Hanging on to Hope: From Marriage to Divorce Thru Depression to Remarriage and What God Taught Me Along the Way

By Annette Newcomb

This is an incredibly beautiful story of hope and healing. Annette is a remarkable woman who knows the depth of pain, yet with Gods help and perseverance she and her family were able to make it through a very tough time. I was absolutely inspired by reading this book.

-Jim Burns, PhD. President, HomeWord

Author of Confident Parenting, Creating an Intimate Marriage

A remarkable story told with courage, vulnerability, honesty, hope, and forgiveness. So proud of you and Adam, and the work you both have sought and found in and through the journey of Gods truth, grace, healing, and restoration. Well done, good and faithful servants. This is a powerful message!

-Denny Bellesi, Pastor Emeritus Coast Hills Church

Co-Author of The Kingdom Assignment with wife Leesa Bellesi

I am very honored to have actually witnessed the growth, healing and love that occurred between this godly couple. This true story will help others who are struggling with lifes challenges not to lose hope and recognize that there is no obstacle too big for God.

-Gary Jeandron, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Cancer, financial losses, health issues, unemployment, loss of family members, separation, divorce, depression, mental illness, remarriage.

The enemy throws all he can at us to get us off course. Hanging On to Hope chronicles one persons journey through lifes trials and how God brought her through each one. This same God can bring you through whatever you are facing as well.

HANGING ON TO HOPE will help you see that God CAN and WILL see you to the other side of the trial you are facing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 30, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512735772

Annette Newcomb

Annette Newcomb is a wife and mother to three grown sons, Kenny, Brendan and Tyler. She and Adam have been married, divorced and remarried for over 30 years and live in the Southern California Desert. They are passionate about coming alongside those desiring to strengthen their marriages with the Hope of Jesus Christ. In her spare time she likes playing tennis, scrapbooking and reading a good book on the beach.

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Copyright © 2016 Annette Newcomb

Cover Design by Brendan Newcomb

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Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-3578-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3577-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016904913

WestBow Press rev. date: 09/22/2016

To Adam: You’ve stood by me through the best of times and also through the absolute worst of times. There are not adequate words to articulate how grateful I am to God for your constant encouragement, support and never ending love.

You are my density. I love you Babe.

To: Kenny, Brendan and Tyler: The joy, purpose and meaning you have brought to my life through the privilege of being your Mom can never be fully calculated.

I love you all from the very depth of my soul.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Hope in the Beginning

Chapter 2 Hope through Prayer

Chapter 3 Hope Through the Word

Chapter 4 Hope Through Healing

Chapter 5 Hope in the Form of an Angel

Chapter 6 Hope Through Trials

Chapter 7 Hope Through Reconciliation

Chapter 8 Hope Through Forgiveness

Chapter 9 Hope Through Acceptance

Chapter 10 The Ultimate Hope – Jesus Christ

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are several people who made this book come to life. The first would have to be my husband. He encouraged me from the time I was still so deep in my depression I could hardly think of putting pen to paper until the time it was completed. He continued to say, People need to hear your story. So credit #1 goes to him. I would also like to thank Jim Burns for being the first author/friend who read a very rough uncompleted first draft of Hanging on to Hope and told me it actually had merit. That was more encouraging that I can even say and made me think I could actually do this.

Special thanks to my sister-in-law Jan for allowing me to camp out at her dining room table for several days in order to complete the entire second half of the book. I so appreciated the quiet and needed it to complete the book. Thanks also to Miss Debby, Daisy and Tyler for going over every page of the draft for typos, grammar errors and sentence structure. Your intelligence is very much appreciated. Thanks also to Kenny for letting me borrow your Mac Book for the duration of my project.

Lastly, thank you to the staff of Westbow Press for taking my story and actually putting it in print form. What a remarkable process. You took what was just a dream and made it into something we could actually hold in our hands. Adam and I are forever grateful.

INTRODUCTION

I am blessed to be a part of two forever families. First is my heavenly family that I became a part of on October 22, 1978. This is when I gave my life to Christ and accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, just shortly after my 16th birthday. It is by far the best decision I’ve made in my whole life.

The second is my family here on earth. I am blessed to be married for 29 years (minus one, more on that later) to my husband Adam. We have three incredible grown sons, Kenny, Brendan and Tyler. One of the things I love about our family is that we are all movie buffs and have a few family favorite TV shows as well. Seinfeld is one of our favorites. In fact my son Brendan is somewhat of a Seinfeld Rainman. You can name just about any scene in a Seinfeld episode and he can tell you what season and what episode it came from. It’s actually kinda freakish. I mean who has that information stored in their brain? I bet Jerry himself couldn’t do that. So there you go.

There are also several movies whose one-liners have woven themselves into the fabric of our family identity. So there you go is from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which Tyler stated if we had to watch one more time before he left for college he was gonna freak out. We are also huge Tom Hank’s fans. Forrest Gump has a ton of lines we use all the time and I could also watch That Thing You Do over and over. Bonnie Hunt’s Return to Me is also a family favorite as is Dave, and we’re walking, we’re walking and we’re stopping. We also love clean comedians. Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan are probably our favorites. Tyler just the other night sat down next to me on the couch with a mini drumstick I had picked up at the store. Within 30 seconds we were repeating Brian Regan’s whole ice cream serving size sketch and were out loud laughing. It’s hard for any of us to go throughout a day without using some line from a favorite movie, TV show or comedian right at the appropriate moment.

When I first got the idea for this book, or should I say after my husband’s prompting of me for about a year to write it all down, I was trying to think of a title. Adam suggested I pick a theme that would run throughout the entire book. Nothing came to me until one day I happened to be watching the Shawshank Redemption on TV. Near the end of the movie Red reads the letter Andy left him in the tin box under the rocks. It said, Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and nothing good ever dies. I thought, that’s it! That’s the theme of this whole story, God’s story of how He has worked in and through my life over the past 36 years…HOPE. Ultimately hope in Christ to get me through all the difficulties and trials in my life; hope through prayer, through the Word, through healing, forgiveness, reconciliation and acceptance.

It is my earnest prayer that the pages that follow bring you hope regardless of where you are in your life’s journey right now. And away we go, from the movie Grease. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

CHAPTER 1

HOPE IN THE BEGINNING

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

The two saddest, darkest days of my life have been April 7, 2011 and March 13, 2012. April 7th was the point of no return day in my then 26-year marriage and March 13th was the day when I, in a state of severe depression and anxiety, tried to take my own life. Amazingly, unbelievably, and in spite of myself, God in His tender mercy and grace brought me through it all. He brought me, as promised, to the other side. What follows is not so much my story as it is His story. It is a story about how He has walked with me throughout my journey and what He has taught me along the way. So let’s start at the beginning.

The first time I experienced true hope was October 22, 1978. It was a Sunday night youth rally at my church, the First Baptist Church of Van Nuys, California. Don Sutton of the LA Dodgers was the speaker. Unfortunately, I can’t remember what he talked about, but what I do remember as clear as day came at the end of his talk. Our youth pastor Steve, asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord and if so to raise your hand. Everyone’s head was bowed, and he would then lead us in the prayer of salvation. I knew with absolute certainty that was what I wanted to do. For a few months previous to this Pastor Steve had been explaining to us in our youth group meetings about God’s love and how it was unconditional. God didn’t love me if I did something right or because of something I did or didn’t do. He just loved me period, and He gave His life so that I could have a personal relationship with God the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

I raised my hand and prayed for Jesus to forgive me of my sin, come into my life, and begin to mold me into the person He has called me to be. We have been on that journey ever since, for the past 36 years. My friend Linda was sitting next to me that night and she squeezed my hand and prayed with me. Afterward she said to me, I thought you already were a believer, and I said, Nope. I was one of those goody-two-shoes people, straight A student, teacher’s pet, and Momma’s little helper at home who very rarely ever got into trouble. Sometimes I was made fun of at school for the above reasons. By all outward appearances, I didn’t need a Savior according to the world’s view. But I knew I had a hole in my heart a mile wide that only God could fill. At that moment I accepted my Savior, I received new life, both here on earth and eternally in heaven with my Father, the Lord God Almighty. This is the foundation of my hope.

Shortly after that we got a new youth pastor, Dave Griewe. Pastor Dave took me under his wing. I became an officer in our youth group and met with Pastor Dave and five other officers each week as he taught us what it meant to be a Christian. I was first introduced to scripture memory and a little workbook called The New Christian Survival Kit. I still have