A Global Nomad in Search of True Happiness

By Hani Ibrahim Khoja

Each and every human being in history has been created to make the world a better place. Some of us have been blessed with more health, wealth, wisdom, and security. But all of us have a unique ability to make a difference. There is a compelling Quran verse informing us that all living beings have been chosen by God as his khalifas (agents and inheritors) on earth. The question that constantly whispers in my ear and drives my every action is In what specific ways can I be Gods khalifa?

With so much chaos surrounding us, where would I start? I had recently felt confused. I wanted to do something, but I didnt know what. And so this book emerged. Writing it has been a process to overcome my paralysis and start the momentum. Through this self-reflection, I have come up with a five-step formula to living happily forever.

Firstly, I hope this book will inspire others to determine their ultimate destiny as Ive attempted to do. Secondly, I hope to provide a roadmap for others toward an eternal life of happiness by helping those less fortunate, utilizing our unique skills and interests. Thirdly, I hope to bridge the gap between the American and Saudi cultures. Extremists have created unjustified distrust on both sides. Most Americans feel Saudis are violent, backward, and unapproachable, while many Saudis see Americans as imperialistic warmongers.

Having lived most of my life between both cultures, I will highlight the similar values and beliefs Americans and Saudis share. I aim to outvoice the extremists, who have thus far dominated the conversation, and to provide a realistic picture of both cultures.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524537265

Book preview

A GLOBAL NOMAD

IN SEARCH OF

TRUE HAPPINESS

BY HANI IBRAHIM KHOJA

Copyright © 2016 by Hani Ibrahim Khoja.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016913945

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5245-3728-9

                Softcover        978-1-5245-3727-2

                eBook             978-1-5245-3726-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 12/05/2016

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Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

PART 1: WHO ARE YOU?

•   I AM A SAUDI AMERICAN

•   I AM A HARDWORKING PROBLEM-SOLVER

•   I AM A SAUDI CORPORATE LEADER

•   I AM A SOCIAL ADVOCATE

PART 2: WHAT ARE YOU SUPREMELY GOOD AT?

•   I AM STRONG IN MARKETING

•   I AM STRONG AT CREATING BUSINESSES AND HELPING OTHERS STRATEGIZE.

•   I AM SUPER PERSISTENT

PART 3: WHO DO YOU WANT TO HELP AND HOW?

•   SIX JUGGLING BALLS OF HAPPINESS

•   I WANT TO HELP MY FAMILY BE HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY

•   I WANT TO HELP MY COUNTRY BE WIDELY RESPECTED ACROSS THE WORLD.

•   I WANT TO HELP REDUCE UNEMPLOYMENT

•   I WANT TO SUPPORT ENTREPRENEURSHIP

•   I WANT TO UPGRADE THE EDUCATION SYSTEM AND GRADUATE A HIGHLY VALUED LABOR FORCE

•   I WANT TO UPGRADE THE WELLBEING OF RESIDENTS

•   I WANT TO HELP COMPANIES BECOME SUCCESSFUL REGIONAL COMPETITORS

•   I WANT TO MAKE CHARITABLE GIVING MORE PRODUCTIVE AND SUSTAINABLE

•   I WANT TO ENHANCE THE SAUDI ARABIA BRAND GLOBALLY

•   I WANT TO ENSURE EACH AND EVERY HAJJ AND OMRAH VISITOR HAS AN INCREDIBLY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE

•   I WANT TO HELP UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN ACROSS THE WORLD GAIN ACCESS TO HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION

•   I WANT TO HELP ZAYTUNA COLLEGE GRADUATE HIGHLY PRODUCTIVE ISLAMIC SCHOLARS

•   I WANT TO HELP THE WORLD GET TO KNOW THE TRUE PROPHET MOHAMMED PEACE BE UPON HIM

•   I WANT TO HELP AS MANY PEOPLE, ANIMALS, AND PLANTS UNTIL MY DYING DAY

PART 4: WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO TURN IDEAS INTO REALITY?

•   ANNOUNCE YOUR INTENTIONS TO THE WORLD

•   ASSEMBLE YOUR DREAM TEAM

•   DEVELOP A BASIC OPERATIONAL PLAN

PART 5: WHAT’S STOPPING YOU FROM JUMPING?

•   BELIEVE YOU WERE BORN A KHALIFA!

•   CONFRONT YOUR FEARS

•   VISUALIZE SUCCESS

•   GET IN TOUCH WITH THOSE YOU WANT TO HELP

•   SURROUND YOURSELF WITH AMAZING PEOPLE

•   PERSEVERE

CELEBRATE SUCCESSES AND KEY MILESTONES

CONCLUSIONS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

THE AUTHOR

This book is dedicated to my late father, friend, &

special advisor; Ibrahim Faris Khoja, God rest his soul.

He taught me that no matter what I pursue in life, I

should always strive to be the best.

INTRODUCTION

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O n January 1, 2015 11am I had an epiphany. I was standing at Kilimanjaro summit after 12 challenging hours of hiking which started at 11pm the previous night. The last 2 hours were particularly grueling. It was -20°C and my water bottle was completely frozen. Every time I felt I had expended the absolute last ounce of energy in my body, I would discover a reserve energy tank deep inside me. Every time I felt I simply couldn’t go on, I would somehow find the will to go just a bit further. What inspired me further was watching my wife Serene reaching deep down inside herself and discovering she had a much higher threshold of pain and a much stronger will than she ever thought she had. She had really struggled the 1 st 3 days with major foot blisters, a bruised tailbone after a nasty fall, and severe nausea to start each day. I had to not only motivate myself but also her every day. The 4 th day was her turning point. She had a particularly difficult start and was on the verge of quitting. But she reached deep inside herself and made the decision that she was going to do whatever it took to reach the peak. On the 6 th day, summit day, the tables had turned. I was the one struggling. It took an incredible amount of meditation to get me through. I expressed my gratitude to God for all what He had given me. I paid my respects to the mountain, and I asked it to make the climb easier for me. I reviewed my life and laid out plans for the future. And whenever I thought I had extinguished the last bit of energy in my body, I would look up to see my wife Serene fighting off exhaustion, nausea due to lower oxygen levels, and cold. She was taking 1 step at a time through sheer will power. We were both drained physically and emotionally when we reached the sign reading,

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Seeing this sign at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro was a memory I will never forget.

We were walking on the top of the 4th highest mountain peak in the world and the highest in Africa. Clouds normally seen from the outside of an airplane were below us. We realized how high we had climbed when we looked outside our Ethiopian Air window 24 hours later and saw that we were flying at the same altitude. We both discovered that we were created with incredible bodies which can be trained to do almost anything. We have the willpower to do anything we decide. The epiphany I had at the peak of Kilimanjaro was that I have the ability to achieve my dreams –all I needed was to strive towards them 1 step at a time.

THIS IS MY 1

ST

STEP.

We live in a world where extremists and hard-liners are the loudest voices in the room. On one side, we have extremists in Western media accusing Islam as a terrorist ideology. They argue that ALL Muslims believe that blowing themselves up in the name of Allah will buy them a ticket to Paradise. They shout that Muslims want all non-believers dead. They claim that all Muslims pray for the death and destruction of Western societies and values. They believe that Islam bullies innocent people into their line of thinking. They argue that long bearded men with machine guns strapped on their shoulders living in caves represent Islam. They argue on late-night television and early Sunday political shows that terrorist organizations such as ISIS and Al-Qaida are the official spokespeople for over 1 billion Muslims across the world.

The other side of the extreme spectrum isn’t any better. Extremists speaking on behalf of Islam argue that the West is against Islam and is only interested in the exploitation of the Islamic world’s natural resources. They argue that all Westerners want to destroy Islam as a religion. Westerners are all Charlie Hebdo who want to purposely antagonize Muslims with offensive books and cartoons. They argue that all Westerners are decadent, sinful people whom need to be guided to the true path. They argue that current leaders of the Arab and Muslim world are corrupt agents of the Western world. Any efforts to reform or improve society is an attempt to introduce Western values and corrupt Muslim women and children.

The problem with these extreme ideologies is that they are being advocated by politicians, writers, and militants with superficial knowledge of the subject matter. They speak on behalf of the moral majority. They make ridiculous generalizations based on biased survey results. They make stereotypes which are not only offensive but in fact illogical.

• If Islam believes in the slaughter of all non-Muslims, then how did Christians and Jews live peacefully under Islamic rule for 1000s of years?

• If Islam suppresses women, then why did it improve their rights in the spheres of; family life, marriage, education, and economic endeavors?

• If Islam is backward and illogical, then why is it the fastest growing religion on the planet?

• If Prophet Mohammed was a hateful war-monger, then why is his name the most common on earth?

• If Western society wants to destroy Islam, then why do Muslims enjoy the greatest freedoms today under their rule?

• If Western society is so decadent, then why do Muslim immigrants flock to it every year?

• If Western society was against Muslims, then why are top Muslim scholars, scientists, and innovators being invited and funded by Universities and Corporations?

Both extremes have counter-arguments for all these rhetorical questions, inevitably relying on well thought out conspiracy theories. But despite their conflicting ideologies and ridiculous arguments in the media, they both seem to agree on a common solution: to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Start from scratch. Remove all the current leaders and political systems and start anew. Press the reset button. Hard-liners have argued that there is no hope with the current political systems. They are too corrupt. So it would be more productive and moral to start afresh. Nuke the whole area and instill new political systems and leaders. The people will suffer in the short term but then be grateful when the economic prosperity inevitably kicks in.

What has been the result of this experiment? The jury is still out, and it will take generations to achieve the long term change required and impact desired. In the meantime, millions have died, 10s of millions have lost their homes, stability, security, dignity, and humanity. Despite all the destruction these extreme views have caused, momentum is increasing. Their voices are getting louder and louder, and their battlefields are the backyards, schools, and hospitals of the moral majority. Where are the voices of the moral majority? Have they surrendered and accepted their fate? Have they given up and following extremists like blind sheep?

I am a part of this silent moral majority. I have lived my life between Saudi Arabia, the country of birth and where I call home, and the United States of America, which I comfortably call my second home having lived there for over 15 years. I love both countries because they have together formed my personality, my character, and my values. There are many people like me. One foot in their home countries in the Muslim world, and another in the West. We don’t want to choose between being an Arab OR a Muslim OR an American. We are all in one. We have friends on both sides of the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans. Close friends. We see the positives and the negatives of both cultures. We can see through the propaganda trying to create divisions between us. We recognize that both cultures are made up mostly of good people. People who love their families, communities, countries. People who enjoy going to a good football game with friends. People who enjoy a good concert. I see the solution as quite different to the reset button.

My proposed solutions are 4-fold:

1. We Moderates must make it clear that all the loud extremistsDO NOT represent our point of view. All the Bill O’Reillys. Sean Hannitys and other extremists against Islam along with the Qaeda, ISIS, and other extremists against the West DO NOT represent me. I want them to stay away from me, my country and my kids. Let me make a decent living. Stop telling people what I believe and think. Stop hijacking Islam with their misperceptions and shallow understandings. It’s embarrassing hearing what little they know of Islam and then pretending to be a scholar. I want them to stop.

2. The moral majority need to speak up for themselves. They need to stand up on their soap box and shout at the top of their lungs who they really are, and what they truly want. They need to present the true picture. Talk. Call the TV and radio stations and voice their opinion. Write books, articles, and white papers. Write to their leaders. Offer ideas. Suggest improvements. Reach out to people who they have been told are the enemy. Get to know their kids. Get to know their dreams and aspirations. We will inevitably discover that we are all very similar. We are not the scary monsters we have been painted to be. Get to know them, and formulate their own opinion instead of blindly following the advice of extremists.

3. The most talented of the moral majority need to take action to fix things. The talented have been blessed with stable families, strong education, and amazing opportunities to make a positive change. They must grab such opportunities by the horns and make things better. Their legacy must be somehow making the world a better place.

4. We need to work WITHIN the current systems. I have seen the disastrous results of destroying the status quo and starting from scratch. It is a recipe for disaster. Alternatively, I have had firsthand experience of successfully driving change within the current system. I have witnessed how individual passion and hard work can drive widespread and sustainable change. I have also seen enough good intention from current leaders to believe that they truly want things to get better. Our current systems are not perfect, but Rome was not built in a day. Instead of pressing the reset button, I argue that intelligent members of the moral majority across the world should invest their efforts into making fixes within the current system.

This book isn’t an attempt to navigate the political landscape. That isn’t my expertise nor my passion. Instead, this book is a type of self-exploration on what I am going to do as a part of the moral majority. What I am going to do to work within the current system to out-voice and out-do the extremists. What I am going to do to make a positive social impact.

I started writing this book at age 45. This is what many people would call the golden decade of one’s life. I am happily married with 3 amazing kids. I have been well educated. I have financial security. I have a bit of wisdom and I am a ‘go-to’ guy for knowledge and experience in my community. I am healthy and full of energy. I have a solid group of friends who have my back. I think I have a pretty good relationship with God. I got my feet firmly planted on the ground. Alhamdulillah. I am now contemplating what’s next. How do I leverage my God-given skills and blessings to do more? Can I stand in front of my Creator one day and state with a clear conscious that I did my very best to help my fellow human being? Can I tell my grandchildren with pride that I used my gifts and blessings to defend the weak, help the underprivileged reach their full potential, fix issues I know I can fix. It feels as if everything in my life has been leading up to this point. All has been a training ground for my ultimate destiny. How am I supposed to utilize the privileges God has given me to help my fellow human being? Based on the current trend, things can get much worse unless we utilize our skills to make a positive change.

With so much chaos surrounding us, where would I start? I had recently been stuck in the mud. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what. I doubted my ability to make a dent. What could I do? I am only 1 person. I felt powerless, useless, paralyzed. This book has been a process to overcome the paralysis and start momentum. With this self-reflection, I have come up with a formula on how to live eternally happy.

This has been a well-kept secret for thousands of years. And I have uncovered the formula. I am ready to share it with you. I have broken the formula down into an easy to follow roadmap. All you have to do answer 5 key questions. These form the general outline of this book:

1. Who are you? A large portion of this book has forced me to decide who I am, what I stand for, and equally important is what I don’t stand for. Throughout my life, I have had experiences propelled on me to form my core values, test my character, and determine my internal compass. Writing this book has helped me internalize decisions I have made throughout my life sometimes sub-consciously. It has brought these decisions to the forefront. Lots of people have not yet grown comfortable with who they are. They are still conforming to what society wants them to be. Only when they understand and get comfortable with who they truly are will they reach their full potential.

2. What are you supremely good at? Everyone on earth is good at something. The trick is finding out what that something is. If you feel you don’t in fact believe you are supremely good at something, then an action plan needs to be develop to acquire a skill.

3. Who do you want to help and how? With so much chaos surrounding us, there are so many beneficiaries whom we can help. Orphans, refugees, unemployed, potential entrepreneurs, cancer patients, impoverished. Where should we focus? Where should we start? It all depends on our personal passion. Who holds a special place in our hearts? This is important to ensure our efforts are sustainable and don’t fade at the slightest obstacles. How are you going to apply your unique skills to help your chosen beneficiaries? Great at sales, then how about fundraising? Amazing at film making, then make a film about refugees. Logistics expert, then help in delivering aid to tsunami victims. Finance expert, then how about creating funds and endowments for the underprivileged? Everybody has an ability to help others in their own special way. It all needs good intentions.

4. What needs to be done to turn ideas into reality? Taking action is easier said than done. Intentions need to be clearly defined and announced to the world. What are our intentions? How will we make sure the world knows about them? We need to put together a strong team made up of productive critics, partners, employees, subject matter experts, and supporters. Who would you want on your Dream Team? This Dream Team would then put together the basic operational plan to turn ideas and plans into reality.

5. What is stopping you from jumping? Even with a clear vision, an operational plan, and a dream team to turn it into reality, many initiatives unfortunately never make it off the ground. There is a compelling Quran verse informing us that we have been chosen by God as his Khalifas (agents and inheritors) on Earth:

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I believe that each and every human being in history has been created by God to be His agent on Earth. Some of us have been blessed with more health, wealth, wisdom, and security. But all of us will be judged on how we invested such blessings. Our destiny is beyond eating, sleeping, fornicating, propagating, having a bit of fun, and then dying. Life is more than that. It has to be. If you believe you are God’s agent on earth empowered by Him to make positive change, then all you have to do is take that first step towards making the action plan come alive. You will be amazed how the Universe will work towards helping you along.

Making that jump requires us to overcome our fears. To do so requires we personify them. Imagine them as a person we need to kick out of our lives. We also need to imagine success and make it our best friend. We need to get in touch with the people we have chosen to help. Get to know them very well and make an emotional connection to them. We need to surround ourselves with ethical, intelligent, and inspiring people to celebrate successes, fuel our passion, and help us persevere through the inevitable tough times.

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There it is! The 5 steps to eternal happiness. The secret formula to living with a permanent smile on your face. How to be forever content. What do I want in return for revealing this secret? I simply ask you to share it with others. If you agree to these terms, then read on.

This book is really not intended for self-praise or making money or kicking off an election campaign. It’s a thank you to my parents whom instilled in me critical values and characteristics. My parents have sacrificed a lot to raise me, and the story I tell in this book hopefully gives them reassurance that their investment in me will someday pay off. It’s a thank you to my wife whom has supported every endeavor I have pursued during our marriage. Not once has she questioned my judgment. Instead she has given me the confidence and space to pursue them. It’s a thank you to my friends and business partners whom have supported me with ideas, time, effort, and much needed criticism when needed. It’s a thank you to my brother and sister whom have been a constant in my life and provided much needed stability. It’s a diary which I would like to pass on to my kids to help them get a head start on life.

Finally, I hope by writing this book it will inspire others to determine their ultimate destiny. How can each and every one of us fulfill their destiny to be God’s Khalifa on earth? We never really know. The best we can do is take an educated guess, and strive towards it as best we can. There will be obstacles and setbacks along the way, but climbing Kilimanjaro has taught me that we should take it 1 step at a time. Poli Poli is Tanzanian for making steady progress. We must have faith that we can do anything we want –as long as we have good intentions, strong willpower, and resilience. We are stronger than we think. After reaching our summits, we can hopefully look back on our lives with a sense of satisfaction that we truly gave our best.

Hopefully we will all benefit from this recipe for eternal happiness.

PART 1: WHO ARE YOU?

W ho are you? is one of my favorite WHO songs. Lead singer Roger Daltrey repeats this question throughout the song and then loses it a bit in the middle by yelling, Who the f@ * % are you! How many of us really spend the time to answer this simple question – or it’s equally important counterpart: who are we NOT? It’s by no means easy, but developing an answer is critical. We can’t help others if we don’t know who we are first.

Some would answer by regurgitating some demographics: I’m 45 years old, married with 3 children, Saudi, Muslim, an entrepreneur. Others would add some interests and hobbies; I’m a fan of Barcelona FC, a cross-fitness enthusiast, and I like reading, and painting. These provide the beginnings of an answer -- but we are much more than these superficial descriptions. We are made up of core values and beliefs which drive our behaviors. We have passions. We have ambitions and dreams. We may have a purpose in life.

How do we even begin to answer questions like, What are your core values and beliefs? What do you truly believe in? Who are we truly deep down? It hurts just thinking about it.

As our attention spans get shorter, we simply don’t spend the necessary time to contemplate, to reflect on our lives and what we truly want. Many of us are driving through life without a clear destination or even a map. Some of us simply got on a path because everyone else did, without knowing where it will take us. We need to go beyond the superficial definitions we have made for ourselves and ignore the boxes others have put us in. This is the only way to overlook or improve upon our faults and focus on what makes us truly happy.

There are 2 exercises you can undertake to help answer that significant question, who are you? The short version is on the next page, and can be completed over half a day. It is short but requires some intense, focused attention – and it should serve the purpose of helping you get a better grasp on your deeper sense of identity.

The longer version is admittedly more difficult – and it is to write your story. Pick a starting point and write as much as you can about your life; your ups and downs, your incredibly happy days and your miserably sad days. Go into boring details about each and every major event and moment in your life. Don’t worry about spelling mistakes or grammar. Write in whatever language you choose – more than one, if you want. Don’t worry about anyone else reading it. This is primarily for you.

This longer exercise will help you remember things buried deep in your sub-conscious. Your first memory. Incredible experiences with your mother or father. Fights with brothers. Jokes with sisters. Your first best friend. Your nemesis. Odds are that you’ll discover reasons for mysteries in your life. Why you are afraid of the dark. Why you love chocolate milk. You will laugh and you will cry. But by the end of the exercise, you will know yourself much better. You will have gone much further in answering the question of who you are.

For a long time, I struggled with this question myself; I didn’t know who I was. But having completed this exercise unconsciously over my entire life thus far, I have a much better idea. And I hope that by sharing my story it will encourage you to do the same. It hasn’t been easy for me because it has forced me to answer some pretty tough questions –mainly having to do with my own identity, capabilities, and interests. We go through life wanting to be more than who we are. That has a pretty negative effect on our self-esteem. I’ve gone through the majority of my adolescent life wanting to be Michael Jordan or Maradonna (the Argentinian football player and not the American pop singer). During my college days, I had Jim Morrison hand-painted on my room wall –I think because I longed for his complete lack of responsibility. But then he died an alcoholic. As a professional, I wanted to be CEO of Procter & Gamble. Only recently have I become content wanting to be Hani Khoja. Me.

SHORT EXERCISE:

Draw a line across the middle of a blank sheet of paper. This is the timeline of your life, and represents times when you felt neutral -- not too happy and not too sad. Label the left side of the timeline; the day I was born and the middle of the timeline; today. In between, go through your entire life and mark this timeline with all your major ups and downs. In what moments in your life can you recall feeling absolutely happy? Why? Where were you? Who was there? Be as explicit as possible. The happier you were, the higher the dot should be over the neutral time line.

Then do the same for all the significant times in which you were completely miserable. Unhappy. Depressed. What happened at these times? What caused your misery? The worse the experience, the lower it is below the timeline. Write down everything about that occurrence. Connect those dots to map out your life thus far. It will most likely look like a rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs and a lot of blah in between. Look for patterns on what consistently made you happy, and what made you sad.

Now mark the far right of the timeline: the day I died. Imagine yourself at your own funeral. You are listening to everyone pay their final respects. What would you like them to say about you? What are the characters and values you want to be remembered for? Do you want them to remember you as an amazing parent, child, or sibling? Owner or leader of an amazing business or government entity? Billionaire? Athlete? Who do you want to see at your funeral? Who would you want to feel sad with your departure? Statesmen and CEOs? Family and friends? Long lost friends?

Now develop a plan for in between today and the day I died to get you from today to the ideal ending. What bad habits do you need to eliminate? Who might you need to apologize to? What do you need to achieve? All these should