Abused, Addicted, Neglected, Convicted, Redeemed: A Family Secret Exposed by Innocent Tragedy

By Alvin Burks

This is the story regarding 3 little african american brothers! Born to a very young girl who had no experience at raising chidren, but wanted to have children for her own selfish reasons! From the beginning she was already suffering through many ups and downs as a teenager! Never divulging to anybody the reasons for her pain, she became angry, and these young men had no chance at a decent upbringing basically due to their mothers actions!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 14, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483605159

Alvin Burks

ALVIN LEE BURKS Detail oriented culinary chef receiving his certifications and knowledge of foodservice from the Excelsior Springs Job Corps 1985-1987. Local Singer/Musician/Entertainer, Alvin has performed with local band Groove Agency at The Levee in Westport, Kansas City, Missouri. 14 years. Additional solo performances of National Anthems at major sporting events. Completing his high school, by obtaining his G.E.D. Alvin dreamed of many things in life that he could do with himself, some of them were put on hold to help raise 3 sons! He heard a calling upon God's word, and while doing so, got the inspiration to write about his life story to share with those not only what he's been through, but to help inspire someone who may not know what to do, and are lost within themselves! Alvin's mission in life is to not only help myself, but to encourage others!

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ABUSED,

ADDICTED,

EGLECTED,

CONVICTED,

REDEEMED

A Family Secret Exposed

by Innocent Tragedy

ALVIN BURKS

Copyright © 2013 by Alvin Burks.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Based on a true story. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s memory and are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely based on facts.

Rev. date: 05/10/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

119003

CONTENTS

INTRO

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

INTRO

T HIS IS THE story regarding 3 little african american brothers! Born to a very young girl who had no experience at raising chidren, but wanted to have children for her own selfish reasons! From the beginning she was already suffering through many ups and downs as a teenager! Never divulging to anybody the reasons for her pain, she became angry, and these young men had no chance at a decent upbringing basically due to their mother’s actions!

Our Mother was treacherously evil for some reason, she seemed angry at the world, and did as she pleased, and there was nobody who was going to stand in her way! She dropped out of school, became a single mother to 3 sons! She wrecklessly sought the comfort of men, one by one, to get through life! She first became pregnant the first time at the age of 14, only to leave that child behind to pursue her dream of having a man!

The alleged father didn’t want to have anything to do with her or the child, he left to pursue other ventures in his life, leaving us both to fend for ourselves! At 17, while pregnant with her second child, my brother Adrain! The young lady would surprisingly witness the murder of her own Mother at the hands of his father! Her father would also become a victim himself that day to the same violence that took his wife’s life! His finger was shot off at the murder scene!

This would start a chain of events that would horrify this entire family for many, many years to come! By the age of 22, she would have her third child, he would become the trophy child who could do no wrong! Every child had a different father, yet fatherless! She was very abusive to her first two children, probably from what pissed her off earlier in life! She beat us all the time using belts, then we graduated to switches (braided), as well as extension cords, telephone cords, a few times she even used an axe stick… . but that would be after we’d grown up some! She was very abusive, and demeaning! She didn’t really want us, she basically threw her 2 oldest children away to the dogs out there! After which I suffered sexual abuse at the hands of male friends who clung to our family, after the tragedy, and then with Wayne, the predators that lurked around within the correctional facilities, and the penal system!

She had no clue how to raise us up to become decent men in society! With the help of her sisters to raise us… . there was always a rift between my mother and her siblings after that murder of their mother! Our mother always left me with the family and not with her, while she chased after men, and I was ultimately pawned off as a way to get back at her for the murder they blamed her for, and I was made to be homosexual by her youngest sister’s boyfriend, Jerry R. (Deceased)! Adrain was throwed away like trash! Today she will tell you, she did the best that she could to raise up her children! But her second child didn’t have a fighting chance at doing anything! The last son was very sneaky, and the pride and joy of her life! He could do no wrong, but ended up creating his own mess! We were lost a lot of the time not having the guidance to live prosperous lives, or getting any help or support for what we were being put through! Our mother was very secretive, and didn’t talk about anything at all with her children! She was more interested in the men rather than in us kids! She was very adamant on being an independent, and took care of us… so to speak, but she resorted to violence lots of the time to solve her problems, and it wouldn’t even affect her consciously! As we got older, there was a lot of rebellion and lots of negative behavior that was learned over the years! We ended up making some bad choices in life ourselves, which led us down the wrong path making all the wrong decisions, causing ourselves to become convicted felons, getting caught up in the judicial system by choosing the different paths that we took in life! With all of the abuse we suffered there was no wonder why we ended up the way we are! The paths we took in life led us down some dark roads, but nobody talked about anything, and no one ever wanted to acknowledge or say anything about what was going on with us! We’ve been through so many things in life! Sexually, physically, mentally, and the emotional abuses, homosexuality, drug abuse, robbery, theft, assault in many degrees, probations, boys homes, jail, prison stints, paroles, drug dealing, manufacturing, kidnapping, foster care, drive by’s, and even murder!

Let me start at the beginning!

CHAPTER 1

I T WAS IN 1967, M ary and Esau (Deceased) struggled to make a good life for their 8 children! They had already made a large enough family by this time living basically off the land to survive! It was hard being able to feed a large family, and sometimes they ate animals that were not sold in stores, raccoons, squirrels, etc! Just to survive! They obviously lived beneath what was considered poverty at that time, but always seemed to make the best of life with what they had! Back in those days I was sure life was hard to come by! So many different laws were in play back in those times, so people got away with many different types of crimes without punishment from the courts or vigilantes! Promiscuity would come into play at a very early age for the oldest child born to this union! She didn’t have many friends, but demanded, and bullied her way around! She didn’t like being told what to do especially when it came from her Mother! I know that being the oldest child a lot responsibility is put on you, but she wasn’t having any of it! She set out to do her own thing! You know… things that other kids were not doing at her age! We lived in such a very large house that different apartments were connected or made into the building! By the time the oldest child, named Marie was 13, she had began fooling around secretively with an older man that lived there in the building in a downstairs or basement apartment for some time! It all started with washing clothes… . a responsibility placed upon Marie, by her Mother!

Downstairs in the basement was the machine which was very close in proximity to this man’s headquarters! Very flirtatious or even possibly the victim of abuse herself, she became very promiscuous with this older man. It was all supposed to be a secret, but she had other sister’s that knew what she was doing, and was suspicious about her behavior, nobody wanted to be like their older sister, because she was very defiant, rude, mean, and abusive to them, so they never told on her! She would strain some of the relationships with some of her siblings in order to maintain her secret, but that didn’t last long! This man who lived there along with this family of 6 girls, and 2 boys all ranging in ages 13, and younger, was trifling in so many ways, cause he was cheating on his girlfriend named Alma… . who was her mother’s sister!

Her mother had 2 sisters, Alma, and Willa Mae, and 6 brothers. Of these siblings, not one of them were too fond of their neice Marie! They basically hated this little girl for whatever reason, and all stories I’ve received regarding Marie, were that she just created havoc wherever she went, and with whom she ever encountered! We never learned anything about Esau’s family! That was a secret that he carried to his grave, and he never spoke a word about them! Lots of answers to many questions will and have died with those who beared secrets that may have caused so much corrupt in this young lady’s life! Unless she reveals to me before either of us dies… then I may never know what happened to my Mother! Could there have been incest, abuse and molestation within the family that I didn’t know about? Believably So! Well anyway… . Back to the story!

Now I don’t know why this man who they called Talley lived in the house with my family, instead of living with the love of his life… Alma! He was believed to be an old man… . somewhere close to grandma’s age! And for some strange reason they allowed him to live there although he would have made a family elsewhere with Alma… . they were due to have twins born in March 1968! If my grandparents knew about this, then why did they allow this to happen within the walls of their home! Obviously they didn’t know too much, because much was never told! This would begin the plethora of secrets that would consume this family to no avail!

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Marie 1967

Marie and Talley had been engaging each other with their selfish endeavors, making a pleasurable situation into the start of a new life, and in early January 1968, Marie became pregnant at age 14 with her first child… . Me! What would happen next would trigger a firestorm of events, resentment, and anger towards anybody who thought to get in the way! Talley didn’t want anything to do with Marie, he wanted what he wanted, leaving her to deal with this child and raise him all by herself! In April 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, and at that time it caused lots of rioting, fighting, and people dying because of the civil rights movement! Marie was 4 months pregnant when the fights broke out at Northwest Jr. High school in which she became involved! She hurt a few people herself, but my concern was that she was pregnant and fighting which could have harmed the baby! Either she didn’t know that she was pregnant yet or she didn’t care what would have happened in the first place!

September 3, 1968, at 10:22pm, a child is born to a single uneducated teenage mother without ever allowing me the chance of meeting the man that helped to make me! Notice I haven’t called him my Father, and that is with great reason! There would be many disappointments, failures, and triumphs to come in this young man’s life, and my life was just getting started! This would be the first blow the first few minutes of this child’s life! Not ever knowing who I could call my Father was confusing to me, yet there was always many different men hanging around the house! The world I was introduced to was strange, and filled with violence from the beginning! The family I come to know consisted of grandpa Esau, Marie, Denia, Kate, Vonnie, May, Glydia, Charles, and Elroy! I don’t remember my grandmother Mary! The family may have loved the fact that their oldest sister had a baby at age 14, but Marie was a way too promiscuous for her age, and that brought about a lot of drama to follow! There were a lot of mixed feelings shared between everybody, and they were all dealing with some things that Marie had done to them all personally! Those stories will have to come from them individually! Keep Reading!

Marie thought that made her a woman though, by having a baby, all the while trying to snare a man! It didn’t work in her favor, and she would start to take it out on me, and everybody around her! I remember when I was 3 yrs old, and I don’t know why? But maybe Marie was drunk, or high on something! She was mad about something and when I came up to her. I remember she slapped me so hard for the first time across my face that I went flying across the floor! This would begin the physical abuse inflicted on me by my Mother! She gave me this look, and she then told me, Get your ass up and get outta here! I don’t recall why she did that but it set the trend for events to come later! Soon Marie, (Moggie), as they called her, she would start to disappear! She refused to finish High School, and I didn’t know where she would be sometimes, and I would always be at home with the family but it was infuriating her mother that Marie was always gone! Well she met and had been seeing another guy named James H. whom she had been seeing by age 15! Immediately she became pregnant again, this time by James H., he was 23, and by 1969, my Father would be long gone by now our of my lives, and probably out of her aunt’s life, as well as leaving her with twin daughters!

I have to call Marie… Momma now! Out of respect for her! That is what she required now after all, she was my mother and, Momma seemed more appropriate anyways! Now that her Mother didn’t like the fact that she was living away from home at times, and had a baby, but always left him behind! She wanted her daughter to do like she was supposed to do, and that was to take care of her child! Momma did what she wanted to do! Anything that you think that you did wrong around her you had to think quick on your feet to save myself from getting slapped like I had made the mistake before! So with calling her Momma… well it fit right after I said it for a while, and I didn’t let her name slip out under any circumstances!

Momma and James were co-habitating in a tumultuous relationship, and it was made obvious by my grandmother that she didn’t like this guy! He felt the same way equally towards my grandparents for some reason, and had informed Momma that he didn’t want her parents at his house interfering in their relationship. Why she put up with the abuse herself is beyond me, and if it takes that to be with a man… . than I don’t understand why she wanted him so bad! They got into a fight, as usual, and Momma was sick! James wanted her to leave to go spend time at home, and find out what was wrong with her! She didn’t even know why she was sick! As ruthless as he was, he had already for-warned Momma before, threatening that if she was ever to leave him, and if her mother ever stepped foot on his property he was going to kill her or somebody! She didn’t listen to him for her own selfish reasons, not knowing to what extent he would carry out his threat! Momma, her parents, and her sisters went to the house to retrieve some clothes and other belongings, but there ended up being a scuffling that was taking place in the other room between James and Momma! He had struck Momma across the head with a gun! She told him, "I’m going to get my Momma, her mother, who was awaiting outside! The sisters then ran out of the apartment as well, yelling that they were fighting, and their mother, grandmother Mary got out to go see what was happening inside! James continued to arm himself with his gun, and once grandma entered, James shot her in cold blood! With everybody scattering, shocked and confused, my grandfather Esau came into the building where he encounterd Jerry, the twin brother of James! Jerry was armed as well, and he also raised his gun to shoot my grandfather, hitting him several times, and shooting off his right pointing finger!

February 27, 1971 ended up being the most tragic day for my family when James aimed and shot his gun at grandma, as she stood there in his house waiting for her daughter! He shot her in cold blood! Momma stood there and witnessed her mother being murdered by her boyfriend, the father to this baby she’s having! Or she may have ran and hid to save herself! Who really knows what happened? The younger sisters ran out of the house and over to a neighbors for help, and the neighbors called the police! There were no arrests made in the case, and Momma… . well she’s never spoken a word about it! She would never talk about it to anyone! Hell she won’t even tell me about my Father! Seems as if she plans on taking both stories to her grave without ever telling me about my history!

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Grandma (Deceased)

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James and Jerry (Deceased)

My grandfather lay along side his wife as she lay there bleeding to death, bleeding also himself, lost his pointing finger off his right hand in the melee! There were never any charges filed, and nobody ever even went to jail for all these assaults, the chaos, or murder!

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Grandpa (Deceased)

Surprisingly James nor Jerry would shoot my mother, but somehow she would survive this great tragedy, and would go on to later have her second child! Immediately though everybody in the family turned on Momma accusing her for the death of their mother, and grandma’s two sisters Willa Mae, and Alma were outraged, but did nothing regarding her death! They decided that vengeance was theirs, and they took it out on Mary’s family! It was so backwards! Before grandma was even placed in the ground, her sister’s went to my family’s home and stripped it of all of grandma’s things, from the furniture, to the family car! They left all eight kids with nothing, leaving them all to fend for themselves! Grandpa Esau did nothing to stop them from taking their stuff… he was such a pussy! Momma 17, and her sister Denia 16, both hung with each other like glue to paper, they were both the oldest children! It didn’t even seem to bother Momma that her mother was gone, yet I could have been left mother-less myself, if that situation would have turned out any different, and I would have lost my mother as well! But that wouldn’t have mattered to her, simply by the rate that she was going! Momma was on a path of destruction!

After the funeral there was an insurance policy that Momma was the sole beneficiary on the policy. The money from the insurance policy was ultimately granted, and disbursed to momma! Marie did not care how she treated people, and, Ain’t a damn thing nobody gon’ do about it!, as she would put it! What would happen next to her younger siblings would further devastate the situation! They didn’t have any money! Momma got that insurance money, don’t know how much, but got that money, and disappeared, with Denia! Leaving the house without her brothers and sisters, to go and have herself a heyday with all that insurance money! Denia was on Momma’s shirt tale, and she would do anything, and everything for her sister! She was nothing but a follower of everything Momma did anyway! Kate, and Vonnie found out that the two of them left, and went and got on this ass kissing venture to try and people please those two sisters of their mother, Alma, and Willa Mae (Both Deceased)! When they decided to do anything for their other siblings, the aunts showed up at the house with a couple bags of groceries for the family, to leave them once again… . behind, still high and dry to fend for themselves! It was later found out that that’s what happened, and it furthered strained the relationship between the siblings! I don’t know where I was in all of this? Oh… right there!

Momma was an evil, yet vindictive person and took out her frustrations on people when she felt like taking out anything on them! She wasn’t scared of anything, and everything to her was a challenge! She was ruthless, and atrocious when it came to anybody, including the men in her life! Fascination for men ruled her nest, and wasn’t nobody gonna stand in her way regarding that! James left Momma alone, but not for long, and it was also later found out that James and Momma was seeing each other again! I don’t know what could have brought her to the decision to keep dealing with him, unless he used control, and the fact that she was pregnant with his child! I don’t think Momma was that vindictive to have her own Mother murdered just to satisfy a man! Yet she kept dealing with him! I, on the other hand, had never met this man before nor did I live with him at any time! Momma was a young promiscuous teen with a young child, and about to have another one!

Grandma was gone now, and there were several small children left to take care of themselves! Grandpa was an illiterate, he couldn’t read or write! He didn’t have the education or financial means to do what it took to get his family to a safer environment, cause this house we lived in was a shack mansion in the hood! Nobody had any business living there in this house! It was delapidated, and one part of the house had been burnt in a fire! There were animals, wildlife like opossums, snakes, raccoons, and huge rats that looked like cats that roamed around on the property all of the time! We as children couldn’t even go outside to play because of the snakes that could strike us at any given time! Grandpa would get his gun and kill the snakes, rabbits, raccoons, and even the large rats that got into the house! I hated living there, and I’m sure everybody did! The house was also riddled with cockroaches, and they would be everywhere! In the beds, crawling into your ears, the bathroom! The rats got into the food, it was also atrocious! Humans, nor animals should not have been residing there!

On October 4, the day before Momma’s birthday she went into labor to have her second child, Adrain! So she’d spend her 17th birthday in the hospital having another child for another man that didn’t want her and had ultimately killed her mother just some 8 months earlier! She pursued him time after time, but her ambitions to have a man around was something that no one could wrap their brains around! She was a little too desperate to have a relationship with men all the time, make babies, and all it seemed, in the attempt to try to keep the man around who fathered these children, but it never worked for her! Her wishes and quick witted dreams of a family were far fetched, and it would cause her to lash out at everybody no matter what the circumstance! Something was wrong with her and it was something that she would never divulge to anyone! She may have been molested by a family member or something! That’s mine, and everybody else’s assumption for what we believe may have happened!

Momma started to beat on us! It seemed like she was having flashbacks or something looking at her kids faces which looked like the men that dumped her! She literally would beat us leaving whip marks, and a lot of the time they would bleed! She’d beat us with a belt at first, even hitting us with the buckle sometimes! She didn’t care! It was something I didn’t like, cause the whips hurt so bad they stung like a bee stinging you or something! I was a good kid I thought! All I ever did to entertain myself was to play