The Shepherd’s Crook

By Ted Bradshaw

Bill Westover faced an unlooked for and unwelcome
ministry. He was not prepared by background, by education
or by previous ministry experience. And yet Christ
called him, confirmed Bill in a tough inner-city ministry.
He was caught between two warring gangs, threatened,
shot at and beaten seriously. Through it all the Holy Spirit
empowered Bill. With the support of Elaine who feared
for her husband, Bill he returned each day to the Bawdy
District to seek to snatch souls from the jaws of Hell.
Walk with Bill on the sidewalks, stepping over the stoned
or drunk, smelling the sour fumes pouring out of the
bars, past the porno ships and the X-rated theaters, dodging
the street walkers on the corners and trying to bring
the light of Christ into very dark lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984564832

Ted Bradshaw

Ted met the living Jesus at 27. Baptized in the Holy Spirit, Ted graduated seminary as M. Div. Served as a Student Pastor, later Pastor of a yoked parish - Baptist and Congregational churches. Ted became a Christian Counselor, worked in parachurch organizations, on staff in an Episcopal church. Ted went short-term missions to Slovakia; Pakistan; St. Petersburg, Russia; Micronesia (3 times); Philippines and Bulgaria. Ted has written “Servant of the Servants of God”; a novel “Saul – The Traitor!©” His wife Ruth of 57 years has given him two daughters. He has seven grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren."

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 by Ted Bradshaw.

ISBN:                Softcover                978-1-9845-6484-9

                          eBook                      978-1-9845-6483-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 11/16/2018

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1 The Call

Chapter 2 A Stretch of the Legs

Chapter 3 Wrestling with the Enemy

Chapter 4 Ladies of the Night

Chapter 5 The Beachhead

Chapter 6 He Did It!

Chapter 7 Tough But Strong Growth

Chapter 8 Into the Furnace

Chapter 9 Return of the Prodigal

Chapter 10 New Prospects

Chapter 11 Death Beyond the Crossroads

Chapter 12 The Board Meets

Chapter 13 Joining and Breaking

Chapter 14 A New Horizon

Chapter 15 Working the Bugs Out

Chapter 16 Readying the Shakedown Cruise

Chapter 17 Full Steam Ahead

Chapter 18 The Call

Cast of Characters

Chapter 1

The Call

Hello, Bill Westover speaking

Reverend Westover, this is Jim Feldon of 1st Church.

Bill’s heart leaped at the name Good to hear from you, Mr. Feldon. It meant either the opportunity to serve again or hopes dashed – again. O, Lord, I want to serve You. If this is the place, give me the grace to follow You, he silently shot to God. It seemed an eternity before Jim Feldon responded.

Well, I wanted to call you right away with the results of the members’ vote. We’ll be following this up right away with a formal letter. Bill’s heart beat faster as he waited for Mr. Feldon to continue. The members voted to extend a call to you.

"At last! Thank You, Lord for your confidence in me," thought Bill. "I’m very glad to hear that, Mr. Feldon. The family has been talking about this possibility, so we are prepared to move. However, before I make a final commitment to you, I will have to read the full details of your proposal, then we will ask the Holy Spirit to confirm the call.

I understand, Reverend Westover. The Church is prepared to wait for your answer. How long should I say?

Depending on when your letter arrives, I’d say not more than a week.

"Thank you, Reverend Westover. That sounds reasonable. Well, Good bye now.

Good bye and God bless you, Mr. Feldon.

As He hung up the phone, Bill sat back and began to talk with the Lord. Here I am, Lord. Your servant awaits your confirmation. Sitting there in the moment of quiet Bill contemplated the odyssey that led Him to this point.

He and Elaine graduated Penn State in 1982. Already in love, she went to Boston University for a Masters in Psychology, while he was at Gordon-Conwell Seminary. After her Masters, they married in ’84. Elaine worked as a school Psychologist. A year later, when Bill graduated, he was called as a Youth Pastor, beginning September, 1985. Reflecting, Bill remembered his serious downturn as a sophomore in college.

Bill remembered he had been at Penn State in his second year of science, heading for mechanical engineering, when his life fell apart. He had been a good student through high school and that continued through his first year at Penn. That first summer was the watershed. He discovered that he was attractive to girls. They began to take more of his time. It boosted his ego and he began to play the field. After a series of one-night stands, in October he had a serious scare. One girl informed him that she was pregnant. He took the breaks off his drinking with a weekend binge. By the time Bill knew it was a false alarm, he found he liked the sensation of being high and began to maintain the buzz. He started the day with some hair of the dog, then several beers at lunch, followed by three or four throughout the afternoon. That led to his late-night studying accompanied with a pint of whiskey. He began to fall behind in his studies and do poorly on tests. By March ’82, he was on academic probation.

One morning, as he downed his first drink, he looked in the mirror. Bill, he said to his image, Your future is going down the toilet! At first, he didn’t have any idea what to do. Then he said to his reflection, You’re smart. It’s the booze! Cut it out.

He vowed to stop drinking. He found by midafternoon, that his resolve was weakening. His thirst couldn’t be quenched with water. He tried. Bill couldn’t concentrate in his classes. Realizing that sitting in class was a waste of time, he cut the last one. His attempts at studying were also a lost cause. Finally, he tossed off a tumbler of whiskey. As the warm glow spread through him on the one hand it was satisfying and relaxing. On the other hand, it was terrifying.

Bill knew enough to realize addiction when it slapped him down. AA was a possibility, but he didn’t know where to go. I guess I could look in the phone book to call and ask. The confusion made him restless. He put on his coat and walked out. The wind was blowing hard, but it wasn’t raining yet.

Where am I going with my life? Am I doomed at 20 to end up sleeping in the street and begging at street corners?

He had never felt so desperate. Oh, the curse of an intelligent mind! Here I am, bound by drink, yet the consequences are a long downward spiral to death. I’m better than that. I have a future if I can break this addiction.

From that resolve, the next day, Bill decided to go to a hotel far away and live on room service – that meant expensive, so he made a severe raid on his bank account. He took a bus to Eagles Mere Hotel, one hundred miles away. He locked himself in a room for five days. He wrestled day and night with his addiction. How could this come on so strong in just a few months? Then his next thought was, This can’t possibly be so bad. I’m sure I can just drink a bit. Drink just enough to keep the demand down. Torn back and forth, the third day he ordered a fifth from room service. At first, Bill just stared at it. Then he began speaking to it. You don’t own me! I’ll show you! To prove himself the master, Bill decided to open the bottle and leave it open on the table. He tore off the paper seal and opened the bottle. Before he had a second thought he had poured a glass and was about to drink it.

Bill stared at the glass in his hand and began sweating. The longer he looked the more his hunger and thirst for the alcohol intensified. The smell began to make his mouth water. A sip was just a tingle of the bite in a mouthful. As if controlled by some force deep within, Bill, knowing the disastrous result, deliberately and slowly drank off the glass. He knew his fate was sealed. He packed, checked out, and hitchhiked back to Penn State.

His second ride dropped him off at a lonely crossroads. Bill waited a long time until a small panel truck stopped to give him a ride. He hadn’t slept in two days, so Bill quickly went to sleep after the last pull on the hotel bottle. As he dozed off, he thought, I’ll have to get another at the next town.

Time for a little chow, said the cheery voice of the driver.

Bill opened his eyes to the stinging daylight. He looked at the driver for the first time. He was a man in his late forties, a working man with friendly face and hardened hands.

What time is it?

Son, it’s jest past seven and time f’dinner. I been drivin’ five hours since lunch an’ since I picked you up, you’ve been asleep fer two. C’mon let’s chow down. With that, he opened the door and got out. Bill was hungry. His stomach was queasy but felt like he was digesting the lining. He got out and followed the driver into the local roadside diner. It was well worn, but clean. The Formica tabletop had lost much of its pattern from constant scrubbing. The booths were rump sprung. As they sat down, the waitress quickly brought settings, water and menus in an experienced juggling act that laid everything out without fuss or mess and with a jovial greeting to Bill’s driver.

You come here often? Bill asked.

"Sure do! Yvonne’s been servin’ me f’bout five year three times a week. Y’see this is a reg’lar run f’me. I’m a rack jobber f’ ‘Beauty4U’. We supply cosmetics fer lots of village drugstores. This is m’last stop up this away. I’ll be heading back downstate in the mornin’.

Say, m’name’s Ben Cutter. What’s yourn?

Bill Westover.

Whad ya do, Bill?

College student at Penn State.

What in God’s green earth brings you away out here?

Bill looked at him to see who he was. Ben Cutter was an open person. Humor seemed to reside in his eyes. Bill judged, What you see is what you get. His friendly eyes looked accepting and, Bill hoped, non-judgmental. He took a deep breath in resolve to let Ben hear about his panic. Bill wasn’t expecting anything, but he felt sure he had to tell someone. Ben seemed safe – and besides Bill probably would never see Ben again.

I’ve discovered I can’t handle booze. A small crisis put me on a bender, and now after just six months I am so hooked I can’t throw it off. I ran away to Eagles Mere to dry out. After just three days, I blew it. I thought I had a will. But all my determination, all my knowledge, collapses when I get really thirsty! Bill felt the tears of frustration and despair brimming in his eyes. He quickly ducked his head and wiped the tears away. When he looked again at Ben, the humor had been replaced by sorrow. Bill sensed that it was not pity, but commiseration.

Ben confirmed it when he said, "Ah, son. I been there! Twenty years and more ago, I was a young buck like you. Had the worl’ by the tail. I could laugh and drink any man unner the table. Aluz jokin’. Nothin’ seryus. But un day I had a snoot full. M’best fren, Jerry, pushed me too far. I jumped ‘im and nearly pounded the life outen ‘im. I don’ know what got aholt o’ me, but the mad’ kep’ pouring punches onta Jerry. They hada pull me oft.

"The jege tol’ me that he’d suspen’ m’sentence, ifn I kep’ away from the drink. I swore I’d niver touch nother drop. Two days later I’us in ‘at there bar w’ a drink in m’hand. The barkeep called the cops. He’d seen me beatin’ Jerry, an’ didn’t want any trouble, so he phoned. That jege sent me down fer five-year, assault ‘n’ battery. I dried out in the slammer, alright, but niver got rid o’ the thirst.

"After two years, a parson came t’ call. It’s the same ol’ story. I chased ‘im away at first. But he was persistent, that ol’ parson was. He talked ’bout Jesus alla time. How He ‘uz God ‘n’ man t’gether. How Jesus loves sinners. How He died f’ my sins. Fin’ly ‘is words got into m’ thick head and began buzzin’ ‘round. ‘Beholt, I stan at the door an’ knock. If anyone hear m’voice an’ open the door, I’ll cum in and sup w’ ‘im, ‘n’ ‘he w’ me.’

"I looked at m’ cell door an’ I wanted Jesus t’ cum in, in the worst way, but my cell door uz locked. That ol’ parson tol’ me that it uz my heart door that had locked Jesus out, ‘cause no damn cell door cud.

When he sed that, the ol’ Holy Spirit got aholt o’ me ‘n’ pushed me up face t’ face w’ Jesus. Oh, he was be-yootiful. Oh, he was good. He pumped m’ heart full o’ love ‘n put the smile back onta m’ face. W’thin six months I’uz a free man. Jesus delivered me frum jail, jest like he did St. Pete. The firs’ time I walked by a bar, I autermatkly turned in. When the door shet ahind me, the Lord said, ‘Ben, whachya doin’ in here?’ I turned on m’ heel and walked right back out. I still git the hankers fur a drink now ‘n’ agin, but I aluz repeat Jesus’uz queschun, ‘Ben, whachya doin’ in here?’ I know it’s jest that ol’ deceever triun’ ta turn me away frum the Lord.

Bill was flabbergasted by this outpouring of confession. Ben seemed in no way embarrassed by his admission to a felony conviction or time in jail or to his ongoing battle with alcohol. This was an openness that Ben had never experienced.

You sound pretty convinced.

Cunvinced is not the word fer it. Jest as sure as I’m sittin’ here, jest as sure as the worl’ exists, Jesus delivered me frum jail an’ duz ev’r day frum drink!

But you must have had someone else to help. Surely that minister who came to prison, went to bat for you.

Naw, I niver saw ‘im agin.

Are you telling me that Jesus is real? That can’t be true. He died 2,000 years ago. Maybe his spirit or his influence is working today, but not really him.

Ben’s expression changed from intense earnest to humor. Well, son, ya niver met the Prezidint o’ the U. S., but he’s real an’ ya cud meet him. Jesus is a lot eas-yer t’ meet then that Prezidint, wi’all them s’curty gards ‘n’ sech. All ya gotta do, is ask, ‘n’ boy! Jesus cums w’power. Ya mind, Bill, ‘f I pull out m’ Bible?

Yvonne arrived to take their orders. Ben said, My treat. As soon as she left, Ben pulled out of his coat pocket a well-used Bible, travel worn and thumb-stained. He took Bill through the Scriptures, showing how Jesus was promised in the Old Testament.

As Yvonne returned with their orders, Ben interrupted his fascinating teaching to josh with Yvonne. Bill was caught with a mouthful, when Ben started praying. But he prayed aloud – right there in the diner! Bill’s surprise made him miss the first part, but there was plenty more. He was talking to God like God was a good buddy. Then Bill found his name woven into the fabric of Ben’s talk with his buddy, God. With the In Jesus’uz name, amen, Ben tied into his meal. Bill turned his concentration back to his plate, too. But that did not last long. He found Jesus buzzin’ ‘round his thick hed too. Bill had much to chew on mentally, as well as dentally.

Finally, Ben pushed back his plate and waved to Yvonne for more coffee. As she poured their cups full, she asked about dessert. Ben looked at Bill. Bill had had enough. Ben said, Thanks, darlin’ bring me the check an’ keep our cups full.

I’ve got a question, Ben, Bill started. "If Jesus was so important, why did God wait so long to send him to earth?’

Yer a sharp one, thet’s true. God’s plan uz t’ allow the Jews plenny o’ time t’ see that the Law God gave cudint be kep’. The Law uz t’ show us that we uz hepless ‘thout God. All four Gospels (that means ‘gud news’) quote Ol’ Testimint t’show how God was in th’ beginnin’. All the Ol’ Testimint uz jest the prelim – import’nt, but PRE-lim. It’s the New Testimint that shows the love of God by sacrificing his own Son fer us. Ben launched into a detailed explanation of salvation by grace through faith, turning to scripture after scripture to buttress his words. Bill found his head swimming and his emotions confused. There was an underlying excitement in the hope that maybe there was a future for him. But he was in conflict with everything he had been taught. Reality was something you could experience physically. The immaterial was fantasy. Hope and excitement clashed with doubt and distaste at the idea of God sacrificing his Son. His heart was beating, if only …!, while his head kept saying, This can’t be true!

Finally, Bill said, Hold on, Ben! I’ve got to think this through.

Yer right, son. I do git egsited. An’ I know I’m throwin’ too much atchya, all ta wunst. Let’s head on down the road a bit to a motel – my treat.

Well, really, Ben you treated me to dinner. I have money. Let me …

Naw, Bill, I bin talkin’ yer ear oft. I’ll pony up fer the o’ernite. This motel is clean an’ the folks ‘r’ nice Christian folks. I like ta give’m my biznuss.

As they drove on in the dark, Bill mulled over all he could remember of what Ben had been saying. He looked at his feelings, trying to get to their root. He began to realize that if what Ben said was true, then Bill’s world view must change. He must accept the possibility of spiritual worlds beyond … no, underneath? … in addition to? … the material world he knew. He must take seriously what it meant that God, a supreme … no, the Supreme Being was in fact in charge of the universe. His life must change drastically. However, knowing what Ben had said, could he ever go back? Bill doubted he would ever be the same anyway, so he might as well see if Jesus was real.

As they settled into the comfortable motel room, Bill was pensive. He was deep in thought as he turned down his twin bed. Ben respected Bill’s privacy. He took his suitcase immediately into the bathroom to change for bed. Bill was sitting up in bed when Ben came back and climbed into bed.

OK, Ben, before you turn out the light, I’m open to try what you have been talking about. What do I do now?

It makes me very happy to hear thet, son, but it’s not sumpin’ to try. Jesus don’ want no ha’f measures. It’s all ‘r nuthin’ wi’ him. Ya got ta throw yer hat in the ring – win, lose or draw.

I don’t know how to do that. All I’ve got is knowledge of the possibility of truth I have never known … and a lot of confused feelings.

"Sech honest words ‘r’ a start. If yer willin’ ta give Jesus all ya got – all yer questins, all yer emotions, ‘n’ allow Him ta do what he will wi’em, then let’s do it!

Now, we’re talkin’ to God, so be honest, but revrint. Lord God, ‘r Father. Bill, here is lookin’ fer a new life. He don’ know what that means yet, but He wants you ta hep ‘im, Without missing a beat, Ben looked seriously at Bill and said, That’s right, ain’t it, son?

Yes. Bill whispered.

Ok, then tell ‘im so.

What do I say?

Say what ya sed ta me, on’y talk ta Jesus.

Well, this isn’t comfortable, but I’ll try. Bill turned his attention, Jesus, Ben says you are God. I’ve never thought of you that way before. I guess I’ve never really thought of you at all. Ben says you can bail me out of this mess of bondage to alcohol. I don’t know if I believe you can, but I sure can’t do it myself. Ben says …

At that point, Bill had a clear perception that someone spoke inside him, I say to you come to me and I will make you My servant. Give me your lostness and I will give you a world you have never imagined. Let me take all your fear and I will give you a sense of surety.

Overwhelmed with love and gratitude and praise, Bill lay for a long time repeating, I love you Jesus. I love you Jesus.

When at last he opened his eyes, he saw Ben fast asleep. He almost awakened him to proclaim his new-found Lord. He resisted and went quickly to sleep.

Sitting by the phone Bill remembered fondly Ben’s excitement was matched only by his own in telling this new friend about Jesus speaking to him. They parted the next day, knowing they would not likely see one another again until Heaven.

Bill, with hard work, managed to pull his coursework out of academic probation. Over the summer waiting tables, he spent much time talking with Jesus and wondering about his future. Engineering did not seem so important. Fall semester he turned to liberal arts. Bill found that the ideas of philosophy were fascinating. He enjoyed learning how people work in psychology, sociology, and political science. He was surprised to discover God’s fingerprints all over history. God’s hands guided both faithful and faithless, to accomplish God’s great purpose in man.

In his senior year, Bill met Elaine. He hadn’t dated since his scare with Marilyn Morrison. He was no longer looking for one-night stands, so when he saw Elaine in Psychology 420 (Abnormal) he didn’t respond to her look. He listened to her questions and her class presentation. He realized they thought along the same lines. They both questioned the purely secular approach to the psychic mind. She often supported his challenges to the lack of concern for the souls of the patients, much to the frustration of their professor.

One day after class, Bill started to pass Elaine in the hall, but stopped. He asked her to coffee, but she demurred, saying she had another meeting. Several days later, Elaine approached Bill to ask if she could cash her rain check for coffee. He agreed.

That was the best decision I ever made, except talking to Jesus that first time, he thought. It reminded him that he had been musing and had not called Elaine to tell her the news.

Hello, this is Dr. Westover.

Hi, M’Luv.

Bill! If you’re calling at this time, you must have some news.

Yeah, something more for us to pray about. 1st Church wants us to come.

What did you tell them?

I said we would have to be sure of the Lord’s leading and I wanted to see their full proposal before committing to them. I asked for a week.

How did he respond?

Well, of course he agreed, but I think he called expecting that it was a slam dunk. He may be concerned about having to put off the others, until we decide.

Thanks, Hon, for that ‘we’. I’ve got a client coming in a few moments and I want to prepare. Let’s talk with all the kids tonight.

Good! I’ll see you when you get home. Luv ya, bye.

Bye, Hon.

They had dated the last half of their senior year. Probably they spent more hours talking than any other activity. Bill quickly told Elaine about his experience with Jesus. When she heard him, Elaine smiled within herself, thanking the Lord. She liked Bill. They thought along the same lines. But since she had been raised a believer in Jesus, she had been wary of relations with boys who were not spiritually compatible. Here was one of the few who knew Jesus, too. And what’s more she really liked him. It wasn’t long before they were going to the Campus Crusade for Christ meetings and to church together. Bill found Elaine’s knowledge of Scripture to be helpful in his growth in Christ. Elaine was pleasantly surprised at Bill’s insights as they read the Bible together. Their prayer life blossomed together far more than Elaine’s had alone. Two are better than one, Elaine thought. Thank you, Lord!

Over the summer, since Bill lived in Port Jervis, Pennsylvania and Elaine lived in Harrisburg, a three to four-hour drive, it was difficult to get together. Their contact was by phone and letter. Bill tried several churches in his area, but they all seemed to be missing the reality of Jesus. Finally, he found one that had exciting worship and began attending. He was bothered, though, by their lack of vision for ministry. Having seen several directionless churches, Bill felt a great need to broadcast the good news that Jesus is not only real, but He is active in our world.

The first weekend in August, Bill drove the family’s second car to spend the time with Elaine. The folks next door to Elaine agreed to allow Bill to bunk in their spare room Friday and Saturday night. After a courteous greeting and depositing his suitcase, Bill rushed next door. They had dinner with Elaine’s parents. Again, Bill was polite, but he had an undercurrent of impatience to talk with Elaine alone. Finally, after dessert, they went out to the front porch. There was a fresh breeze blowing away the oppressive humidity. Bill watched the wind ruffling Elaine’s hair. For a few minutes his impatience was deferred while he enjoyed looking at her.

Elaine broke the magic of the moment. Bill, I think I’d like to accept Boston University’s offer to work on my Master’s this Fall.

I think that’s great for you.

What have you decided about your future?

That’s what I’ve been dying to talk to you about. Elaine, can you see me as a pastor?

You want to go to seminary?

I’ve been feeling a pull toward church. I see so much that needs to be changed, and I think Jesus can use me. What do you think?

You are a bit inexperienced in the faith to be considering the ministry, but if Jesus is calling you … after all, Peter and James and John didn’t have any experience when Jesus called them. He gave them three years. That’s what you would have in Seminary.

What I need is for you to pray with me to help me discern if this is the Lord’s will, or if it is some ego trip of my own. If it is, I know it will end in disaster.

Ok, Bill, let’s pray.

Bill and Elaine spent the next day and a half talking and praying about both their decisions. By Sunday both were pretty well convinced that they had each heard from the Lord.

Elaine suggested, Bill, after church, before you drive home, let’s talk with Reverend Morelli about this. I’ve known him all my life and trust his discernment and judgment.

I’m not sure. He doesn’t know me from Adam, so how can he know if the ministry is right for me? Besides I have to leave about 3 to get home at a reasonable hour.

C’mon, Bill. It can’t hurt. While you are evaluating him, Pastor can evaluate you.

You’ve got a point.

Upon leaving the church after worship they spoke to Pastor Morelli. He was free, or he made himself free. He invited Bill and Elaine into his church office. Well, you two seem to be happy together. How long have you been going together?

That made Bill start. He hadn’t considered them going together. They were friends, were dating, but going together?

We met in school not quite a year ago, Bill reported. ’Going together’ puts a new slant on things, he thought. As he looked over at Elaine, Bill saw something behind her face he had never seen before. There was a maturity, and assurance, and when their eyes met, a closeness he had not known with anyone else. Yes, He thought, this is a step up in the relationship. And, he mused, a step down into intimacy. Pastor Morelli has discernment!

Elaine, since you have never asked to speak with me before, this request indicates to me that you are maturing. Tell me what this is about.

Thank you, Reverend Morelli.

Elaine, you’ve known me long enough to call me Dan. Or, if you prefer, Pastor,

Of course, Pastor. Bill and I have been talking all weekend about our plans for the future. It is clear to me, and Bill agrees, that I go on to graduate work in psychology. Bill is considering the ministry and we’re looking for confirmation of His calling. How can we know if Jesus is really calling Bill to be a pastor?

Whew, that’s a relief off my mind, sighed the Pastor. I thought you were wanting to be married next week!

Bill blanched and Elaine reddened. Hurriedly Bill exclaimed, No, no, no, nothing like that! Then he glanced at Elaine to see her eyes widen in surprise. I, I, I mean we came here to, to, to talk about seminary, or the ministry, uh, uh whether I should go after this. He kept trying to dig himself out. We really like one another, Elaine and I, b-b-b-but……. He knew he was getting it all wrong and worse by the moment, so he shut up.

Graciously the Pastor bailed him out. Please forgive my unseemly presumption. It is clear to me that you have something special together. Let’s leave it at that! Now about the ministry ….

Swallowing and reaching for the life line the Pastor threw, Bill grasped it while studiously avoiding looking at Elaine.

You see we, uh I, have been thinking that there is a lot in the New Testament about how churches should run and how they should minister. I have been in several and they seem to miss the point. Some are very formal, while others are informal. Those that seem to have worship that brings you close to Jesus, don’t seem to have a ministry outside their doors. Jesus said, ‘Go into all the world’, but I don’t see them doing that. Other churches have no spirit in their worship, but they are involved in every cause that comes down the pike. Jesus also said, ‘Preach the gospel, heal the sick.’ I know my experience is not much, but it seems to me that the church should be both rich worship and active service. Maybe if I become a pastor I can move a church that way.

That’s a laudable goal, Bill. What do you think, Elaine?

Elaine seemed to be coming back from a long way away. Collecting her thoughts, she replied, Pastor, I know Bill loves Jesus. He has learned so much from the Bible in this last year. I have been amazed at the insights he has had. While I’ve been reading the Bible since I learned how, He seems to surpass me in understanding.

"That’s a pretty good recommendation, Bill. I have followed Elaine’s progress through church school and know she’s no slouch, when it comes to Bible understanding.

However, I must warn you, Bill. Your passion can easily outstrip the grace God gives you to work with people. What you need to do is be patient to know that you know the Lord’s voice. So, unless you have more to say, let’s pray together.

With that Pastor Morelli slipped off his chair to his knees. He began praying in resonant tones and majestic language. At first Bill was surprised since he had never thought of praying on his knees. He, too, knelt. He couldn’t help contrasting the simple prayers of Ben in conversational tone and improper grammar. The Lord spoke as he was listening to the Pastor. Bill, prayer is voiced by people and shaped by their education and experience. I do not listen to the tongue, but the heart. The longer the Pastor prayed the more Bill felt the Holy Spirit wash over him. Bill recognized a man with a heart for God was leading him into the throne room of Almighty God. Bill, in the presence of the Lord, became profoundly aware of his inadequacies. He was aware of his sin but felt assurance that he was a welcome son of the Father. It was the sense of his inadequacies that troubled him, I guess, I don’t measure up to be a pastor, He thought.

As the Pastor finished speaking, Elaine prayed, Spirit of God come on us now and teach us all you have for us at this moment. This simple prayer went to the heart of the issue.

Bill realized in the silence that followed Elaine’s prayer that it was his turn. He realized he couldn’t even come close to the eloquence of the Pastor’s prayer. He couldn’t be succinct as Elaine had. He felt humbled and out of his depth. So, he opened his mouth and began, OK, Lord, maybe I don’t measure up. I don’t know what else to do with my life, so I guess, you had better do something with it. I am open to options. He thought, Is that the best you got? Boy, you better choose another direction!

Bill opened his eyes to see an intent look on the Pastor’s face as his eyes cut to Bill’s soul. He glanced away from the penetrating gaze to look at Elaine for the first time since his blunder. Her eyes were moist and her face radiant.

The Pastor spoke first, "Bill you could have prayed in a hundred different ways. Had you done so I would have counseled you to get a job, work and study Scripture for two or three years to prepare yourself. You see, I have seen many a young man on fire for God either burn himself out with misspent energy assaulting walls too high for him, or so full of arrogance they cut a mighty path of devastation, leaving broken souls in their wake. However, your prayer of humility shows me that you have the stuff of the ministry. The first and most important lesson of my ministry, any ministry, is that ‘I am not God’. The second is that I am a servant of the people as well as the Lord. It sounds to me that you have learned the first and are teachable to learn the second.

What is your feeling, Elaine.

Oh, Bill! I felt the Holy Spirit hovering as you were praying. My heart cried out, ‘This man of God is His servant!’.

Unless you feel strongly otherwise, the Pastor began, I think we need to get you into seminary as quickly as possible. That means this fall!

But I thought it was going the other way! My prayer was so clumsy. I didn’t see God or angels or anything.

Do you still want to go into the ministry, Bill?

Oh, yes, Pastor, I do. I can’t think of anything else.

Elaine, do you support Bill in this decision?

Yes, Pastor.

Then let’s get started. Bill what church are you attending? What’s your Pastor’s name?

And so, the whirlwind of preparation began. Pastor Morelli got busy on the phone and reached Bill’s Pastor. He agreed that he had seen possibilities in Bill’s short time in his church. Pastor Morelli held the phone out and turned to Bill, He suggests Gordon-Conwell Seminary in Boston. Do you have another in mind?

No, I hadn’t gotten that far yet.

"He says Gordon’s fine with him Pastor. Can you write a letter of recommendation that I can append mine to? Fine, it’s my day off tomorrow, but we’ve little time to get Bill enrolled, so if I get mine off to you, will you include it with yours? Please ask them to send Bill an application and a catalogue. You have his address? Good! Any way I can help, just give me a ring. I pray the Lord will anoint your ministry afresh. Thank you, Good bye.

Ok, Bill. You have a lot to do between now and mid-September when you have to show up on campus. First, sit down and write a testimony about your spiritual journey", how you came to faith in Christ, your Christian education, any background that seems appropriate. Send it to your Pastor for critique. I don’t think he’ll amend your content, but he will likely help you know what to add or eliminate and how to phrase some of the things.

Next, you need to ‘get your affairs in order’. While Manchester is not far from Boston, I strongly recommend you live in campus housing to avoid the waste of time commuting. It’s more expensive to be sure, but if money is a problem, your Pastor or the seminary can help. Besides, Jesus isn’t going to let His anointed go begging bread.

Bill realized two things as the Pastor ushered them out the door; he had just been with a man of God who was ready at the drop of a hat to change his mind to follow the Spirit. Next, he realized he should have been taking notes of all the information and advice the Pastor gave him.

Lost in his own thoughts, Bill suddenly came to realize Elaine was being very quiet on the walk home. O my gosh! he thought, How am I going to deal with my blowing off our relationship?

Elaine?, he ventured, I put my foot in my mouth back there.

What do you mean?

Well, uh, when the Pastor thought you and I wanted to get married I, uh, I sort of, you know … Well we’ve talked and talked about our futures, but never about our futures together.

That’s right, Bill.

She’s not helping me one bit! Bill grimaced. I really like you. No! More than that, you’re my sister in Christ and I love you. But as soon as he said it Bill knew that was not right either. They had had romantic dinners together. They had walked hours under romantic skies. Why Friday night, Bill reminisced, on the swing, with her hair blowing I wanted to caress it. That’s not what brothers and sisters do!

Elaine walked along looking at her shoes.

The silence and his thoughts became too much! Elaine, Sweetheart! he burst out, then gulped as he realized what he was saying. I do like you, we have great times together and we can talk and share. You are my sister in Christ and I’m your brother. All that is real and true, but it’s not right. No. I mean, it’s not enough. I, I, I guess I’m saying I love you in a romantic way that means I don’t want to be away from you. But it’s more than romantic, ‘cause I want you to be a part of me. Bill was gathering momentum, I’m talking all around the fact that I want you to marry me.

Bill! and she burst out laughing. You just said a mouthful. I had not thought beyond our plans, either. Pastor put his finger on the thing that probably everyone else saw but us. Elaine stopped her laughter and turned more serious. Then, carefully, Yes, Bill. I do love you. I do want you to be a part of my life. I want us to share our lives to build something wonderful for each other and the Lord. I will marry you!

Bill put his arms around Elaine and she seemed to fit. Elaine blended into Bill’s embrace as if they had held one another a million times. His face immersed in Elaine’s hair. Caught up in the emotion of the moment, yet Bill’s mind had an extraneous thought, That’s what I really wanted to do Friday night. Elaine felt giddy and lightheaded but was buoyed up by Bills strength. She felt comforted and secure, realizing that she had never understood that was what she had been missing. Bill realized that she was his responsibility. He had a flash of anger, If anyone tried to harm Elaine! his own Elaine.

Yes, Elaine, his own. She had truly been Bill’s help meet all these years. Bill remembered their graduate years, with Elaine at BU and him at Gordon. They were together many times a week, studying together. Too often, it seemed to both, school schedules, evening study groups, seminars, and her thesis kept them apart. Half way through Elaine’s second year they agreed it was time for wedding plans. August after Elaine got her Master’s would give time for her to complete her studies, finalize wedding preparations, and get a job. That way, during Bill’s last year a seminary, they could be together and Bill would not have to work. He could concentrate on studies and writing.

That first year of marriage was blissful, despite harried and conflicting schedules. Boston Public Schools hired Elaine as a staff psychologist. The job was great, because her boss became her mentor. She learned more on the job than in classes and theory. It was also great because her hours gave her evenings with Bill. He was diligent and disciplined so that for the most part his class work was done, so he had most evenings free to be with her. They discussed the cases in hypothetical form that Elaine was working on. Bill’s spiritual insights gave Elaine inspiration as to how to help her students. Bill bounced ideas off Elaine and her criticisms sharpened his focus and gave him a breadth and depth of vision, beyond himself.

At the end of the school year, Bill graduated in the top five percent of his class. A growing Boston church, Cornerstone Congregational Church, pastored by Matthew Caruthers, called Bill as a youth pastor. Elaine received a glowing report from her mentor and a merit raise. Bill threw himself into the ministry to the children in the church. He examined the current curriculum and found it without spiritual substance. His research came up with a non-denominational curriculum that was linked to a schedule of Scripture readings. He convinced the Senior Pastor to adopt the readings as his sermon topics. The church worship and church school became coordinated. The parents had advanced copies of the lessons covered both in church school and in sermons. Many were pleased at the way this brought families together around the Word.

Since Bill was doing so well, and she had the support of her mentor, Elaine and Bill discussed and agreed that she should begin a three-year doctoral program at BU. They reversed roles. Elaine scaled back her hours with the School District to just six a week. It was important practicum, while studying. Bill became the substantial breadwinner and often cooked dinner.

Bill chuckled as he remembered many disasters as he was learning to cook and get everything on the table warm and fully (but not over) cooked at the same time. For a while, they thought their apartment would never be free of the charred smell. He really had to hand it to Elaine, working and studying so hard, putting up