For the Love of a Child

By Rebecca Hay

This book is the story of my life. From my first memories growing up as a young girl the mid-1960s to my early adulthood in the late 1970s.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Aug 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504988797

Rebecca Hay

I am fifty-two years old. I currently live in Devon with my loving family. I have spent many years coming to terms with the events of my past. I am finally able to tell my story. I would like to thank all the wonderful people that have helped make this book possible with special thanks to Chris Bailey, Hazel Bailey, and Dr. Charles Montgomery for giving me so much support and encouragement in times of need.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

I remember well the caravan we lived in. I must have been about five years old at the time, and my brother Alan and I had just come home to Mummy. We had been away for a time, living in a children’s home in London. Alan was older than I was by about six years, and we were always together. It was Alan and I against the world.

The caravan was just outside a village surrounded with fields and farms. On the site was a dumping ground where anyone who was clearing out stuff could dump whatever they no longer wanted. Alan and I were always treasure hunting in there. One time, I found a lot of little china dogs, which I gave to Mummy, and she displayed them on the mantel shelf in the front room of the caravan. Mummy had a new husband we had never met before, but he wasn’t around much; he drove long-distance lorries. I don’t think Mummy liked him very much, and he didn’t stay for long because he stole from the lorries and got put in prison.

Mummy loved to plant flowers in the little garden around the caravan. I can remember her kneeling most days with her trowel. There was a little white dog called Max, and we had a cat; they always cuddled up together under the caravan. All the days seemed like summer. Alan and I would play in the fields together; he was my best friend and my protector. The fields were where the farmer kept his cows, and I can’t remember a time when I didn’t put my foot in a cowpat. They always looked dry until you stood on one.

Next to the fields was a great big haystack, so big it looked like it reached up to the sky. All of us neighbourhood kids would make tunnels and camps; not once did we think of rats or any other wildlife.

I remember one time we walked all day, exploring, and found a large barn with two big doors. We sneaked inside without being seen, and to our astonishment, the barn was filled with boxes of jam tarts all the way up to the ceiling! Well, we ate and ate until no more could fit in our bellies and we were sick and jam-smeared. Years later, I found out that it was a pig farm and out-of-date stock. Well, it didn’t do us any harm. It was Christmas and birthday all in one day.

In the caravan, Mummy would open the cupboard under the sink and show us mushrooms growing. She would say she couldn’t put anything in there because all the mushrooms got in the way. They were growing out of the floor and wall. Alan and I were fascinated with this and thought Mummy was magic. Mummy was very pretty and had long red hair and always looked nice in trouser suits.

One time, very near Christmas, Mummy went out, and Alan and I were alone in the caravan, so we thought we would look around and find the Christmas presents. In the front room was a storage area under the sofa, and there they were. All day we played. I remember a lovely big doll, and I fell in love with her. Before Mummy came home, we put all the toys back just the way we found them. Christmas morning, I was very excited in anticipation of having my doll back. When we got our gifts, there was no doll. Later, I saw another little girl on the site with the doll. Mummy had swapped presents with another mother so we wouldn’t find out what we were getting for Christmas. I remember the envy and jealousy I had when I saw the girl carrying it about all the time.

In the front room of the caravan, Mummy had a clock on the mantel over the fire where she used to keep all her letters. She used to show us that behind the letters, the wall was getting black. Each time she showed us, it was darker and darker. She told us it was because of the fire, and with all the mushrooms growing as well, we would have to find somewhere different to live.

One day before we moved, two boys came to the caravan. One was about three years older than I was and the other boy about eight years older. Mummy said they were another two of my brothers. I didn’t believe her because Alan and I had never seen them before. I remember feeling very confused.

Mummy’s husband came back from prison, and the local council gave us a house in the village to live in. I remember skipping over the fields, carrying an old wire basket full of things to take to the new house. Mummy was very excited, hopping around, switching lights on and off, showing us that we could turn off the upstairs light from downstairs. There were three bedrooms upstairs and a living room, kitchen, and bathroom downstairs. Behind the house was a very large garden with plum and apple trees. There was also a large concrete shed. Mummy said it was somewhere to keep all the coal for the fire. The house felt very big after our small caravan.

Mummy told us that our two new brothers were coming to live with us. The younger boy was called Raymond, and the older boy was Terry.

Then Mummy went away, and summer came to an end. Life became cold, and winter lasted for years and years.

CHAPTER 2

THE ORPHANAGE

My mother had six children with my father. The firstborn one was a boy called Johnny, who died crossing the road one day when he was eight years old. After him came my three brothers and then a girl who died at a few hours old. (My mother would often tell me about the girl and how beautiful she was.) Then I was born as the last child. Terry was about eight years older than I, with Alan between six and seven years older and Raymond three years older. Now, as an adult, I often wonder if it might have been the loss of the two children that made her become unkind towards me, but she treated my brothers with love and affection, giving them