From Whence We Come

By Maurice W. Dorsey

Seymour Rose is an African American man who is gay. He was born to a father who is Catholic and accepts his son unconditionally and a mother who is born Methodist and is homophobicbut most of all, she tells her son throughout his life that she never wanted to have him.
Seymour reflects on three generations of his family history and often tells family stories to make sense of his years of emotional insecurity and feelings of being unloved and unwanted.
His mother is Estelle. She is a strong African American woman whose mother died when she was ten years old. Her father forced her to be surrogate wife and mother to her younger sister and brother. When the Great Depression of the late 1920s occurred and wiped out the familys finances, they were forced into a life of destitution. Never having enough money, she lived and dreamed of growing up and having a job and money of her own.
Her dream of having a job was put on hold when she learns she is pregnant. She married and, within a year of the first child, she gives birth to a second child. She is angry with herself because she wanted to go to work before having children.
Just as soon as she gets the first two children in grade school and she can live her dream of having a job, she learns she is pregnant again. This child is Seymour, and she repeatedly tells him in her disgust and frustration, Child, God wanted you here, boybecause I never wanted to have you!
Seymours reaction to his mothers persistent comments was to cling closer to his mother with hopes that, one day, she would tell him she loved him and wanted him. When he informs his mother that he is gay, this compounds her distaste for this child.
At the end of her life, Estelle reveals to Seymour her years of malcontent with her son, and he comes to terms with his mother and his family history.
This book is fictitious but based on a true story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 2, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543462890

Maurice W. Dorsey

Maurice W. Dorsey is the author of From Whence We Come, a novel based upon a true story; and Businessman First: Remembering Henry G. Parks, Jr., (1916–1989), Capturing the Life of a Businessman Who Was African American, A Biography. Of Time and Spirit is his third book. Since his retirement from the United States Department of Agriculture, National Institute of Food and Agriculture in 2012, he has been a writer, public speaker, and advocate for the LGBTQ community. He is a graduate of the University of Maryland, College Park, earning a bachelor of science degree in family and consumer sciences (1970) and a doctorate in philosophy in education (1983). He also earned a master’s degree in arts and sciences from the Johns Hopkins University (1975) and a master’s degree in education from Loyola University of Maryland (1976). He resides in Washington DC.

Book preview

PART ONE

Estelle’s Youth and Young Life

CHAPTER ONE

King and Anna

Washington, DC, was a bustling city in the early 1900s. The seat of the nation’s government was erected in all forms from the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial, expansive Pennsylvania Avenue, and the beautifully landscaped circle parks with corresponding statues commemorating Rear Admiral Samuel Francis DuPont, Major John A. Logan, and George Henry Thomas. These statues and many others symbolized the lives of the national and city leaders. Residents of means and influence were invited and welcomed in the homes of governmental representatives, senators, cabinet members, and the White House. The idea of desegregating the public schools was one of the topics of the day.

White citizens enjoyed great prosperity, and the society section of the Washington Post announced debutante balls, heads-of-state dinners, and grand receptions. Washingtonians who resided in Murder Bay and alley dwellings were not associated with the high-end affairs of the bustling city. They were then called colored people who lived in an area bounded by M, N, Ninth, and Tenth Streets. The homes were primitive and often with no running water. This was where immigrants and coloreds resided and was considered forbidden to whites. Many of the residents were sons and daughters of freedmen who had migrated from the South after the Emancipation. The conditions were nevertheless horrendous. Outbreaks of tuberculosis and cholera occurred.

With the failures of Reconstruction and the discrimination colored Washingtonians faced every day, the educated colored class maintained their pride although regularly insulted and ridiculed to their faces and behind their backs. Education, controlling their temper, and working beyond the required minimum was the way to get ahead. The concerns or troubles of immigrants and the coloreds were of no concern to the leaders of the city.

Harrison Cory was born to a respectable colored family. His mother gave birth to him late in his life. She was so happy to have given birth to a healthy baby boy that she loved, adored, and spoiled him. He was of fair complexion and became a good student in school. As he developed, his mother noticed he was becoming selfish. She decided to adopt a child with the hopes that Harrison would learn to share and socialize well with others. His mother later adopted a little girl near Harrison’s age. Harrison never liked the little girl and taunted her every opportunity that he could. He did everything he could to make his adopted sister feel unwelcome in their home.

In later years, when Harrison’s father died, his mother married for a second time to a man named Turnipseed. Harrison rebuked him as he did his adoptive sister. Subsequently, when his mother died, she stipulated in her will that her home was to be left to her son, Harrison—but her husband had lifetime residence. His mother was thinking her second husband would be dead long before her son, and thus her son would own the house. She wanted to be considerate of her second husband and the marriage they shared. In her mind, it was a simple and considerate thing to do considering she loved both men; thus Harrison and his stepfather lived together in the house.

Although Harrison never accepted his mother’s second husband, over time, he eventually hated his mother for placing a stipulation in her will giving him lifetime residence in the home. As it turned out, after his mother’s death, Turnipseed lived much longer than Harrison or his mother expected. Insult was added to Harrison’s injured feelings when he learned his stepfather remarried. He and his younger wife eventually had multiple children. Turnipseed and his new wife and children literally squeezed Harrison out of his own house. Harrison repeatedly tried to force Turnipseed out of the house, and when he refused, Harrison would shout to Turnipseed, You are a nasty man, and you have a nasty slave name! Harrison was furious because, legally, there was nothing he could do as his mother stated that her husband had lifetime residence in the house. He hated Turnipseed and his mother. Got dam her! he would say.

Harrison was not only feisty at home, he was feisty in the workplace as well. His white employers would call him Tom, and Harrison would retort, I am not your Tom, and I am not your Uncle Tom. My name is Harrison Cory, and that is spelled C-O-R-Y. And I expect to be addressed as such! It was not long after a few of these outbursts that Harrison was fired by his white employers. With building temper and fury, Harrison started his own handyman business. The business thrived.

As a young man, Harrison was known to be a sweet talker to the ladies, and they called him King. He would take the trains from Washington, DC, to New York and Philadelphia to the red-light districts to cavort with the ladies of the night in an attempt to hide and deceive his family and friends to the kind of proclivities he enjoyed. He thought his activities would go unnoticed if he was not playing around in his orchard—thus he played around in other orchards. He thought that he was pulling the wool over the eyes of his family and friends.

Harrison did not decide to marry until he was forty years old. When his body was not performing as they once had in his youth, he decided to give up the nightlife with women of the night. At this age, he remained self-centered, arrogant, and righteous. Although he never smoked tobacco or drank alcohol, he attended church every Sunday. Unknown to him, he repelled many people because of his pompousness, and some were not ignorant to what he was doing when he traveled to places where he had no family or friends. Some members of the church and community thought he was a hypocrite.

Anna, the young woman Harrison selected to be his wife, was twenty years of age when Harrison, age forty, persuaded her into marriage. Anna was from a prominent colored family in South Carolina. She was a sweet, kind, innocent young woman. She was extremely beautiful, educated, and poised as any white woman who was introduced to high society. She was of very fair complexion but still considered colored. She was a devout church leader and aspired to be a Christian missionary. She had a twin sister. Anna was the weaker of the two babies and was always susceptible to illness. Their parents were partial to non-African names and gave each of their children European names, a snobbery that distinguished them from the field colored from the Deeper South.

When Anna accepted Harrison’s hand in marriage, she had never lived in a city before and was totally naïve to the kind of life Harrison was living before she accepted his proposal. All she knew was that he went to church and did not smoke tobacco or drink alcohol. She found these characteristics acceptable in a man. She did not realize just how worldly he really was or what his insatiable desires were for women. His bachelorhood life was a secret to her. Harrison wanted to keep it this way. He was told by his gentlemen friends in the cities that if he wanted to marry and get an untouched woman, he needed to go to the South, where the girls were more moral. Harrison took their advice. With Anna’s sweetness and innocence, he could control and manipulate her to his desires. She was not hardened and tough like the women of the red-light districts.

Shortly after Harrison married Anna, they moved to a very nice row house in northwest Washington, DC. This was considered very upscale for colored people to own a home on the west side of the district. Together, they had three children: Estelle, Anise, and Harrison Jr. Anna loved her children and deeply revered them. She used delicate hands and showered them with all the love and affection she would have offered others while conducting the missionary work she performed in the church. They all lived as comfortably as colored people lived during the era. Harrison’s handyman business was thriving, and he was bringing home a more-than-adequate sum of money, and Anna could stay at home with the children and not work outside of the home. Harrison owned a car, and he allowed Anna to furnish the home to her taste and desires. They attended church services commonly, and Anna could continue the community missionary work she loved. Harrison gave up his trips to New York and Philadelphia and lived a Christian life with his family. The children attended public schools that were rated among the finest public schools in the country for colored children. They were segregated schools, but their neighborhood was not.

Estelle was the firstborn of Harrison and Estelle’s three children. She was born to a very stable colored family. Estelle was bright and very sturdy for a girl. She was every bit as feisty as her father and learned how to brag about her station in life. As a young child, she knew she was living better than most of her peers. Harrison and Estelle distinguished themselves as a born-free colored with no slavery in their heritage. They both had been spoiled and had fair complexions to boot. To be fair-complexioned in the color heritage was a commodity. Being of fair complexion as a colored provided a few more privileges not available to their darker counterparts.

Anise, the second child, was like her mother—very domesticated, thin, and sickly. She was extremely well-read but unbelievably naïve. She too was also of fair complexion, tall, and reserved. Although naïve, she, in her head, had a mind of her own; but as a child, she was obedient and did as she was told.

Harrison Jr. was the third child. He was handsome, almost pretty. He had the darkest complexion among the three children and was considered the least bright. Harrison Sr. severely punished his son for not being as bright as the girls, for after all, he was going to be a man someday and needed to have the wit to take care of a family. Harrison Sr. did not like his son representing the male species in a lesser manner than the girls. He would say, What kind of man are you going to be? He also applied a little extra pressure and punishment to his son for having a darker complexion too.

After ten years of marriage to Harrison Sr., Anna became very ill and died. It was suspected that Harrison—through all his bachelorhood sexual escapades—transmitted a disease to Anna that she did not know she had. The death certificate never made such a mention. Anna was a highly Christian woman, and such a revelation after her death would have disgraced the family—the devoted daughter, wife, and mother. No evidence was ever brought forward.

Deathbed requests were strictly adhered to in families during this time. Anna’s deathbed request to her husband Harrison was this: If one of my three sisters do not accept all three of my children, I want you to care for them. I do not want my children separated.

As Harrison and the three children stood around Anna’s deathbed, Estelle listened to what her mother was saying. As her mother was whispering her last words, Estelle simultaneously thought about the implications to her if her mother died. She knew her father to be lazy, both at work and at home, and he would relegate as much as he could to somebody—anybody but himself. He would pawn off any work to keep from doing it himself. She knew for sure that all the work of running the house would fall to her after her mother died. At ten years old, Estelle knew how to get things done; and as it turned out, that is what came to pass.

Even the gods in heaven knew that at the age of fifty, Harrison Sr. did not want to raise three children alone; but it would have been sacrilege not to honor his wife’s request. In the eyes of his Christian peers, he would have been outed as a horrible husband and father. With all his arrogance and boastfulness, he relented within himself to follow his wife’s desires since neither of Anna’s sisters would accept all three children.

He did not wait a whole day after the burial of his wife to dump Anna’s household work on Estelle. When the family returned home after the church services, he took off his coat and hat and looked at Estelle and, with the sweetest of smiles, said, Daughter, what do you think we will have for dinner tonight? Estelle knew her father was sweet-talking her, and she hated it. She was the oldest and the girl. Men didn’t know how to cook, she was always told. Estelle’s attitude was this: If they get hungry, they will figure how to cook or they would just die! She always thought her mother was too naïve and fell for everything Harrison said to her while he worked the frail woman to the bone. Estelle thought her mother should be stronger, stand up, and speak up to her husband. Anna would have replied that it was not permissible or proper for a lady to be insolent.

Estelle knew that regardless of what she thought this meant, she had to go to the kitchen and figure out what they were going to eat. She had learned in Sunday school that children were to honor their mother and father. As her Christian duty, she did as she was told; but within, she did not like it. She vowed that if she ever married, she was speaking up to her husband come hell or high water. She was not going to be played as a sucker as most men treated their women. She would complain to her sister Anise, Yeah, they are all lovey-dovey when they are dating you. And after they get you, they work you halfway to death! No. I am not going to let some man treat me that way!

As the days passed, she found ways of managing the household chores of cooking, washing, ironing, and taking care of Anise and Harrison Jr. She was not as well organized as her mother, but she got the job done. Anise was so frightened of every little thing and remained sickly; she was of little help to Estelle. Harrison Jr. was frightened too and grieved the death of his mother. He was too young to be of help to Estelle. Further, Harrison Sr. would have forbidden Estelle from giving Harrison Jr. what he thought to be women’s work. In a short period, Estelle saw Anise and Harrison Jr. as her children. In the beginning, she liked being the grownup and telling her sister and brothers what to do; but eventually, the many household tasks were becoming overwhelming for a child so young. In addition, Harrison Sr. made them all go to school.

Harrison Sr. saw just how well his daughter was managing the household. He thought just like a white slave master and squeezed as much out of his daughter as he could get out of her young body. He called her downstairs one day and told her to go change the flat tire on the broken-down old truck. Classmates and neighbors could see Estelle from their windows struggling to change a tire. After watching her struggle for some period of time, a gentleman from the neighborhood would come out and help her. This was Harrison Sr.’s intent. He knew she could not change the tire, but he was shrewd enough to give her the chore, knowing somebody would come along and help her. He would look on from the living room window with a smile of victory. Harrison always felt victorious when he get one over on somebody. Just as long as he did not have to do it, he was fine. He operated his business the same way and paid meager wages to his employees.

At the end of each day, Estelle was dead tired. Harrison Sr. was insensitive to Estelle’s fatigue. When the next morning arrived and it was time for more work, school, or church, Harrison Sr. would yell through the house for the children to get out of bed. Anise and Harrison Jr. would awaken and get dressed, but they would not leave the bedroom until Estelle awakened and told them what to do next. They too looked at Estelle as their mother and protector against this harsh old man.

Estelle was so tired she could barely move her body most mornings. After Harrison Sr. yelled out a second time and got no movement from the children, he would simply go to the bedroom they shared, and on the coldest winter mornings, he would open the windows wide to let the bitter cold air in the room. Then he would pull all the covers off Estelle’s bed, close the door, and leave the room. He would say to Anise and Harrison Jr. as they stood dressed but now cold and frozen with fear. He would laugh and say, I bet Estelle will get her little butt up now! Harrison Sr. showed no sympathy to Estelle’s fatigue or the children’s feelings. He was a cold and angry man.

Anna, upon her death, never could have foreseen that the fate of her children would be left in the hands of a cold and insensitive man. She was beautifully laid to rest. Harrison—also known in his bachelorhood as King—was on the road to raising three children on his own. This was a role he could never have forecasted for himself. This was his new reality.

CHAPTER TWO

Motherless Children

The comfortable life that Estelle, Anise, and Harrison Jr. had known before Anna’s death was gone. Harrison Sr. had put all of them to work before they were teenagers. Their childhood had been stripped away. Estelle had control of the household. She managed the money, grocery-shopped, cooked, and cleaned. Anise washed and dried all the dishes and washed and ironed all the clothes. She also made sewing and clothing alterations to their hand-me-down clothes. Harrison Jr. had to learn to push the manual lawn mower, shovel snow from the steps, and shovel coal for the coal stove during the winter months.

Estelle worked as hard as she could to restore family life just as her mother had done. As critical as she was toward her mother, she knew she was no comparison to her mother’s patience with the children, her fine Southern cooking, or hand-finishing the laundry to perfection. She knew she was just like her father in strength and durability. She was opinionated, loud, and had poor nerves when there was too much commotion around her. Estelle’s meals were not as tasty, the laundry not as clean and bright, and assistance with the children’s homework was skipped when Harrison Sr. attended his nights out at the men’s club.

He was a dutiful third-degree Mason. Anise was always whining that she never felt good. Harrison Jr., the youngest, cried, continuing to grieve the loss of his mother. He was too young to fully understand where she had gone. Harrison Sr. was in a poor disposition most of the time and was harsh with all the children, but especially Harrison Jr. because he expected the boy to step up and assume the heavy work he wanted to relegate to him as soon as possible.

If one of the children was out of line, all three of them got a whipping. Estelle thought that was asinine. She was stronger, so she took what was coming to her and moved right along. Anise was so frail, Harrison did not whip her has hard. But what Anise did not get, the balance was added to Harrison Jr. When Harrison Sr. planned to punish his children, he would send one of them to the backyard and tell them, Go outside and get me a switch for your whipping, then come on back in here, take off your clothes, and call me when you are ready. Anise and Harrison Jr. started to cry before the switch was brought. They feared their father, but Estelle did not. She was smart enough to know that the little thin branches left welts, so she would pick a dry branch. They did not hurt as bad and would sometimes break. She was shrewd like her father.

Estelle was the child that was most often out of line because she spoke up about her displeasure about having most of the responsibility while Anise got little or nothing to do and Harrison Jr. was much too young to even know what was going on. Anise got the lightest of the whipping because she was frail and sickly like her mother. Harrison Sr. was fearful of harming her. Harrison Jr.—the youngest, most obedient, and least deserving—got the heaviest hand of all the children because he was a gentle spirit. He purely hated his father. Harrison Sr. could see through his son’s attitude that his son disliked him, but he did nothing to make it right. Harrison Jr. was too young to defend himself from his father’s torture.

Although Estelle felt sorry for Harrison Jr., she would say to him as he cried, I can stop what I am doing and pamper you, or I can cook this food and give you something to eat. So do you think you can stop crying? Eating will keep you alive—crying about whatever you are crying about won’t. Some days, Estelle, like her father, lacked compassion for Harrison Jr. She was of the opinion that she had enough to do and he was not the only victim. She and Anise got whippings too. And after they arrived at school in the mornings, the students ostracized them too. Most days, she did not have time to feel sorry for him and pamper him. Nobody was getting Anna’s love now, and she did not have the time to perform all the household chores and love them too! On various occasions, Harrison Jr. would try to charm a hug or a kiss from his sister as he had his mother. Estelle would look at him and give a halfhearted hug and afterward say Look, boy, you are asking for too much sugar for a cent!

Neither of the two girls had clothes that fit like the clothes Anna had hand-sewn for them. Anna sewed her children’s clothing to fit as if tailored. After Anna died, Anise would take old newspapers and cut a pattern to sew a dress as Anna had taught her. Estelle, on the other hand, would take the hand-me- down clothes given to them by compassionate lady neighbors, affix a large safety pin in the waist, and go to school. She did not have the time to be prissy like her sister. Estelle thought Anise was much neater in her dress and was just as good a seamstress as their mother. While Estelle conversed with her sister while she sewed on their clothes, she would say, Anise, child, all that work you put into those hand-me-down rags and we still look like homemade sin! Most of the time, their hair was not properly combed. They did not have money for toothpaste, so their teeth were dingy and stained. Their shoes were worn to one side and needed a good polishing. The neighbors would look out their windows and say, Look at those poor motherless children. Classmates would shout out in the school hallways, Catch-it, catch-it, those children have chinches. Catch-it! And they stamped their feet behind Estelle and Anise, laughing out loud as they made fun of the two girls.

The struggle being motherless children was daily. There school lunches were meager, so they were hungry. Their winter coats had holes that barely kept them warm. After they arrived at school, they still looked poorly dressed and unkempt. Through it all, Estelle kept the strength of the family for both Anise and Harrison Jr. It was very difficult. She taught them all she knew on how to survive the cruel aspects of the school environment. Harrison Sr. managed his handyman business as the children struggled side by side.

CHAPTER THREE

The Great Depression

As if things were not bad enough for Estelle and the Harrison Cory household, the Great Depression arrived with all its gloom and desolation. The once bustling Washington, DC, was also in for a shock for both the rich and the poor. For the wealthy families who had their money invested in high-risk equities, many were losing it all due to the collapses of the stock market. For those who had very little money, many of them were losing their jobs. There was a sharp increase in unemployment that drove up the rate of homelessness. The New York Times and the Washington Post posted stories of men shooting themselves in the head and pictures of millionaires who were jumping out of windows twenty stories high because they had lost everything. Photographs of the homeless standing in soup lines were being taken all over the country.

The Harrison Cory family was no exception. Harrison lost a great number of customers who had hired him to make handyman repairs on their spacious homes and embassies in the upper northwest quadrant of the city and had patronized him for years. Eventually, he lost the prestigious home he and Anna purchased in the northwest for nonpayment of the mortgage, forcing him to sell the house at a loss and losing all the equity he had paid. Harrison had to take the little money that he had and scramble to find more affordable housing for his children in the southeast quadrant of the city—an area of the city relegated to low-income colored people. This was such a blow to his arrogant nature and feelings of superiority.

Estelle knew she was doing her part in running the house, and it was up to her father to figure out how the money was going to be generated. She was not worried, and her modeling this behavior stilled and calmed Anise and Harrison Jr. Whatever she said or did, Anise and Harrison Jr. followed like puppy dogs behind Estelle. She had become their mother. She had noticed, however, that Harrison Sr. was bringing home less and less money for her to pay the milkman, the bread man, and the insurance man who came to the front door to collect payments and premiums on a weekly basis. Estelle had the common sense to just tell these men that her father was not home and she did not have the money. Although she was strong and bold, the collectors did not taunt or harass her because they knew that she was just a child and a girl too. Women were not expected to earn the money for the household—but the milk and bread deliveries stopped, and the insurance lapsed.

Some nights, Estelle and the children would go to bed hungry. Harrison Jr. would sometimes cry with hunger pangs. Estelle would say to him, Hush crying. Go drink a glass of water and go to bed! In the morning, I will have something for you to eat! Estelle was lying to calm her brother. She also lied because she could not tolerate his crying. She had no idea where she was going to get any food. It was late, and the stores were closed. Harrison Sr. had not returned home from work with any money, so she really did not know what she was going to do.

Early the next morning, Harrison Sr. finally arrived home. He awakened Estelle and had her run to the corner store to get four eggs and four potatoes. Estelle was hungry, so she hurried to get out of the bed and dressed to get to the store just as soon as it opened. When she returned home, she swiftly got to the kitchen and prepared the potatoes and eggs. Estelle had begged the man to throw in a few slices of bacon. The grocer knew the Cory family was struggling. He gave her several slices of bacon and made her swear to keep her mouth shut because he could not feed the whole neighborhood. When Harrison Jr. awakened, Estelle had prepared the best breakfast they had in several months. In Harrison Jr.’s mind, Estelle told him the truth the night before.

The next day, Harrison Sr. would return home at the end of the day or late in the evening with just some change, telling Estelle to go the local food market to get something to eat. Estelle would look at the inadequate money, knowing that she would not be able to get a meat, starch, and vegetable to make a full meal. She learned to haggle with the market merchants, and they would sell her day-old bread and a bushel of greens with the money she had. When she returned, she served the bread and greens. Everyone missed the meat, but nothing was said. Each day, they ate whatever the merchants had left over and could not sell. They would take Estelle’s pit tens, and Estelle took the day-old food. The family would eat that same food for three meals—greens for breakfast, greens for lunch, and greens for dinner.

This continued until the economy recovered and Harrison could get increased day labor. It was a struggle, but they survived. Harrison was very proud of Estelle and would say after a meal, Daughter, you did a good job today keeping body and soul together!

Anise and Harrison Jr. were never recognized. Anise was mute. Waves of profound resentment flowed through Harrison Jr.’s bones, but he learned to keep his mouth shut. His father’s punishments for insubordination were severe. The punishment for his slow learning was harsh enough; and in addition, he did not want Estelle and Anise to get whipped too. Thus he learned with agony to keep his