Thunderbolt: The Merge

By TJ Phull

Living a life of law and structure, Kariana finds herself needing and wanting more, searching for forbidden excitement. Kariana finds herself transported to a world where shes able to define her existence through love, hope, and sexuality. Finding spirituality and self growth, Kariana connects to more than what she had ever hoped or dreamed of.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781503526198

TJ Phull

TJ Phull, author of Bedelia, has previously written Articles of a Witch Goddess, The Shadowing Wolf, and Confessions of a Goddess. Phull is a mother of five. Her studies are in business, social anthropology, and psychology. For her, writing had always been a dream that has just now been realized. Finally, her dream of being like her renowned relative, the writer Zora Neal Hurston, has become reality.

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Copyright © 2014 by TJ Phull.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 12/11/2014

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Contents

Sensations

Thunder Bolt

Switched

Replaced

Womb

Knowledge

Confused

Bonded Chains

Rest

Epilogue

Thanks

to my kids, to the goddess. My Aunt Sylvia, who always cheered me on, and those who believed in me and were always by my side. Thank you all from the center of my heart!

SENSATIONS

Sensations

vibrations

lust-filled

castration.

Emasculate

not cultivate

only to

hesitate

not to elevate

but only to expurgate!

The

Bowdlerization

of

masturbation

in a real-life

situation!

contemplations

determination

to subdue

what is

considered . . .

to be

too odd

or too

new!

Programmed . . . .

random

permutations

of real

life situations

A randomization . . . .

that only

brings strife!

Take

a chance

Take

a bite

It’s your life . . .

For you have

indemnification

for all your desires

and gratifications

Who says?

But he

HIM

CHRIST!

IT’S

your life . . .

Sensations

vibrations

Satisfaction

leads not into

damnation!

But to

jubilation

and great

sensations

great

sensations

Sensations!

Thunderbolt

THUNDER BOLT

K ARIANA ALWAYS WANTED to understand why certain desires and feelings were forbidden in her land. She didn’t consider herself the brightest or smartest, but she felt that whatever felt good and was enjoyable should be enjoyed as long as it didn’t harm anyone. What could it hurt, right? Wrong—for the leaders of her land and world had a strict order of things.

There were no markings on the body for it would be blasphemy against the creator. There could be no public display of excessive desires. You could not obtain more than what was needed. There was a strict diet to maintain a certain body weight and mass. If you were slightly over what was considered normal, a penalty was given or imprisonment.

Body adornment such as makeup and jewels, as well as colorful clothing was prohibited. But if you were rich or a lawmaker, then it was okay. The lawmakers and rich were able to mock the creator, or did they believe they were on the same level as the creator? Who really knew? In any case, the rest of the population color choices were narrowed down to whites, grays, beiges, and browns.

Kariana sure did love the color red, and not being allowed to wear it made her angry. Kariana never understood these rules or why people just fell in line, never to question the existence and relevance of these rules to the present time. How long were people going to accept this grimness of this world without allowing truth and light in?

Kariana was taught by her mom and family not to question anything that was enforced by the ancestors. Rules are rules kept in place to keep everyone safe, they had told Kariana. Safe—ha! How about set to control, rule, bind, and enforce obedience? These rules were supposedly handed down by the creator to make sure all was equally treated, but they were not!

The lawmakers and the rich have become the creators, and they sit and stand above them all. If the real creator wanted such rules, then how come the earth itself disobeyed the function and order of things? The earth breathes defiance as it spits on these so-called ideas and rules so set forth. The earth screams out separatism! Living as one unit and mass is ridiculous! It’s as if they are trying to keep us controlled, bound, where we are not allowed to act on our desires, dreams, and wants.

All we can do is dream and hide ourselves, while looking in the mirror hoping for escape, a connection to something more. There must be more. Kariana felt that if they were not to enjoy what was within them and they had to be the same, then why would the creator kiss the sky with a rainbow? Why do the animals, flowers and people come in such various colors and shades of browns across the lands and regions? Is it that the creator is mocking us?

Kariana hated that these rich lawmakers had the choice to wear all the colors of the earth and fatten their bellies with more than enough exotic food. What was so wrong with the physical aspect, the body? Why such freight? Why did everything have to be so spiritual and bland? Some of the lawmakers couldn’t even stand if they wanted to for the lack of ankles. Boy, did they enjoy the body. Oh, but wait, we had to hover over the earth, because it’s too intimate to place your feet on the surface of the earth.

We can’t be intimate with the earth, but they can. Kariana hated to see them engage in their physical wants and desires, never to get punished by their own rules! Why can’t we be allowed to embrace what is held inside us! Be more spiritual, look to the ancestors, the light, the energy, they say. I am tired of light, energy, and thought with no action! I feel sick about it! It has to be more than this, I want more, thought Kariana.

Nothing made sense to her, and she was damn tired of it all. Who the hell was this creator anyway? How did it exist so long without death and replacement? Is it still around? Who choose the creator or created it? It must be still around for things are still being created, born, and growing.

Did the creator make invisible machines that were preprogrammed to create, then at a certain date, all stops and dies? Is there one or many creators? So much questions that no one knew or offered up the correct answers. And if you asked too many questions, it could be reported, which could bring harm to you and your family.

She and her husband could be executed. When they execute, it’s not just you but your spouse as well. It didn’t matter if the spouse was innocent. At least, that’s what had been told to her. Kariana had never seen it with her own eyes nor had anyone else she knew. All she really knew was that some people had disappeared for no apparent reason. If someone starts to act very strange and different, they just—poof!—disappear.

Well, she hadn’t picked her spouse, but she was so happy that she did get to marry Vladimir, and she didn’t want him to disappear. Vladimir was handsome and well matched with her. However, she always had a serious crush on his friend Willis but had turned Willis down for marriage when he had rushed over to ask her to marry him.

She knew there had to be a reason for him to ask because he was supposed to marry Angel, his present wife. It was something to be suspicious about, and she didn’t want to take another’s engaged husband away from them, no matter how big the crush. It just didn’t seem right, so she had turned him down. Thank God for it, because she got Vladimir.

Vladimir had loved everything she loved, and she could tell he thought the same way she did; he was just more trained to be able to hide his thoughts. She tried to be like him, tried to keep all the questions buried in her mind, to try to avoid any danger to her loved ones. It was so very hard to always live on the spiritual path.

Moving about the farmhouse, she knew she needed to get going.

She had to tend to the yard, the animals, and the house as well as have breakfast ready in two hours. The thought of it just made her want to scream. Oh, but showing distress or even a little bit more emotion would suggest an unstable spiritual mind or conceptions.

She had seen her friend Angel, after losing her child, become emotionally distressed. She had changed so much after that experience. They had taken Angel screaming and kicking to the big building of the doctors. They had tried to realign her energy patterns using electricity. But when her friend had returned, her friend didn’t or couldn’t remember who she was. She didn’t even talk, and she barely moved. It was like Angel was imprisoned in her own body.

She once went to visit to bring flowers and butter loaf, but Angel had remained glaring with empty eyes. Her husband, Willis, had sat close, wiping the drool from her mouth. But Angel just sat looking into the blank space, not reacting to his touch. Kariana had asked Willis what had happened to her, if he had knew what they had done.

He had said that they had put electricity to her brain to stabilize her. And that is how Kariana knew that it could be dangerous to show any unstable emotions or end up like Angel. On that day of her visit with Angel, Willis had called her over to where he was standing to see the scars that the electric shock had produced on his wife’s temples. As she approached, he stood and lifted his wife’s hair, showcasing the scars.

Again Angel had said or responded to nothing. Kariana had decided she wanted to feel them, so tracing the marks with her fingers, she moved against the scarred skin. The sensation of it was thrilling and produced within herself an electric-like rush, which had flowed throughout Kariana’s body.

She liked that feeling of flesh touching flesh; even if it was another female’s, she didn’t mind. Willis didn’t seem to mind either. Or did he? God, was he going to report her for enjoying the feel of his wife? They always practiced merging, merging, merging! She was tired of merging spiritual energy with other spiritual energy; it was just so boring. She wanted to touch, taste, hit, and punch. Anything physical would be fine.

Removing her hands quickly and placing them to her side, she looked up at Willis. He stood there with a hunger in his eyes. She smiled; he had looked as if he wanted to enjoy the body also. It was not usually practiced openly, but whatever happened in the home or in private was widely accepted, just not in the open.

Rubbing on his trousers, she could see he was swollen stiff. His breathing had increased, making her body temperature rise. Walking toward her, Willis asked if he could touch her. She didn’t understand why he asked. She had wanted more. She wanted to be seduced, forced, abused, and badly handled. The thoughts of it all consumed her. Breathing heavily, she answered yes.

Willis stepped forward, and her heart started beating heavily. Suddenly she became scared and wanted to turn and run. Fighting the urge to escape, she stood up straight and looked straight at him. This made Willis bolder. She thought, Yes, yes, take me. But because they had not yet merged, he could not hear her thoughts, and he hadn’t asked permission to. Rubbing himself, Willis stood in front of her; taking his free hand, he reached out to touch and feel on her breast.

Her breasts were the largest in the village, and she was proud that they still stood up on their own, unlike the other women her age. Releasing his hand from his penis, he touched the side of her face, then he bent down and kissed her. She kissed him back as passionately as she could, but it felt a little forced. He was only a few inches taller than her, so it felt like a storybook kiss. It could have been romantic, but it was not new for her. She and Vladimir kissed all the time.

All children had experienced kissing like this before marriage. Nothing new at all. She yearned for something different. What made her excited was the feeling of doing something absolutely wrong. So this was wrong. Kariana wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer, smelling his scent. He looked at her with a little bit of fear, and she thought he had changed his mind and was hoping once again he didn’t report her behavior.

Pulling away, he looked at her, feeling scared she was about to turn and run. But he took her arm and gently tugged her toward the bedroom. Once in the bedroom, he turned and closed the door. She felt a rush of excitement fill her body. Moving forward, he pushed her slightly so that she fell onto her back and onto the bed. After undressing, he bent forward and lifted her dress up.

Kariana slowly opened her legs to create an entrance. Smiling, he lay between her legs. She could feel how hard he was, and she shifted her weight so that his stiff penis was touching her vagina. She was very wet, and he moaned oh god as he entered her slowly and gently.

Feeling him thrusting inside of her, she couldn’t just lie there. She wanted more excitement, so she lifted herself to meet him and every thrust he made. She wanted to feel his strokes penetrate her body. His strokes became deeper and harder. Clawing at his back, she leaned forward to nibble on his ear.

Feeling her hot breath touching his skin had driven Willis mad; he could no longer control himself. Releasing inside her, he felt delighted that he had just filled her insides with his hot fluids.

He loved that he had coated Kariana’s insides, and it showed in his face. Willis had always wanted to mate with Kariana, but his true love had beaten him to her.

Lying back as Willis stood up and wiped himself with the bedding, Kariana sat up and was feeling very disappointed. She had not physically climaxed; she never did unless she touched herself.

Pulling down her dress, she was feeling once again empty. What a waste of time, I can’t believe I merged with him, she thought. She could’ve had blocked her thoughts from him hearing, but she wanted him to know her disappointment.

Is this all? she thought, as she felt his fluids running from her. Willis had stood a while, just looking at her, both of them not knowing what to do next. Was he mad at her thoughts? She didn’t care. Willis and Vladimir had hung out since childhood, and they were closer than anyone she had ever seen be.

She would think that they were lovers if she were crazy, but being merged with Vladimir and now Willis, she would have sensed or seen it. Willis was very handsome. He had a thin, lean frame, very fit with good muscle tone. He had a creamy brown complexion, wavy blond hair, and light-blue eyes. However, he had a very long pointed nose, just like the rich lawmakers.

It was nothing at all like his father’s or mother’s nose, theirs being short and pointed. As a child, Willis was always teased that his mother had cheated on his father. No one knew the truth. But Kariana thought it was stupid to think someone cheated just because the child didn’t look like the parents.

Kariana was more a tan brown with long wavy blond hair, blue eyes, and a tiny button nose that had a slight point to it. She loved her look. Although she wished she were browner. Everyone tried to be as tan as possible; it gave color to a colorless forced world. So what now, she thought. Willis took her hand and pulled her to her feet. Standing, she pulled her hand away.

She was very disappointed with her encounter with him. She felt if she were going to be punished for something, it ought to be for something she enjoyed. Like a life-or-death matter. Hating her life, she pushed her dress between her legs and rubbed herself dry. Willis let out an uffff sound and pulled her close to him. As he kissed her forcefully, her mind and body screamed yes. She thought he would get it right this time. But instead he just relaxed and moved backward and looked at her.

Shame and guilt covered his face and filled his mind. Kariana could read it all, and she had had enough and didn’t want indecisiveness. She pulled the door open and stomped out into the living room. Collecting her basket, she turned to say good-bye to Angel, who had not moved or said a word.

Glancing closely at Angel, she saw that there was a tear. Was she still inside that shell, and did she know her husband had just slept with her friend? Kariana thought. Amused at the fact that she was now the villain, she bent down and kissed the tear away.

Licking where the tear had laced her lips, she smiled as she left the house.

Remembering that day and that moment made Kariana feel alive. She felt powerful. Those memories of that day had always excited her burning passion for chaos. She was filled with desire and ecstasy as she entered her morning bath to get ready for the day. Kariana allowed the memories to compel and consume her body, mind, and motions as she soaped up.

Lathering herself with the soap, it covered her body in a soapy film. Taking the bar of soap, she placed it between her legs. Rubbing as her clitoris stiffened and pulsated,