Alot

By Tom Parham

My friend the late Hilton Yow and I talked often, mostly about sports, his beloved daughters, his really bad hip, and religion. Hilton was a strong born again. My dad was a Southern Baptist Minister.

Hilton got my attention on TV. While channel-hopping, I spied him, next in line to be healed. The would-be healer called Hilton up. He put it like this: Come on up, sir, and tell us what is wrong.

Im thinking hip all the way. But just as Hilton started to speak, the healer admonished my friend, No, dont say anything. Ill tell you where it is!

My initial thought was that that was a little risky, even for a healer.

Without a word from Hilton, the reverend began to trace with his forefinger parts of Hiltons lower face, his neck, and his upper shoulders.

He looked confidently at Hilton and suggested, Im getting it, arent I?

Hilton looked chagrined yet still hopeful, adding this, his only comment: Well, no. But go ahead and get all of it while you are in there!

My first attempt at writing a book (Play Is Where Life Is [2007]) included a variation of this true story.
But I didnt get it all.
Allthis time includes parts of Play Is Where Life Is that bear repeating. And large portions of a blog (www.tomparham.wordpress.com), which has nearly one hundred articles on a variety of subjects.

With the help of Johnnie Bonehead Dennis, I produced Nearly Fifty in 2013. A coffee-tablestyled book, I tried to portray almost fifty years of friendship among a group of buddies who held the first of these gatherings with a Super Bowl party, the first Super Bowl. We havent missed a year, Classic Americana and friendship. Included is a history in text and photos.

I have to apologize for the blog guide. I tried to set it up myself, and that didnt work too well. The best I can offer is that all of the articles can eventually be found on the blog. In this book, I put the blog articles used in the text in the text order they are used. Additional blog articles that seemed appropriate for this book then appear as a group at the end of the text.

That confuses even the author. Now to piss you off.

There are two parts (A and B) that are new. Part A deals with serious stuff, while Part B is much lighter and hopefully fun stuff.

The old coach in me couldn't resist several new tennis thoughts. As well as considerable classic information some may not have seen.
Getting it all is tough work. Some are serious as a heart attack. Some are trivial. No one will get it all. Or like it all, but you may not like all my music, but stay with me. Ill find you (Ray Charles).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503559073

Tom Parham

Tom Parham, a lifelong North Carolinian, retired from a career of teaching and coaching in 2004. As a college tennis coach, Parham amassed a record of 597 wins and 195 losses and has been inducted into ten athletic halls of fame. His teams won three national championships, and he was selected National Tennis Coach of the Year four times. A professor emeritus at Elon, Parham was awarded the Elon Medallion, the University’s highest honor, in 2004. He served as an athletic director at Atlantic Christian College and as associate athletic director at Elon University. Parham received the Order of the Long Leaf Pine in 1979. He resides with his wife, Margaret, in Emerald Isle, North Carolina.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Tom Parham.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Cover photo by John Desmone.

Rev. date: 05/12/2015

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

710899

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

Serious Stuff

On Politics

On Religion

Race

On War

Wrapping Up

Humor

Hoi Toiders (High Tiders)

On Gambling

Succinctly Put

Family

More Country

Dark Humor

Sports

On Sports

David And Goliath

Entertainment

My Stash

Pilfered

Tennis Angel

Clyde Limpton’s Job

Russell’s Letter

Nearly Fifty

Powell Tennis Center

Quotes, Jokes And Funny Folks

Thornquist And Sportmanship

Beautifying Eastern Nc (Unpublished Letter)

Outliers

The Jukebox

Golf Putting And Free Throws

The Nature Of A Coach

Danny Morrison And Carolina Panthers

Rome Burning?

The Sport Gene By David Epstein

Thoughts For Young Coaches

Coaching The Green Jays

Looking For Lizards

Chateau Low Rent

Dishonor Students

Hall Of Fame Bbq

Top Hot Dog

The Pier

A New Day

Game Over

Doping

Hackalooski

Trustworthy Tools

New Years Resolution 2014

High Handicap Geezer Golf

Parham’s Ideal Book List

Duke Vs Carolina

The Elimination Monologues (54)

College Ratios: Male To Female

The Digital Divide (29)

Rain Check (94)

About The Author

PREFACE

My friend, the late Hilton Yow and I talked often, mostly about sports, his beloved daughters, his really bad hip, and religion. Hilton was strong born again. My Dad was a Southern Baptist Minister.

Hilton got my attention on TV. While channel-hopping I spied him next in line to be healed. The would be healer called Hilton up. He put it like this: Come on up, Sir, and tell us what is wrong.

I’m thinking HIP all the way. But just as Hilton started to speak, the healer admonished my friend, "…no, don’t say anything. I’ll tell you where it is!’

My initial thought was that was a little risky even for a healer.

Without a word from Hilton, the Reverend began to trace with his forefinger, parts of Hilton’s lower face, his neck and upper shoulders.

He looked confidently at Hilton and suggested, …I’m getting it aren’t I?

Hilton looked chagrined, yet still hopeful adding this, his only comment: Well, no. But go ahead and get all of it while you are in there!

My first attempt at writing a book (PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS-2007) included a variation of this true story.

But I didn’t get it all.

ALL— this time includes parts of PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS that bear repeating. And large portions of a blog (www.tomparham.wordpress.com), that has nearly 100 articles on a variety of subjects.

With the help of Johnnie Bonehead Dennis, I produced NEARLY FIFTY in 2013. A coffee-table styled book I tried to portray almost fifty years of friendship among a group of buddies who held the first of these gatherings with a super bowl party, the first super bowl. We haven’t missed a year, Classic Americana and friendship. Included is a history in text and photos.

I have to apologize for THE BLOG GUIDE. I tried to set it up myself and that didn’t work too well. The best I can offer is that all of the articles can eventually be found on the blog. In this book I put the blog articles used in the text, in the text order they are used. Additional blog articles that seemed appropriate for this book, then appear as a group, at the end of the text.

That confuses even the author. Now to piss you off.

There are two parts (A and B) that are new. Part A deals with serious stuff, while Part B is much lighter and hopefully fun stuff.

Getting it all is tough work. Some is serious as a heart attack: Some is trivial. No one will get it all. Or like it all, but….

"YOU MAY NOT LIKE ALL MY MUSIC, BUT STAY WITH ME. I’LL FIND YOU. (RAY CHARLES).

INTRODUCTION

I am trying to read Stephen Hawkings’ A Brief History of Time. Too much for me, but I did read the conclusion. The following is pretty clear:

Then we shall all, philosophers, scientists, and just ordinary people, be able to take part in the discussion of the question of why it is that we, and the universe exist. If we find the answer to that, it would be the triumph of human reason…for then we would know the mind of God.

Pretty heavy! Why write another book? Somewhere between Hawkings’ noble suggestion and the fact that the winter of 2013-2014 was horrible weather, I needed a project.

I wrote PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS in 2007. Recently I have been able to satisfy some strange urge to write by way of a blog (www.tomparham.wordpress.com).

One of these articles, THE COACH AND THE CLOUD, perhaps is my best attempt to claim altruistic purposes.

THE COACH AND THE CLOUD (July 06, 2012)

But I’m trying…I’m trying real hard to be a shepherd. --Jules to Ringo, Pulp Fiction

My two sons work in technology. They have made me aware of the cloud. Summing up my understanding, the cloud is a modern, idealistic, even utopian way to gain free access to information. Sort of like the internet on steroids, or for those of us on the other side of the digital divide, a giant free library in space.

Prior attempts to impart what I know included Play is Where Life Is, my best seller of 2007. It was such a best seller that my garage had oodles left over. I have given many copies away. I have learned to question readers, knowing how to ascertain whether they have actually read their gift, or parts of it. The book includes my conversation with a revered coach, the late Jim Verdieck of Redlands University in California. I once asked Coach Verdieck if he had written down his voluminous knowledge of tennis. He said No. What happens if you die? I asked, respectfully. If I die, it dies was his answer…one of the few times I disagreed with the legendary coach.

There is an article on my blog entitled Mentors. It describes how one with a thirst for knowledge in any arena might best learn. Maybe I am a little naive about the drive to learn that exists out there. I have had only one college coach ask for my advice since 2004. After an hour he said, Coach, I’m supposed to meet someone at the local bar. One hour of learning a profession? My angel wife, Margaret, recently made All Volunteer. She and I cannot list all the people she helps, or has helped, gratis. Angel she is, Angel I’m not.

Sometimes people don’t want what you have got. Sometimes you can’t give it away—Bob Dylan from Floater

There are certainly thinkers, way above my capabilities. Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Merely Everything speculates on the theory of the big bang approximately 14, 000 Billion years ago.

Evidence collected from 14 billion years ago, and we still can’t see that wars are wrong!

We seem to be closer to Marlon Brando than Stephen Hawkings: keep trying to find why we are here? And … know the mind of God! Brando was asked what his later life thoughts and beliefs might be. Marlon shrugged and said … I think on my deathbed my final thought will be what the fuck was that all about?

Most of my life my primary passion was watching the ball bounce. Upon my retirement, maybe vainly, I thought I knew something unique about the game of tennis, which was my career profession. Specifically I knew about small college tennis, rather than professional or Division 1 college tennis. Convinced there are all kinds of levels of play, I tried to help with the levels of my expertise.

There were also some personal stories, humor, and non-tennis observations in the earlier book.

I have included many of the articles I wrote in the aforementioned blog. There is a guide to the blog, and I have reordered them to make more sense, in the context of this book. (# 73, The Guide).

There are quotes, jokes, and funny folks, favorite forms of entertainment, i.e. books, movies, TV documentaries, etc. that I found interesting, and that I recommend. But, as I questioned whether my level of thinking was a worthwhile effort, I felt compelled to address areas that appear to be quite troublesome.

Maybe my being retired forced me to confront these concerns. Until this time my career and my family consumed my thinking and efforts.

Anything but a writer, I consulted THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE, by Strunk and White. Please understand my amateur editing and typing attempts.

Maybe the glitches don’t matter as much as Strunk and White’s final advice: Your whole duty as a writer is to please, satisfy yourself, and the true writer always plays to an audience of one.

Now, as a grandparent and 73 years old, maybe this level of thought needs to be represented.

Granted not a high-level, but nevertheless, mine.

• "There’s a big gaping hole in my chest where my heart was,

And a whole in the sky where God used to be.

My American dream fell apart at the seams,

You tell me what it means; you tell me what it means.

Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan (HEARTLAND).

SERIOUS STUFF

Politics, Religion, Race, Poverty, Education, and War.

A friend of mine suggested that I was politically a liberal. Truly I have not thought of myself as political. In my college days, a fine professor, Dan McFarland, said there were really four political parties in America: Liberal Democrats, Conservative Democrats, Liberal Republicans, and Conservative Republicans. My guess is like most Americans, I am a blend. If liberal means free, or open, or excepting of individual differences, or generous, then that seems accepting to me. I do not think one can be … so open-minded that your brain falls out. Therefore, caution, respect for tradition, and many conservative approaches are often ideas that appeal to me also. Haste and waste are not conservative in my thinking.

So, probably I am a Conservative Democrat. Okay with me!

It appears to me that politics and religion are a lot alike in that they often splinter into different groups. The current tea party Republicans are certainly different from blueblood Republicans. And it seems each threatens the other more than the opposition. My guess is the tea party will do more damage to Gov. Chris Christie than the Democrats.

I know the North Carolina people and politicians I was proud of were considered either liberal or Progressive (Bill Friday, Terry Sanford, Jim Hunt, and the like). But I also revered Sam Ervin. Jesse Helms was one I felt represented the mean-spirited segment of our state’s people who were frightening and all too real. And often race was the issue.

I know that the other side feels just as strongly that I am wrong. Perhaps only the Civil War represented a more divisive time in America.

It appears that the 2000–2008 (Bush 2 administrative years) caused us to choose sides. And it seems that feelings were so deep that once committed to their view, very few were willing to listen, much less alter their stance. Winning the argument seems more important than learning the truth of the matter.

• …you are right from your side and I’m right from mine. ONE TOO MANY MORNINGS —Dylan.

Where do your strong beliefs come from? Nature or nurture? Choice or chance? Having grown up as the son of a Southern Baptist minister much of my early influences came from my parents and the church and it’s Community. I was in the church for various sermons and programs three or four days a week. For a youngster there were some pretty heavy questions. Heaven and hell? Right and wrong? Bible verses, teachers, religion from all angles.

PART A - SERIOUS STUFF

• … you can observe a lot just by watching–Yogi Berra.

Anything that begins that early and with such intensity has got to firmly implant ideas. One has to mull over a lot when your beloved Father is the person at the pulpit. Not only that, my Mom was the choir director. My blog article (48) entitled FOR BAPTISTS ONLY HYMNN TEST was a fun venture. Having listened to church music so many hours these songs and their lyrics are ingrained in my head. If you are not a Baptist you probably will not do well on this test. But for those who sat, sang, and listened repeatedly to these jewels, you will be amazed at your own recall. I was.

THE FOR BAPTISTS ONLY HYMN TEST

(Feb. 02, 2013)

Many people may not know that Coach Parham’s father was a Baptist minister. Tom spent many hours of his youth in a Baptist Church listening to hymns. Here’s a fun game for people who have shared that experience and want to test their memory of old Baptist hymns.

Match correct hymn phrase with the correct hymn title. There are two parts.

PART ONE

Titles:

1. _____ There Is a Fountain

2. _____ In the Garden

3. _____ Take My Life, and Let It Be Consecrated.

4. _____ Love Devine, All Loves Excelling

5. _____ Amazing Grace

6. _____ Blest Be the Tie

7. _____ Take Time to Be Holy

8. _____ When We All Get to Heaven

9. _____ America the Beautiful

10. _____ Abide with Me

11. _____ O God, Our Help in Ages Past

12. _____ Spirit of the Living God

13. _____ Come, Thou Almighty King

14. _____ Standing on the Promises

15. _____ He’s got the Whole World in His Hands

16. _____ Revive Us Again

17. _____ We Are Climbing Jacob’s Ladder

18. _____ I Love to Tell the Story

19. _____ He Leadeth me!

20. _____ Are You Washed In the Blood

21. _____ My Jesus, I Love Thee

22. _____ Holy Bible, Book Devine

23. _____ How Firm a Foundation

24. _____ I Am Thine, O Lord

25. _____ Sweet Hour of Prayer

26. _____ My Country ’Tis of Thee

Phrases:

A. Take my feet, and let them be Sweet & Beautiful for Thee

B. And sinners, plunged beneath that flood, lose all their guilty stains.

C. Land of the pilgrims’ pride

D. Help us to praise: Father, all glorious O’er all victorious

E. Glory in the highest, I will shout & sing.

F. But I long to rise in the arms of faith, and be Closer Drawn to Thee

G. What more can He say, than to you He Hath said

H. In seasons of distress & grief, my soul has often found relief

I. Mine to tell me whence I came; Mine to teach me what I am

J. If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

K. Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing Pow’r?

L. His faithful follower I would be, For by His hand

M. Our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal Home!

N. Hallelujah! Thine the glory. Hallelujah Amen.

O. Break me, melt me, mold me, fill me.

P. Twill be my theme in glory.

Q. Every round goes higher, higher, soldiers of the cross

R. "When we’ve been there ten thousand years bright shining as the