Pride of Love

By Kevin Dwyer

Twenty-five-year-old Jesse Coleman endures a heinous act on him. After the case is dropped, his mother, Claire, accedes to his request to move. Leaving behind his old life, he is left with a disturbing scar on his back. Hopelessness comes in on him and he takes off the bracelet that he has worn his whole life, which means something to him. Looking for a new beginning, Jesse who dresses differently meets Jaden who dresses like an outcast and the two fall in love with each other. With love from their mothers and good friend Liz, they try to bury their pasts behind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499033168

Kevin Dwyer

I began the Tai Chi in 1987 whilst at college for my BA Hons in Social Science. The format was brought to the UK by Lam Kam Cheun and the praxis is known as Zhang Zhung. It took a while to notice it was not standard Tai Chi, I was shown a lot of chi kung so I just practiced it. If I recall the first couple of years were pretty boring. Zhang Zhung, it turns out, is the spiritual home of Tibetan Buddhism.In this rather dull period tai chi wise we’d practice sword forms, Choi Lee Fut (kung fu form), 2 man forms, push hands, technique sparring, touch sparring, wrestling and massage. The other guys and girls would sometimes also kit up in protective gear and batter each other in full contact sessions. After about four years tai chi is more interesting in itself at a stage called Man or awareness.It’s easy enough to write about this now but one does become aware of something tangible. From about 1992 I took an interest in both the local spiritualist church and a meditation called Knowledge taught by Prem Rawat (also known as Maharaji). As it turns out our local mediums had strong links with the Silver Birch book and post war mediumship in the UK.For four years I was taught rather personally by Maharaji and his instructors. I’d stand up in front of thousands of people or in small rooms and ask questions. First time I saw him in Brighton I stood up and said give me Knowledge. He was nice to me even then now I think about it and just said don’t stick it in a box. After lots of travelling around and many questions later I received the techniques of Knowledge at a plush Hotel in Gatwick Airport, conveniently situated for Maharaji to take off to some other part of the world.No longer an aspirant for Knowledge but a Premie (trad. translates as divine lover) I turned my attention to studying with the Tibetan Lamas. Many are the heads of lineage such as H H Sakya Trizin, Dzogchen Rinpoche and Tenzin Namdak Rinpoche. More extensively with Tenzin Wanyal, and his teacher Tenzin Namdak Rinpoche who taught me Chod, Bardo, dream yoga, Five Elements and an unusual transmission that can be summed up as nothing more than “leave it as it is”.I am particularly grateful to Khensur Lobsang Tenzin Rinpoche, Lama Doboon Tulka, His Eminance Luding Khen Rinpoche, Khenpo Tsulrim Rinpoche, His Eminance Rizong Rinpoche, Lama Khemsar, Lama Lekshey and Namkai Norbu and Ringu Tulka.From 2004 - 2006 I went back to college to study media and video production having sold a late 18th century basement flat that my father and I restored. Filming and lounging around a good while with Nik Turner from Hawkwind I also make trippy videos. I like to mention him as he really is a great inspiration for getting up and doing things. That and his lyrics and associated artwork appear to have shaped UK culture to a large extent. Kd

Book preview

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

The talk show host woman sits on the stage with a fancy couch alongside her with a mother and young grown-up son. The supervisor with the headset on counts down from five to one with his fingers, and the cameras go live. There is audience applause and then a pleasant smile comes on the host’s face. "Thank you for tuning in on the Tina Live Show. I’m Tina and my guests today are Claire along with her son, Jesse Coleman. Tina sets her attention on Claire and Jesse. Thank you for joining us today."

Thank you for having us, Claire replies back with a smile, then looks at her son, Jesse. She slides Jesse’s brown hair bangs to the side from his forehead. You comfortable being here, sweetie?

Jesse sets his focus on Tina, who is looking on with the smile diminishing away. Yea … I’m all right, Jesse says.

Tina takes a moment and gathers words to say, then looks at the audience looking on in their seats. About a year and a half ago, Jesse Coleman was attacked from behind in a wooded area. He was beaten and his back was cut open. Basically, he was left for dead. What’s so horrifying about this attack is that the cut on the back spelled a word. Tina looks over at the two sitting right across from each other.

A nod comes from Claire’s head, like she’s reliving the day. Yes, the cut spelled out a word. It was not a cut in his back … more like a butcher does. My son’s back had to be stapled shut.

Tina puts her attention on Jesse. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You’re a strong man to live from that.

Yea …, Jesse replies back; he is wearing plain clothes with brown shaggy hair covering his head. Others say that I cheated death.

How old are you? Tina asked.

I’m twenty-six, but I was twenty-five when I was attacked.

Tina looks around his arm area. Can you explain what that bracelet you have on means?

Glancing down at his arm, Jesse lifts up the arm and shows a blue, white, and green sown bracelet with Pride of Love stitched in black in the colors. Pretty much means take pride in yourself and love yourself. Jesse sets his eyes on Tina through his glasses. I’m gay, and that is the little thing that defines me. I was attacked for being who I am. Wasn’t bothering no one. Just kept to myself.

Tina looks over at Claire with a blank stare down. You all right, Claire? Looks like it’s hard to talk about.

Yea, I’m fine. After the first court hearing, it was best to leave and start over and I’m thankful for that.

How did you deal with the attack? I’m a mother of two, Tina tells Claire. I mean it had to be tough on you, emotional wise.

Hope … Claire wipes her eyes with fingertips. Jesse found what he needed when we moved. Found someone that understands him. Small world, don’t you say?

One and half years earlier, sitting behind the front office desk in a dental office, Claire flips through a magazine with an emptied waiting room ahead of her. The dentist comes out of the back room and walks his patient to the glass doors. The dentist watches as the patient leaves the building. He then approaches Claire in the front desk office. Everything go well, Hank? she asks, setting the magazine down.

Mr. Churn had three cavities. Still looking forward for a cavity-free treatment day.

Claire reacts with a smirk. It’s always possible, she tells him.

Yea, you’re right. So when are you going to bring your son up here for a free checkup?

It’s going to take the jaws of life to pry my twenty-two-year-old son’s mouth open. Besides my insurance is not all that great anyway.

C’mon, Claire, didn’t you hear me? he says. I’ll do it with no cover charge. I know your husband put you in a tough spot.

Claire gives Hank a friendly smile. I’ll talk to Jesse, but I don’t see him getting a checkup.

My office door is always open. Hank looks up at the wall clock. It’s almost four. How ’bout you take off? Thinking about closing early.

Oh, you sure?

Yea, yea, that was my last patient, Hank tells her.

Well, thank you, Hank, she says, picking her purse up from under the desk that has the computer on top. Standing up from the chair, Claire slides the white doctor’s jacket off her and slides the purse strap onto her shoulder.

If I would, Claire, I would give you a raise, but practice has been slow lately, Hank says in a serious but friendly manner.

As long there’s food on the table for me and my son and bills being paid … I won’t complain. Hank reacts with a smile then. No more smoking. I can smell it on you a mile away. Claire gives Hank a friendly nudge and walks out of the office.

I’ll see you on Monday, Hank! she tells him with her back turned, then exits the building. She walks through the parking, digging into her purse and pulling out the car keys. Claire approaches a black newer model car and slides the key into the driver door key slot. Unlocking, she gets inside the vehicle and takes a moment to settle down. Putting the purse on the passenger seat, Claire opens up the center console. Looking down at the CD cases in the slots, Claire slides one out. Opening up the case, Claire looks at a blank title disc. Setting the case down, Claire slides the key into ignition and starts up the engine. Picking up the CD case once again, Claire takes out the disc and slides it inside the car CD player. The sound of mellow alternative music plays through the speakers inside the vehicle. Claire lets the music play and shifts the car into drive. She leaves the small parking lot and into the steady traffic road.

Turning down a non-high traffic road, Claire sings under her breath with the music playing as she pulls into a driveway with a small light-colored siding house. Car parked in the driveway, Claire turns the car off and exits the vehicle. Purse back on her shoulder, she approaches the front door area and unlocks the door and enters the house.

Claire tosses her purse onto the three seater leather couch in the small living room, then walks up the wooden stairs into the next room. Photos of her and Jesse are displayed on the wall in frames. Walking down the short hallway, Claire knocks on the closed bedroom door. She knocks again and there is no answer yet. Hand on the doorknob, Claire opens the door and sees her son lying on the bed with headphones over his ears and eyes closed—music blaring through the speakers as he lies with his hands folded on the waist section. Claire walks up to the bedside and examines Jesse for a moment. As she takes her hand into his and sits down, Jesse’s eyes open up quickly, startled. The headphones slide off his head.

You scared me, Mom, Jesse says.

Claire smirks, Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.

Jesse gets up from the lying position on the bed and sets his feet down on the carpet floor. You’re home early, Jesse tells her. Did you get fired or let go? he asks in concern.

No, was slow today. Hank said I could leave early. Since we are talking about Hank, free checkup for you anytime. Claire slides her hand through his brownish shaggy hair. How you feel?

Jesse rubs his hands together in his lap. The pills the doctor gave me are doing nothing for me.

Still feeling depressed?

Jesse glances at his mother. It comes and goes, Mom.

Claire doesn’t say anything in return, but looks down at the sewn tri-colored bracelet on his wrist. She takes her hand down and rubs her finger on the green, white, and blue bracelet. Claire reads out the three letters sewn in black in each colored section: Pride of Love.

Jesse looks at his mom. I picked out a movie for tonight, if that will cheer you up.

I’m fine, Jesse, Claire says with a smile, then pulls her hand away off the bracelet. So what did you pick out for us?

"Saving Private Ryan."

Claire reacts with a weird look on her face. There’s like death and gore in that movie.

Jesse begins to chuckle and shakes his head. "Just joking around. I rented The Way."

She nudges him as they share a laugh together. I heard that’s a good movie. Something like walking down a dirt path miles long. All right, let’s find something to eat for tonight. They stand up from the bed and walk to the doorway.

How ’bout some nice cheeseburgers? Jesse says.

Claire enters the hallway. Mmmm, sounds good. All right, its cheeseburgers and chips for dinner. The two walk down the stairs and into the small kitchen. Jesse opens up the cabinet above the sink and Claire opens the refrigerator on the other side of the kitchen. Grabbing the ketchup, mustard, and the seasonings, Jesse sets them down on the counter.

I don’t see any onions or hamburger buns in here, Claire says, her head inside the fridge.

Jesse looks back into the cabinet and moves around the containers. I don’t see them in here either.

Shutting the fridge door shut, she says, It’s no big deal. I’ll just run to the store.

I’ll go, Jesse insists. Been in the house all day. I should get air anyway.

You sure . . . ?

Jesse walks out of the kitchen and approaches the front door area, slipping his sneakers on. Yea, Mom, It’s no big deal. Claire opens up her purse on the couch and takes out twenty dollars. She hands him the money, then notices something missing on him. Starting tomorrow, I expect you to be wearing your glasses. The black frames look good on you.

She walks back into the kitchen and tells him, All right, sweetie, I’ll see you soon.

Jesse opens the front door and pushes open the screen door. OK, love you!

Claire peeks back into the front room. Love you too. Jesse leaves the house and walks down to the sidewalk and makes his way down the street.

Jesse exits a dirt trail surrounded by woods and walks into the back parking lot, then approaches the storefront with ads hanging on the glass windows. Pulling open the glass door, Jesse enters the grocery store. He walks down the produce aisle and begins to gather the small groceries. After making his rounds, Jesse approaches the cashier with an onion in a plastic bag and a bag of hamburger buns in the other. Setting them down on the scanner, he grabs a pack of gum displayed in front of him. The cashier scans the products and sets them in a plastic bag. Jesse hands over the cash to the cashier, then looks out the store windows while waiting for the change. A dark pickup truck parked across the street with three occupants doesn’t catch Jesse’s attention. The cashier nudges Jesse and gives him the change.

Thank you, Jesse says politely, sliding the change into his black jeans pocket. The cashier replies with a nod.

Jesse walks out into the storefront and casually walks back into the parking lot. His back turned on the street, Jesse enters the dirt trail again. Tree limbs hang over the trail as Jesse walks deeper in, which provide a shade over him, and the grocery bag hangs down with his hands having a grip on the handles. Tall grass and bushes on the side of the trail are decaying away.

The three occupants back on the street exit the truck. Two men with short haircuts with dark-colored bandanas hanging out their blue jeans back pockets walk across the street toward the parking lot. A third man with fair hair follows behind, but at a distance. The two men walk toward the dirt trail, then turn back to the third.

Let’s go, we need to make this quick, one man whispers harshly to the third man.

Dolson …, the third man says as he approaches, we’re just going to scare him, right?

Dolson looks at the second man. Yea, we’re just going to scare … what do you think, Twitch?

Yea, just scare him … so let’s do this, Twitch says. The three pull out dark-colored bandanas from their back pockets and tie them around their nose and mouth sections.

Dolson looks at the two. Ready … ? Twitch nods and Trent looks down in nervousness. Dolson then nods back and the two run in the dirt path quickly, while Trent freezes in the parking lot. Trent takes a deep breath, then runs into the dirt path.

Jesse who is focusing on the forest view in front of him continues to walk casually. Dolson closes in on him from behind. Jesse stops as he hears a rustling from behind. Before he can take a half turnaround, he gets hit from behind by Dolson. Falling to the ground, Jesse lets go of the grocery bag and begins to moan in pain as he turns on his back. Twitch also approaches and the two look down while Jesse squints up at them. The two waste no time and begin to kick Jesse in the facial, mid, and lower sections. Trying to protect himself, Jesse covers up his face with his palms and curls his body into a fetal position. Jesse lets out a big, "help!" shouting through his palms.

Shut him up! Dolson demands of Twitch. Trent approaches then stops right away as he watches Twitch crouching down and forcing his hand under Jesse’s palms and locking down on Jesse’s mouth. Blood drip down from the gashes on Jesse’s face and tears of fear begin to drip down his beaten cheeks. Suddenly, Dolson takes out a hunting knife from his pants pocket and points at Jesse.

Hold him down, he demands of Twitch again. Then he turns to Trent. You too.

You said we were just going to scare him, Trent tells Dolson. Hearing the conversation, Jesse opens his eyes for a second and sees Trent’s disapproving face. Twitch takes the matter into his own hands and kneels on Jesse’s back. Moaning continues on as Jesse feels the pressure of the knees down on his back. Twitch slides Jesse’s T-shirt up and exposes his skin, then exerts his strength near the shoulder section.

Shut up, this will be over real soon, Twitch whispers into Jesse’s ear. Dolson stands over Jesse’s helpless body, then crouches down on his back. The tip of the hunter knife touches down on the exposed back. Jesse screams as the knife opens up his back. Trent stands and looks in disbelief, while Dolson slices open Jesse’s back. With the pain too much, unconsciousness comes over Jesse as the struggle ends. Blood drip down his body and streams onto the dirt trail. Noticing no movement, Twitch lets go of his mouth and gets back in the standing position. Dolson steps back and looks down at Jesse’s motionless body. The three slide their bandanas off, then they hear a rustle in the distance on the side of the trail.

C’mon, let’s get out of here, Dolson says. Trent steps forward and crouches down next to Jesse. Remorse comes over him while the other two begin to leave.

I’m sorry, Jesse, Trent whispers down, then he stands back up and steps back, still looking down on Jesse. Sunlight peeks through the high limbs with leaves attached over Jesse’s beaten body. He lies unconscious in a secluded part of the woods while Claire continues her duties at the house. With a blue flame underneath, the stove burner heats away the frying pan. Claire with a spatula in hand presses the ground beef in the frying pan. Setting the spatula down on the counter, she turns back to the kitchen table, then looks up to the wall clock. Feeling that Jesse has been gone too long, she whispers to herself, Where are you? Claire decides to walk to the front and take a quick look out the window next to the door. Concern comes over Claire, so she opens up the front door and looks out from the screen door. She watches as a few cars drive past on the street ahead. Opening up the screen door, Claire steps outside and walks down to the sidewalk. She puts her hand up to her forehead in a salute style to block the sun block and looks down the street both ways. No sign of Jesse. Claire folds her arms and continues to glance down the street. The sound of sirens in the distance is heard. Claire turns her head and stares down the four-way stop intersection as the sirens are nearing. An ambulance speeds past the intersection followed by police and a Dire truck honking the horn loudly. Her body turns fully to the intersection in the distance and her arms become unfolded. Claire walks down the sidewalk with concern on her face.

Approaching the intersection, a mechanic truck pulls up to the stop sign, the man in it looking at Claire. Crossing the street, Claire looks down the street and notices a street blocked off with cops guarding and patrons looking on

Reviews for Pride of Love

[Stephen Darragh · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This was beyond awful. It reads like a bad screenplay that has been carelessly reformatted into a novel. Clearly no editor ever went near this prose, but not even the world’s greatest editor could’ve saved it.

Perhaps someone else could take the basic premise and write a decent book.

Aspiring authors: if you’re going to write police and courtroom scenes, do go to the trouble of finding out how the police and courts actually work.

[kevin_peter-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Faith, Hope & Love – A review of the novel ‘Pride of Love’“Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into” - Mahatma GandhiGrowing up isn’t easy, beyond the quiet memories and stable lives most people aspire to have; life itself can be complex without having a tragedy to complicate it further. A lot of books toy with the idea of self importance while very few deal with creating self awareness.Kevin Dwyer’s novel, ‘Pride of Love’ tells the story of a young boy Jesse who has to bear the brunt of a hate crime done by a couple of ignorant and sadistic bigots. Jesse and his mom are forced to leave town to escape the scrutiny of curious onlookers and for him to find some sort of a closure. Even though he won’t admit it, he’s looking for a voice that will understand him, soothe the scars on his mind and body. A change in scenery soon reveals that Jaden is the voice Jesse was looking for and he too is a misfit in society who also had to suffer unimaginable abuse at the hands of his father. Together now, they both try to forget their harrowed past, and the love they find in each other helps them discover themselves better.It’s a novel about the normal everyday folks that you meet in small towns across the country, there are very few characters around but they are all finely etched out. The author deserves special mention for creating two 'real’ people as the main two leads with whom the reader will instantly bond with. Jesse and Jaden are two wonderful characters and their interactions with each other, their individual emotional scars and the healing process involved in getting past them are all well documented. Teenagers and young people growing up everywhere have a plethora of problems to address while growing up, fitting in or finding acceptance in the eyes of the society see them go through familiar problems of alcohol & drugs, sex & relationships, and in the midst of all this when they have to come to terms with their sexual orientation as well, it ends up making them feel like complete social outcasts. And this is where Kevin Dwyer’s brilliance comes in, by being able to talk about all this in a non condescending and non confrontational manner while narrating a highly addictive story is just good mastery over the craft. The love story between Jesse and Jaden is beautifully and simplistically done and this has been achieved without unnecessarily highlighting the fact that it’s a gay love story. Kevin’s attention to detail is astounding; it’s almost like he wants you to see, hear, smell and feel the scenes along with him. Nothing escapes his eye and yet nothing unwarranted gets in the field of vision either. Equally praiseworthy is the fact that the author did not try to rush the romance between Jesse and Jaden, but allowed it to develop organically. The camaraderie amongst the other secondary characters is also beautifully written. There is a lot of powerful imagery that is brought to life by great writing. The best thing that can be said about Kevin’s writing is how he makes you forget the fact that you are reading a book; this is more so evident in the emotionally charged scenes which are of plenty in this novel. There is a nice little courtroom drama at the very end, which is the perfect parting gift this novel can offer to its readers.Even with a theme that many people would consider as sad and slightly melancholic, the author has managed to come up with a uplifting book about young people finding hope, faith and love and through it all themselves in this wonderful little novel. I would recommend this book to a wide variety of people, it’s definitely a story to be read and reread many a time.