Beyond the Mirror

By Jennifer Johnson

At an early age, Joshua Granger realizes the dangers and cruelty of lies and hidden secrets. Having no knowledge of the circumstances of his birth, he is confused by the fact that the color of his skin is different from that of his older brother Timmy, his parents Susan and Timothy Granger and his grandparents. Finally learning the truth of his parentage, can he become a true man of love and compassion or will he continue to be trapped by the hatred of his mixed heritage?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 28, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469170855

Jennifer Johnson

Jennifer Johnson is a sixth grade writing teacher and Christian fiction writer. She is married with three daughters.

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Copyright © 2012 by Jennifer Johnson.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2012903269

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4691-7084-8

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4691-7083-1

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4691-7085-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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BUT BE DOERS OF THE WORD [OBEY THE MESSAGE], AND NOT MERELY LISTENER TO IT, BETRAYING YOURSELVES [INTO DECEPTION BY REASONING CONTRARY TO THE TRUTH].

FOR IF ANYONE ONLY LISTENS TO THE WORD WITHOUT OBEYING IT AND BEING A DOER OF IT, HE IS LIKE A MAN WHO LOOKS CAREFULLY AT HIS [OWN] NATURAL FACE IN A MIRROR;

FOR HE THOUGHTFULLY OBSERVES HIMSELF, AND THEN GOES OFF AND PROMPTLY FORGETS WHAT HE WAS LIKE.

JAMES 1:23, 24

CONTENTS

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X

Chapter XI

Chapter XII

Chapter XIII

Chapter XIIII

CHAPTER I

THE BRISKNESS OF the gray sunless fall day left little doubt that winter would soon arrive. A minute number of leaves still clung to the sprawling oaks that graced the partially wooded property that had been in the Haywood family for almost one hundred years.

The expansive twelve acres that initially boasted of rich, fertile farmland; then a booming automotive shop, now exuded professional landscaping and well manicured buildings that profusely proclaimed that the owner truly loved and cherished the generational acquisition. The four car mechanic stalls that was formerly the Hayward Garage, now housed a black Bentley, a dark green Porsche, a silver gray Mercedes coup convertible and a recreational quad which was used to explore the undomesticated three acres of woods that bordered the backside of the land, still abounding with wild life, fawn colored deer and undisturbed bombastic nature.

In spite of the costly renovations and modernized alterations, the sprawling two story house looked antiquated, belonging to a gentler innocent time of moral strength and notable character, when a man’s words were proof of his illustrious honorable reputation.

Joshua Haywood allowed the thick darkly stained wooden beam to support his tall, solid frame as he impatiently looked through the large insulated weather proof windows that graced the oversized leather and oak living room. The crackling sounds from the huge fireplace made him more restless, for in spite of his comfortable, luxurious surroundings, this was not where he wanted to be, although it was far better than the hospital. After over ten years of remission the dreaded disease had again reared its ugly head, probably through his own doing, for he knew without a doubt that he had ignored all doctor’s orders and warnings by fully embracing his old routines and habits. He thrived on hard work and the thrill of outwitting his business associates as he used his knowledge, skill and fearless determination to dismantle corporations, resell the shattered pieces and gross a high mind boggling profit. He was a renowned corporate raider and loved the challenge of the game.

For the past two months he had been feeling weak and knew that the rare blood disorder had returned before the three specialists had given him the preliminary results of the customary ordinal tests. However, they had stunned him beyond belief with the unexpected as Dr. Fulman became the spokesperson.

Joshua, not only do we see signs of Hemolytic Anemia, but it is accompanied by an unknown strain that can only be compared to an unidentifiable distant relative of the Aids Virus. Have you been to any third world countries lately?

Stiflingly sandwiched between the thoughts of the beautiful country of Kenya, Africa and the resounding words aids virus, Joshua had stared at the doctors as if they were simple minded children, for of course he had been in what they considered a third world country, and Dr. Diamond had personally given him each inoculation of protection. But how was that connected to the aids virus?

The first and only trip to Africa had been the highlight of the forty-six years of Joshua’s life, for it had finally closed the door to any shame or regret he had harbored as a bi-racial offspring. He had always known his part Italian, part Jewish roots, but because of times and seasons beyond his control and knowledge, he had been given a limited amount of time with the African American man who had loved and impregnated his mother, but was disparagingly disallowed the privilege and right to be his father.

Hearing his name had brought him back to the pristine surroundings of the overly bright doctor’s office and the three serious faced physicians.

Mr. Haywood we suggest that you immediately go to the hospital. The sooner we run more intense and invasive test, the sooner we will be better able to know exactly what we are dealing with. Right now we are thoroughly in the dark, for your blood results are an abnormality.

Shaking his head in agreement, Joshua barely heard the voice of Dr. Kahn as he made the necessary arrangements for admission. Leaving the stern faced, baffled physicians with their own thoughts, he secured his cell phone. A simple push of a button put him in contact with his twelfth floor executive office as he stoically informed his personal secretary of the necessity to check into the nearby massive medical facility that was renowned for its study and research of rare diseases and other medical phenomenon. He was thankful that such a place was in close proximity to his home and office, although he could well afford to fly anywhere in the world if the need presented itself.

Would you like for me to go to your house to pack the necessary items that you will need for your stay, Laura Barnes had asked in a very concerned voice? She had been with the Haywood Corporation for almost twenty years as his one and only secretary as they thrived and matured together in the obdurate world of business and high finance. Although initially the statuesque shapely honey toned woman had hoped for a more intimate relationship, it had never transpired. It had taken her six years to realize that her employers’ mixed heritage had created a deep crevice of hurt and insecurity that he tried to alleviate by being tougher, richer and more powerful than his peers and counterparts. Even though she knew that he would only be free through an inward spiritual healing that came from God, she was always gentle in her approaches and suggestions which he totally ignored. He honestly felt that no one else had ever walked in his shoes and therefore could not understand the extent of the pain and rejection that had been an unending part of his childhood. Eventually she had steered her affections to another, for she wanted the whole package of a husband, home and children, although she had never been able to bear a child.

"Yes Laura. Thank you. To be honest I hadn’t thought about what I would need during my stay. I just want to check in and get it over with; whatever it is. Cancel all appointments for at least two weeks, hopefully by then I will know something."

Yes Mr. Haywood, she responded on the brink of tears remembering every battle and triumphant victory related to the blood disorder. She had been his staunches supporter and ally which almost led to the demise of her marriage, but fortunately her employer had responded positively to a new medication before she had been forced to make a choice between him and her husband Norman Barnes. It almost seemed strange and beyond respect, but in all of the years she had worked for Joshua Haywood, she had never called him by his first name and he had never asked her to do so.

The eight days stay in the antiseptic scented private room of the renowned respected hospital gave Joshua much free time to rethink and reevaluate his life from the first memory of knowing he was different to the present age. He did not make use of the cable equipped flat screen television set except to occasionally keep abreast of the latest news and stock analysis reports, and had declined the laptop computer that Laura had brought along with his pajamas, robe, slippers and toiletries. For some unknown reason he felt he needed this time to reflect on his life and the man who had gradually immerged.

White nigger; Black Jew! Those coarse, harsh words had been imbedded into his psyche almost every day of his elementary school attendance. Joshua, his half brother Timothy, three other boys—Roger, Nathan and Mike; and two girls, Sharon and Nancy and the black children who lived in the opposite direction had been known as walkers, for unlike most of the other students they all lived in a two mile radius of the school so were excluded from riding the big yellow bus. Joshua and little Mike Talmage were in constant fights with their little gender mixed white group, for just as they ostracized Joshua for his unique color, they harassed Mike because of his small, diminutive size. Although Timothy was two years older than Joshua, he never stood up for him or tried to stop Roger, Nathan and the two girls from using the derogatory names or beating up on his darker skinned half brother. It was not until all of the other children had gone to their respective homes, with little Mike being the last to leave, that Timothy showed his true affection for his brother, who silently unleashed the tears of pain and hurt he had forcefully kept under control. Timothy would always place a gentle arm across his shoulder and say Don’t let them get to you Josh, you know that mommy, Grandma Joe and I love you. Although the older boy was sincere about his feelings, he was very emotionally crippled, for since the younger boy’s birth, his usual, quiet loving household had become a place of yelling, hatred, fear and confusion. He was not allowed to share any evening meals with Joshua, for his mother always fed the different color child before his father came home from work, knowing that he and his parents were to eat together apart from the presence of the fourth member of the household. Joshua was an ignored, unseen presence that constantly reminded the Granger family of the proven act of adultery that had been committed by his mother, Susan Granger.

At the age of twelve Timothy did fight the other boys, but only in defense of his mother who had been repeatedly called a white trash whore, once the children had fully understood how Joshua’s birth had come into existence.

Susan Malino Granger was the only child of Thomas and Josephine Malino. The handsome Italian young man and the pretty Jewish girl had fallen in love and defied both sets of parents by getting married in a civil ceremony. They had vowed to love each other unconditionally, work hard at their marriage and respective jobs at the family owned Malino bakery, and never have children. Even though the older Malinos were adverse to Thomas having married outside of his Catholic faith, they had informed no one about their daughter in laws heritage; after all, with her dark hair and features she could easily be considered Italian. Five years into the young couples’ blissful existence, they had secured enough money for a new home. Ecstatic about the house that was taking shape in a highly desired housing development, Josephine discovered that she was pregnant. She was certain that Thomas would be angry and not want the child because of their very diverse cultural and religious backgrounds, but to her relief he embraced the news as a proud expectant father. When Susan Elsa Malino arrived on the scene they reared her to be a free thinker, never tolerating any bias or superior preferences of one group over another. As a result she fully endeared herself to all people regardless of race, creed, color or religion. She liberally gave of herself to everyone she met, and she was well loved and respected for her generous spirit.

While a senior in high school, Susan had decided to forgo any further education and marry twenty year old Timothy Granger, who was the heir apparent to the Granger Farm. She had been happy as a housewife and helper in the various farming duties, for she always loved hard work and the opportunity to face and conquer any challenge that presented itself. After the death of Timothy’s father she fully threw herself into the farming business. Initially she thought that the strenuous work had been a hindrance to her bearing a child full term, for she had endured two miscarriages. During the fourth year of her marriage when she once again became pregnant, the concerned obstetrician vehemently insisted on complete bed rest and she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Timothy Granger III. The months of being confined to her bed had created an extraordinary bond between her and the unborn child; and once the birthing process had been completed, a drastic change took place, for suddenly all of her love and attention was transferred to the helpless, innocent infant. As the weeks turned into months, her husband, Timothy Granger II knew that something had changed within his marriage, for in spite of his wife being cordial and a dutiful sex partner; her affections had become detached and redirected. It was as if she had abandoned him even though they occupied the same living quarters and bed. Believing his wife needed time to acclimate herself to the new family addition, he patiently waited for the close ties and bonding of a husband and wife to return, but that never happened as he watched his marriage gradually deteriorate.

Susan felt young and refreshed with an over encompassing joy of caring for her first born child. She fully believed that mother hood was the fulfillment of the destiny that had been preordained for her ages ago, and now that it had arrived, she was complete and satiated with an unexplained joy. As the months passed, that happiness was diminished by the sudden illness of her father, who was the last of a long line of Malino’s; which left her mother, Josephine with the full burden of operating the Malino Bakery. Knowing her mother desperately needed her help, she defied her angry husband and left their one year old son in the care of his paternal grandmother, Mary Granger.

As the mother and daughter tirelessly operated the well known, much frequented bread and pastry establishment, they knew that the work load was too much for the two of them. As if in answer to an unuttered prayer, twenty-one year old Mark Haywood, a third year college student, walked into the bakery inquiring about a job during the summer break. The tall well built young man was soft spoken and very polite, but his well groomed outward appearance and genuine warm smile was captivating. The clean, professionally shaped black afro only enhanced his black eyebrows and eye lashes, as piercing dark brown eyes sparkled in answer to the white teeth, encapsulated by a pair of full lips. If a man could be labeled as beautiful, then Mark Haywood was beautiful. He was intelligent and his speech, mannerisms and quick precise responses left no doubt of his wit, but could he be an asset to the bakery? Having learned how to cook and bake at his mother and grandmothers insistence, since Helen and Mamie Haywood believed that ‘no man was worth his weight if he was unable to provide a meal for himself’; with ease he became the necessary pair of hands to help the Malino’s service the huge clientele that bought their tasty Jewish and Italian recipe baked delicacies.

The two women and one man had become a solid team as they not only worked together, but became fully acquainted. Josephine and Susan had related their ancestral backgrounds, as Mark told of how his father and grandfather had an obvious gift for working on cars and trucks, which eventually led to the renowned Haywood Garage. Their mechanical talents had been known throughout the county, even though since the death of his grandfather, it was only his father Carl Haywood who now operated the popular shop with three employees. Although Mark had learned the automotive skills and techniques, he and his father had greater ideas in regard to his future as he aspired to become a construction engineer.

Son, the way you like to design and build things, I can’t let you waste your talents here at the garage. If you keep getting good grades, I promise I’ll make it possible for you to go to college, his father had forcefully stated. Mark had kept his A+ average and Carl Haywood had kept his word affording him the opportunity to attend Michigan State University. Normally he would come home each summer to work for his father, but he really was not needed in the well staffed, private owned business. He had seen the help wanted ad in the local newspaper and decided to use his well honed culinary skill. He had immediately liked the two women, the work and the warm homey atmosphere, for it had reminded him of being with his grandmother who had departed this life over two years ago.

Susan and Mark were not fully aware of the physical attraction that had subtly magnetized them together not only as co-workers, but as a man and woman who had basked and flourished in each other’s liberal spirits and notable accessible characteristics. For although Mark had been reared in a good Christian home with formative years of Sunday school and church attendance at the local First Baptist Church, he had been given the freedom to ponder the difference between right and wrong, and hopefully choose the ways of righteous living.

Tired and concerned about her slowly recovering husband, at the end of a long day, Josephine had left the two young adults to clean-up and secure the aging but solid family owned building. Susan and Mark as expected had done a thorough, precise job in performing the daily rituals, but had suddenly become teasingly playful. As their eyes held each other in a long unwavering look, Mark knew he wanted to kiss the pretty woman, but held on to his resolve knowing there was no reasonable justification for carrying out such an action. Without hesitation, Susan threw all caution to the wind perceiving that a physical encounter with Mark Haywood would be exciting and far beyond anything she had experienced with her husband Timothy Granger. She had not been disappointed when all lights were extinguished and she had been carried to the small storage room to revel in love making that literally possessed her being. They had satiated themselves, neither regretting that they had sinned against God and man, for they had foolishly deceived themselves into believing that something that felt so right could not be wrong.

The following morning when the trio arrived for work, Josephine knew that something had transpired between her daughter and the young college student, even though it was difficult for her to believe that they had gone beyond a working relationship. Although she and her husband had defied their parents, they had been single and free to make that choice, whereas Susan and Mark had no right to cross that line. It was not about their racial differences, but the fact that Susan was married with a year old child. Immediately she began making plans to hire someone else so that her daughter could return home to her husband and family duties. Mark would be returning to college at the end of the summer, so she would keep him at the shop to help train the new people she would employ. However, before she could take any actions, Mark received a draft notice informing him to report for military duty. His family and co-workers had been stunned by the command, for they were certain that his college attendance, grade status and age had exonerated him from the Vietnam War. Unfortunately the heavy casualties of war had put Mark high on the list in spite of having completed three years of higher education. Carl Haywood had contacted their congressman and senator, but was told that nothing could be done, although they did promise to use his son’s three years of schooling to encase him with the Army Engineering Corp.

Dejected, disappointed and fearful, Mark obediently reported for duty, but not before spending two hours with Susan in the back seat of his father’s Ford Falane. They had made love and cried in each other’s arms as he begged her to leave her husband so that they could be married during his first furlough.

Mark, I can’t leave. I have a child to care for. It wouldn’t be fair to him to be taken from his father, the only home he has known and his birthright. Don’t ask me to abandon him, because I won’t. It’s not his fault that we fell in love and want to be together, so I will not punish him for my actions. I’m his mother and I have to protect and take care of him. Do you understand Mark? We will never be together as a married couple.

Yes, I understand. I don’t agree with your decision, but I do understand. Susan, I’m so scared that I won’t come back; that I’ll never see you again.

You must not think that way. Promise me that you will take care of yourself. Write to me but send the letters to the store. My mother won’t like it, but she won’t destroy the letters or keep them from me. I’ll help you through the tough times Mark, I promise.

With that promise in his heart, Mark departed for the out of state Army base. He wrote to Susan when he could and devoured her letters. Just before leaving for Vietnam, he had a two hour visit with her, for she had made the four hour drive just to be with him and confirm the love they had for one another. Mark had been gone for about a month when she realized that she was pregnant. For the first time in her life she went to a Catholic Church and a Synagogue praying that the unborn child belonged to her husband. Learning of the pregnancy her mother also went to a Synagogue and sought the comfort of a Rabbi, for if her worst fears were realized there would be a heavy price to be paid by her daughter and the expectant child. Even though Susan did not opt for complete bed rest, her husband hired a housekeeper to do the housework and help with their young son who would soon be two years old, for he was ecstatic about having another child. He was certain that his wife would no longer have the time or energy to be such a free spirit, now that her father was almost recovered and she would have her hands full with two children. Four months after young Timothy’s second birthday, Susan was rushed to the hospital. As her husband paced the floor of the waiting room in the maternity ward, eight pounds two ounces, Joshua Thomas Granger burst on the scene to the shock and consternation of the doctor’s and nursing staff; for there was no way to deny that the baby was a child of color. The thick dark brown almost black hair, the distinct coloring of his ears and lips in spite of the very light brownish overall skin coloring, did not diminish the fact that the infant was of African American heritage.

The deafening silence of the doctors and nurses only heightened the loud shrill cry that came from the newborn. As Susan looked from one person to the next, she initially thought that perhaps the child was badly deformed, but once the infant was thoroughly cleaned and placed in her arms, she burst into tears, for she had given birth to Mark Haywood’s son. With pleading eyes she looked at her obstetrician and then finally said, Please tell my husband that the baby and I are fine, and that he can see me as soon as I am back on the ward. Please don’t let him go to the nursery before I talk to him.

As unhindered tears coursed over her pale almost bloodless cheeks, she held Joshua tighter, not knowing what the future would bring for either of them. As the harshness of reality set in; Susan horrifyingly realized that she had selfishly steered herself through a course that could only result in heartache, dispersion and disdain. Vowing to protect her two young sons, she unwillingly allowed the pediatric nurse to pry the infant from her arms and place him in the waiting nursery cart. Her body shook with gulping sobs as scalding tears refused to subside while the smoothly rolling gurney moved towards her semi private room on the maternity ward. It was time to face her husband with the undeniable truth that she had not only committed adultery, but had also given birth to her lover’s offspring.

Concerned after speaking with the doctor Timothy Granger hurried to the beige sterile hospital room, wondering why he had been told to immediately go to his wife. Fearful that there had been medical complications or perhaps a hysterectomy, he quickly embraced his shaking and weeping wife.

Susan what’s wrong? The doctor said that you and the baby are fine, but there seems to be something more that no one is telling me.

Taking a deep breath, Susan held tightly to the big, strong hand of the hard working farmer who thrived on the simple things in life, like a wife, home and the well being of his family. With a steady gaze she looked into her husband’s blue eyes, knowing the pain that would quickly substitute the visible worried expression.

Tim when I was helping my mother at the bakery, I became involved with a worker. I didn’t do it to hurt you, I was just terribly attracted to him, and so I acted on my emotions. We had an affair, but I never dreamed that it would result in me having his baby. Tim, Mark Haywood is the baby’s father.

Stunned beyond words, Timothy looked at Susan as if he had stepped into a horrific nightmare not of his own making, for he could not find himself in anything that he had heard. He could not conceptualize his wife in the broadening picture that was forming in his mind, for not only had she been with another man, but that man was black. Jerking his hands from her grip, he looked at their size and knew the forceful strength that could easily embody him to strangle her without remorse or distress, for she had stripped him of everything he held dear and sacred, that is everything except their son. Thinking of the two year old, he walked to the window knowing he needed a clear and cool head for the sake of the innocent child who was at the farm in the care of his mother.

As a long span of deafening silence filled the air Susan’s frazzled thoughts screamed to be exonerated from the worry and fear that gripped her spirit and soul. She could not imagine what Tim was thinking or planning, but she knew that the fate and future of her children lay within his power. Never had she felt so alone and abandoned, for in spite of her radical free thinking ideas and lifestyle, nothing had prepared her for this irreversible event.

I have to get some air, Tim finally said as he quickly left the room without looking at the woman he had known for ten years. However, today he had thoroughly surmised that he did not know her at all, for in spite of her spirited attitude and liberal ideas, he still could not fathom that she had allowed a black man to touch her in the most intimate way a woman could be touched. As far as he was concerned it was an unspoken, forbidden taboo that no self respecting white woman ever thought about much less engaged. He honestly believed that the meaning of all men are created equal, meant all white men, therefore he only tolerated black people if their paths inadvertently crossed liked the times he played high school sports or needed the Haywood’s to fix a truck or one of the farm machines. A black woman cleaned his mother’s house, and many of his farm workers were black, but that in no way meant that they were his equal or counterpart.

After two days of enduring the scalding, hateful looks of the white staffers and the snide smirks from the black nurses and aides, Susan went into a deep depression, certain that Timothy would not return or allow her to be a part of their son’s life. Her mother had visited several times always trying to bolster her unwise daughter with words of encouragement and positive scenarios.

Susan, you can always come home to live with your father and me. If Tim won’t let you be a mother to little Timmy, then we will go to court. The hardest part will be facing the bigotry that refuses to die because it has an evil life of its own making. It will be difficult, but we’re strong and we’ll survive.

I have to survive for the sake of my children, mother. But I cannot imagine my life without both of my sons. Tim has to forgive me, she cried.

Well I’m just trying to prepare you for what may or may not happen. You and your children are going to have to live with the worst kind of cruelty because of a decision you made. What about Mark, have you told him about the baby? Now that’s another option, perhaps his parents would take the child.

No mother. I don’t want Mark to know anything about the baby, so of course his parents can’t be involved.

"But why Susan? Surely