After November

By Leanne Stowers

Pamela Howells world has been rocked. After planning a much anticipated and long awaited wedding, her fianc is a no-show. When Pam learns the shocking truth about why he didnt show, it shakes her to her core. Deciding to go on the honeymoon, Pam takes her perpetually single, best friend, Jade Saunders. During the honeymoon, Pam meets who she thinks is the man of her dreams with secrets of his own. Jade also meets someone who turns her world around.

At a pivotal point in Pams life, Jade discloses why she is non-committal and refuses to be tethered to a man, revealing a dark secret from her past; known only by her dead sister. From this revelation, Pam makes a life changing decision and Jade is finally unchained from years of torment.

Filled with love lost, letting-go, self-discovery and love found, After November, is a unique and moving story that follows Pam through personal trials, disappointments, struggles, and finally finding true contentment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503555150

Leanne Stowers

Leanne Stowers is a freelancer, she won the Editor’s Choice Award for Outstanding Achievement in Poetry, and is a Document Administrator for a Fortune 1000 company. She participates in writing workshops and enjoys writing short fiction.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Leanne Stowers.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015904400

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5035-5513-6

                Softcover        978-1-5035-5514-3

                eBook             978-1-5035-5515-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 03/31/2015

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Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

One

Pamela Howell rushed into her cubical to check voice mail and e-mail; eager to tie up any loose ends before leaving. She was on a mission. Things at work, as well as home, would get knocked out. Nothing would stand in her way of her plans, not now.

Oh Pamela, I’m glad I caught you before you left, said her boss, Merriam Whittington, walking into her cube. I wanted to give you this before you left. Great work on this special edition, you’ve really out done yourself. I thought you’d like to look at the finished product, before it hits the stands.

Thanks Merriam. I really appreciate it and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to work on it. It was a lot of fun.

That’s wonderful. I had only hoped this assignment could’ve helped you with your plans.

Merriam, working on this assignment did help. It helped me decide what I really wanted and I realized, more than anything, that I’m following my heart. What I’m about to do is the right decision for me.

Well then, I’m glad it was helpful, dear, and you can’t go wrong when you follow your heart. Well done and off you go, she said leaving Pam’s cubicle.

Pam hurried into the house hoping Chris had gotten started on what still needed to be done before they left, only to find him snoozing on their still made bed.

Chris, wake up, she said, playfully slapping his leg, causing him to stir.

Just a few more minutes, he said sleepily.

"Come on, I need your help. We still have a lot to do.

All right, all right, he groaned. Don’t remind me.

When Pam boarded the plane she was filled with excitement and anticipation. Tomorrow her life would change; tomorrow her dream would finally come true.

This is it, she said to Chris, I’m so happy.

Chris Abernathy said nothing. He patted her thigh and waited patiently for the beverage cart. He needed a drink.

Pam had been dreaming of her wedding day since childhood. The day she would slip into that sleek white gown, stroll down the long narrow aisle, by her father’s side, and proudly stand next to her fiancé then step into her future. It was the only thing missing in her life, the only thing left to do.

Through the years she had been in wedding after wedding and as more friends married, she began to feel left out and desperately single. When will it be my turn, she often thought; her turn to shine in that white dress and dazzle her guests with a wedding they would never forget? When her dream had yet to come true and by the time she was in her late twenties, she wondered if it ever would. She wondered when she would find her prince; the person to complete her life, the person she was meant to be with forever. Giving little thought that prince’s only existed in the movies.

Pam’s married friends often wondered why in the world she was in such a hurry to get hitched. Marriage wasn’t what it’s cracked up to be, they often told her. Pam simply shrugged them off and said, It’s what I want. I want what you guys have.

Not really knowing what those couples had or didn’t have.

Her friends listened without interruption and without going into detail about their mundane, everyday lives, not exactly filled with romantic evenings and spontaneity, like Pam thought. Little did she know what went on in these marriages; she wasn’t privy to arguments or issues that come up concerning work, in-laws, finances or children. She never knew that some of her married friends felt lonelier than ever, even with their spouse sitting right next to them. She never knew that the picture they portrayed in public wasn’t necessarily the true picture of their relationship at home. Of course, those things never entered her mind.

Pam’s married friends secretly envied her—her freedoms of living alone, coming and going as she pleased and her minimal responsibilities. Still, Pam thought they had it all: someone to come home to, someone to sleep snuggly beside of, and someone to always have dinner with. She imagined, when you’re married, you’d never feel lost or lonely. More often than not, she thought about why what she wanted most always eluded her. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, she often grumbled.

The many unsuccessful relationships Pam encountered left a scar on the heart of a girl who believed in happily ever after and real life fairy tales. The multiple broken hearts she suffered left a trail of emptiness, loneliness and hopelessness, along with a constant ache for a future with someone who cherished, adored and couldn’t imagine a life without her. She longed for someone to love her as much as she loved them. Then it finally happened. Now she could look back and laugh about all of the times her heart had been broken, about all of the tears, and all of the questions. She had waited and waited and finally she was sitting next to the man of her dreams getting ready to start the next chapter of her life.

It’s my turn, she said barely a whisper, Finally." I’m finally getting what I’ve always wanted. Remembering how she met Chris.

It was spring. Pam went to an outdoor market looking for flowers and spring vegetables. It was a perfect day, the day she met Chris Abernathy. They bumped into each other browsing through the narrow aisles of the market.

Excuse me. I’m sorry. Pam said over her shoulder, a flat of flowers in her hands. Not knowing who she would be turning to, not knowing she would be looking into the eyes of her future.

Standing nearly six feet tall, a smiling Chris looked down at her and said, Don’t be. Here, let me help you with that. It looks like you have your hands full.

His blue eyes held hers for an instant, his smile somehow put her at ease. He was good-looking even with dirty hands, wearing a plain red t-shirt, ripped, faded jeans and a ball cap covering his light brown hair. They looked almost identical in their attire; except Pam’s blonde hair was pulled into a pony tail, with loose strands falling around her face.

If you’re ready I’ll help you to your car, he told her.

After making her purchase, she happily accepted his offer and led him to her vehicle.

He set the brightly colored flowers in her car. You’re all set. Lingering just a second, before turning to leave he asked if she’d like to go get an iced tea or something.

Smiling at the unexpected offer, she said, I’d like that, but I should probably get these home.

Right, right; I can come with you, help unload them then we can get that cool drink.

Any hesitation she had fluttered away, like a butterfly drifting from one of her flowers.

Okay, I don’t live far.

That same evening they had dinner and if she thought Chris was good-looking before, she definitely though he was sizzling now, well dressed and standing on her doorstep.

That was the afternoon her future would begin. It was the day that would eventually lead to now. While it hadn’t always been easy, through the years, with harsh words, days without talking, doors and dishes slamming, one very serious break-up, and the many times she wondered if Chris would ever marry her, she still felt was sure he was it; her prince, the only one for her. He seemed to make everything special: fun dates, long weekends, romantic dinners. He even took her on dream vacations. She never saw his eye wander when an attractive woman walked by, at least when she was around; that said, Pam felt secure. Chris, however, was discrete, smooth and savvy; a forever party boy who never lacked female company or had much desire to be tied down. He wasn’t exactly a commitment phobe but he liked his life the way it was, despite the incessant chirping from his mother about finding a suitable, respectable wife, and her constant chatter about wanting to be a grandmother. It was time after all, she always told him, to grow up and get married. Chris knew Pam was both suitable and respectable. His parents liked her. She was responsible, serious, a hard worker, and came from a good family. Good blood-lines his mother often said. Nothing like the parade of trollops his mother called the girls he sometimes brought home. So no one was more pleased than she when she found out Chris had actually proposed, already contemplating which room she would make into a nursery. Chris really liked Pam, he guessed he loved her. She would make a good wife he just wasn’t sure if he really wanted her to be his good wife. But he went with it. It was his duty now, he had made his bed. While he and Pam dated, he did all the things to make her feel wanted and treasured, and she did. He even managed to keep his honey on the side—on the side, knowing it would remain that way after they married.

To Pam, Chris was perfect, too good to be true and while this sometimes worried her, she dismissed the thought and decided she deserved this, and she did; but no one deserved what was to come.

As the plane climbed into the sky, she watched the mountains of Tennessee grow smaller and smaller. Eloping had to be the best to come to mind and eloping to Coronado was without a doubt the best idea ever. Coronado was the place where Chris had told her he loved her for the very first time, early in their courtship. The place they became engaged months ago on a surprise trip, and now the place where they would become husband and wife. Coronado was as special to her as Chris. It was perfect; just like she thought of him. She has a picture of them, taken all those years ago sitting on her desk. The day he told her he loved her that very first time, nearly five years ago. It’s one of her favorites.

Working with a small wedding chapel in Coronado, over the phone and by way of e-mail, Pam planned a simple, early November, sun set ceremony. After that she planned a reception at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, in Knoxville, so friends and extended family could celebrate with them.

At the place where she was in her life at this moment, sitting beside the love of her life, she could look back on her questionable choices of dates and giggle to herself remembering the boys she went out with in high school and college, the ones her dad hated; the smart-mouths, the punks, and the losers, as he called them. The ones that really got under his skin—the boys who honked the horn, summonsing her out to the car rather than ringing the doorbell and waiting patiently for her in the house. He often shared with her what these boys would one day become: a felon, a model prisoner, a burden to society. While she hadn’t always made good choices in choosing her boyfriends as a young person, as she got older her taste in men became more refined. Something her parents were both grateful and thankful for. Pam’s parents liked Chris but were at times skeptical about his feelings for Pam.

Pam opened the special wedding issue of Chic, the magazine where she was employed, as a writer, the special edition Merriam had given her and flipped through it. She touched the glossy pages as if actually feeling the satiny fabric of the wedding dress in the picture. Landing her job was also a dream come true. She was finally able to put her Journalism Degree she earned at the University of Tennessee to good use.

You could’ve planned our wedding easy with all the work you did on that issue, Chris commented.

I know, but I like this better. Way better. Coronado is our place. She whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek.

Again, Chris said nothing, but let out a long exhale. What have I done? I was perfectly happy just living together. Marriage is an institution, what’s so perfect about that?

Chris moved in his seat trying to get comfortable, forcing the circumstances of his extracurricular relationship to the back of his mind.

What do you want to do after the wedding? Chris asked trying to convince her he was as excited about the wedding as she was. We have some time before we go home."

Moving close to him, she put her hand on his chest and purred in his ear, Stay in bed, order room service.

I like the sound of that, but I still say marriage is an institution, a mental institution. Oh well, what’s done is done, there’s no turning back now.

Why didn’t you want to get married back home?

He didn’t really want to know, he was just keeping up his charade of making her think he was completely in to this whole thing. Thinking what a hoot it would be if his secret lover showed up, bringing her into his dressing room for a quickie before the ceremony.

Why does it matter now? We talked about this, remember? Merriam asked me to work on this issue and while I agreed, after I started doing the research, I found it, I don’t know, daunting. It felt like it was too much; too many choices, too many decisions. Not to mention the cost, weddings are astronomical. The wedding industry is nothing more than a racket, given the divorce rate nowadays. Eloping is less stressful, much easier, plus it’s like taking a mini vacation and Coronado is our place. You were watching that college football special with the super hunky Mitch Hawthorne when I brought it up.

Her eyes growing wide as she mentioned the College Football Analyst.

I know, I remember. What is it about him that make you ladies think he’s so hot?

Seriously? For starters he’s good-looking, sexy, confident. All the things girls like in a guy.

Yeah, well, I made you forget all about him later that night.

Right. Not hardly. He’s way too pretty.

Listen to yourself; you’re a married woman.

Not yet…I may not be able to order anything, but I can still look at the menu. She joked. Changing the subject, she said, Besides, Merriam really liked my work on this spread and was pleased with my efforts, not to mention my punctuality in turning it in before the actual due date. I may just have a future at that magazine.

Merriam Whittington, Editor-in-Chief and owner of Chic, was a polished, sixty-something lady who spoke with a British accent. She had cool blue eyes and a silver to-the-chin bob. She looked younger than she was and always dressed to the nines. She wouldn’t be caught dead, or anywhere else, in anything but the best, and was always, fixed up. Even at the grocery store, headed out in the middle of the night for her favorite brandy, or going to her stables to see her prized horses. The staff often joked she was of royalty, but no one really knew for sure. She was the epitome of the title of the magazine she ran. After learning of Pam’s engagement, she asked her to work on a special wedding issue. Pam was right. Merriam did like Pam and her work. She often thought that Pam was going places particularly within her organization.

I have no doubts. You’re good at your job and a good writer, Chris told her, increasingly having serious doubts about this expedition they were on. Wondering if it were too late to back out; knowing it was.

Near the rear of the plane, Liz Howell, Pam’s mother, sat trying to read. Her mind a jumble of questions about this so-called perfect man her daughter was about to marry. There was no such thing and Liz knew it. Her daughter’s long relationship seemed to be a series of make-ups and break-ups. Pam often griped about Chris’s long evenings and of his frequent business trips. He did have an important job with a PR firm and was in the business of entertaining clients and landing business deals, but he seemed gone a lot more than usual, at least since Pam moved in with him.

Pam didn’t go into great detail about her gripes to Liz directly, she knew better. Liz, however, had her own way of finding things out. Just like the checking she was doing on Chris as she flew to California. She would call about these things once she and her husband Bill got settled, maybe then her mind would be put at ease, but she doubted it.

While Liz was suspicious of Chris, she wasn’t exactly pleased with Pam’s actions leading up to this wedding. Moving in with Chris to save money for the wedding was a particular burr in her behind. She didn’t like the idea of her daughter living with a man engaged or not. With vows yet to be spoken, anything could happen and she thought Pam just might need that apartment. Liz always told Pam a man would never buy the cow if he could get the milk for free, so no one was more surprised than she was when he finally put a ring on her finger, wondering why it only took five years for him to propose. After the pair announced their engagement, Liz secretly wondered if Chris and Pam had to get married, speculating her daughter might be pregnant. Time, however, put those thoughts to bed.

Pam even ordered her wedding dress sight unseen. She found it looking at a wedding dress designer’s website, called the local bridal boutique and had them order it. Liz questioned her about this but, Pam, hearing none of it told her it was perfect, that she loved it, like Chris, it was the one. Liz only hoped her daughter was making the right decision and after seeing the dress in person, Liz agreed and decided it was beautiful. It was an elegant diamond white, strapless, ball gown, with a dipped neckline and corset closure. The full, frilly, organza skirt featured an asymmetrical bodice sitting just below the waist; which accentuated Pam’s petite frame. After a few alterations, it fit Pam perfectly; probably the only perfect thing about the whole thing.

Nearing the west coast, Pam twirled her long, sandy hair, her green eyes slightly heavy as the pilot made the announcement to prepare for landing. As soon as she heard it, she perked up and was wide awake. When the plane touched down, she nudged Chris awake, eager to get to the resort and touch base with the chapel. Chris opened his brilliant blue eyes and ran a hand through his hair, remembering where they were going.

Two

Liz and Bill Howell had just checked into the resort. Liz was hanging up her dress and thinking about her daughter. Like the wedding gown, she hoped Pam was making the right decision. She was looking out the window when Bill came in the room bringing with him the rest of their things.

You okay? He asked as he took their bags from the luggage cart.

Turning around Liz said, I guess.

I know something’s on your mind. You didn’t turn a single page of your book the entire flight.

I’m worried.

It’s a little late for that. The countdown’s begun. We’re here and she’s getting married tomorrow.

I don’t have a good feeling about this, at all. There are times when Chris seems endearing and charming then there are other times he seems, I don’t know, distant and preoccupied. We both know their relationship hasn’t exactly been sunshine and roses. I don’t need to tell you about all the make-ups and break-ups, the callous words and everything else. Nor do I have to remind you how devastated she was last year when he broke up with her and how she forgot all about it when he wanted to come back. She seems to think he can do no wrong. Remember that evening we had dinner with them this past spring, the evening they told us they were engaged?

Yeah.

If you’ll remember, Chris babbled and rambled about nothing and everything and drank and drank and drank. I was surprised the restaurant didn’t run out of Jack Daniels.

Aw the kid’s just nervous, cut him some slack.

Nervous about what? They’ve been living like a married couple for months. Now all of the sudden he’s nervous? I don’t buy it.

Let’s take a step back. You’re no private detective and you know what happened the last time you meddled in her life.

This is different, Bill, she pleaded.

That may be. But she’s older now and I agree Chris is a fast talker. God knows I don’t want her to make a mistake but if she does let’s pray she learns from it. Kids today; they don’t have a clue about marriage. It’s a lot easier to get married than divorced. Look, we had to intervene the last time. She was a kid. We both know she’ll blacklist you and you don’t want to be on that list again. Not at this stage of the game.

The summer Pam graduated from high school she got a wild hair and ran off with one of her undesirable boyfriends. Ten days into it, she came home asking Bill for money. She got what she wanted but that wasn’t all. Bill told her he’d give her a thousand dollars but that was it. He told her he’d never give her another dime and not to come back asking. He wouldn’t be thought of as a bank. Then Liz piped up and told her that all bets were off when it came to the University of Tennessee. She told Pam to either break it off with the boyfriend and go to college or go live with him and find her own way to go to college without their help. Adding that maybe, just maybe they’d keep the money they’d saved for her to go to college and put a down payment on a nice beachside condo. A furious Pam stormed out of the house only to return days later. She didn’t speak to her mother again until she came home from college for Thanksgiving.

I know but something just doesn’t add up. Call it intuition.

Come on, we’re in California. Let’s go get a bite to eat then walk out to the beach. Bill smiled offering her his hand.

Take the luggage cart downstairs. I’ll meet you in the lobby in a few minutes. I want to freshen up first. She said kissing his cheek.

While these doubts swirled in her head, she wouldn’t dare speak of having already checked up on Chris to anyone, above all Bill. All she needed now were the answers. Liz believed her daughter’s fiancé was too good to be true, and when something’s too good to be true, it usually is. She waited for Bill to leave then made the call.

Everything was in place. Pam and Chris were to be at the chapel an hour before the ceremony then they would be on their way to marital bliss, and that would have gone off without a hitch, except for one thing: the groom was a no-show.

Sitting in the brides’ dressing room, Pam anxiously waited for her dad to take her hand, and walk her down the aisle; when her mother came in instead.

Where’s Dad? She asked, getting up. Is it time? Are we ready to start? she asked, looking at her freshly manicured nails, resisting the urge to bite her thumb nail; picking up her bouquet.

How do I look? This is it! I am so excited; I thought this day would never come! But it did and I’m so ready. Pam beamed.

You look wonderful dear, in fact, I’ve never seen you look prettier, Liz said, unsure of what to say next; trying to choose her words carefully. It was Pam’s wedding day and she looked exquisite, which would make what Liz was about to say even more difficult. Taking a deep breath, Liz was silent for a split second, and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She took another breath then finally said, I don’t want to panic you, but… I, then her voice trailed off.

What…You’re what?

Liz, mouthed the words and finally said, I don’t know how to say this, she began, But, but…

But what? What Mom? Hey, don’t get upset, this is just the beginning, of many beautiful moments, Pam said, trying to console her mother. Having no idea, she would be the one needing consoled after her mother told her the impending news.

Look, sit down dear, we need to talk, Liz said, trying to start again.

Okay, I’m sitting. What is it, you’re scaring me.

Sweetheart, I don’t know how to say this. This is very hard for me. Yes, it’s time to start, it’s past time to start but we can’t and we can’t because… Liz stopped again to gather her thoughts, took a deep breath then plainly said, I’m not sure he’s coming.

What are you talking about? Who? Everyone’s here. A confused Pam said. Never imagining Liz would be talking about Chris.

Chris, dear; I’m not sure Chris is coming. Liz finished then waited for Pam’s reaction. Deciding it best not to disclose the information her source relayed to her about Mr. Perfect. It was probably a mute point anyway.

Pam’s heart began to race, her mouth suddenly went dry and her face faded to an ashy tone. Then she smiled a crooked smile, deciding her mother was playing a joke on her; a really bad joke.

So not funny, she said, getting up and running her fingers over the silky petals of her bouquet, her thoughts going as fast as her heart.

Sweetheart, I’m so, so sorry, I’m not trying to be funny. You know I wouldn’t joke about this; knowing how much you’ve wanted to get married. We’ve been waiting for Chris. He’s not here. We’re beginning to wonder if he’s going to show.

What?! What do you mean wondering if he’s going to show!? What do you mean he’s not here? She said through a half-nervous laugh. Of course he’s coming, he’s coming. Why wouldn’t he come? Getting married is the reason we’re here! She exclaimed, talking with her hands as they began shake. We came all this way and made all these plans. We came all the way from Knoxville. I’m ready; I’m in my wedding gown, in the chapel, our families are here, for Christ sake.

Okay, okay. Liz said, "Let’s just take a moment here, you’re starting to ramble dear; and you’re starting to use inappropriate language.

Sorry mother, it’s hard to be appropriate when you’re being told your groom, that is, future husband is not showing up for his own wedding. You just said you weren’t trying to panic me, well guess what, I’m panicked! She said a little louder. Did you hear from him? Did he say he’s not coming? Just, just tell me what he said, exactly, word for word, now! She said even louder.

He didn’t say anything, I haven’t seen him or heard from him, neither has the chapel staff, or his parents. He was supposed to be here an hour ago for pictures. Daniel and Evelyn have been waiting but he hasn’t shown up. Not wanting to say what was next; she mustered the courage and said, They’ve called him and haven’t gotten an answer. The wedding was supposed to start twenty minutes ago.

Well something must have happened, no something has happened. I’m sure of it, she said firmly. Let me think. Think Pam. God, I can’t think, not meaning to say that out loud. "Maybe he got dressed at the resort