More Dead Than Alive

By Darrren Henley

One of the realist books I ever wrote. It talks
about the Gangs, Killing, from Murders,
to Drugs dealers, Secret Society, to a Corrupt
Government, to Mothers killing her own child's, to
Dad's raping his own seen, to Poverty, not enough
Believe, to everything we wake up to in life and the
Story of my life, to Children coming up corrupted.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483642796

Darrren Henley

My name is DARREN HENLEY and I was born in East Chicago, Indiana and I dedicate this book to my Children Christ and God to my Dad and G*G to my departed Mother Karen Williams and Cousins. R.I.P.

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Copyright © 2013 by Darren Henley.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 08/29/2013

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Contents

Life Before December 25

4 5 To My Head

A Change In Me

About to rise

About to take place

After Life

Aint nothing

All fun

Aways stood by me

America killing us

Another day

Another war

Apart of me

Apologize

As I laid dead

As they fall

At home

Baby girl

Banging with that gap

Be my wife

Be true to you

Become my hero

Been kidnapped

Before it’s too late

Before your story told

Behind the flag

Behind closed doors

Born loser

Breathe

Britney please hold on

Brittney I’m looking for you

Brittney R.I.P.

Brothers and sisters

Bury the remorse

Call the police

Casting nobody out

Come up out this pressure

Comes to worst

Commited sucide

Could I choose

Country that girl for u

Cradle to the grave

Crime life

Day I die

Day until I rise

Death total

Die before you

Done with my life

Don’t make it

Embedded in my eyes

Evil of America

Feelin the pain

Females I meet everyday

Figured it out

Finally decease

First date

For a nigga to live

For every one

For sure

Forever your boo

From this life

Get better

Giving thanks

Giving up on

Going to die

Gotta prove to the mades

Grew apart

Hallelujah

Holding on to my name

Holy high

Hope for joy

Hoping for a way

-Out

Hoping they stop

How you felt

I do say

I got on

I got to end this

I lost here

If it need to be

If y’all could be stoned

I’m a witness

Ima do me

In my life

In poverty

In the club toasting

It’s no way out

It’s time for me to go

It was more to show

Jazmine you know

Just to stay alive

Keep my people with hope

Killers and murderers

Killing All OVER

Leaving behind to enjoy

Leaving the industry

Life going up in flames

Life one day

Life was a mister

Life with this 12 gauge

Life

Like a dream

Live this life over

Living For Your Career

Losing sleep

Love & support

Man hood

Me to you

Memories being lost

Message through these words

Moment of peace

More dead then a life

More death

Mother earth

My belief

My game tight

My guardian

My life turned out

My mind is twisted

My will

My young age

Neglecting their own seeds

Never let it go

A new meaning to thug life

New way of my life

Niggers wake up

Out for attention

Over came

Poor life

Promise

Rat-a-tat

Reborn of Jesus Christ

Rememder every tear

Reminiscing on

Rising to

Save me a place

Smoking weed

Society

Soldier on mission

Something you lost

The only one standing

The wrong season

Thing he was

This conversation is done

This society

Thought It Was Done

Thoughts of dying

Threw the valley

To be down

To be tortured

To escape

To see death

Taught me how to get mines

We all die

Who I am

Why they call you a ho

With a pen

You a real g"

Young teens fall victim

Life Before December 25

After the rain brings the pain, dealing with the lost of these children what world could it bring? What happened with those children in Connecticut? How many parents went insane? Please learn from my mistake the Lord isn’t the one to blame. I have not seen my kids in two years. I know it’s not the same but I still feel the parents’ pain. This is one of the hardest stories I ever wrote, with a million and one things running through my brain. On top of that I’m going hungry and homeless. It ain’t about me but it’s a price we have to pay for messing up these children lives today. To the parents because he committed suicide don’t think he got away. To the human race we gotta put away this prejudice. It’s hard being a human being, no matter what color you are you just got to believe in the Lord faith to escape. Because so much is happening in society today. My prayers are like loading up ammunition. A young teacher giving her only life to sacrifice a young life, you know she with Christ. Come together to pray for her family. No matter what color you are. Put your life in that position, I’m with you. If we all choose for a better life without the government we can’t lose. To the government what happened to the tragedy behind Columbine? these childrens’ school should have never got that far on the news. I’m a parent feeling the great remorse; these children lost their life before December 25th. I believe it was all a set up.

4 5 To My Head

Momma all I want to do is to please you, that’s all I wanted to do. To make it wealthy, to buy you something new to write many books so my dreams can come true. Every night I cry to be with you, knowing that you’re looking down. Sometimes I hear the sound of your voice. My life was different out of five; it brought tears to my eyes. Especially when you died dreaming of holding a 4 5 to my head. Remember how you used to tuck me in going to bed life moving so fast. Lord so many passed that drove me insane. How could I deal with my pain, contemplating suicide while I’m walking. My brother and sisters they think that I lost, do they really understand the tragedy that I went through? Lord they don’t know how hard it is to get to you. If I change my life would it make the world change? My tears bring forth rain, take a seat and let my story reach you. Another lyrical coming up like PAC, I will be a miracle to many. My words just the beginning to be reborn. I’m keeping it moving on and doing it for my people that have already gone with a 4 5 to my head.

A Change In Me

This young nigger I love to death, he’s ready to take his last breath… Dying over hats grew up feeling like he was already put to death. Puffing on a fat sack never leaving home without his gat, telling me can I see death? Wondering what goanna happened next so I coming with a bunch of niggers in packs. Spinning out control dealing with these hoes, grew up in this hell hole losing control. Spinning out of control dealing with these assholes. Living at home where he was cast out. A young nigger about to bug out having doubts pushing him out. Turning the lights out hoping the Lord will dig him out caught up in a shoot-out paranoid got me grabbing a 380 Let me go baby I’ve been going through this daily only the Lord knows if it’s on NBC trapped in the sea hard for me to see Will we ever be free? Only thing I see up ahead is danger. Not too much left in me, witness to my city going under siege. Throwing up pitchfork homies R.I.P. seeing you in V.I.P. Lord it’s time for us to agree, praying for a change in me. Spinning out control, dealing with these hoes. Grew up in a hell hole losing control sinning out of control, dealing with these assholes.

About to rise

Under anxiety attack haven’t slept, I’m wondering about death. Besides my word and my balls and my kids are the only thing that I got left. With a knot growing on my chest give me more time to serve the purpose. While I’m here I don’t know how long I got to live, watching my children shed their tears. In a week I will be writing my will. Finally be a witness to the next life, standing in the light while I see Christ. To my kids you gotta do your best to stay on this earth and fight for what is right. I know a lot of things haven’t been right beside that y’all are all I got left memories of me Jamell and my Dog. We made it up there with the rest of y’all. Lord holding a memory of me at the same time holding on to me. Forgive me for my bad deeds it got me addicted to weed. Before I leave let me get a chance to see my seeds only memories I got left. Taking them to Chuckie Cheese. Thanks for blessing me while my heart bleed. I used to be a junky and a coke addict. Trying to commit suicide in my mother attic. Instead of having a child hood I was being abused. My family made fun of me because I was in a special school. In the house they broke the rules but I’m the one that got abused. They made fun of me every time I went to school. As I grew both my baby mamas did me in too. Everybody else wanna join in, to make it even harder for me to get ahead. My dad turned away from me too. You see the struggle and fight that I had to breakthrough people taking advantage of me. Baby I’m sorry for last night. My spirit will be here for a long time in heaven smiling down. Forgive me as a child somewhere in my childhood my heart died nobody will cry when I die cause I’m a outlaw about to rise.

About to take place

For the crimes I’ve done Christ finally forgave me for what I’ve done. It was a hard lesson to learn, every dollar I burn. I used to live by the guns didn’t even know if I was going to make it to see my sons. Now I’m a ghost writer. Now my words like a hit for hire every letter on fire. Promise my mother I will never retire. I will always stay around to be a writer because I used to be a born loser. Hung around nothing but losers. From a criminal crew with my picture on the news. At that time I didn’t realize how much I had to lose. My uncle passed me the towel and started singing the blues, That week I failed and whinding up in jail facing a B felony above my head. Thought I couldn’t make it without a Dad. I was in the making of my first book when my mother passed. I left the worst in the past now I can sit back and laugh. From an open casket, knowing that my people smiling down from heaven. My sister Dog got your ashes. For everything I wrote to the people, this is another part of my life that ain’t no joke. I feel like I gotta write some more. If I can make it in life just imagine how many more? You just got to trust in the Lord and believe in him more when it pours. This is how I used to live now this is the way I feel. My story will forever live. To the old generation to the new generation we gotta have patience and be prepared for what is about to take place.

After Life

You treat a nigger like he’s a HO. I survived many after lives to become a soldier. From shooting up the block, to armed robberies, to gun shots. My mother went into the state of shock because she thought I wasn’t going to make it to 11. From stress calling on God when she saw her son loading up a glock. Around the clock I grew to a Mack-11. For the haters on the side it’s millions of me coming up world-wide. For the fame and the name nigger we’re doing our thing. Got niggers in the cut with the A-K’s, 5.0 scared to drive down our way. We undefeated in this drug trade! Killing up our enemies so sweet so a nigger can have peace. Jumping out the 6/4 with the street sweeper. We don’t play games on my block! We not know (HO) we refuse to die before we go for broke. If we gotta run up in a liquor stores to flip. Leaving ya’ll a tip for the things that I built. Niggers here always stayed on the grind. I seen a tear in my homies eyes when I put that nine to my mind. What will it be like? In the afterlife would I have my nine in my left hand at a red light? Do I have to be fully strapped at night? Slice my wrist with a knife? Do you see the reason why I had to change my life? From the gun fight, till God being in my sight and taking over my life. My lifestyle speak a lot of stories after traveling throughout the after-life, I give the Lord the glory. Momma forgive me for your worries. You were very loving. A nigger had to do his thing. I don’t hold you for the blame. For my folks, they know a nigger was insane. Three minutes on this earth I was in pain. From then on it was hard for me to obtain. We ain’t no Ho. We trapped in this game with a name for a after life.

Aint nothing

Turn to the next page niggers want to know how to get paid and be saved. When it’s a lot of ways to grind my young juvenile went wild grabbing his nine thinking the world was mine. Running with all type of crimes my oldest brother is what I was looking up too. With a tool in school running around banging blue. Accidently shot a teacher too my youngest brother about to be prosecuted, trying to betray my life facing life.

Surviving the pain trying to survive so much, everyday wiping the tears from your mother eyes tasting the pain. They trying to control our brains surviving the pain trying to survive. So much everyday wiping the tears from your mother eyes, holding a nine they’ll never take me alive.

I was a youngin pushing rocks on the block