Open the Door

By Cadee Sullivan

I lived with the fear that someone would find out what had happened to meand that they would never be able to look at me the same way again. But if I was very good, no one would suspect those dark secrets.

The more I triumphed over heartache and self-worth, the more I felt a great compassion to share my story. I believe that this story can help you to see that it is possible to heal, and that you can find peace of mind if you will just Open the Door.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490844831

Cadee Sullivan

Cadee Sullivan started writing this book at the age of 70. She is now 73 and lives on the central coast of California. She dedicates this book to her children and grandchildren who gave her a reason to live.

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Copyright © 2014 Cadee Sullivan.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-4482-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4483-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014912738

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/28/2014

I sat there trembling, and I was crying so hard I could hardly speak. This was my third visit to see Dr. Casey, and now she was asking me to talk about my childhood. This was a faith based counseling service, and I was only there because my daughter was concerned about me. I had never been to a counselor before. Besides what did that say about my own faith that I would even need to go see a counselor?

I was 69 years old at the time and it had been 5 years since I lost my husband of 44 years. The day he died tragically, my whole life changed dramatically in an instant.

Dr. Casey talked about the power of prayer and of faith. She said that talking about our losses and grief was part of the healing process.

On this particular day she was asking me to talk about something that I had never told anyone, the entire story of the abuse I had gone through as a child. Dark secrets I had kept inside for such a very long time.

Introduction

Cadee Sullivan suffered horrendous abuse during her childhood. And there were several events of tragedy in her adult life.

As she tells the stories that will take you through her childhood and into her adulthood, you will be able to see how God used certain individuals in her life, and how these individuals helped in giving her the courage to believe in herself.

In this book she will tell you how she learned that there is help with adversity, and there is hope that can lead you to peace of mind.

This is the story of one woman’s triumph over abuse and tragedy.

I felt the warmth from the sun as I lay in the grass, on the hill above the abandoned school house where we lived. I was 9 years old.

It was spring, and I knew the names of many wildflowers, my grandmother had taught me. There were Yellow Buttercups, Indian Paint Brushes, Poppies, Lupines and Fiddlesticks.

The sky was bright blue with puffy white clouds, I could see the shape of a sailboat, a baby lamb, a castle.

My clothes were ragged and too small, my hair was full of tangles, my feet and hands had the dirt of going many days without a bath.

As I lay there looking at the clouds, I tried to forget the fear that often over-whelmed me. I imagined myself a princess, wearing a beautiful dress, living in a castle, cared for and safe.

I was nearing my 71st birthday when I decided to write this book about the abuse that I gone through as a child, and about the events of tragedy in my adult life. I know I will be writing about a great span of time, and that it will take me on a very difficult and emotional journey.

It is time not only for the healing of my own heart, but I have the faith that my story will help others find that they can conquor the effects of fear, pain, and grief. So as you go on this journey with me, I know this story can help you in the healing of your own heart.

I was born in the fall of 1940, in a county hospital in Glendale, California. Back in those days if a mother could not, or would not nurse their newborns, other women would nurse them for hire, They were referred to as nurse maids. The hospital where I was born employed these women; and so my first bonding was with an African American woman whose name was Cadee. My mother liked that name, and that is where my first name came from.

My mother was born in Tennessee. She was the youngest of eight children. Her father died when she was just 18 years old. All of her siblings except two sisters had moved to California looking for work. Soon after that she and her mother also moved to California.

Mother was raised on a farm from the time she was born. There was just a small community near by. In the early 1900’s it seemed as if they were shut off from the rest of the world. She had heard of the glamour and wealth in California and she was excited to go to this wonderful place.

After moving to southern Califronia she was naive and inexperienced in this new society. She began to get a lot of attention from men and she enjoyed it. This made her feel like she was a movie star, something she had dreamed about for a very long time.

This was the ‘Golden Age of Hollywood’ with famous actors like Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh.

Mother lived in this dream world, and she often threw caution to the wind, not considering the consequences of her behavior,

My father I would later find out was a young Staff Sergeant in the Army Air Corp. He had been taken from an orphanage as a young boy, by a family that was related to my mother’s sister-in-law.

He was stationed in Hawaii and was on leave before being shipped back overseas during WWII. He came to visit this sister-in-law and her family in California. It was on this occasion that he met my mother.

My mother was