief consciousness that emerges, coalescing to help the afflicted individual’s fight for his or her life. Having experienced this in the flesh, Fernando hopes that his tale helps demonstrate to others the positive spirit needed for the healing process to succeed when fighting cancer.

Relevance is not a technical book about cancer or a manual on cancer treatments available. Rather, it is a tale of the spiritual side on the difficult healing journey that an afflicted person undertakes when treating cancer, about the importance of the support provided by family and friends, about the belief that one’s future is not lost, faith in God’s Providence, and of most importance, one’s desire to live. All of this against the backdrop of the amazing medical science and technology administered by doctors, nurses, technicians and support staff of the institutions that provide cancer treatment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982222857

Fernando Urioste

Fernando Urioste studied psychology and was working on his Ph.D. dissertation when he started working for a construction company. He went from being a laborer sweeping floors to a project director responsible for billion-dollar construction projects. He retired in 2016 after thirty-eight years of service having specialized in airport construction for twenty years. He lives in Weston, Florida, with his wife, Cecilia.

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Copyright © 2019 Fernando Urioste.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission in writing from Fernando Urioste. except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-2284-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-2285-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019902299

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/16/2019

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Contents

Foreword by Robert Sardello, Ph.D.

1.   FU’s Story

•   Surviving Two Lymphomas and the Autologous Stem Cell Transplant Option

2.   Cancer to Have if You Ever Get One

•   Nodular Lymphocyte Predominant Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (Non-classical HL)

3.   FU’s Background

4.   You Have an Aggressive Lymphoma That Urgently Needs Treatment

•   Diffuse Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

5.   Erasing the Biological Memory of One’s Body

•   The Autologous Stem Cell Transplant Option

6.   FU on Belief

•   The Archetype of Magical Effect

7.   Bites from FU’s Cancer Treatment

For Cecilia, my precious guardian angel,

and for

Fernando Lucas, Alejandra, and Gabriel, our pride and joy.

My thanks to all the family, friends and medical personnel that accompanied Cecilia and me through the healing journey that has allowed me to remain among the living for a while longer. I want to acknowledge some of the readers who provided feedback on earlier versions of the manuscript I sent for comments. Tina, Steve, Linda, Chieh-Lin, Bishu, Stanley, John, Nelly and the rest of you, many thanks.

Robert, your foreword’s soulful insights about my tale are right on point. I appreciate your guidance and love.

Foreword

Welcome to one of the most important books about health and healing that you are likely to ever read! It may, at first, seem to be a book concerning illness, in particular an illness we are all afraid of, cancer. It is much more; it concerns the manner in which healing involves a multidimensional tapestry of self-compassion, heart courage, family, friends, doctors, employers, administrators, insurance assistance, deep memories, imagination, and receptive opening to future destiny. All these factors, together, make a community of depth, woven into an intimate belief-consciousness. Exactly what belief-consciousness consists of constitutes the material of this book. It is something far different than believing that one will get through difficult circumstances.

This book is not written by an observer, a reporter, or a commentator, but by the person undergoing the illness and the treatments. The precision and the intimacy of what is revealed is in itself deeply riveting and emotionally moving. The reader becomes filled with admiration and gratitude for what Fernando Urioste has taken on, really for the sake of others -- the giving of powerful images of true healing, which is something much more than medicine removing cancer. Medicine does not exist in a vacuum; it is part of the fabric of an unacknowledged wholeness of modern life. Going to the hospital seems like it is being removed from the wholeness of life -- and it is, unless we do not let that happen. Fernando did not let that happen and this book tells that story.

At the very declaration of the illness by the doctors, Fernando began the monumental effort of noticing and keeping every document, correspondence, email -- every precise detail connected with what was happening. He saw the interconnection of these events and experiences and began to realize that illness is never something one encounters and goes through alone. Certainly, upon diagnosis, one must feel alone like never before in spite of the presence of competent medical practitioners and close loved ones. But, inwardly, it is as if alone is confronted -- and, what we see unfolding in the words of this writing is that being so alone, so completely vulnerable, the prospect of death faced -- how that is done, what deep inner resources surface and become utilized determines whether perhaps a cure is enacted by professional competence, or whether the disease prevails, or whether one’s life opens, widens, deepens, and indeed changes from the unexamined life to the full realization of the wondrous and radiant gift of life. The true meaning of the mysterious entwining of all our relationships, visible and present, or far away, and, most important, the presence of an invisible, spiritual realm emerges. For healing to happen requires this intimacy and complexity of relating, not just occurring, but consciously noticed, enacted, offered, and received.

What perhaps surprises most in this account of struggling with cancer for several years, are the many ways that it was always Fernando who reached out to others. He treated everyone as soul-friends, making his many and varied relationships into an intricate work of art, while he himself was a part of the creation of that work, not controlling it from outside. In such circumstances it is relating itself that constitutes the mystery of healing rather than some outside forces -- not even the considerably power forces of modern medical treatment. The doctors offering such spectacular forms of cancer treatment are the first to say that nothing is guaranteed, and the perceptive ones inwardly know that a human being is far more than physical matter and physiology.

This writing makes the reader feel as if there, going through all that Fernando went through, not in a frightening way, but what must be something like a modern spiritual initiation.

The compassion felt toward Fernando by his friends and loved ones was always met by his compassion for others and something else of great importance in healing -- self-compassion. Never, in the whole book is there a hint that Fernando either felt sorry for himself or felt anything but the presence of hope as an intimate companion, something different than the feeble wishes we often consider to be hope.

There are two other important components that seem to be involved in the artistry of healing. The first component is that Fernando was born in Bolivia and grew up in Peru. He knew what close and intimate community is like, for the culture of true community existed and still exists there. The second important aspect of his background is that a good part of the years of his youth was lived in close connection with the sea. Beauty, depth, rhythm, mystery, is built into his soul. These life conditions form the artistic materials that he brought to a time of life crisis and re-worked them in ways that he offers to us, to this civilization that so desperately needs to utilize the will to make community where the depths of it do not exist.

Robert Sardello, Ph.D.

Director, The School of Spiritual Psychology

1. FU’s Story

This book is a story about my experience while undergoing the treatment of recurring blood cancers that afflicted me after I turned sixty-one years old. It is my perspective on what happened, and through this, a description of belief as a human trait, common to all; that along with the support afforded by a community that spontaneously assembled, helped me live through the medical challenges I faced.

A biopsy in August 2011 detected the presence of Hodgkin’s lymphoma, consistent with nodular lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin’s lymphoma (non-classical HL), commonly referred to as Hodgkin’s disease, as a follow-up to a routine checkup with my primary care physician. I underwent seventeen cycles of intensity-modulated radiation therapy (IMRT) that got my cancer into remission. Cancer came back into my life after two years as a diffuse B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma diagnosed in December 2013. I underwent five cycles of R-CHOP chemotherapy (chemo) and then had one R-BEAM chemo prescribed as part of an autologous stem cell transplant (AUTO), intended to improve my survival chances after the conventional chemo treatment of this more aggressive lymphoma.

The second diagnosis was that of a full-blown aggressive stage 4 lymphoma, which is as bad as a cancer diagnosis gets. My health had significantly declined over three months, and it was touch and go whether I would make it at the time I started chemo. I can offer this testimony because of the exceptional competence and dedication of the medical staff that cared for me, and thanks to the love and support of my family and friends who accompanied me while I was undergoing treatment.

I believe that the splendor of an extraordinary light that glimmers deep in the shadow of my heart uplifted my spirit and comforted me to remain positive throughout the process. I never questioned the next step necessary to stay the course on the healing path that unfolded before me. I did not dwell on the possibility of my life being cut short by cancer, although I prudently settled my affairs and updated my last will. I unquestionably trusted God’s providence and pushed forward in accordance with the best medical advice from doctors of my choosing. I felt compelled to uninhibitedly document my experience to family and friends through texts I sent while undergoing treatment to fight my lymphomas.

It is not my intention to discuss the medical treatment I underwent, but rather to describe the spiritual uplift that my loved ones and I experienced while fighting my cancers over the past eight years and counting. I leave it to the doctors to explain the therapies I received, other than to recognize in awe the amazing science and technology I witnessed administered by doctors, nurses, technicians, and the support staff that maintains the facilities where I received the therapies that have allowed me to remain among the living.

Having experienced in the flesh the cutting edge of the medical sciences applied to treat cancer, I can attest with a few caveats that these therapies in many instances do work. They can extend life, but it is necessary to recognize that they are harsh on the body, have dangerous side effects, possible long-term complications, and can be very expensive to undergo.

Regarding the cost of the therapies I underwent, it must be noted that I had the foresight to secure medical insurance early on when I first joined the workforce. It was a tough bill to pay when we were young, healthy, and our earnings barely covered our expenses. My wife, Cecilia, and I made it a priority over the years to maintain our health insurance coverage uninterrupted, making room in our family budget to afford coverage for the high cost of treating catastrophic illnesses such as cancer. Thank God I had good insurance in my back pocket when cancer struck!

The narrative that follows is my recollection, that is, my take on the events that transpired directly related to these significant medical events in my life. Chapter 2 starts the medical timeline with the diagnosis of Hodgkin’s disease at Cleveland Clinic Florida (CCF) on August 11, 2011. It continues through the seventeen IMRT cycles I underwent at 21st Century Oncology, up to my medical release to go back to work on November 2011.

Chapter 3 is a broad background of my life before cancer struck. I deemed it relevant to summarily talk about my family roots, provide tidbits about my formation, and describe the general circumstance of my life, to allow readers to better appreciate my character, the way I faced the medical challenges that came upon me. I believe it helps to put a face on the person offering this testimony and the circumstances surrounding the fight for my life.

Chapter 4 continues the medical timeline, starting with the computed tomography (CT) scan findings released on September 2013 that noted new lesions on my spleen related to the diffuse large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s diagnosis I received on January 3, 2014. The timeline continues in this chapter through the five R-CHOP chemo cycles I underwent at CCF, which concluded on May 2, 2014.

Chapter 5 picks up the medical timeline from this date forth as I effectively transferred my treatment from CCF to the University of Miami Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center (Sylvester) to undergo an AUTO that took place on May 30, 2014. The medical timeline ends on October 20, 2014, with my release back to work and my notice on that date to the Social Security Administration and my employer’s long-term disability insurance directing them to terminate the disability benefits I had been collecting. My continued follow-up treatment and health monitoring transferred back to my doctors at CCF in May 2015.

My cancer diagnosis, the realization that I could die in short order, were sobering experiences. It caused me to asses and put in order my affairs. The first diagnosis stopped me dead in my tracks, but the threat lost its punch as the diagnosis and treatment of the Hodgkin’s disease, cancer to have if you could choose one, was a challenge but a doable one at that. I responded well to the prescribed IMRT and went into remission. My life went on. Facing death, even when the survival odds were stacked in my favor by following exacting due diligence necessary to confirm the diagnosis and treatment, the reality that I had cancer brought to the forefront unfinished business I had simmering on the back burner of my life’s priorities for some forty-odd years.

The unfinished business had to do with a restlessness, call it a longing hard to describe that stirs in the shadow of my heart. It is a feeling that I can trace back to an early childhood dream, ever glimmering in the confines of my imagination, a beacon of light, gleaming far deep inside an unfathomable depth, ever so briefly illuminating a strange landscape haunting me for attention. But as it happened many times before, I was unable to come to grips with this quasi-presence, an emotion that lingers in my awareness as the remnant of a fleeting intuition, ethereal as a fading dream, a seemingly unknowable presence I dubbed The Heart of Heaven.

My second lymphoma diagnosis was devastating. The diffuse large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in a period of a few weeks aggressively overwhelmed my immune system and spread deep, into my bone marrow. My life was evidently at stake. I silently worried about the consequences of my untimely death, the loss and grief my passing would cause to Cecilia and our children. This imminent possibility compelled me to put up a fight, but I also experienced an urgency to remain alive so that I could address The Heart of Heaven I felt breaking through my life.

Chapter 6 draws on all the above to set forth belief as a catalyst that can exalt the mundane into a divine realm, like magic. My conversations with others uncovered deep convictions that uplifted my spirit, engendering a will to live as I fought for my life, to remain so as to be able to describe the emergence of this extraordinary light in the shadow on my heart, the uncovering of something covered with forests an inherent birthright of our nature.

Chapter 7 provides bites of the narrative with slight edits to highlight heartfelt milestones in my healing journey.

I describe what happened along the medical timeline drawing, from medical records and notes I made after visits with my doctors and after the procedures I underwent. I generated FU Status emails to provide updates about my condition throughout the process. They add to the narrative by establishing milestone dates through which I thread contemporaneous email correspondence I generated or exchanged with others directly or indirectly touched by my condition.

Many people now tend to text instead of making phone calls or writing letters, so I took advantage of the exponential editing capability that computer software provides us to reply to all who called on me. I strived to capture the intended inflection of the authors by keeping the original all-caps, bold, ellipses, and fragmented sentences used to convey the best wishes and friendship extended by my loved ones.

The email exchanges with family and friends document the emotional uplift I experienced. It is in the communication back and forth with them that the story of what happened unfolds. It is not a commentator explaining events but more like the pilot’s experience captured by the cockpit’s voice recorder while navigating through a storm. In some instances when the fire burned hot, I openly shared private, uncensored feelings emerging from deep in my heart. A few people also shared deeply felt emotions about the human condition aroused in them when learning about my cancer.

The emails I have included in some instances can appear as repetitive best wishes, prayers, good vibes, or healing energy projected toward me at various times along the medical timeline. But their collective impact is more substantial in that like mantras and truisms repetitively offered up by family and friends at critical points of the healing process, they energized my spirit, bolstering my faith in God’s providence, strengthening my resolve to put up a good fight, and compelling me to persevere through the treatment. The updates on my condition I shared through emails served to affirm to myself that I was on course to a happy conclusion. There is truth in recording what happened to make an event real, so the happening endures and can guide others at crossroads in their lives or in moments of need. I hope that the tale of my journey is useful to demonstrate the positive spirit and faith needed for the healing process to succeed when fighting cancer.

I have come to understand that cancer happens to an individual, but it is a social event. Cancer afflicts a person, but it also affects this person’s immediate family, relatives, friends, coworkers, doctors, and others who may or may not be aware of this person’s condition. As such, cancer is a uniquely personal experience for the afflicted individual, but in various degrees of responsibility, cancer affects the lives of caregivers and of those who rally to support the afflicted person. Beyond the science involved in treating a diagnosed lymphoma, I hope that my testimony helps to exemplify the benefit in cancer treatment of faith, love, and the support provided by the patient’s family and friends.

I want to note that about half of the emails here gathered include Spanish sources. I translated them into English myself, trying as best as I could to capture the intended inflection and maintaining the syntax used by their authors. A dead giveaway of the Spanish sources is the inclusion of a variety of forms of abrazos, which expresses affection with a family camaraderie slant not quite captured by the man hugs used in English, so I have kept the Spanish form.

I include a quote from Jose Saramago’s Definition of a Child, sent in Spanish by my friend Guillermo Letts, nicknamed La Bruja (The Witch). I use a translated version by Gloria Embid posted in her blog at WorldPress.com on November 2, 2013. Also included is a version of Come Creator Spirit, a Gregorian chant quoted in Spanish by my cousin Charito Imana. I translated her version into English rather than having to choose from the many standard English translations from the Latin original. Lucho Guerra sent me a couple of lines I have included from Antonio Machado’s poem Wanderer that Lucho remembered from Machado’s Fields of Castile (1907–1917). A few Biblical passages are mentioned identifying the version from which they were quoted: The Holy Bible New International Version (NIV), and Life Application Study Bible, New Living Translation (NLT).

The connotation of the term cholo used throughout the narrative warrants a clarification. Cholo is considered a derogatory term in the United States for a Mexican or Mexican-American male. In some instances, cholo has connotations of being a member of a gang. In Latin America, cholo is what mestizos are disparagingly also called. It has implications of belonging to a lower social class and of being ignorant, lacking education, and not particularly smart. Cholo can also be an endearing term. It is the nickname by which my close friends and some family members call me. I can count at least seven friends who I grew up in Lima, Peru, also nicknamed Cholo. I remember my mother used to get upset when some of my friends would call me Cholo in her presence. She was quick to correct that I was not a cholo and that my name was Fernando.

My name is Fernando Urioste. For most of my professional life, I have signed off my letters using my full name. With the advent of email in the late 1980s, my electronic signature evolved to Rgds. FU. FU has been the business calling card that has been highly respected by all the clients who saw me as the point person for Austin Commercial, LLP (Austin), the construction company I worked for during most of my adult life. A higher-up to whom I reported during my assignment to a project in California a few decades into my career explained that our clients there would find it offensive if I signed the emails I sent as FU. I was told in no uncertain terms to change my signature to include my full name or to include a middle initial, so FHU made its appearance. H stands for Humberto, the name of my paternal grandfather, a middle name I have never used at any point in my life but that figures in my birth certificate and passport. This tidbit of information is asked in one of the emails I have included, an answer for which I did not provide.

2. Cancer to Have if You Ever Get One

The biopsies of the lymph nodes we removed indicate that you have developed a Hodgkin’s lymphoma. The surgeon’s words instantly had me revisit the worst-case scenario I’d imagined after my family doctor referred me to a surgeon to look at the lump I had detected in my right armpit. I guess it was my silence and stunned countenance that compelled the surgeon to press the issue. You have cancer, and it needs to be addressed.

I became aware of Dr. Conrad Simpfendorfer staring at me, waiting in expectation. What do I do? I finally said, acknowledging to myself the fact that my life had irrevocably been impacted by one of the looming mortal threats in the fringes of our collective imagination.

You need to see an oncologist, he said without hesitation. Let me see if I can arrange for you to see somebody here at the hospital right away. He left me alone in the encounter room with my thoughts while he went to find me an appointment.

Oh, my God, I silently said, realizing I would have to go home and break the news to my wife, Cecilia, and our kids, Fernando, Alejandra, and Gabriel. There was no way around this. On August 11, 2011, everything in our lives had instantly changed, seemingly for the worst.

Dr. Simpfendorfer surprised me by getting me an appointment within the hour with Dr. Chieh-Lin Fu at the Department of Hematology and Oncology of Cleveland Clinic Florida in Weston (CCF). I thanked him, understanding that he had done so because it was urgent for me to follow up on his diagnosis. He stated that Dr. Fu was a great doctor and that I was lucky she had a last-minute cancellation and could work me into her busy schedule.

I checked in at the hematology and oncology desk and called my brother Jose in Atlanta while I sat in the waiting area. I told him about the biopsy results and asked what he knew about Hodgkin’s disease. Nothing other than it is a frequent type of lymphoma. I will ask around and see what I can find out. Jose knew about cancer, having lost his wife, PattyLynn recently to breast cancer after a long and courageous fight. Jose remained as the office manager of PattyLynn’s pediatric practice, and he had good doctor contacts who could help me understand my cancer diagnosis.

Jose pointed out that Kathy, PattyLynn’s older sister, being a pathologist could give us a quick second opinion if I sent her a copy of the biopsy report. I said I had it and would forward it as soon as I got back home. Be sure to let Cecilia and the kids know right away, Jose advised me before hanging up. I spent the rest of the wait time digging in my smartphone for all I could find about Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Dr. Fu is a small woman of Asian descent, and she was very direct when I met her after a short wait. Do you know why you are here? she asked with inquisitive eyes after introducing herself.

I learned that the biopsy of lymph nodes excised from my right axilla indicate I have cancer. Dr. Simpfendorfer referred me to see what you recommend needs to be done to take care of this. Reassured that I understood what was going on, Dr. Fu asked for me to explain how I came to this realization.

I stated that I had struggled with my weight for many years and decided about eighteen months ago to enter a strict weight-loss program that uses human growth hormone to help lose weight. I managed to lose ninety pounds in a short time, which I managed to keep off for over one year. After becoming skinnier, I noticed a lump in my right armpit, which I mentioned to Dr. Ernesto Bonilla, my primary care physician at CCF, during my yearly physical a few weeks ago. He explained that it was probably a fat cyst, but he, nevertheless, referred me to a surgeon to make sure.

Dr. Bonilla’s scheduler scheduled an appointment for me to see Dr. Simpfendorfer within a couple of days of my physical. He examined me and stated that the lump in my right armpit was a swollen lymph node. He indicated that he could feel other swollen ones deeper inside. I explained that I noticed the big one a few weeks earlier and that it probably would have remained unnoticed if I had not lost all the weight I had. He smiled and proceeded to check my entire body but found nothing else swollen. He recommended removing a lymph node to perform a biopsy to determine what caused it to grow. The choice was a no-brainer, so I agreed to let him schedule the procedure.

Dr. Simpfendorfer explained that the biopsy was not a big deal but that it still was a full surgical procedure that would require medical clearance. It meant that various tests and labs had to be performed as due diligence to verify that I was healthy enough to withstand the procedure. I would also need to take a computerized tomography (CT) scan so he could see what was going on inside of my right axilla before he removed any lymph nodes. I had never had a CT scan but generally understood that it used X-rays to produce a three-dimensional image of a targeted cross-section of the body. He noted that they would be running an electrocardiogram (EKG) to make sure my heart was okay to handle the stress of the operation. X-rays of my thorax would also be taken to avoid any surprises with my lungs when going under the anesthesia. I had these tests before and believed they would show that I was in good shape.

I asked Dr. Simpfendorfer to remove as many swollen lymph nodes he found because he was already going to be in there. He cautioned me that he would perhaps take a couple for a biopsy but that it was necessary to determine what had caused them to swell before we started taking them out.

The hospital got the insurance clearance for the procedure surprisingly fast, so I took the pre-op exams quickly. Dr. Simpfendorfer performed the surgery a few days later. I came to see him this morning to get the results. He told me that the biopsies showed I have cancer.

So here I am, I wrapped up after my summation.

Dr. Fu explained, The biopsies of the two lymph nodes Dr. Simpfendorfer removed indicate the presence of a nodular lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin’s lymphoma (non-classical HL). You have what we call Hodgkin’s disease. It is a cancer of the blood affecting your immune system. Fortunately, this is a very treatable type of blood cancer even in an advanced stage, but it needs proper attention.

I replied that I understood and was relieved to hear that even though I had cancer, it was not one of the deadliest varieties. Dr. Fu then gave me a thorough examination, expertly probing with strong fingers all my joints and the entire surface of my body. Just like Dr. Simpfendorfer, she did not notice any other lumps or swellings of concern.

Dr. Fu concluded with the following comment. The bottom line is that the prognosis is very good for this kind of cancer especially when caught early on, as it appears to be your case. Determination of the stage of the lymphoma is the key to its successful treatment. Radiation, chemotherapy, or a combination of both can be used to successfully treat this type of lymphoma.

She indicated I needed a positron emission tomography (PET) scan and should undergo extensive lab work to help ascertain where the lymphoma had spread in my body. Once the stage was determined, she would be able to make an informed recommendation on the treatment options for my consideration. She made it clear that it would be up to me to decide on the treatment once she explained my options. I did not hesitate to agree to undergo whatever exams she deemed necessary. Her scheduled coordinator assisted in making the appointments on an urgent basis before I headed back home with the biopsy report on hand, where I would break the news to Cecilia, the kids, and the rest of the family.

I liked Dr. Fu. She spoke with authority, and her demeanor inspired confidence. I suspected that she appeared younger than her actual age. My gut feeling was that she was the one who could guide me in the fight to survive cancer that had entered my life.

After being married for thirty-nine years, I thought it best to be straightforward with Cecilia about what the doctors had diagnosed. The news hit her just as hard as it had impacted me. Her eyes welled with tears for a second or two, and then she composed herself and gave me a hard hug. We are just going to have to get over this and get you better, she said, looking straight into my eyes as she reassuringly took my hand to start our journey into uncharted waters.

I next got on the Internet to see what else I could learn about Hodgkin’s disease. I found a tremendous amount of information online. Numerous cancer-related websites described the diagnosis and treatment of various types of cancer and identified readily available support groups. I narrowed my search specifically to Hodgkin’s disease. I learned that it is a type of blood cancer originating in the white blood cells, called lymphocytes. I confirmed that it was a very treatable cancer. It generally attacks young adults between fifteen and thirty-five years old, or persons over fifty-five like me.

The staging was something Dr. Fu had not dwelled on, other than stating that it indicated how much cancer had spread in an afflicted person. The online information showed