Do You Know Me?

By Cassandra D. Ware

Lindsey a young girl found herself feeling lost and alone in the world. There seem to be something missing in her life . But she didn't know what, all of her life it has been just her and her mother . who spent a lot of time at work, so Linsey spent a lot of time on her own , questioning life. she shut herself away from people, due to the fact she know longer trusted, she had fear in her heart, there was know one to hear her cries are feel her pain . so she choose silence, then one day ,she met a man who heard her even though she did not speak he reached out to her.offering to teach her about God and his love,she did not understand why he was able to by pass all of the walls she had in place, but Pastor Reid seem to just walk right into her life , leaving her wondering where he came from. and who sent him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483600727

Cassandra D. Ware

MY name is cassandra ware, mother of two I live in Alabama, I am 44 years old,I love to write poetry and short stories (fiction) first it was just to entertain my friends,and co-works. they encouraged me to submit some of my poetry.and enter contest. the truth is writing became my way reaching out to others, and expressing myself .and now I just love to write.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Cassandra D. Ware.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4836-0071-0

                Ebook           978-1-4836-0072-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 02/25/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

119964

Contents

Note from the Author

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Note from the Author

Why do people suffer in silence? What holds them silent? What do they fear? Who cares? Whom do they trust? Friends, family. Silence is a way holding the feeling of shame, the feelings of guilt, unworthiness, rage, helplessness inside. And as people age and change, the earlier lessons that were learned are still there, which is when they truly need someone. There is no one. It would seem as if silence is always there for them to crawl inside themselves, where they think that they are safe. In their hearts and minds, they truly believe that they’re alone. No one understands. They question themselves, accept blame. They doubt their own ability to keep themselves safe. They don’t have the answers. They feel that they are in a situation that can’t be fixed. So they find themselves seeking refuge in the world that has betrayed them, searching for love, security, and a hero, only to find themselves disappointed. Suffering further abuse, feeling empty and more alone. They lash out at all those around them, wishing they had the power to fix it, make the pain stop, make it go away, and when they can’t, where do they turn? The past is a part of you. You can’t change or erase it. What was taken can’t be returned. The true question is, where do you go from here?

To truly understand the effects of sexual abuse, it would seem you would have to be a victim of it. It affects us all differently. No reaction is the same. Some minds become weak. Some hearts become bitter. We place walls around us.

I asked in the beginning, why do we suffer in silence? My answer is that, in the real world, you believe that no one hears you. These tragic stories make them uncomfortable, even nervous. You can see the motion sign for shh, finger on the lips. When all else fails, they tell you, Just pray about it. In other words, Talk to God because there’s nothing I can do for you. So what happens when you can’t pray, when you question the pain and you wonder why this was allowed to happen to you and all you can do is cry?

Silence isn’t always a choice. It’s a reaction when you feel you don’t have a choice, another way out. So what happens once that silence is broken? Does it really change anything? Is the pain any less? Does it fix it? These are questions that are asked. I feel the true key to healing is the people around you. The ones who don’t say Shh, the ones who don’t become uncomfortable, the ones who are willing to knock on that door you’re trying so hard to close, and ask to come in.

The struggle with silence and depression is real. If you have read this story or are getting ready to, this book was written to encourage and inspire you to believe even when you find it hard to. When you can’t feel God, believe and know in your heart he’s there. And also know that someone hears you, whether you’re silent or screaming out loud. He will send someone for you.

Please realize that silence provides false protection for you. The only person truly being protected is the abuser; silence allows them to believe they have gotten away with the wrong they have done and the pain that they have inflicted upon others. I say to you, open yourself up and give God access to your heart and all that pain inside. Accept his love and develop a relationship with him and get to know him!

Chapter 1

Who am I? thought Lindsey. As she sat on the swing set in the park, she watched a father and his daughter who were playing nearby. I have no father, and I have no friends. Some days, she thought, I don’t even have a reason to smile. The back-and-forth motions of the swing distracted her for a moment. The swinging motion helped her separate from herself and her feelings of loneliness. There was an aching in her heart, and she felt like screaming to everyone who passed by, Do you know me? Because every morning when she opened her eyes and every night before she fell asleep, that was the question in her head. What’s the use? she thought. No one ever notices me. It’s as if I’m invisible, at school and at home.

People made Lindsey feel as if she didn’t exist. She always had these negative thoughts going through her head, and the way people treated her only confirmed those thoughts. They treated her as if she was no one. As she went back and forth, she thought about her life and her goals. Her mind drifted there because last week, at a school assembly, they talked about drugs and alcohol. The speaker was a pastor from the new church that was built on the other side of town. A couple of months ago, he passed out pamphlets and fliers inviting all the youth to visit; she had taken one and put it in her bag, just in case she found the courage to go. Me attend church? thought Lindsey. I haven’t been there in a long time. Just the thought of going was scary.

There was something about that speaker. It was in his voice. She could still hear him in her head. It wasn’t his words. She couldn’t even remember what he said or what he looked like. Lately, everyone seemed to sound the same, but not him. She stood up and gathered her things because her mom would be home from work soon, and she didn’t want her worried about where she was or what she was doing.

The next morning Lindsey turned over in her bed and looked at the clock, and it was 5:30 a.m. Her mother had already left for work. She took a deep breath as the loneliness of her life weighed heavily on her chest. She reached over and picked up the flier off her nightstand from the new church over the last few days. She replayed the sound of his voice in her head. For some strange reason, she drew strength from it even though he was a total stranger. He had an effect on her, and she wished that she could hear him again, but she was afraid at the same time because something seemed to be pulling at her. She turned the flier over twice, reading it. The church logo stood out. "When you need a friend, come here. When your heart is broken, come here. He’s waiting