Goodbye Forever: Notes from the Great Adventure

By Elizabeth Palmer Mentzer and Mary Palmer Riordan

Goodbye Forever: Notes from the Great Adventure is a collection of letters --a lively account of the adventures of two sisters in Europe. They studied German in Vienna, hitchhiked down the Adriatic coast through what was then Yugoslavia, and spent three months as housemaids in a chalet in Gstaad, learning how to iron duvet covers and stoke coal furnaces in one of the most expensive ski areas in Europe. After a trip to an ordination in St. Peters in Rome, they met cousins in Denmark, and came home changed by their experiences.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9781491763728

Elizabeth Palmer Mentzer

Mary Riordan lives in Menomonie, Wisconsin with her husband, Dan. She worked in Student Services at the University of Wisconsin—Stout, administering services to students with disabilities and to the multicultural students, including advising the Black Student Union and the Hmong Stout Student Organization. She was a founding member of the Greenwood Players, a children’s theater company, and used her experience to create and tour plays with her students about their experiences to schools in western Wisconsin. Recently she volunteered as a Creative Writing teacher at the Dunn County Jail. This is her first book. Since tying her shoes in Gstaad, Beth has found a number of other places for this small task that give the same satisfaction. She has been fortunate to return to and live in Europe a number of times. She also lived in western Montana, where she taught history and college writing courses. In 2001, she returned to the Midwest, and she presently lives in Iowa City, Iowa, with her husband, Raymond. She taught at a local community college for a number of years. In addition to the first collaborative book effort, she serves on the board for a local school fund raiser, Run for the Schools. To stay active, she takes boxing lessons.

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Copyright © 2015 Mary P. Riordan & Elizabeth P. Mentzer.

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-6371-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-6372-8 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 05/20/2015

Contents

Foreword Mary

Acknowledgments Mary

Foreword Beth

Acknowledgements Beth

Chapter 1 Mary And Beth Abroad St. Paul To Vienna

Chapter 2 Vienna

Chapter 3 Vienna To Yugoslavia To Greece To Switzerland

Chapter 4 Gstaad, Switzerland

Chapter 5 Things Change At Chalet Valerie

Chapter 6 Switzerland To St. Paul

Notes On The Return

Afterword

Going To Gstaad Again

Acknowledgements

FOREWORD

Mary

Menomonie, Wisconsin

In 1966, when I was 24 and Beth was 22, we wanted a Great Adventure. We went to Europe, believing we would learn German in two months in Vienna, and then go to Switzerland and work for a year. We did have an adventure, just not the one we had naively imagined.

We wrote home religiously, partly because that habit is in our DNA (my mother wrote to her mother, and later, all of us, every week), and partly because, as time went on, we were lonesome. Mom saved all our letters, again a habit in the family. (My great-grandmother saved all of my grandfather’s letters to his family from Harvard. When I first retired, I typed those up, and had them printed and bound for family members. Now, when I started typing up my letters, I recognized many of the same impulses I had found in his. For example, he described his room, the countryside, the people, in order to share it with his family. We did the same thing.)

Almost all the letters are written on aerograms. When I said this to my 23-year-old nephew, he looked at me quizzically, eyebrows raised. Oh God, I said, You have no idea what those are, do you? He didn’t. So, in one way, the letters are relics. In another way, they are a lively, funny account of two girls, best of friends, who trusted that people were good and never met anyone to disabuse them of that trust.

Looking back, I think 1966 was something of a watershed. As Bob Dylan noted in a 2014 Rolling Stone interview, the early 60s were an extension of the 1950s. Mid-decade, that changed. Vietnam was worse, protests heated up, and the civil rights movement poked and prodded the nation’s conscience, reminding us of our brutal history and demanding that change, long overdue, occur. I needed to change too. Reading my letters now, I am bemused and embarrassed by my narrowness of mind: I am disgusted by men’s long hair; I use archaic terms for people with disabilities or people from Muslim countries; worse than archaic, the words and phrases are wrong. I am not that woman any more.

However, in some ways I am she, because I continue to believe, as I did then, and even in the face of evidence to the contrary, that people are good, or at least, mean to be. In other ways, I changed so much in those months. I came home ready to continue to look for adventure, to meet new people, to live in new places, to embrace new beliefs.

Going to Europe took me out of my comfort zone and held me there the whole time. I was trying to balance on uneven and changing terrain, and found, after while, that I liked doing that. I didn’t want to regress, so when I went home, and had to work to repay Bill Yale,¹ I did that, but I knew I didn’t want to stay in St. Paul. Dan asked why didn’t I come to North Carolina, and I thought, I’m there! Chapel Hill was new and different and really what I was looking for. (So was he … what I was looking for, I mean.) I didn’t want the path I could see unrolling in front of me—I never did—and Europe showed me there were options.

Oh—Beth and I have many names for each other, and for our brothers and sisters—another family trait. We also use words and phrases that the family used. Those nicknames and phrases are part of our family myth—sort of like the stories we tell. You’ll figure out who’s who, and what’s what, and in some cases, I have added explanations. Figuring those out is not essential to the main idea. Also part of our family myth—my mother liked, as one of her friends pointed out to her, to have her girls thin. When we were not, we had to talk about it. You will read evidence of that.

We drove to the east coast with Audrae, a friend who would be travelling with us. (Actually the trip was her idea.) Her fiance, Art, drove us to Harrisburg, where his family lived. Audrae would meet them, and Beth and I would go to Philadelphia to stay with our cousin, Michele. We would meet Audrae in New York and all three of us would go to the airport.

The Plan: (1) Live in Vienna for 2 months and learn German. (2) Travel south from Vienna, through what was then Yugoslavia and on to Greece. (3) Return to northern Europe, to Switzerland, and look for employment. (4) Work for several months, and then travel to France, Denmark and eventually back to Germany to fly home. We flew on Icelandic Airlines, the choice for students at the time.

Actual trip: Audrae changed her mind about staying, and wanted to go home to Art. We didn’t feel we were learning much German in Vienna. We left a month early, hitchiked as planned down the Adriatic coast, and took deck passage to Greece because we couldn’t go through Albania (cold war problems). After Greece we returned to Switzerland as planned, but then Audrae took off on her own, and Beth and I did actually find a job. We were housemaids until Christmas, but by then we were lonesome, so we left, travelled, and returned home in January.

One other note—some slang and phrases are really dated, but I left them alone. That is who I was in 1966.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Mary

My mother was the prime mover for our trip. She knew (she never said this but I realized why she pushed us) we were too comfortable where we were, and that our world had to grow. As a young woman she had left Glendive, Montana, and traveled to Minneapolis to study nursing; the upshot was that while working as a nurse in St. Paul, she met my father, married him and(I am sure she would say this) lived happily ever after. She had sent us to Montana to work a couple previous summers so we would live away from home. (We both went to college in the Twin Cities and lived at home.) That excursion was so successful she pushed again, so thanks, Mom, for the push.

Secondly, our cousin Michele, who is right in between the two of us agewise, went to Europe for a summer, hitchiked everywhere, and shared her expertise. She told us to hitchike in pairs, as three were too many for people to pick up. She also advised us to take public transportation to the edge of the city before we started thumbing because we didn’t want to waste time with one mile lifts. Having a meeting place at your destination was another important piece of information. Those tips were huge! Incredibly important. Her reviews of the Adriatic coastal highway in Yugoslavia sold us on that part of the trip. Thank you, Michele, for the information and also for modeling for both of us, how to travel and why it is great.

Deep gratitude to my husband, Dan, for keeping the pressure on both of us to see this project through, for editing both my newer writing and the format, and for assuming the burden of tech support. Through his requests for permission to reprint postcards, we have exchanged emails with people who knew the Wurmsers.

And for my part, thank you, Beth, for being an eager, good-natured and spontaneous travel partner. I could not have done this with anyone else.

FOREWORD

Beth

Iowa City, Iowa

In early spring 1966, I finished seasonal work as a newly-born ski bum. (Yes, it was my first effort, but I was hooked.) Sadly, the start of the next ski season was months away. Until then, I needed a definite plan.

So when Mary asked me if I’d like to accompany Audrae and her to Europe, I was thrilled. I would have a new place to tie my shoe laces, complete with destinations, and a solution to my restless feet.

Learning German, we assumed, wouldn’t be all that difficult. Working provided a lot of options, if vague. I think we envisioned (assumed) a similar experience to Glacier National Park or Big Mountain: live with other young people, work hard and play well. We never questioned that we would not have a forty-hour work week; health insurance or retirement were non-issues.

Friends thought it was cool that we would go to Europe; neither they nor we knew anyone else who had gone to Europe, learned a language, and worked there. We anticipated returning after many months, with a long braid, slim and well traveled, and able to spin a tale on a moment’s notice. Only the latter happened.

I remember driving home after a going-away party, and asking Mary what we were going to do when we arrived? No one there will care that Mary and Beth have disembarked. I’m scared. But we were committed: airline ticket, international driver’s license, school registration completed. Too late to back out.

What we learned from the start was the kindness of strangers. I’m pretty sure our midwestern roots spoke volumes. Nearly everyone generously and gently helped us out. I still owe these strangers for their help.

Mary wrote about the changes that happened in the late 1960s. We were surely on the cusp; the Europe that welcomed us was still recovering from World War II. Some residents continued to nurse their wounds, anger, and pride. We sometime stumbled on those barriers … still learning.

As you will learn, we worked as maids for an elderly Jewish couple, in their home. We discovered again how narrow our horizons had been. We knew a Jewish family, who lived across the street from us. We knew that wealthier Jews lived in Highland Park in St. Paul; others, less fortunate, lived across the river in the down-at-the-heels West side area. We bought shoes there a couple times a year. Yet this background was a meager initiation.

Though we fell short of our projected goals, we realized benefits we never anticipated. Just as we were never able to repay all the kindnesses given us, we are still absorbing lessons learned.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Beth

Mary addressed most of the individuals, who helped us a lot in this venture. We owe Mom thanks for getting us out of the house. Our home was so comfortable that none of us really wanted to leave. This was not the first time she had said good by to us. The first time was Glacier Park, Montana. Mary commented once in Gstaad that if it hadn’t been for the mountains in Glacier, we would probably not be living in the heart of the Swiss Alps.

Additionally, I am also grateful to Michele for leading by example, offering so much practical advice, and giving us a royal send off in Philadelphia.

When Mary and I were debating whether to stay in Gstaad or not, we wrote volumes to our now husbands, family, and friends, asking for advice from their perspectives. They responded, but no one told us what to do; that was left up to us. Their positive reinforcement was what we needed to make a decision and act on it.

Last but not least, I owe my ever-faithful sister, friend, and guide for including me in this European effort. We are so close in age that we could not remember a time when the other wasn’t there. This journey continued a pattern that has shaped my life for the better. Thank you, Mary.

Chapter 1

MARY AND BETH ABROAD ST. PAUL TO VIENNA

(1)

July 3, 1966

Philadelphia

Greetings to All,

This will probably be brief but anyway it’s a letter. But too, I can’t be brief. But here’s a try.

Got to Harrisburg without any trouble except we ran out of gas early Friday morn—6:30 a.m. but only slight delay with that. Also during the night about 1:30 a.m. we got a warning ticket because the tail lights were not working. Thank goodness neither of us was driving at those times. Two conclusions from driving: 1) Truly dislike Howard Johnson’s places to eat and 2) Feel that toll ways are an abuse to tourists.

Took the bus per plan from Harrisburg to Philadelphia. Uneventful trip except that the bus smelled like the toilet did not flush (sorry about the poddy-doo talk). Twas truly a nauseous odor, most offensive to our sensitive nostrils of the Palmer nose. Yup, my hand is over mine at present.

Had a very pleasant surprise when we got to Cal and Michele’s via taxi. We had a shrimp dinner and avocadoes and grapes. They are really fun. Cal has been really nice and very thoughtful and we can all get silly together which is good. Mary and I were rather apprehensive, as you know, but we needn’t have been.

Yesterday we toodled to the zoo but only after we three girls sat by the river and Cal had to go get gas. Yes indeedy, twice in two days! Then on to the zoo. Last night we had a picnic of barbecued chicken in the park. Then a drive around the city—neat. Cal knows a lot and has good things to tell.

Weather—really hot. High 90s and low 100s. Humidity—Mary and I supply an ample amount of our own moisture. Every movement brings out new water to replace or add to the original amount.

Church was old fashioned—but get this shot— 25 min. for Sunday Mass. Then stopped at a place for a breakfast; twas air conditioned and truly nice.

Meredith wants to tell some stuff so shall quit for now. We are dandy so don’t worry. All for now,

Love Fluff

PS Cal named me Princess Pudgy Feet due to their added width from the heat

(2)

July 3, 1966

Philadelphia

Dear All,

Just want to add a few things. Beth pretty well covered everything. We are both fine and feel much better since the goodby scene. That was very hard—to make the break—but it was necessary, and I think now that it’s over, we will all begin adjusting much better.

1.jpg

Figure 1. Mary and Beth Trying To Smile Goodbye In The Front Yard

The trip out was fine—cost each of us about $10.50, which is good. Art is really a fine person; he and Audrae were affectionate so M & B felt like drags once in