The Third Step - The Smoking Gun and the Coughing Nails, a Real Read Herring: The Isometrics of Tobacco and Power of Nonsense

By Al Lucas

This is Paul's exclusive preoccupation with the horrors of smoking cigs. It starts with his consultation with Dr. Saw, a noted surgeon, who operates with total disregard for accepted medical procedures. His first operation on Paul is a set of douche bags replacing his scarred lungs and removal of his sex organ for purposes of eliminating his ten

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lime Press LLC
• Release date: Sep 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781954304611

Al Lucas

This is the original 1st person version called High Steppin' off da Crack, first submitted as a 3rd person account under the name of simply Hi' Steppin' years ago. This 1st person version is more in keeping with an autobiographical style while still using fictional names as characters and was created before the 3rd person version, but lost, only to be found later after the 3rd person publication. It opens with an emaciated man standing on the day of 9/11 in the VA lobby, awaiting hospitalization for crack usage. One bizarre incident after another occurs leaving his sanity no longer in question. Being a Vietnam-era vet, he is screened and then followed up by two psychiatrists of Oriental persuasion who treat him rather realistically, to his chagrin. He is discharged with a nursing plan to attend Avon Park, a renowned dual diagnosis center in Sebring, FL, but first must go to SafePlace, a transitional housing facility in Tampa to protect him from the dealers while he awaits an opening in Avon. First, however, Paul decides to go home and have one more bout with crack, to get the high he never had, using his car as leverage. It doesn't work out so well. He thus attends SafePlace without a car. It should be noted, he has read to one of the psychiatrists his ongoing novel and continues to read or have read to any and all its contents. One person, a roommate, at SafePlace is so moved, he blows his brains out. At Avon, he is assigned a class coordinator, Manfred Mundane, an ex-military pilot, who is unsympathetic about Paul's writing skills. Getting kicked out for bumming cigarettes, Paul comes home with new verve. He will in fact attend AA and does. He fights his way out of bankruptcy and foreclosure blindly with no help from family or friends and miraculously incurs twelve years of clean time. The book ends with a surprise, reserved for the reader. It should also be noted, the narrative weaves between Paul's acid days in Morocco and his current plight. His journal is in the past tense; the book's outcome, in the present with both coming to an end in Paul's bedroom where reality merges in a sexual farce.

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The Third Step:

The Smoking Gun and the COUGHING NAILS,

a Real Read Herring

The Isometrics of Tobacco and Power of Nonsense

Al Lucas

The Third Step: The Smoking Gun and the Coughing Nails,

a Real Read Herring

The Isometrics of Tobacco and Power of Nonsense

by Al Lucas

This book is written to provide information and motivation to readers. Its purpose is not to render any type of psychological, legal, or professional advice of any kind. The content is the sole opinion and expression of the author, and not necessarily that of the publisher.

Copyright © 2021 by Al Lucas

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or distributed in any form by any means, including, but not limited to, recording, photocopying, or taking screenshots of parts of the book, without prior written permission from the author or the publisher. Brief quotations for noncommercial purposes, such as book reviews, permitted by Fair Use of the U.S. Copyright Law, are allowed without written permissions, as long as such quotations do not cause damage to the book’s commercial value. For permissions, write to the publisher, whose address is stated below.

First Published (2013)

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN: 978-1-954304-61-1 (Ebook)

ISBN: 978-1-954304-62-8 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-954304-63-5 (Hardback)

Lime Press LLC

425 West Washington Street

Suffolk VA, 23434 Suite 4

https://www.lime-press.com/

The Step Series:

The First Step, Hi’ Steppin’

The Second Step, A Step Down

The Third Step: The Smoking Gun and the Coughing Nails, a Real Read Herring.

The Fourth Step, A Dream Sequence

The Last Step, The Trite World of Paul Undres, A Final

The Bon Mot Series:

Mister Bon Mot, & The Election of 2016

Mister Bon Mot, and The Meanings of Wife

Also:

Pan and the Pandemic

Visit: https://lucaslore.com

Pacific Book Review

We all want to make sense of the world around us. So many things can become confusing or mixed up, making life more difficult to live in. From politics and family to romance and work, having a clear-cut understanding of the world is what helps so many people live their lives daily. However, the only way to make sense of the world sometimes is with a bit of nonsense. As British author Roald Dahl once said, A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

In author Al Lucas’s The Third Step: The Smoking Gun and the Coughing Nails, a Real Read Herring, the Isometrics of Tobacco and the Power of Nonsense, the author once again finds the antihero Paul Undres back in the driver’s seat. The twisted back-and-forth thoughts of the protagonist find Paul living not as a crack addict, alcoholic, or sex addict, but as a cigarette addict instead. Having served his time in prison, the ramblings of a confused and recovering addict find him searching for love and romance. In a desperate bid to help a woman he has fallen in love with, he seeks the aid of a doctor whom he believes can cure her of her ailments, as he did Paul. In a grand battle of thoughts in his own mind between the gods above and below, Paul must admit to truths about himself.

What a truly creative and unique story. The author takes readers on a trippy and almost psychedelic journey through Paul’s mind as he traverses the later years of his life. Immediately, the author begins exploring the confusing thoughts of the protagonist’s mind, from his confusion over his gender and sexual identities to the complex family life he has had thus far and even his desire to find love.Through the self-described nonsense that the narrative becomes, a real beauty and eloquent nature to the author’s writing takes center stage, highlighting the powerful effects drugs and alcohol can have on a mind over time, and how complex we as individuals can be.

This is the perfect read for those who enjoy a blend of humor and drama in their literary fiction genre. As a fan of the genre, I found myself drawn into this personal character arc overall and the rambling beauty of the author’s writing. The narrative and Paul himself almost felt like a literary personification of every addict’s demon, and the pitfalls of failing to recognize the lines that addicts often cross.

A meaningful, thoughtful, and entertaining read, author Al Lucas’s The Third Step: The Smoking Gun and the Coughing Nails, a Real Read Herring, the Isometrics of Tobacco and the Power of Nonsense, is a must-read drama and humor-filled literary fiction book. The latest chapter in this series does an excellent job of forcing the reader to consider the author’s words carefully, and the shocking conclusion to this chapter of the saga of Paul Undres will leave readers wanting more.

Table of Contents

The Compulsion

A Lucky Strike

Prepping

Daydreaming

Sobering Thoughts

Dr. Saw

Anesthesia

Getting Serious

More on the Affair

The Roach

The Four Roaches

Worn Out

Going Dutch

A Generic Folk Festival

Meet the Family

Swan Song

It Gets Worse

War Buddies

The Offer

Sundays

The Lay of Lies; Lie of Lays

Nodding Out

Higher-Ups

Zen

The Machiavellian Slur

On Again, Off Again

Do the Math

High Heavens

A Satisfying Concept of Self

The Beautiful People

Dad

Death Day

Heavenly Chatter

The Real Red ReadHerring

Ping Pong and Golf

Mary

The Timer of the Gods

The Chamber ofCommerce

The Council

Live Coverage

The Goddamn Gods Again

Hellish Retorts

Heaven Speaks Back

The Unemployment Office

The Ecosystem

Synthetic Knowledge

Terminal Illness

A New Red Herring

Post-Operative Elation

The Powers That Be

Death Sentence

Ersatz Extant Etc.

Zen Grey

Losing One’s Head

The Tracheal Tube

The Cork Stopper

The Pros and Cons of Marriage

The Day Duffus Died

The Day Chilli Died

Proposing

A Sleep Number Bed

Dream Drifting

The Finale: Face First

The Compulsion

His garb was translucent. His soul, impeccable. He looked good outside; but, inside, there was a barking need. It was the dog. The dog of doggerel. By all outward appearances, no one could tell what darkness intruded on his landscape. All he wanted was his words to soothe, his prose to tell a story, his story. However, it was more than a story. It was to be a saga of nicotine addiction.

Paul had just gotten out of jail on a pedophilia charge and was now doing time living a life of free will. His choice was to live for his cigarettes. When would he find God? In his spare time, which incidentally, abounded.

Zeus knew, but he was a Greek god. What good was he? He was fighting old wars. No degree, no order of higher speculation, no realization could possibly combat what Paul was dealing with. The real issue was his body; it was being defiled. Of course, there is such a thing as natural deterioration, but willful destruction no matter how incidental was immoral. Ah, the determinants of tar and a thousand other ingredients. There was also the specter of a sudden heart attack, an unpleasant reality for the best of us.

In essence, smoking was bad for you, in rumor and in fact.

But there was hope. Two-fold hope: one, modern science; and two, spiritual transfiguration. Both offered time: one, computerized; the other, transcendental. But life itself incorporates, integrates, and swallows. It is all consuming. Paul was bound and determined to defy the odds and prick his conscience toward a resolution of some sort, i.e., quit somehow.

He had seventeen years of recovery under his belt. But that was from alcohol. Seventeen fucking years! Never mind what he was doing before, he was as spiritually fit as man could be considering his cigarette habit. He couldn’t imagine giving up before leaving an imprint on the sand. He had already stepped all over his own ghastly accomplishments, trudging them into shadowy footprints, which no one in his right mind would follow.

Paul was continuing to do wrong. It was pleasing to his discomforted mind and, to a certain extent, pleasing to the rest of him to destroy himself. No need to go into medical detail; he was smoking. Right down to the butt. He felt the need for intervention: a new set of lungs, and, perhaps, a new rewired brain. Then he might be able to help rather than harm himself.

Theoretically, he could quit and exercise—rebuild the heart and lung—but that was doing it the hard way. He simply could not give up. He wasn’t built that way. Presentiment supposed an ability to quit, but for Paul, it approached the impossible.

His only hope now was to postpone the inevitable and make a mark before an egregious exit was had. He had to tell his story. If only one person liked it, that would be enough. It would explain everything. But before the story begins, there is the Man.

The only one man out there who had all the answers was Dr. Saw, noted brain surgeon, cardiologist, and pulmonary expert, a body swapper of rare skill. But more of him later.