Well-Versed in Scripture: The First Five Books of the Bible in Contemporary Rhyme

By Cantor Elias Roochvarg

The Bible may be called the best seller of all time, but once you get past the familiar stories of Genesis and Exodus, much of the rest is difficult for the modern reader to get into. Well-Versed In Scripture: The First Five Books of the Bible In Contemporary Rhyme, solves that problem. It presents the first five books in lively, contemporary rhyme. So contemporary, in fact, that the chapters can be done either as rap or simply as light verse, alternately inspiring and tongue in cheek, as the text demands.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 14, 2009
• ISBN: 9781469104454

Cantor Elias Roochvarg

Cantor Roochvarg began writing verse in eighth grade, in order to get out of having to write long prose reports in Social Studies class. About that time he also became a fan of Gilbert and Sullivan, and hopes that a few of the very best of his own verses may approach the quality of Gilbert on a very bad day. He has taught thousands of children and adults, and hopes that as a Cantor he has occasionally inspired and uplifted worshipers. He lives in Charlotte, NC, with his wife and three children.

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Copyright © 2009 by Elias Roochvarg.

ISBN:   Softcover   978-1-4415-4995-2

ISBN:   ebook   978-1-4691-0445-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

DEDICATION

INTRODUCTION

GLOSSARY

BREISHEET

NOACH

LECH LECHA

VAYYERA

CHAYEI SARAH

TOLDOT

VAYEITZEI

VAYISHLACH

VAYESHEV

MIKETZ

VAYIGGASH

VAYECHI

SHEMOT

VA’ERA

BO

B’SHALACH

YITRO

MISHPATIM

TERUMAH

TETZAVEH

KI TISSA

VAYAKHEL

PEKUDEY

VAYIKRA

TZAV

SHEMINI

TAZRIA

METZORA

ACHAREY MOT

KEDOSHIM

EMOR

BEHAR

B’CHUKOTAI

BEMIDBAR

NASO

BEHA’ALOTECHA

SHLACH LECHA

KORACH

HUKKAT

BALAK

PINCHAS

MATTOT

MASSEY

DEVARIM

VA’ETCHANAN

EKEV

R’EH

SHOFTIM

KI TEYTZEY

KI TAVO

NITZAVIM

VAYELECH

HA’AZINU

V’ZOT HABRACHA

DEDICATION

To my parents, Mike and Ida, who loved me all the time;

To 8th-grade teacher Irving Charnes, who turned me on to rhyme;

To all my other teachers (the ones who didn’t bore);

And also to my students, from whom I’ve learned much more;

To wife Linda and the kids, for all the moments golden;

But to my Rhyming Dictionary I am the MOST beholden!

INTRODUCTION

If you want to know the secret of the Jews’ longeviTEE,

How we survived persecution and many a tragedy,

Outlived so many powerful and influential nations,

And continue to contribute so much to civilization,

(Forgive this run-on sentence), the answer is a BOOK,

In Hebrew called the TORAH, in English, Pentateuch.

That’s actually just the 1st part of the Jewish holy writ.

The rest is called The Writings and about 15 prophets.

These holy Jewish Scriptures have provided inspiration

To millions of believers in every generation.

And even those who may not see its origin as divine

Can not deny as LITERATURE, that it is mighty fine.

The Torah is read publicly, each week a certain section

In synagogues throughout the world, of every complexion.

But when you get past the stories of Genesis and Exodus,

The reading gets more difficult because of how complex it is!

The mission of this book, then, is to take these words immutable,

And rhyming them as best I can, to try to make them… . scrutable!

If anyone, after reading this, feels the least bit inspired,

That is the very most that any author could desire.

GLOSSARY

BREISHEET

Genesis 1:1-6:8

The Book of Genesis (The word is Greek)

Begins with a sedrah called B’reisheet.

God starts the ball rolling by creating earth and the heavens.

The earth, we are told, was at sixes and sevens.

But the spirit of God even at the world’s birth

Hovered over the waters which covered the earth.

Earth was without form and void, dark and bleak,

And into that void, the Lord did speak.

Yehi Or, He said, Let there be light,

And so there was, cutting through the night.

God divided the night from the brightness of day.

And there was evening and morning: We were on our way.

The firmament was the next thing God created,

By making sure the waters got separated.

He called it Heaven, and left it that way.

There was evening and morning: the 2nd day.

God then separated the Seas from the dry land,

And took a step back to admire the work of His hand.

After pausing to note how well He was pleased,

He created the grass, and the flowers and trees,

The fruits and the vegetables, and every kind of seed.

There was evening and morning: Day number 3.

God then turned His attention to lighting up the skies:

The sun, moon, and all of the stars he devised.

He saw that was cool (as the teenagers say).

And the evening and morning made that the 4th day.

The fishes of the sea and the birds came next,

All these, of course, at God’s own behest.

He blessed them and told them, Be fruitful and multiply,

So the fish filled the seas and birds filled the sky!

And mosquitoes and great whales from that day derive.

Evening and morning: Day number 5.

On the 6th day God made the cattle and sheep,

And every creature that on the earth doth creep.

Then in His own image, after all else was done,

God made Man and Woman (So says Chapter One!).

He gave them dominion over Earth, sea and sky,

And told them to be fruitful and to multiply.

By the end of the 6th day, God must have felt stressed,

So he dedicated the 7th, the Sabbath, to rest.

He blessed it and hallowed it, and from all work did cease,

And those who observe it find great inner peace!

Chapter 2 adds some detail to this story of Man’s birth,

Explaining that God made him with some dust of the earth.

God breathed in Man’s nostrils and Man came to life.

Then from Man’s rib, God created his wife;

Flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone,

’Cause God didn’t want Man to be all alone.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother

And cleave to his wife, as to no other.

God put them in a paradise, the Garden of Eden,

With every convenience they could ever be needin’.

Now of 2 trees, God said, they should not even try

To eat of their fruit, or they surely would die:

Of Knowledge and of Life. Those trees were taboo.

The humans were naked. So ends Chapter 2.

The serpent, which we now refer to as snake,

Was the most devious creature God ever did make.

On Eve’s gullibility he knew how to prey.

"D’ya REALLY think He’ll kill ya if ya disobey??

He can’t kill you guys: You’re his piece de resis-tance!"

And he wheeled her