Characters of the Bible: Finding My Stories in Their Stories

By David Waddell

As we study the Bible, we may believe we are far removed from the people described on those pages. After all, many played significant roles in helping Jesus spread the gospel. Most of us find it difficultif not impossibleto picture ourselves in that disciple-type role because we are sinful and dont always make the wisest decisions.

In Characters of the Bible: Finding My Stories in Their Stories, author David Waddell shares his discovery of his similarity to characters in the Bible. He found a relationship with the woman in John 8:111. He saw himself in a crowd of Pharisees urging punishment of a woman who did something they had done or wanted to do. Waddell was the woman looking for love in all the wrong places. He was the woman at the mercy of Jesus who was forgiven of all her sins without defending herself. Waddell realized the connection he had with biblical characters because like him, and like us, they were sinful. And if were truthful with ourselves, we can be mean, deceitful, conniving, and abusing, just like many people described in the Bible. Yet God used them for His purposes, and He will use us if we let Him.

In Characters in the Bible: Finding My Stories in Their Stories, we can find comfort in knowing we are just as flawed, goofy, wrong, and misdirected as these biblical characters. It is through the lives of these people that we can see so much of ourselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 12, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490867731

David Waddell

David Waddell is a veteran of ministry leadership and currently teaches at the University of Mississippi. He is the published author of three books, Characters of the Bible: Finding My Stories in Their Stories, Holiday Biblical Characters: Finding My Stories in the Stories of Christmas and Easter, and Worship Wars: The Kings Lead the Battle to Spirit and Truth. David is a sought-after speaker and entertainer with his ability to laugh at himself. David enjoys time spent with friends and family, including his twelve grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2015 David Waddell.

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All Scriptures, unless noted, are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-6774-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6775-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6773-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015901136

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/12/2015

Contents

Joseph: The Ornery Brother (Genesis 37–50)

Balaam: Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Numbers 22:21–39)

Cain: Didn’t Give His Best (Genesis 4:3–8)

Peter: Did I Just Say That? (Luke 9:28–36)

Samson: The Trouble with Women (Judges 14–16)

Woman Caught: Escaping Judgment (John 8:1–11)

Woman at the Well: Rules Are Made to be Broken! (John 4)

Gideon: Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs (Judges 6–8)

Adam: Pass the Buck (Genesis 3)

Job: With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemas? (Job 2–32)

David: Cocky or Confident (1 Samuel 17)

Elijah: Post-Miracle Depression and Pity Party Time (1 Kings 18–19)

Jonah: Instructions? We Don’t Need No Stinking Instructions! (Jonah 1–4)

Jacob: Roll Call! What’s in a Name? (Genesis 25–32)

Korah: That’s So Beneath Me (Numbers 16)

Daniel: Killer B’s Diet Plan (Daniel 1)

Shinar, Shinar Silver Moon up in the Sky: Sprechen Sie Deutsch? (Genesis 11:1–9)

The Prodigal’s Older Brother: How Come Him? (Luke 15:11–32)

Naaman: Is That It? (2 Kings 5:1–19)

Gehazi: What’s In It for Me? (2 Kings 5:20–27)

Esau: Super Size Me! (Genesis 25:29–34)

Lot’s Wife: One Wrong Turn (Genesis 19:1–29)

Geuel and the Gang: I-Spy (Numbers 13)

PHD Prayers: The Show Must Go On! (Matthew 6:1–8)

Peter: Mr. Fixit! (Matthew 14:22–33)

Abraham: Hurry Up and Wait (Genesis 15–18, 21)

Moses: Temper, Temper (Numbers 20:1–13)

Ananias: You Want Me to do What? (Acts 9:10–19)

Isaac: Like father like son (Genesis 26:1–11)

Judah and Tamar: She’s Guilty! Oops, So Am I! (Genesis 38)

John the Baptist: Creating the Lessen Plan (John 3:30, Luke 7:20)

Abimelech: I Heard Exactly What I Wanted to Hear (Genesis 20, 26)

The Disciples: Identity Theft? (Matthew 16:13–20)

Peter: Just How Far Can I Take This? (Matthew 18:21–22)

James and John: We Got This One, God (Luke 9:51–56)

Blinded Parents: Throw Him under the Bus (John 9)

Peter’s Friends: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise (Acts 12:6–19)

The Angel’s Angle: Fear Not Is Going to Work with Gideon (Judges 6–8)

Ananias and Sapphira: I Thought I Got Away with It (Acts 5:1–11)

Aaron: I Tossed in the Gold and Out Came This Calf! (Exodus 32:1–24)

The Disciples: I Am the Greatest (Luke 9)

David: Sometimes You Can Overplan These Things (2 Samuel 24:1–17)

Barn Builder: Punked! (Luke 12:16–21)

Hophni and Phinehas: Membership Has Its Privileges (1 Samuel 2:12–17)

The Early Shift: What’s My Share? (Mark 20:1–16)

Jepthah: Think Before You Speak (Judges 11)

Shechem: I Misread That One (Genesis 34)

John: Fur us or agin’ us (Luke 9)

Orpah: Let’s Try That One More Time (Ruth 1)

Martha: An Order Disorder (Luke 10:38–42)

The Reluctant Followers: Thar She Plows! (Luke 9:57–62)

Mother of James and John: Power and Glory (Mark 10:35–45, Matthew 20:20–28)

Peter: What about Him? (John 21:15–22)

Peter: I Got This! (Matthew 14:22–31)

John the Baptist: Is This It? (Matthew 11:1–24)

David: It Just Happened (2 Samuel 11–12)

Michal: Now That You Can Dance … (2 Samuel 6:12–23)

Sarah: I’m Kind of in a Hurry Here (Genesis 15–16)

Peter: You Can Count on Me! (Matthew 26:31–35, 69–75)

Achan: Damage Control (Joshua 7)

Ahitophel: My Bad Vice Is Bad Advice (2 Samuel 16:15–17:23)

Saul: Collection of Souvenirs (1 Samuel 13)

Rehoboam: That’s More Like It (1 Kings 12)

Jacob: Fighting the Rights of the Firstborn (Genesis 25, 27)

Nadab and Abihu: Instructions Are for After You’ve Screwed It Up (Leviticus 10:1–5)

Solomon: Predecessor Problems? (1 Kings 3:1–15)

Samaritan Woman: Did I Hear That Correctly? (John 4)

The People of Jesus’ Time: What Was That Name Again? (Mark 8:27–30)

Judaizers: No Extra Hoops as Our Debt Is Paid in Full (Acts 15:1–21)

Solomon: It’s the However that Haunts Us (1 Kings 11:1–10)

David: Hard Boiled and Over Easy (2 Samuel 11–13:22)

Palti: Fear Makes Everything Bigger (Numbers 13)

Esau: Civil Disobedience (Genesis 28:1–9)

The Rich Ruler: Sometimes I Be Hero … Sometimes I Be Goat (Matthew 19:16–30)

The Potter: Here Let Me Fix That Mess (Jeremiah 18:1–6)

Ham: Look at Him! Look at Him! (Genesis 9:18–27)

Sanballat: I Mess You Terribly (Nehemiah 2, 4, 6)

Adam: Busted! (Genesis 3:1–19)

Zacchaeus: A Wee Little Man Was He Syndrome (Luke 19:1–10)

Ben-Hadad: Trash Talking King (1 Kings 20)

Cain: In a Pinch (Genesis 4)

MC Hammered: Beyond Expectations (John 2:1–11)

David: Silence Isn’t All That Golden (2 Samuel 11–12)

Rehoboam: Good Times and Bad (2 Chronicles 11:1–17)

Solomon: I Should Have Listened to Myself (1 Kings 11:1–6)

Security-Minded Disciples: Halt! Who Goes There? (Matthew 19:13–15)

Jacob: Celebrating the Past Over (Genesis 31–33)

Joseph: What If I Stop Saying What If? (Matthew 1:18–25)

This book is dedicated to my family and friends.

You invited me into your life.

You inspired me with your stories.

You encouraged me with your words.

When I think of the people God used in the Bible, I find peace. Those guys and gals were just like me! As I started to see them and their situations through the eyes of my own experiences, they started meaning a lot more to me.

The idea of studying particular people in Bible stories came to me after a period of restoration following some darkness and sin in my life. I was given an opportunity to speak to the church I had once served. I structured the message around the people involved in the story told in John 8:1–11.

As I reviewed the story, I saw myself in a crowd of people wishing punishment on a lady for committing the same sin they had done or wished to do. I held my stone, ready to throw. I saw myself as a Pharisee bringing one to justice in the guise of image protection and seeming to be holy. I played that game of pretending to be better than I really was. I saw myself as the woman who was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was the woman that basically was at the mercy of Jesus regarding her punishment and who, despite remaining quiet, was forgiven of her sins. At that point I began to see the connection I had in my life with the mistakes, sin, stupidity, and rebellion of Bible characters.

These writings deal with characters of the Bible. But these are not just characters as in actors or people in a story. My writings do not deal with character as a description of positive traits. No, these characters of the Bible are real characters, as in He’s a real character! These characters are mean, lying, deceitful, cheating, conniving, and abusive. Isn’t it great to have such wonderful role models? Some of these stories might also be a surprise to people I know, in that I’ve never confessed some of these aspects before. I ask family and friends and former churches to offer grace in matters I might have gotten away with up till now.

It amazes me that some of the people who got their names and stories in the best-selling book of all time were some of the most flawed characters in the world. I find comfort in the fact that I am just as flawed and goofy and wrong and misdirected as they are. It is through the lives of these characters that I see so much of myself. I have an idea you might find yourself in a couple of the characters as well. As I look at their situations, I see my life play out. Their story is my story. Their sin is my sin. I also know their victory will be my victory when I meet some of them in heaven. Oh, will we have some stories to share!

It is my hope you’ll see yourself in some of the characters and realize you’re not as bad as you may have thought. After all, a similar character got his or her name in the Bible!

Joseph: The Ornery Brother (Genesis 37–50)

As she set the clean clothes in my drawer, she saw something flicker. It was the reflection of the bedroom light on something wrapped in foil. The objects had the appearance of Christmas colors. It was the kind of foil that Hershey’s uses to wrap their miniature candies.

It was Christmas candy.

Of course Mom was putting the clothes away near Valentine’s Day, when new candy would be distributed. She thought nothing of it because it was normal behavior for me to stow candy away. You see, I was a brother. Born in the middle of three boys, we all set out to destroy one another with pithy statements, practical jokes, and an occasional all-out brawl.

Ornery is the word my grandparents and parents would use to describe me. When candy was given, my brothers would gobble theirs down immediately. I ate a little for the initial thrill but then would hide the rest of it. Later, sometimes months later, I would pull the candy out and teasingly and enticingly eat it in front of my brothers. Of course this would get a rise out of them, so I would get both chocolate and the satisfaction of irritating a sibling.

Talk about your win-win situation.

During the summers, because both Mom and Dad worked outside the home, we boys had the run of the house. I would usually rise before Allen or Mark and would read, play games, or watch TV until one of them was up. When they got up, they’d usually start something for breakfast. Normally it would be some kind of egg-and-toast combination. I’d wait a moment till they got started and ask if they’d mind tossing me in a couple. I mean, while you’re cooking already, what’s a couple more? I definitely was a brother. I had a good gig until Mom figured out what was going on and made me start cooking my own stuff.

Now, don’t go feeling sorry for Allen and Mark. Believe me when I say they were brothers as well. I wonder often if the original Greek or Hebrew word for brother literally meant obnoxious initiator for the purpose of inciting a riot. We would eat each other’s leftover cake, drink the last Coke with someone else’s name on it, and stuff each other’s bed pillows with our dirty socks and underwear.

Sometimes we’d team up with one of the other brothers and pester the outsider. Mark, whom I shared a room with from his birth until Allen moved out, was the youngest of the three. We’d often get together and bang on Allen’s door, singing, Coca-Cola is Coke, that’s the way it should be—a jingle from an old commercial. We’d hit the door to the tune of the song and sing it over and over again until he’d finally explode.

The phones back then were rotary dial, so if there was an extension, you could pick it up and screw up the dialing of the other phone. I’m not saying we did that, but I’ve heard of others doing it. I read a lot. Okay, it was fun.

In the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis, there is normally a reference to the evil his brothers did to him. The storyteller almost paints a picture of this perfect son that endures all sorts of unfair treatment.

I know better.

You see, Joseph was a brother. He was the eleventh son and twelfth child born to Jacob. He was the firstborn child of Rachel, the girl that Jacob loved more than his other wife, Rachel’s sister. This makes him a middle child of sorts with the arrival of Benjamin, his little brother from the same mother. It also explains some of the special treatment his father gave him. The writer of Genesis tells us that Joseph was loved most by his father. His father gave him a special, richly ornamented robe. Further, it states that the brothers saw this favoritism and hated him. Talk about your sibling rivalry!

Being a brother, I don’t believe Joseph was innocent in the growth of hatred toward himself. I have no doubt that Joseph took the ornamented robe and flaunted it in front of his brothers, much like I did my Christmas candy. No doubt Joseph pointed out how much more loved he was and how he was the favorite of their father. My brothers continue to claim to this day that Mom loved me best. Of course I didn’t get additional chocolate from my mother; I just hid mine until later.

Later Joseph got a couple of dreams from God about how his brothers would someday bow down to him. Can you imagine the pride exuding from this boy telling this to his older brothers? It’s as if he’s requesting an additional couple of eggs to be tossed into the pan, making them his servants. A piece of toast would be nice as well, if you don’t mind.

No wonder they wanted to kill him. I think Allen and Mark dealt with the same temptation. We did share one other thing with Joseph and his brothers: we could pick on each other, but if anyone else tried it, a fight would break out. Some of the best bus stop battles occurred when someone wanted to pick on one of us. Reuben, the oldest brother, didn’t want to kill Joseph, so he convinced the others to throw him in an old well. Then Judah had the bright idea of selling him to a caravan coming through. Even in an evil act, his brothers were protecting him as best they could.

Of course we can read in the rest of the story how Joseph continued to experience new trials as God honed his pride by making him a humble servant God could use. God made him second in command in Egypt. A famine hit the land, which led his brothers to travel and ask him for food without recognizing who he was. Joseph recognized them, however, and proceeded to play with them a bit while taking care of their hunger needs. He put a little scare into their hearts before confessing who he was. One of the brothers even called out that they were getting payback for what they did to Joseph. In the midst of all this new conniving, the day came when the brothers did kneel before him. Don’t worry, Mark and Allen, I haven’t had that dream!

Joseph, after seeing the brother from his own mother, and in a spirit of forgiveness, pointed out to his brothers who he was and that what they meant for evil God used for good. I would imagine my brothers and I could all say the same thing. When I received what they perceived to be unfair treatment in an employment situation, they were greatly outspoken about it. When failure visited me, the brothers were there to pick me up and remind me of my worth. I do the same for them. Cain asked God if he was his brother’s keeper. The answer for me is yes! Learning from my relationship with my brothers, I’ve added a host of friends to my life that I would consider my brothers. But not to worry, I’m not looking for any eggs to be cooked—that is, unless you’re tossing a couple on the stove anyway.

So for those times when I harassed the daylights out of you guys, for those taunting and teasing exhibits of chocolate consumption, for taking you for granted and treating you like servants, I can only say that what I meant for evil, God has turned into good!

Chocolate anyone?

Balaam: Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Numbers 22:21–39)

She couldn’t get around too easily. She used a walking cane, and it was evident to me, even as a first grader, that she could easily be outrun in the event that would be needed information in a classroom. I remember she had blue hair. I believe this is when senior adults were first called blue hairs, because ladies at that time put something in their hair to get rid of the gray, only to have their hair turn blue. Despite her limitations, she was a strong lady. She did not accept anything from her class except their best behavior. I always struggled with those kinds of expectations in schoolwork, even at that young age. It was always more fun being the class clown.

My scariest memory of her is from one day after I returned from recess. I walked into the same room she was in. Upon my entrance I immediately felt her displeasure with me. Of all the things I’ve done wrong, I wondered, which one did she catch? I looked around, and the girls in the room didn’t seem worried with her but were shocked to see me. She approached me, poked me on the arm with her cane, and told me, Get out of this room, and never let me catch you here again.

Then she poked me again and stated the same warning: Get out of this room, and never let me catch you here again!

Can you believe this assault on an innocent child? The aggressiveness with which she dealt with me was shocking and scary. I immediately turned and ran out of the room, believing she would jab me with the cane once more. Get out of this room, and never let me catch you here again! Those words could still haunt me to this day.

Even at that young age, I was shocked at the violence demonstrated on me. Is this what is meant by the board of education? Can a teacher actually get away with telling a student to get out of a room and never return? Isn’t caning against the law in this country? And if not, shouldn’t it at least be unlawful against first graders?

Of course, there’s part of the story I haven’t shared yet. I was in the girls’ restroom. And yes, I knew what I was doing.

It seems that I spent a good portion of my life in places where I shouldn’t have been. Oh, more times than not I knew better. I just went there anyway—sometimes to flirt with sin, and other times to just flat out ask it out on a date! God always tried to communicate with me about better paths to walk, but I wouldn’t listen. Throughout history God has chosen a variety of methods to communicate with us. Elijah once listened for God through a mighty wind, an earthquake, and a fire. Finally Elijah heard the Lord in a still, small voice.

While Elijah and other people respond to the gentle whisper of the Lord, I’ve always been a little hard of hearing and a slow learner. The whisper is exchanged for a heavenly two-by-four upside the head. If you look at my forehead close enough, you can actually see the Yellow Wood brand etched into my skin! I discovered wooden canes work too.

When I was growing up, there was a popular show on television called Mister. Ed. It was the story of a talking horse and the troubles he got into with his human owner. Perhaps I would have listened better if God had provided me a talking horse.

God actually used that method once, although it was a donkey rather than a horse. Balaam, a prophet of God, was guilty of the same thing I was. He tried going somewhere God had told him specifically not to go. The Israelites were making their trek toward the Promised Land. In the process, they had annihilated several societies on their path. Balaam had been summoned by his king to explore the coming Israelites and place a curse on them. The king, of course, was worried that he and his people would be destroyed as well. Balaam, after being told by God not to comply with the king’s request, refused the king. The king then sent his servants again to plead and offer even greater riches for him to fulfill the king’s wishes. When he refused again, he told the servants to wait until morning while he received another word from God. Isn’t it funny how we keep asking God for things even after He says no? This time, however, God, giving Balaam over to his greed, said, Go.

I have a feeling Balaam was trying the Look at me, I’m the good guy stance while also balancing the trip in the hopes of making a few bucks and satisfying some selfishness in his life. I’ve played that game too, Balaam! As long as I look holy, I must be holy, right? God, of course, could see he wanted to enter the girl’s restroom, and He granted permission even though the trip made Him angry!

As Balaam was on his way, his donkey saw what was looming ahead. No problem, it’s just my first grade teacher with her cane. Well, actually it was an angel from the Lord with a big sword aimed to kill them. The donkey, seeing with eyes Balaam had apparently closed in the girl’s restroom, came to a stop and turned off the road, only to be whipped by Balaam and redirected onto the road.

On round two, out of fear, the donkey, seeing the angel of death again, ran Balaam into a wall, smashing his foot. I’ve always heard you shouldn’t give children spankings when you’re angry. Balaam apparently hadn’t heard this regarding donkeys. The smashing into the wall got the donkey another whipping. Balaam apparently had a cane of his own.

Finally, on the third attempt, the donkey just laid itself down out of fear of the angel of the Lord. Balaam started beating the poor animal with his staff. That’s when the donkey began talking. He questioned why Balaam was whipping him. It was during the conversation that God opened the eyes of Balaam and he saw the teacher with a cane in the girl’s bathroom. Well, sort of—he was finally able to see the angel of death for himself. The angel questioned him on the beating of the donkey as well as why Balaam had decided to go into the girl’s restroom, or defy God’s wishes in going to a place God had forbidden him to go to. Balaam, realizing his sin, admitted he shouldn’t be in the girl’s bathroom.

So what does it take to keep us out of the wrong place at the wrong time? Can we avoid the flirtation with devastation? Can we defy the lies that lead us to desire something God is not in favor of? I would hope we can learn to listen to the voice of God in the gentle nudge, whisper, or still, small voice. If not, there are always walking canes, two-by-fours, and talking donkeys.

So get out of this room, and never let me catch you here again!

Cain: Didn’t Give His Best (Genesis 4:3–8)

Math was never really my strong suit. I’m not sure I can say any school subject was really my strong suit, unless you want to count comedy or being a class clown as a school subject. My reading skills were poor, and other than Superman and Batman comics, I didn’t read much. My parents, being the wise folks they are, subscribed to Sporting News for me because they knew I’d read it. To this day I have no idea who Silas Marner was, but I know Paul Silas played in the National Basketball Association!

I could handle the basics of math in elementary school with minimal success. Baseball statistics helped me learn addition, multiplication, and division in figuring out batting averages and earned-run averages, but it didn’t advance much further than that. As I started junior high, I realized that I could handle basic math, but when I got into algebra and geometry, I figured I might as well have taken geography, because I was lost. The feeling of inadequacy was not helped by having a smarter older brother to be compared with.

Recognizing a weakness for the subject, I gave myself permission to not do well. If it isn’t hard enough to learn in the first place, then allowing for average success makes it all the more difficult.

Entering my freshman year, I had a choice between Math 1 and Algebra 1. My parents and advisors felt it was best to put me in Algebra 1. If only the guy Tom Hanks played in Big could have explained things to me. Mr. Jones, my teacher, was no Tom Hanks. It didn’t start out well either. He asked if I was Allen’s brother, and because I was, he assumed I would have the same level of intelligence he did. That’s just not going to happen. I did, however, notice one thing that could be used to my advantage: the answers to all the odd questions were in the back of the book. I did not realize those were there so you could make sure you had done the problem accurately. I submitted my homework of items one, three, five, and seven that day fully confident each one was correct.

In discussing the homework, Mr. Jones called on me for number one. I proudly called out the answer. I could sense the pride exuding from his smile. Another Waddell was his thought, I’m sure. He then asked me to come to the front of the class and demonstrate how I had gotten the answer. I grabbed my textbook, walked to the front, turned to the answers in the back, and pointed to the correct answer.

The class let out a roar of laughter. Mr. Jones was not joining in. It was the first of many high school journeys to the office caused by my sense of humor.

Not being one to expand my mathematical mind (unless you count baseball batting averages and earned-run averages), I began my college years with the knowledge that I had to take one math class. Having learned my lesson from high school, I registered for the college-level Math 1 instead of college algebra. I was cruising through, thinking I had it made with this class. Then it happened.

While I was working the recreation center at First Baptist Church, a third-grader asked me if I could help him with his homework. I agreed and asked what subject it was. He stated it was math and that he couldn’t understand what they were trying to do. Despite my mathematical inadequacies, I sat down with the young man and he showed me the list of problems in his textbook. They were working on clock arithmetic. In other words, in clock arithmetic ten plus three would equal one. You just keep going round and round the clock with the numbers. Ironically, that was the very assignment I was working on for my college class. I started poring through this child’s textbook and found an incredible number of items similar to what my college textbook was covering.

The sad part is I made only a B in the third-grade college-level math class.

Not doing one’s best has been a problem for a long time. We’ve seen teams lose games because of it. We’ve experienced relationships ending prematurely as a result of this phenomenon. Overall we find numerous people giving up a cause because of it.

That’s how Cain was. He was the firstborn child of the first couple in the world. Can you imagine not having anyone else to be compared to? No smarter brother. No one that was cuter, funnier, or more adorable. Then, as all oldest siblings would complain, here came his little brother, Abel. Poor Abel—can you imagine being compared to a brother that, before you showed up, had no comparison? Sibling rivalry was birthed in Adam’s family!

Cain was a farmer, and Abel was a shepherd. When the time came to make an offering to God, Abel gave the very best he had, while Cain offered some of the mediocre grains. God was pleased with Abel’s offering and upset with Cain’s. Some Bible scholars feel this is because one was grain and the other was blood, the latter relating to the later blood sacrifices offered for people’s sins in Israel—a point that directly relates to the sacrifice of Jesus in His death. I tend to believe God’s displeasure was a result of Cain not offering his best, rather than the substance of the gift. Too many other verses in the Bible talk about giving what one can and doing so in a spirit of hilarious generosity. If it were the blood offering theory instead of grain, then Cain could argue he’d give blood if he were Abel!

Cain, like me, knew better. He knew, as I did, how to offer the best, but he chose not to try. It became easier to offer the second best. I offered excuses that some might buy, but inside I knew that if I tried doing better, it could have happened. I’m not suggesting I could have handled calculus, but I am saying I could have shot a little higher in my attempts at math as an offering to God than I did.

This situation with Cain and Abel caused more than just the normal sibling rivalry of having one brother better than the other. This one ended up with Cain killing his little brother. Luckily my older brother was smarter in math, eliminating the temptation to kill me. That temptation came to Allen for a variety of other reasons. The murder occurred simply because Cain wanted to hold out and not offer his best. Instead of dealing with God about the problem and revising his offering, he chose to remove the brotherly standard. I attempted the same through sarcasm, but Cain did so through murder. The problem is that the standard of being our best is held by God and not our brothers. Trouble came upon Cain because he chose to point to the correct answer in the book and not figure out and solve the problem. Cain did not have to go to the office for his easy answer. Instead, God placed a curse on him for the rest of his life. That’s similar to having the principal shadow you for the rest of time.

So what are you depending on the answers in the back for?

Peter: Did I Just Say That? (Luke 9:28–36)

I had the mixed blessing of serving on the Pastoral Leadership Team at Germantown Baptist Church. I say the blessing was mixed because of the story I am about to tell. The senior pastor put together this team, which was basically like having department heads on the crew. Being the recreation pastor gave me the opportunity to sit in with the leaders of music, education, administration, missions, and the top dogs—executive and senior pastors.

During one of the meetings, our media pastor gave word that the local ABC affiliate wanted to do an interview with someone on our pastoral staff. Suddenly calendars became full and meetings came up, leaving no one available for the interview except me. Having had years of speech and debate experience, I looked forward to the opportunity. Plus, who knew but that this opportunity might be my fifteen minutes of fame? Didn’t Walter Cronkite and Tom Brokaw basically start this way?

I quizzed the media pastor as to the topic of the interview, but he stated he did not know. The reporter wanted to get the off the top of the head type of response from one of us. Not a problem, I thought confidently. I used to have to make up stuff on the spot for the debate team in high school. Those on that squad were taught and well equipped to organize thoughts quickly. I had used this skill on numerous occasions when a pastor couldn’t lead on a Sunday- or Wednesday-night service. One time, I was told just as the service was beginning that I was going to speak. Using the back of the offering envelope found in the back of a pew as a notepad, I proceeded to pick out a three-point message. Churches are notorious for leaving offering envelopes in case the spirit of generosity should overcome the people in attendance.

This interview was going to be my path to greatness! Besides the public speaking training, I had learned years ago how to speak off the top of my head in responding to questions about my misbehavior in dealing with my parents, in which I believed the truth would not set me free. My thoughts were I got this!

I made a dash home during the lunch hour to change shirts and put on a tie. If I was going to make my network debut, I wanted to look good. One never knows who’s watching the ten o’clock Memphis news. Plus it would repeat the next morning on their early news broadcast.

The reporter came in and, keeping to the theme, didn’t share the topic with me. The crew put makeup on me, which supposedly made me look better. I still feel I have the perfect face for radio! They did some preliminary taping of me walking to