The Cubicle Diaries: Volume II

By Otter Holmes

Set in a scandalous, cut-throat workplace, The Cubicle Diaries follows the lives of officemates who experience the repercussions of mixing business and pleasure. As the follow-up to There’s Something in the Coffee, this satirical drama details and mocks what most people go through without even knowing it and before it’s too late, it is too late. Headed as everyone’s muse and on occasional rival, Derek Johnston returns and leads the chaos into more tangled webs one could never imagine getting in to while on the clock. Friends Close, Coworkers Closer experiences what really happens to one when they get too close to their coworkers all while trying to climb up the corporate ladder and make a name for yourself. Flushed with LOL jaw-dropping moments, laced with over the top shenanigans, relatable and entertaining in almost any way possible, this installment of the series reminds us that anything can happen in our workplace, and anyone is collateral damage, especially if surviving in Los Angeles has to do with it. One thing is for sure, after reading and digesting this page turner, we will all know that it is better to keep your friends close and your coworkers closer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524505073

Otter Holmes

Originally from Los Angeles, California, Otter Holmes currently resides in Chicago, Illinois. He enjoys travelling, photography, & being a good story teller.

Book preview

PART I

FOLLOW-UP PENDING

T his is far from over, Derek thought vengefully. Payback was the only thing on his mind. Derek was reluctant to return to work. He didn't want to have to face the Shady Bunch. He didn't know what story to give when people asked him how the weekend-getaway-from-hell went. Derek didn't know whether he should give the real story or the short one of it was something to do. He wasn't sure if it was going to be an instant showdown, or if anything would go down at all. Derek knew he had to go to work because he didn't want the Shady Bunch to think they had won and that they had scared him away. One thing was for sure, besides his appetite for revenge, Derek was uncertain about everything . As Derek parked his sports coupe in The Firm Firm's parking lot, he assured himself he was ready to face the music and see how the Shady Bunch would act toward him come first contact.

Jack and Derek were the first to cross paths. Jack had the audacity to smile right in Derek's face like nothing ever happened, just like the little bitch he was. Jack and Derek didn't exchange any words. Derek looked at Jack and completely ignored him when he saw that stupid-ass smirk grow right across Jack's young-looking, clean-shaven face. The fuckin' nerve! Derek thought to himself. But deep down, everyone from that weekend knew nothing was OK. No one was ready to throw in the towel or wave the white flag.

Emily was there to be a shoulder to cry on for Derek, and she did what she did best: lead Derek on that she was there for him. Emily comforted Derek. After work, Emily went to Burberry on Rodeo Drive and bought Derek an expensive wallet to cheer him up in lieu of the one he lost. Emily told Derek he needed a change. No more Gucci! Emily demanded as she handed Derek an off-white colored box that had a deep red bow perfectly wrapped around it. Derek didn't tell her the casino called him back and told him his wallet was found, and that they were going to be mailing it back to him that day. Derek only gave Emily the watered down version of everything that transpired that night at the whackass Las Vegas club for Jack's birthday because they were at work. He didn't want to get into detail at all. Plus, Derek wanted Emily to see what the Shady Bunch had to say first, and see how they were going to try and win her over before he did.

Derek's poor choices opened him an economy sized can of worms. Derek felt forced to isolate himself at work. He pulled himself together and told himself to stay strong and try not to make his emotions looks so obvious. The last thing Derek needed was to have more fake people up in his shit asking him more questions about his personal life, acting like they cared when in reality all they wanted to do was have something to gossip about and make their own irrelevant lives relevant. No one at The Firm Firm seemed to remember that personal lives should not bleed into their professional one. Derek knew he should've not gone to Vegas. Derek was down in the dirt. He felt like maybe he was being a little too dramatic. And to have to sit there and still be productive in his cubicle acting like nothing was wrong when really shit was all over the walls because it did more than hit the fan, Derek was out of it. He might as well have been the president of the United States.

Jackass was getting exactly what he wanted: fame in the office. Jack was ready to tear Derek an entire new one and make him completely irrelevant in the office. Jack even started to consider transferring to Derek's department to recruit his immediate coworkers, position, and pay next. So far, Jackass and his minions succeeded at what they wanted. Derek felt out of place and unwelcome despite feeling on top of the world just over a week ago. And if Gwendolyn was involved, she was bound to make someone's life miserable out of it. That was her specialty. Gwendolyn was bitter inside and out. When she wasn't trying to ruin Emily, she plotted to take her next victim down: Aubrey. The grin that appeared on her face when she saw Derek and Aubrey leaving the office suggested only one thing.

Derek and Aubrey went to lunch. He broke everything down to her about what really happened at the weekend-getaway-from-hell, as he described it. Derek was raw. He sugarcoated nothing. He wanted to be honest and upfront. He didn't want to look like a liar, because he had no idea what was already being said about him. That was the last label he needed. Many stories could've circled around already, and Derek didn't want to take any chances. The Shady Bunch acted like they had said nothing, but looks were deceiving, especially at The Firm Firm. There wasn't something in the coffee, there was something in the air ducts; these people were full-on infected. It was definitely now a game of friends close, coworkers closer. Everyone was an enemy, and everyone was willing to do anything to be on top. Derek was the victim in this matter, for once, but he was not crying for aid, he was striving for one thing only: revenge. Derek found warmth and compassion in Aubrey. Aubrey was sympathetic. Not once did she express that she was judging him. This tragic event for Derek brought them together besides their fondness for marijuana. Aubrey knew the rules of Vegas: anything goes. She knew what Derek was all about and what the Shady Bunch lacked. Aubrey even said herself she wasn't feeling the group that was going. Aubrey knew they were not her crowd. She knew that the first day they all started at The Firm Firm.

Derek and Aubrey had a long Mexican lunch at Casa Vega. They had a few margaritas to loosen each other's nerves. The restaurant's low lighting made it all the better. Derek promised Aubrey and himself he was going to get the last word out of it all. He promised and said out loud to her in a deep stare that even scared her, They are all going to pay. Each and every one of them. Then he took the last sip of his margarita before they headed back to work. With the tequila from his margaritas running through his hot, lean body, Derek was given a strong boost of confidence. He was ready to go back to the office and show them all who the real boss was. He was going to show them he was Derek Johnston. He wasn't going to let the Shady Bunch get the best of him or the worst. He was going to refresh their memory on why they were afraid of him in the first place. Derek stood up, he shook himself off, and said confidently and hotly, Let's go, I have follow-up pending. Aubrey smiled and grabbed her oversized purse.

Derek acted like none of the Shady Bunch existed when he crossed paths with them back at the office. He acted like the weekend-getaway-from-hell was just a nightmare he had in his cubicle versus all the fantasies he usually had in it. The Shady Bunch was shocked to see Derek's reaction upon arrival back to work late and his sudden change of confidence in everything. Derek didn't care about going back to work late. He had Pasqual to take care of things like that for him.

Derek called Emily on her extension to tell her about his reclaimed confidence and that he felt a little better, but she didn't answer. Derek purposely walked by Pasqual's office to see what he was doing. Like the slacker he was, Pasqual made it very obvious he was on a personal call, a lengthy one as usual. Derek quickly put two and two together and let it go. Emily never called Derek back either.

Before the weekend-getaway-from-hell, Ghetto Gwendolyn let everyone know in advance what her plans were for her birthday. She told everyone early and made it clear that she wanted no excuses on why no one could attend. Ghetto Gwendolyn wanted everyone there and wanted everyone to accommodate everything around her and her day, like an over-the-top diva. Gwendolyn was under the impression she was the queen bee and wanted everyone to bow down to her. Mainly she just wanted people to rave about her birthday to everyone so she could look cool and boost the confidence she lacked. Ghetto Gwendolyn wanted to overrule Jack's birthday by 110 percent, and with the Shady Bunch beefing it with Derek, they were going to prove their friendship was securely bonded by throwing an event that did not contain a dramatic ending scene with him in it. Ghetto Gwendolyn wanted attention and attention was what she was going to get.

Gwendolyn originally included Derek in her gathering, but given what happened at the weekend-getaway-from-hell that all changed. In reciprocation, there was no way in hell Derek was going to show his face around those inexperienced losers, those social imposters as he put it. Derek called them that from now on whenever he referred to them as a whole. Derek saw them all as pathetic posers, too. He knew there was no real bond there. Their only bond was trying to tear him down.

While in his cubicle pretending to work as usual with a slight buzz from lunch, Derek plotted on his soon-to-be rampage against the Shady Bunch. With her birthday just around the corner, Ghetto Gwendolyn was first on his list, besides having Jack always at the top of it. Drama was all over the office and it was planning to stay permanently.

Since Gwendolyn gave away her plans already, Devious Derek decided how he would ruin them inside and out. He had a backup plan for his backup plan just so he could for sure have Gwendolyn squirm on the day she opted for the most attention. Like everything else, it all practically fell right into Derek's lap.

Devious Derek planned a fake event at the same place where Ghetto Gwendolyn was having hers. Of course, The Noir Bar, the place where Gwendolyn was planning to have her shindig at, already told Derek they were booked, but Derek worked his skills to get what he wanted. Derek managed to buy out the entire venue. Derek had a hacker friend hack into one of his beloved coworkers' account and run a tab, a very large one, on their dime. Derek's hacker friend told Derek he would increase the credit card limit so the lucky victim would possibly have to file bankruptcy.

Do whatever you need to do and send yourself to Europe, Derek told his anonymous hacker friend on his cell phone in his car in the parking lot with the windows rolled up and air conditioner on. The hacker friend owed Derek big time, and this was just considered a small favor. So many people owed Derek favors, and this was just one he thought of that he could cash in on. Derek had connects, and now, for Derek, it was the best time to start cashing them in. All those nights partying in Hollywood and networking had really paid off for Derek. Derek didn't just meet groupies, whores, and celebrities, he met people, useful people, real people.

As soon as Gwendolyn learned her party plans were ruined, she not only threw the biggest bitch fit, she also had no other choice but to have to come up with a plan B. Her problem was she had no plan B. She was so confident that everything was going to work out she thought why bother? The Noir Bar didn't tell Gwendolyn until the last minute, the very last minute. Literally. They didn't even want to refund her the deposit she put down either. The ghetto in Gwendolyn erupted when she got the news via text as she painted her eyebrows with an imitation sharpie. The Noir Bar didn't text her until half an hour before her event started. Since Derek's payment outruled her by 100 percent, she was one of the first to lose out. Fuck responding, I'm calling these motherfuckers! Ghetto Gwendolyn said as she clenched her cell phone. The Noir Bar also told Gwendolyn she couldn't go and try and crash the place as a guest either. We've met capacity, the bartender said before he hung up on Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn was so pissed that she messed up her eyebrows and now she looked more surprised than ever.

"It's Gwendolyn's party and she will cry if she wants to, Derek said to himself happily as he got ready for the last-minute party he'd planned courtesy of Gwendolyn. Happy Birthday, G! This one is for you!" Derek added cheerfully. He picked up his Jack and Coke and toasted to himself in the mirror. Derek was suited in a black Armani long-sleeved shirt. He thought it was the right call for the occasion.

Gwendolyn's tragedy not only burned her out, but all her little shady-mates, too. On the contrary, it gave Derek much pleasure. Gwendolyn was forced to call off her event altogether. The tears that formed in her eyes smeared her gangsterlike eyeliner.

Some of the people who were going to attend Gwendolyn's party still found something to do. They ended up going their own way and didn't opt to party with Gwendolyn at all. MC and Oscar, who had been secretly hooking up since he and Celia called it quits, decided to meet up. Oscar was planning to accidently run into MC at The Noir Bar, but now they didn't need to put on a charade. They simply made plans of their own. MC was really being hush about her affair because of Oscar's latest scandal, but most of all she was hush about it because she didn't want Gavin to find out. It would've devastated him. Neither of them would know where to start when it came to explaining how they came to be. MC and Gavin were supposedly BFFs, best frenemies forever, but everyone knew that when people became BFFs courtesy of The Firm Firm, it was a friendship that consisted of secrets that the other kept from the other; the validity was more than questionable.

MC and Oscar started hooking up after the employee appreciation party at the Chophouse. They crossed paths at the bathroom before MC left. She decided to hang out with Gwendolyn as she tried to make the moves on Oscar. MC laughed because she knew Gwendolyn wasn't going to get anywhere with Oscar, but she gave her friend the boost of confidence she oh so lacked. MC went to the bathroom, again, before she left, and Oscar followed her. He waited outside until she was done dropping a bomb, and then decided to hit on her. MC reciprocated. She hoped she didn't smell, and flirted right back. She gave him her number, and Oscar said, It'll be our little secret. MC made Oscar leave first so no smell followed her.

Minerva called Derek to see what he was doing. She invited him to the bar she was going to be at. Derek hopped on the invitation, especially when he knew Luke was going to be in attendance. Plus, Derek was happy because he knew his plan had successfully worked. Minerva's call was confirmation. Derek called Emily to see where she was at, but she didn't answer. Derek gave Emily the benefit of the doubt and called her again, twice. The calls went straight to voicemail. Emily had her phone off. She was obviously hiding and she didn't want people to know where she was or whom she was with. Derek became very annoyed. His teeth gritted, he thought evilly, This is only the beginning . . . Evil thoughts ran through Derek's mind while on his way to meet Minerva and Luke. Derek reminded himself, Everyone is an enemy.

It's not over, Derek said to himself as he pulled into the parking lot of the bar where Minerva and Luke were at. Derek played dirty and did whatever he needed to for revenge. No one knew what Derek was capable of, not even him.

DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE

D erek understood the type of relationship he and Emily had. He understood his position in their twisted love triangle and was fine with it. It was not like he wanted strings attached either, or did he? After days of dodging him, Emily and Derek finally talked. Emily pretended to be happy for Derek because his spirits were lifted. She egged him on that everything was going to be fine. She insisted they hang out, so she and Derek arranged to have a little play date. They went to a cute little sushi house in Santa Monica off of Bundy Drive. They had a blast. Everything was great. They were in heaven, or actually back to heaven. It was probably the closest Emily was going to get to heaven, because given the amount of sins she committed as a Christian, she was headed somewhere else, somewhere a little more south. Derek and Emily felt as if they were the only people on the planet, courtesy of the fluid amount of undivided attention he gave her. Despite knowing where and how he stood in the so-called relationship, Derek couldn't help but begin to grow deeper feelings for Emily. Emily had Derek by the balls. She knew it and so did he, and she took it for granted. And all Emily did was continue to let her fake feelings grow. For a quick second she actually started to feel something, but her heart belonged somewhere else, to someone else's someone else. Derek told Emily everything about his weekend-getaway-from-hell for Jack's birthday, and she was appalled. She couldn't believe it. She was mad and pissed that they would act like that. Emily began to badmouth the Shady Bunch, and she even made fun of them for acting like they all knew it all. Emily was mainly shocked at how Gavin acted.

Manly? Emily said, her crinkled forehead expressing pure confusion. She then took a sip of her hot sake. Even Evil Emily, The Christian, knew how the rules of Vegas went, and she always played by them. Good, too. Pasqual loved Vegas, and she loved going with him.

Derek won Emily over with his sad story. Emily expressed sympathy, deep sympathy, but it was all a sham. Only to an extent did she feel bad for him, but for the most part she had no real emotions to share. Emily was becoming more and more of an actress. She even believed herself at times. Subtly she kept looking at the time so she could prepare when Pasqual was going to call.

When it came to Emily, Derek was oblivious. Ignorance was more than bliss. Ignorance was intelligence. Derek knew Emily had the tendency to lie and was as bad as the next person on The Firm Firm's payroll, but he always gave her the benefit of the doubt, like an idiot. Derek always brushed everything aside for Emily. He was her fool. He was beginning to really fall for her and she knew it.

Driving in a one-way direction, also, Emily was sprung on Pasqual. Pasqual loved being at the top of the food chain. Emily's biggest problem was Pasqual's wife. Emily needed to find a way to get rid of her once and for all.

While having sushi and enjoying their good buzz off of hot sake and beer, Emily and Derek decided to renew each other as each other's valentine. Derek forgot all about last Valentine's Day. They began to make all sorts of plans. Derek plotted the best Valentine's Day for them. He was willing to go all out and show a romantic side of himself that he didn't even know existed: champagne and strawberries, sushi, chocolate covered strawberries, more sushi, candles, a nice picnic by a swan pond with a red and white flannelled blanket, holding each other as the sun set, having sex in public, the whole shebang. The more Derek talked, the more Emily egged him on, on how romantic it would all be. Derek was under the impression Emily would comfort him all through his low time. He also knew that Pasqual was really going to be spending Valentine's Day with his wife, so basically they were just using each other for comfort. That seemed to be the only real foundation of their relationship. Everyone was using everyone. Plus, no one wanted to be alone on Valentine's Day. Everything seemed perfect for each of them. After their itinerary was laid out, Emily and Derek did a sake bomb in favor of Valentine's Day.

The next day, Emily broke their entire plan off with Derek, via text. She claimed she had to do something with her church. Derek knew Emily was lying. Emily threw her plans with Derek in Pasqual's face when he broke the news that they weren't going to see each other at all, not in the early morning or late night, and Pasqual was furious. He forbade Emily to see Derek. Pasqual didn't care. He put his foot down, hard. Emily tried to stand her ground, too, but ultimately Pasqual won when he threatened to fire Derek if she saw him. Emily froze when she heard what Pasqual said he would do. That was when she knew he was serious and this was one battle she wasn't going to win with him. Pasqual was and sounded so serious it frightened her.

Derek saw the text and was pissed. He replied with no response, just a blank text. He had nothing to say to her. That's it! Derek thought. He was so pissed. Pissed! He felt like he had been betrayed by too many people from the office. Derek knew it was because of Pasqual. Last Valentine's Day he let it slide, but this one was too much. Derek felt stupid because everyone at the office had deceived him in one way or another for their own agenda. People of The Firm Firm were really beginning to take Derek's kindness for granted. The Firm Firm made Derek the disgruntled employee he became. What did I do for this treatment? Derek thought to himself, feeling sorry for himself. Everyone was now an enemy in Derek's eyes. He was going to put his own foot down. He switched gears to Emily. He had Gwendolyn out of the way, and now he was going to get Emily. She had played him one too many times. Enough is enough. Shame on me! Derek thought. Derek could feel his blood pumping, nervousness filled his body. And then, I'll get MC and Gavin at the same time! Two birds, one stone, Derek said vengefully, ready to break his phone after rereading Evil Emily's text.

Derek knew about MC and Oscar because Mingche told Louva, and Louva told Derek. Louva knew he wouldn't say anything because he was no longer affiliated with the Shady Bunch, but Louva forgot the fact that the information was good blackmail material for Derek to use on Oscar since he was forbidden to date girls from The Firm Firm, or did she? And what the affair would do to MC and Gavin's friendship, especially since in Gavin's eyes his uncle was perfect and lived the perfect life happily married to his aunt. Gavin would never trust MC again, and he would never look at his uncle the same. Gavin would be forced to tell the truth to his aunt. Derek knew this would all do some serious damage and have a massive ripple effect. Derek thought of all the possibilities. An evil grin appeared on his handsome face. It was a grin that seemed to appear a lot more than usual lately.

It was a new day, and Derek had his game face on when he arrived at the office, late. Derek showed up late on purpose. To get back at Evil Emily, Derek made Melanie his valentine and flourished her with gifts. He did his best to throw it all in Emily's face. He even bought Melanie a charm bracelet from Tiffany's. Melanie was so surprised; Emily was so hurt. Emily had been telling Derek she wanted that charm bracelet for the longest, and Derek gave it to Melanie right in front of Emily. After Emily and Derek parted from their sushi date the day they made their Valentine's Day plans, Derek rushed to the Tiffany's store in Beverly Hills to get it. Derek wasn't lying when he said he wanted to get romantic on Emily, and she blew it to be blown off. Derek saw that his romantic gesture to Melanie hit Emily where it hurt her the most. As Christian as she was, Emily was also materialistic. Derek didn't care because he compared it to the hurt he felt in his heart that she caused him.

Pasqual walked past Derek's cubicle shamelessly. He acted like nothing had happened. Derek greeted Pasqual in a sarcastic tone. Pasqual reciprocated. He had no remorse about ruining Derek's weekend or love life. Derek was madder at Emily for listening to Pasqual than he was at Pasqual for manipulating Emily to kick Derek to the curb.

Derek was fighting a battle with almost everyone at the office. Because of all the drama from work coming down on him, Derek picked up his bad habits for a mental escape, and now that was taking a toll on him, too. Derek stressed himself out, and he began to lose it. His personal life and business life were clashing. He violated the number one rule: never mix business with pleasure. Derek felt suffocated. Entrapment was an understatement. He picked up his cubicle phone and made an urgent appointment to see his shrink.

Monique, the new hire, was ready to haze Bertha, her new boss. Bertha micromanaged her like one wouldn't believe. Monique was new and did need extra attention for now, but Bertha was taking it too far. Monique heard from Louva, of course, that Bertha couldn't keep an employee if her life depended on it. Louva gave Monique the rundown of Bertha's checkered history. No wonder she can't keep an employee, Monique thought to herself as she listened to Louva give her the rundown, looking more pleased than ever. Louva looked like she was ready to orgasm giving so much gossip out. Monique began to think of ways to set Bertha up for failure. She began to trick her and manipulate her into making wrong management choices, all so she could throw it in Bertha's face at a later time. Monique gave Bertha bad work advice to help make her feel like a better boss. Monique was ready to send Bertha on a wild-goose chase.

Since Bertha was very gullible, she listened to everything Monique said and took it all seriously. Bertha just had to be won over at the minimum, and from then on out she would believe anything someone said to her. Bertha was a loose cannon and a ticking time bomb. She scared people from the office when they would go to lunch because Bertha was capable of doing anything and everything. She would act sad for no apparent reason and people expressed sympathy. Then she was happy and crazy. She was a true bi-polar case study. Bertha was special, cray-cray special. Bertha was unpredictable, and yet people loved that about her. In a nutshell, to secure her position in management no one wanted her in, Bertha was just trying to please Monique and get on her good side. Bertha portrayed herself as a good boss when really she was a nervous wreck. Everyone dreaded Bertha's office status and title. In reality, Bertha had not the slightest idea how to be a boss. She was almost as bad as Simon Sparrow, except she had a full head of hair and somewhat a style.

Dani still despised Bertha, especially as a boss. Dani was always the first to question Bertha on everything. She loved giving her a hard time on purpose, and it was all for Dani's personal amusement.

The rain checked back into town. Derek, Monique, and Jennifer were forced to stay inside when break time came. Usually they'd go outside and absorb the sunshine because it was always dark and muggy inside The Firm Firm's walls. Derek showed up late to work purposely, and he still had the nerve to take his break when it came up. Nothing came between Derek and his breaks. Derek hated going in the lunchroom during break because the Shady Bunch was always in there being overly loud and obnoxious, acting like they owned the bitch. Derek, Monique, and Jennifer were in one corner. Mingche and Louva were in another. And the Shady Bunch were scattered about. Derek couldn't look at Gwendolyn because all he wanted to do was laugh. Derek listened to see if anyone brought up Gwendolyn's birthday, but not one peep was made.

As Derek walked out of the break room from his extended break he was not entitled to, Mingche tried to tell him something. Derek had Mingche repeat herself three times because he couldn't hear her because the Shady Bunch tried to overpower him entirely. They were so loud and rowdy, like protestors. Finally Derek had enough. He shouted in the break room in front of everyone that he couldn't hear Mingche because of the loud asses that were trying to overpower him. Suddenly everyone and everything grew quiet. It was that awkward moment when suddenly everyone heard everything you said. Everyone looked at Derek in awe. He had the attention now, undivided attention. Jerome and Gwendolyn were shocked. Jack turned around quickly because he thought Derek was Nigel from the way his voice sounded. Jack grew excited. Mingche gave Derek the look of no you didn't. Louva was happy Derek did that because it caused the pot to stir. Louva sipped on her coffee in total amusement waiting for the next move. Louva loved her coffee almost as much as she loved drama.

How dare Derek come on our grounds and try and call the shots! Some of the Shady Bunch's followers thought. No one had the balls to respond. Not their queen bee Jack or their wannabe queen bee Gwendolyn.

As Monique and Jennifer left the break room, Monique noticed something she had never paid any attention to before: the suggestion box. The suggestion box welcomed any and all suggestions anonymously to help better the company, as if Herald, Gerald, and Doris were willing to take anyone's feelings into consideration. All they cared about was making sure they got their over ten grand a month and not having any real bad publicity. They weren't just horrible, terrible bosses, they were the epitome of the worst bosses.

Gavin and Kim noticed they were wearing matching clothes when they crossed paths at the recycle bin. Kim was happy because someone finally spoke to her in a positive tone and manner. Gavin didn't understand why him matching with people at the office kept on happening. Is it because I have such a keen and diverse sense of fashion? Gavin thought as he walked back to his cubicle. A smile appeared on his young, handsome face.

Lance and Derek crossed paths in the bathroom and chitchatted it up. They became closer after the weekend-getaway-from-hell since Lance was the only one there for him at the time. Lance walked in and immediately asked Derek what he was doing.

Checking my neck for hickeys, Derek answered. He was focused on himself in the mirror, and then began to clean his chap stick he said he recently loaned his friend. Derek had already moved on from Emily full throttle.

New bitch? Lance said as he peed in the urinal.

Something like that . . . , Derek answered.

Who is she? Lanced asked.

I am not one to kiss and tell, and if I did then I would have to kill you, Derek said as he began to pee, too, in the urinal next to Lance.

Lance laughed.

Do you ever feel like this place brings out the worst in you? Derek asked Lanced as he shook himself off.

Yes! This place is kind of . . . evil? Hostile . . . crazy to say the least, Lanced said as he walked toward the sink.

Thank you. I suddenly feel normal, Derek answered. He began to shake his wiener so no pee marks appeared on his expensive khaki-colored Express pants.

You're not normal. You're Derek Johnston. Everyone is always concerned about you, trying to calculate your next move and making sure you're OK. And from the looks of it, that your appetite is satisfied. Whatever you do is right, even the wrong things. You've probably gotten away with murder so many times already and had someone to successfully clean it up because they would love to be of assistance to you. It's damn near disgusting! Lance said with passion as he dried his hands.

Really? Derek said as he walked toward the sink. A huge grin grew on his handsome looking face.

Don't act like you don't know it! Lance said, No one remembers or cares about Vegas anymore.

I do, Derek answered.

So this newbie, is she hot? Is she new? Lance changed the subject quickly.

I told you already, I'd have to kill you if I told you, Derek shot back.

Lance rolled his eyes.

"But I'll tell you this, we have been hooking up secretly for some time and it was nothing I ever imagined or saw coming. Something like a sugar mama. She's hard to please, but she does me good," Derek said.

Girls, and women, love the bad boy, and well, you're you, you're all of the above, Lance said.

Are you hitting on me? Derek turned from looking in the mirror to face Lance.

Lanced rolled his eyes, made an expression, and walked out, saying, You're you!

After his bathroom break, Derek fantasized in his cubicle. He noticed something funny about all the fat people in the office: they were all wearing pink. Derek then noticed Jerome was wearing a pink polo shirt, Gwendolyn was wearing a loose light pink dress, and even Doris was wearing pink but she wasn't that fat, just large, manly, and muscular. Either way, Derek found it all so funny. He laughed to himself, as usual, in his cubicle. He then thought about slaughtering them all. Then he thought about having some bacon burgers.

That afternoon, an anonymous person put a suggestion in the suggestion box. This person suggested Bertha be reviewed as a manager. The suggestion included harsh complaints about Bertha. Now it was getting taken very seriously by Human Resources. Doris was back in the game to ruin people's lives.

Derek was happy because he successfully convinced Simon to convince Herald and Gerald to give him a good raise. I think you owe it to me, Derek told Simon. Derek felt entitled, and he had no shame in sharing it because of how Simon screwed him before. Meanwhile, everyone else's pay raise sucked. Simon came through for Derek because he knew he fucked up on him and did him dirty. Simon felt bad for the way he treated Derek over the past year when really he was nothing but a good sport who actually worked. Drinking on lunch break became the norm for Derek, Jennifer, and Monique as they all became better acquainted. They were almost as bad as Pasqual and Oscar. Lunch was their Happy Hour. Louva's husband found out about her getting roughed up by her boytoy. Out of pure anger, Louva's husband beat her ass. Louva was manhandled by another man. She was in bad shape. She was a bloody valentine.

Clara, Doris's new victim-slash-the-new-Celia, was added to the payroll. Clara put together a tennis team. Derek, Ramona, Karla, Rahshad, Marco, Sonya, Irma, and a few others were the first to opt in to join. Bertha knew no one wanted her, so she didn't even bother. After his first tennis practice, Derek made a special visit to that someone he was referring to when he and Lance were having their chat in the men's room. Despite Derek being hot and sweaty, he still went. And since he was Derek Johnston, he looked good in anything, especially messy hair and sweat. Even his sweat smelled good. Derek wasn't going to waste any more of his time with little girls. He was planning on being with a woman, a woman who would take care of him, and who better than Amanda von Carson to be that woman. Yes, Amanda was a bitch, a hard to please bitch, but Derek being Derek was able to crack that code, and little did Derek know that she was going to make him her bitch, too. Amanda had money, power, a damn attitude, and an ego that all went hand in hand together. Yes, Amanda had a rock-hard facade, but inside she was warm, fuzzy, and lonely. Moguls had feelings, and needs, too. The last relationship Amanda was in she ended just like that, within a snap of a finger. She called her boyfriend up and said they were done. She hung up on him like nothing, never to be communicated with again.

At first, Derek and Amanda's thing was a casual thing, nothing serious, just random sex, when she wanted it, of course. It all started at the closing of the Tower in the Cloud merger. Amanda made a comment to Derek and Derek got her joke. He wanted to laugh but he didn't want to get yelled at. Derek couldn't contain his laughter. It was a side he never saw of Amanda. She then demanded they go to her estate to get some files for the bitch, as she described it---it being Lydia Virgin. Derek knew then and there that not only was he in, but also he was staying in. Everything was always on her turf. From the get-go, Amanda told herself she would never take Derek seriously though. He was too much of a kid for her, and she was too much of a bitch, and woman, for him.

Derek and Amanda's little fling had now become full throttle. All that huffing and puffing she would do to scare him was nothing. Amanda was cynical. She was a diva, an over-the-top diva. One thing led to another and Amanda always caught herself reaching for her phone to call Derek when she had one too many glasses of Pinot grigio in her system. Before she knew it, she was hooked on him.

I'll never admit it though, Amanda said drunkenly as she sipped the last of her grigio, pissed because she was going to bed alone.

Amanda made a lot more money than Derek did. Derek milked Amanda for all he could. He wanted her to pay, literally. Amanda not only had money, but she also had brains. Her brain was good; she was a good businesswoman. She had been in the business for so long of course she was going to know how to use her mouth. Half the time she intimidated Derek. She had the tendency to put him in his place, which was what he liked. Derek was fine being her bitch as long as the price was right. Derek was not selling himself to her, but if Amanda were to offer anything to him he would accept it with no questions asked, and we'll just say that Amanda was a very generous and giving person. Amanda made her bitch her bitch. Amanda was totally fine acting as Derek's sugar momma. She wanted only one string attached to her. They both saw it no other way.

Derek was shocked when he arrived at Amanda's estate. Amanda set up candles and wine everywhere. She was in the romantic mood, ironically. After getting settled in, Derek and Amanda showered together to get all the sweat off him. They scrubbed and rubbed each other's dripping wet body. Lathery soap was everywhere.

I'm so hungry, Derek whispered in Amanda's ear.

We'll order something, Amanda responded.

The appetite Derek was referring to was eating Amanda out, and that was what he began to do. Derek ate Amanda out like a starving kid from Ethiopia. Amanda loved being eaten out, and Derek loved to please. Amanda