Canceled

By Jessica Reed

Casey Williams is a high functioning addict with a history of mental illness. Eclipsing her addiction and illness is success. She attends an elusive honors college with a full time merit scholarship. She remains a blur of unknown circumstances; however, as she succumbs to the stigma and shame her family and their trust fund imposed upon her. That is, until one night she is confronted about her addiction and vanishes. It's up to her friends to help find the real Casey and set her free.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543438338

Jessica Reed

Jess Reed lives and works in Seattle, Washington, with her cat, Luna. She migrated from the sunny sandy beaches of California to find refuge under the cover of cloud and rain. Her favorite pass time is running in all weathers followed by a strong cup of tea and a good book

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Jessica Reed.

              ISBN:               Softcover         978-1-5434-3834-5

                                      eBook                978-1-5434-3833-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/24/2017

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

703619

Contents

Part 0

Part I

Part II

Part III

About the Author

Part 0

Thursday, April 9th, 2015

I’ve got a secret, I slurred with a smile. He smirked and nudged my shoulders so that I smiled harder. A cool coastal breeze ruffled our layers as the sky furnished in hues of orange and red lit a darkening sky. I could feel the goosebumps along my exposed arms tickle as my auburn length hair whipped across my face.

You stole the vodka, he finished and took a swig from the bottle we shared between us. All I could see was his silhouette. His sheer black hair lost nothing without light including its short spiked length. The bottle was a third empty but David had only taken two shots. The breeze didn’t falter and I saw his open button up navy shirt billow like a flag.

Nuts! I retorted. I could barely contain myself and fumbled on the retaining wall separating the beach from the grass. My heels dug into the sand and I felt the cool envelope my toes.

The party wasn’t that tame. We could have stayed, he started, passing me the bottle.

But we would only have half the fun. All I need is the ocean and a few distilled drinks.

You’re nuts, he said with a smile. I laughed and looked away before taking another shot. For all the talk David was, he preferred simple interaction to that of raves and heavily dense parties. We were a match made for each other. I detested drinking in public and he detested the average public. Our similarities fit us well.

I have three lives! I stated into the cool night air. I grabbed at David’s billowing shirt and fell into his chest. I wrapped my arms under his shirt and felt my hands connect at the bottle. My goosebumps continued and I felt alive at the ecstasy of the chill of the night, the lapse in light and the fill of vodka.

Casey, you’re drunk, he said rather plainly, wrapping his arms around me.

So be it! I exclaimed. I didn’t have time or need for anything but concise rebuttal.

At this rate you’ll probably pass out from sheer exasperation.

Let’s go someplace no one’s ever been before. I started with a wide smile, letting go of David’s chest.

You mean like a galaxy far far away? he asked, steadying me in front of him. I gazed up at his black eyes as deep as coal and felt two hands in my own: warm, steady, sure.

Home? I seceded with a smile.

Let’s go, he said. I grabbed David’s left hand in mine as my top whirled around me and David’s shirt brushed against my arm. I remember picking his shirt for him just before we left. It was either navy or black. He looked smarter in blue.

David drove this 2009 silver Honda Civic with a faux leather finish and manual settings. He started the ignition and soon we were on Highway 101 North to 217 heading towards UC Santa Barbara.

The entrance to UCSB is an event in itself. A host of palm trees adorn a roundabout just beyond the entrance gates. The whole thing sits atop a cliff with the Pacific Ocean to the left. The campus is not that large and can be circumscribed with ease. What matters is the small city of Isla Vista just north of campus where upper classmen and faculty live.

We followed 217 passed the gates and around the bus roundabout lined with palm trees taking the first exit right to snake alongside the east border of campus. We followed the roads and drove towards Manzanita Village, my dorm. He parked in the small load and unloading circle at the edge of campus between Isla Vista and Manzanita Village. My dorm sat in a cluster of buildings around courtyards. Some dorms faced the ocean while others simply looked over the grass or even another building. My lucky state of affairs had me watching the grass grow.

How can you have three lives? he asked with an air of amusement knowing I was so wasted I wouldn’t remember it by tomorrow morning.

I’ve mastered regeneration the way Dr. Who masters time and space into wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, I retorted swinging our hands in rhythm with my faltering steps. With each wobble, David steadied me and kept us on course.

Casey. OK.

David and I had known each other for about three years when he sat down next to me in a GE history class. I had sandwiched myself against the wall in the back near a window. The sun was harsh and my hangover for the first day of school was rewarded by the fates of karma.

Here was this skinny Asian boy wearing a fleece jacket and dark wash jeans with vans. His hair was the sheer black it always was. And here I was, small and unnoticeable. I had shoulder length brown hair at the time and stand at 5’ 3". My face is round and easily hidden in a room full of Caucasians. Funnily enough, I can barely tell my own self out of a line up. I might perhaps lead myself to conviction of a crime by identity theft. I noticed how he slumped over his table and the way he kept his gaze towards the ground. Somehow his lack of eye contact and uneasiness displayed a sincerity most people lacked. I liked him anyways. We were 18 then.

So like any self-respecting math major I leaned over and said, I forgot my pen. He offered up his and took to pencil instead. All through lecture we shifted in unspoken tones until he asked, Where are you from? under the hushed ruffle of slides that flushed past us in a way only a historian could enjoy.

Hancock Park.

Like the president?

No, city. Dumbass. And that was it. We spent the rest of lecture in solitary confinement until the clocks struck 10:20 and we all gathered our things to leave. We fumbled with our belongings until most of the class had left and then David asked me a question, Wanna grab some lunch?

Sure. And we were in friendom but not friendzoned.

The walk through darkness was a tough one and I held David’s hand as we ambled through the darkness on my way home. David didn’t wouldn’t just drop me off and let me get lost. Manzanita is a complex. As we passed the flickering lights of the Carrillo dining common, I felt a small shuffle of a breeze stir my hair and cause me to shiver. David only grasped my hand tighter and took the bottle I was carring so that I could steady myself with both hands on his right arm. It was firm and solid like rock.

Number three isn’t so bad, is it? he asked. My goosebumps faded away and I could see clearly without hair brushing my face. I could see the intent purpose of David, his hand tightly wound in mine.

It could be worse, I smiled and we left it at that still holding hands.

We arrived at my dorm fifteen minutes later only to find Kaly spread out on a yoga mat in downward dog. She had a great ass and David thought so too. We were in a trifecta of mutual agreement. We stood for a moment as she resumed child’s pose. She pretended not to see us as David closed the door.

Hey, I muttered as I dropped my keys on the floor and shivered in the warmth. David and I had let go several moments ago as we ambled into the building. My dorm was on the second floor near the stairs for easy access of safety in case of an emergency. I feel this went both ways.

Kaly and I were given a triple sized room as a double and as such arranged the furniture so that we mounted our beds, put desks underneath and stuck a double seated couch in between along with a mini fridge. We didn’t have need for a tv nor the cable for it. Everything was beige, except for the couch which was blue.

We let living room lamps ignite the corners of our square and refused to live under the harsh omnipresent glow of yellowing fluorescence. I glanced around from our built in dressers I managed to adorn with paper made flowers to the patchy green rug we kept in center of the room. My desk was littered with open books and papers while Kaly managed to file her work away in the provided drawers underneath.

Hey Kaly, David said out as she took standing position. Kaly was my roommate since freshman year.

Where’ve you been? she asked staring at my keys on the floor. They fell with a small clatter. We had a peg on our beds for keys but the floor was our own built in shelf.

Party and beach after. Party was dull. I answered. I felt a rush of fatigue overwhelm me. I eyed the blue couch under the window and the spindle woman in front of it.

Hit the beach with a bottle of vodka under the sunset, David finished with a shrug. He grasped at my arm and tried steadying me as I faltered towards Kaly.

Romantic, Kaly stated. It was common knowledge David had been dating Macy since sophomore year and that my level of affection for David stopped abruptly before romance. What Macy and Kaly and pretty much anyone thought happened to be an assumption and nothing more. We were platonic soul mates and nothing more.

Stoic, he replied.

Perspective, she finished. But she knew anyways.

Hear from Will yet? He asked as I moved to the couh and David let go of me.

No… He has a midterm coming up, Kaly said in a rather offhanded manner.

The quarter just started.

He’s the hermit type. David stopped there knowing not to ask any more questions after a lie.

Well, I’ve delivered Casey in one piece. Have a good night, he said walking out the door with a small tilt of his head towards both Kaly and myself.

Kaly was my mismatched partner in crime as we decided after the first week of living together. She hailed from the great state of Michigan and loved the ocean more than water itself, which is saying something. She was a scholarship kid in The College of Letters And Sciences like me but differed by 1 degree. I was also a part of the College of Creative studies working towards a degree in education.

She was about 126 pounds if I had to guess just by her jeans size but she weighed 132. She was a woman of miracles. Kaly has long brown hair like mine but it curls and forms in such a way that magic happens. You would think mousse goes a long way but in reality, it’s all God given talent. What a lucky bitch. My hair was about as straight as a flag pole. Her redeeming qualities came in her kindness. She was really one of a kind.

My first experience with Kaly was at the Carrillo dining commons the day she arrived starting our partnership in crime. It was our second day we stole three apples and a plate. Since then our dining crimes have grown as our appetites did not fit within the allotted times they give one to eat. What happens if you need a snack at 3:02 on a Monday afternoon and you’d rather it be a meal than a bar from a rectangular apparatus meant to dispense food.

So our crime spree began.

So David, huh? Where was the party at? she asked as a I deflated. My nice top had wrinkles and felt slightly rough infused with the salt air from the ocean.

A small house party in the hills of SB near State St. Strictly for young adults of all ages. As I spoke I sat on the couch. Stole some vodka, got drunk on the beach and came home. Typical Tuesday.

Want to join me for some yoga? she asked, resuming downward dog. I had seen Kaly go so far as touch her toes to her head and had no desire to join her in such feats. I could barely keep my feet straight most days. I felt as if I had invested the time in all the hangovers amassed I would be a doctorate by now.

Water. I did my workout, I moaned.

Of course.

I picked up one of our free bowls and filled it with Cap’n Crunch. I walked over to our mini fridge and completed the couple. In between mouthfuls I asked, Here from Will yet?

Not yet, she sighed. Will was Kaly’s boyfriend. They were the product of what was becoming common in my universe, couples sticking together. He moved from Michigan when he found out she received a scholarship. He decided on Pepperdine, a fine private school SoCal choice. And so they visited on weekends. Kaly is so bright she need not try and still succeed and so her relationship as with all things in her life just clicked. Just by watching them you knew they were going to get married.

The thing about Kaly and Will is that they fought, constantly. Not in an abusive You Need Me! way, but in a I need you to go pick up some waffles for me kind of way, if you know what I mean. No, you don’t. Which happened to be endearing when they weren’t yelling down each other’s throats.

He has a midterm he’s cramming for and I might not get to see him til the 1st, of May 2015, that is. That’s like three weeks