Rosey's Ramblings

By Rosemary Jackson

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 17, 2009
• ISBN: 9781469100869

Rosemary Jackson

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Rosey’s Ramblings

Rosemary Jackson

Copyright © 2009 by Rosemary Jackson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in

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Contents

A SNAPPY STORY

A STRANGE FAMILY LEGACY

A TALE OF BLADES, RAILS, AND WRITING

ANDY’S ACCIDENT PROCLIVITY

AUNT MARY AND UNCLE TONY

BATS OUT OF . . . . THE CHIMNEY???

BITS OF BROPHY

BLOOMING OF THE ROSEBUD—A FAMILY AFFAIR

CATHY’S CHRISTMAS

CHARLES AND HARLEY JACKSON

CHICAGO’S MOST WANTED

CHILDHOOD MAGIC

CHRISTMAS CHAOS AT THE COLLINS’

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

CLEANING FANATIC

COOKING CONSTERNATIONS

GENERATION GAP

GRANDPA COLLINS’ FOIBLES

GREEN HAIR

HORSES IN THE STREET??

JACKSON ROMANCE

JUST LIKE DADDY

KETTLE CORNER

KITTEN MISADVENTURES

LEARNING TO COOK

LIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS

MASHED POTATOES AT THE COUNTRY CLUB

MEMORIES OF MARY

MICHAEL THE MENACE

MOTHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!

MY SIX CHILDREN

OH, DEER!!!

ORIGIN OF MULTIPLE JACKSON XMAS TREES

REMEMBERING GRANDPA HILL

SAGA OF THREE SS’s

SISTERHOOD

SUNDAY WALKS WITH DAD

SMILES

TEA PARTIES

TEA WITH THE JACKSON LADIES

THANK GOD FOR PROHIBITION

THE GREAT CATSUP SAGA

THESPIAN TALENTS AND TERPSICHOREAN ENDEAVORS

THE BABY OF THE FAMILY

THE ORPHAN TRAIN

THE SEVEN WARTS

THERE’S ROSEMARY THAT’S FOR REMEMBRANCE

THREE HOLEY FEET

WHAT’S THE USE OF ONE SHOE?

WINTER WONDERLAND

A SNAPPY STORY

Once upon a time there was a very grumpy young woman married to a very cheerful young man. They were visiting Rosemary’s (that was GYW’s name)family on a lovely May Sunday in 1966, when a discussion began about directions to some far-off land, its’ name lost to history.

Now it must be understood that GYW was also in the early stages of pregnancy, when many traits, good and bad, are exacerbated. She was giving directions when one person said, Oh, no, Rosemary, that’s north of that street.

What a crime! What bold affrontery! How insulting to correct her Highness, the Queen of Knowledge of Directions from anywhere to anywhere! She stomped her foot and snarled like a cornered wolf, I’ve been traveling that road for years! You’ve never even been there! she growled.

Bill (that was the CYM’s name) committed the worst offence of all . . . he laughed! Now, usually that would be the end of the story: Rosemary would laugh at her own foolishness and life would go on, everyone having a good chuckle!

But, this day, that’s not what happened. She turned on her Bill like a viper!! The least you could do is back me up! Why aren’t you on MY side?!! She shrieked.

Since she was known as a know-it-all to parents and siblings alike and since Bill was the newest member of the family (GYW and CYM had just gotten married the fall before) and just as well-loved as GYW, everyone scolded her and told her she was not being very nice to her dear husband. This caused the GYW to fly into a rage! She screamed at everyone present about how they were so hateful to her, didn’t care at all about her, and probably liked Bill better!! In fact, she said, they could keep Bill and she’d just leave the family!

By the time her tirade was over, everyone was howling laughing, particularly Bill and her father!

She was so incensed, she did the only thing possible under the circumstances; she stormed into the bathroom!! She did the usual things, then cried, fumed and boiled for about ten minutes. Since it was a warm Spring day and she’d already been to church, she felt there was no need to keep her girdle on. It was rather tight and, after all, might squish the baby, so she took it off. She had it in her hand when she walked into the living room where everyone was laughing with great abandon!

Under other circumstances, she would just have asked what was so funny, but being super-sensitive, she assumed they were laughing at her!!

Oh, sure. Go ahead and laugh. I’m just so funny you can’t stop laughing, can you? she screamed. Well, You can laugh all you want but you won’t have ME to laugh at any more! and she slammed out the front door, girdle still in hand!

Although it was a lovely Spring day, it was a lovely Chicago-suburb-Spring day, which is still cool as the sun goes down, temperatures in the fifties by early evening. With no coat and only her girdle to keep her warm, she was beginning to regret her rash behavior. Of course, that Sin of All Sins, Pride, kept her on her chosen path. On she sailed, like the prow of a ship, only her fury to keep her going and keep her warm.

After about three-quarters of and hour, good old Bill showed up in the car. Well, you’ve made your point, dear. We won’t laugh at you any more . . . unless you do something really funny!! . . . . Um, like walking down the street waving your girdle at passing motorists!! and he began to hoot with merriment!

Until that last sentence she was ready to forgive him, but when he started laughing once again, at her expense, she just couldn’t stand it! She did the only thing she could think of at the time . . . used her girdle like a rubber band and snapped it at him!!

Then he got angry and drove off!! She thought she’d have to walk all the way home to their apartment, about ten miles away, but her dear, forgiving, understanding mother showed up a block or two later.

The end of the story is that she and Bill forgave each other and went on to have not only that baby, but four more little darlings . . . . and they all lived happily ever after. (If you believe that last part, about happily ever after, I have a bridge I can sell you!!)

005_a_rabi.jpg

Rosemary Jackson and Mary Collins, taken June of 1966, just before the famous girdle-snapping incident. Note the weapon slightly exposed!

A STRANGE FAMILY LEGACY

I am the oldest child in my family, my daughter is the oldest in her family and her daughter is the oldest in her family.

We have many traits in common: we are all beautiful, effervescent, bossy women who are also very self-assured.

And we have one other similarity: we have all put something up our noses and needed medical treatment for our experiments.

When I was about four years old, I liked to kneel on the couch so I could look out the living room window to watch the big kids go to school. I was somewhat of a dreamer so I would kneel there watching the crowd go by and wool-gathering, as my Grandma called this daydreaming.

One day, as I was wool-gathering and staring out the window, I noticed a small piece of the button leg of the clock had broken off and was laying on the table next to the couch. Absentmindedly, I picked it up and put it in my nose and took it out again several times. I have no idea why I did this, I just did! Of course, the last time I did it I couldn’t get it out. The more I tried to get it out, the farther up my nose it went. Finally, I started crying and called my mother.

Mama, I’ve got a piece of the clock up my nose and I can’t get it out!! I cried.

I remember Mama putting me in a lavender dress I had never seen before in a big hurry. Mama, where did this dress come from? It’s so pretty. My mother was sure I was going to choke on the clock in my nose so she just told me to hurry and get into the dress but I insisted so she shouted at me Dawn Yvonne (the older and bigger girl down the street) sent it over. She outgrew it!! Now hurry. The doctor’s waiting for us!!

When we got to the doctor’s office, he had an instrument that looked like a bent metal coat hanger with a loop on one end. After seeing where the offending clock was and trying unsuccessfully to push it down from outside my nose, he had to use this thing. I was scared but my brother was terrified!! He screamed so much, my mother had to take him into the waiting room while I had my removal done!!

I grew up, got married, and started having children of my own. Our first bundle of joy was Mary Kathleen Jackson, the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen, happy and exuberant. A year and a half later we had Louis Edmond, a very solemn, smart boy who can remember the day he was born! Two years later we had Charles Harley, a smiling, loving, energetic child who did not know how to stop moving or asking questions (and remembered every answer!) We had two more boys after that but that’s another story!

This story starts shortly after our second son was born. Mary Kate was almost four, I was busy with the baby and she was usually quite self-sufficient so I was kind of ignoring her.

She said, Mama, my nose hurts.

Being a loving, caring parent, I said, It will feel better in a little while. Did you draw a picture on your chalkboard? Let me see it.

Being the dutiful child, Katie showed me her picture, then whined, "But Mama, my nose still hurts!"

Finally, I took a close look at her nose, realized one nostril was noticeably larger that the other and asked her what had happened.

At first, she denied anything had happened or that anyone (Louie, in particular) had hit her.

After a thorough interrogation, however, she admitted she had put a piece of chalk up her nose!

Of course, I tried to get it out by pressing on the bridge of her nose but it didn’t work . . . it was too far up there. So I called my dear mother, who lived just a few blocks away, to drive us to Dr. Marks’ office, where the offending piece of chalk was removed under the scrutiny of myself, Katie’s two little brothers and her grandmother! Some children will do anything for attention!!

Many years passed, and Katie grew up and became a mother herself to a wonderful, beautiful, talented, intelligent little girl of her own-Elizabeth Rose Jackson.

When Elizabeth was about three-and-a-half years old, she went to visit her Great Grandma Collins, as they often did, since they lived quite close to each other.

Since it was early spring in Illinois, Mom had a vase of pussy willows on the table. These are little, fuzzy buds on what looks like dead branches. If you wait til the weather warms up, they bloom and are the early harbingers of spring. If you bring them inside, put them in warm water and wait a few days, spring comes early to your home!

When Elizabeth came in, she asked, Grandma, why do you have those sticks on your table?

Mom showed her some that had fallen off the branches. These are called pussy willows. Feel them. They feel furry, just like a little pussy.

This is when the legacy went into effect. Elizabeth said, Oh, look at the cute little pussies! and petted those in Mom’s hand . . . but before anyone knew it was happening, Elizabeth was smelling one and it went up her nose!!

Of course, everyone tried to get it out by having her blow her nose, (she was too little to blow hard enough to get it out), pushing on her nose, (just pushed it up further), and asking her why she did such a thing (which served no purpose at all since she had no idea!)

The doctor was called (I believe her name was Dr. Mattaglia) and she suggested it might come out on its’ own since it was soft and would be hard to get at. However, after several days it had not come out, so Elizabeth had to seek medical help for the pussy willow removal!

The report I got from Elizabeth was Grandma, I gotted a pussy willow stucked in my nose so I had to go to see Dr. ‘Taglia and she had to pull it out and I was a’creamin’ and a’cryin’ the whole time!!

Did I forget to mention that we are also all very melodramatic in behavior and description??

A TALE OF BLADES, RAILS, AND WRITING

Once upon a time there was a young man named William Lee Jackson. He had a great love of skating. He had learned to figure skate when he was about sixteen. He practiced at a local skating rink where professional hockey players practiced. He was not only an exceptionally skilled skater but striking in appearance and charming in manner. He was blue-eyed, blonde, with a ready smile and wit. He was also six feet four inches tall and broad of shoulder and girth.

After his skating session with the figure-skaters, he would often stay to learn how to play hockey and soon how to skate with hockey skates. The skate and style of skating are very different from each other.

Before too long he was playing hockey with the professionals. They had no idea he was only sixteen so they treated him like an equal, not a kid. Much to his mother and aunt’s chagrin, he joined a hockey league.

One day, he came home, smiled broadly at his aunt, showing her he was missing his four