My Life Would Never Be the Same

By Tammy Sider Powell

Rena Tasha Sykes was born under the category of leadership. She was an intelligent, strong black woman who believed in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. At the age of seven, her parents separated and soon divorced; this was the most traumatic time in the Sykes familys life.

Rena became a nurturing mother at age seven; vowing to love and protect her siblings in their fathers and moms absence, and she did in every way.

Soon realizing she was chosen to go through a lot of hardships, trials, and tribulations. Because of her calling from God, Rena was able to subdue and overcome lifes heartaches, disappointments, and downfalls.

Rena was abused physically and mentally by a self-centered, controlling husband who never knew what love was and never loved her. After all the sadness and madness in her life, Rena is reminded of how her grandmother, who was a prayer warrior, taught her how to pray and keep the faith.

Rena was able to reunite with her first love again only to find out it still wasnt enough to fulfill her needs, only part of her dreams.

After the loss of her daughter and losing her first loves babies, Renas life began to spin out of control. She still had her son, but it seemed as if Luke had taken him from her too. Rena began partying more, drinking. Soon, drugs were introduced to her by a major drug dealer. She began to love this type of lifestyle; it became a part of her life until she had another life-altering experience that would change her life forever.

And thats when Rena knew her life would never be the same.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Mar 13, 2016
• ISBN: 9781490767680

Tammy Sider Powell

There was no hospital in the small rural town of Griffin, Georgia where Tammy Sider spent the first eight years of her life. Therefore, Tammy was born in the close town of Barnesville, Georgia on August 11. Tammy later relocated to Jacksonville, Florida in the winter of 1971 with her mother and siblings after her parents’ divorced. Tammy attended local schools and later graduated in 2002 with degrees in Criminal Justice and Business Administration from the historical Edward Waters College. During these years Tammy realized that the writing which helped her escaped some of the brutal attacks she endured as a child, was influential in her pursuit of higher education. Her passion for people who were physically, mentally and socially abused and a determination to succeed as a woman led to the consideration of becoming a published author. Visionaries such as Maya Angelou and Joyce Myers are just 2 women who influenced Tammy’s work. The tenacity to endure struggles with marriage and family, the betrayals of friendships and a mask worn to hide the anguish buried deep inside her heart would be the inspiration for writing this book. Readers will be submerged and intrigued as they discover that through faith, perseverance and loving support-even the support of just one person—obstacles can be overcome and a peace of mind can be maintained.

Book preview

Chapter 1

THE BEGINNING

Rena Tasha Sykes was born under the category of leadership and intelligence. She could also be defined as a strong black woman who believed whole –heartily in our lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Rena’s life memory has been knowing she was chosen. Anointed and appointed by God to do his will. The comprehension of it all wasn’t assimilated yet in her mind.

Chosen to be picked on constantly by the enemy: But time brought about a change in life giving her a solid understanding of why she had to go through. As a child Rena’ recalled having dreams of present, future events that later came to pass. Not understanding that God had given her the gift of prophecy, which was a gift Rena’s grandmother had been blessed with also. From the beginning Rena remembered feeling blessed in having two grandmothers who were born leaders as well.

Rena was born in a small town on the out skirts of Atlanta. The daughter of William and Helen Sykes. They were married at the age of sixteen after Rena’s conception. For a long time the enemy deceived her in thinking she was a mistake. After finding out this matrimony happened because of her conception. The enemy tried to design a barrier in Rena’s life by creating a lie. This lie made Rena feel her existence of being here wasn’t for God’s purpose, but because of the sins of her parents.

Rena’s mind often pondered on that thought. She began to believe it was normal to endure pain. Enduring continuous abuse and punishment from men of her past. But thank God for Jesus who ministered to her teaching Rena about his great love.

Rena would not be defined as a woman with low self –esteem. As a child, Rena’s dad taught her the importance of education, integrity, self-control, respect, but mostly, be proud of who you are. He would tell each of his children God made you. God never made junk. William would often remind his daughters they were black and beautiful. Two years after Rena was born Lamar Sykes was born. William was proud as all men are to be blessed with a healthy son. One year later another daughter Lizzie, another year Rosalyn was born, totaling four.

Rena’s fondest childhood memories were their late Sunday drives in the country after church. Her father would load everyone up in his 1963 Grey Ford convertible. Rena remembered the fresh evening country smell in the air, gazing up at the crispy blue sky looking for that angel grandmother said belonged to her. Instead, Rena remember seeing shapes in the sky, praying hands, lambs, the shape of a head that was frightening she didn’t understand. So Rena didn’t look up, she started looking out at the beautiful world that was in front of her. Rena remembered their dad driving fast along the country dirt roads, while her long ponytails were flying as if they were dancing in the wind. This was a happy time in Rena’s life, so much love, this was the Sykes family tradition.

Rena perceived how hard her dad worked, Mr. William was an awesome dad. Like most little girls Rena adored him to the upmost, while admiring his characteristics of an excellent provider. Genuine love was felt in the atmosphere between her parents. Rena’s mother Helen was awesome as well. An excellent cook, a great mother with a lot of love to give with patience. William cherished their mother deeply, to the point of not allowing her to work. Helen was treated as a queen while he protected her like one. It was love, young and true love. Unfortunately, this fairy tale story didn’t last long. Rena remember when all the feuding started. Rena was 6 years old the fighting became more frequent. To the point of every weekend and later becoming during the week day.

Rena remembered how her mom would call their grandparents to pick them up, because the fighting was so frightening to each of them causing them to cry and scream. She also recalled lying in bed praying for her dad to come back and take them home, he did every time.

Having great love for her grandparents, Rena’s maternal grandmother was an awesome woman of God. Grandma Clara was strict and loved the lord. Prayer was number one in her life. Preaching heaven and hell to all of her grandchildren and anyone else who would listen. She would always tell Rena’s mother He love you and those babies try to get along, the two of you need Jesus. Rena didn’t have the opportunity to develop a relationship with her maternal grand-dad he passed away when she was about five years old. Rena loved her paternal grandparents. Her granddad was a humble, sweet, loving man who treated their grandmother like a rare pearl and diamond.

Mr. and Mrs. Sykes were the perfect married couple in Rena’s eyes. She prayed and wished her parents were able to get along as well. Mrs. Sykes was a strong willed woman who knew exactly what she wanted and did whatever it took to get it. Family meant everything to her. Mrs. Sykes loved Rena’s mom as a daughter.

Eventually all this feuding and fighting came to an end. Rena’s mom had been constantly packing secretly the whole week, She Knew Her Life Would Never Be the Same. Rena felt it, a shifting in the atmosphere. Even though she was 7 years old Rena knew her mom was preparing to leave their daddy forever. The thought of not knowing if and when she would see their daddy again frightened Rena.

Chapter 2

(THE DEPARTURE)

Rena’s siblings meant the world to her, she felt obligated to protect them at age 7. The day all five of them boarded the bus for Florida was a day of history, tremendous life altering situations were on the way. Rena was speechless, feeling powerless while thinking and saying, No one asked me, my brother or two sisters what we wanted, being told just get on the bus. This bus would be taking us to a whole new world, another state away from our daddy, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Rena at age of 7 knew this would be the first of many life altering experiences allowing her to know all strength and power comes from God.

Rena watched her mother while they journeyed along to their new beginning, appearing happy. There was a sense of peace upon her face. Rena didn’t understand it, she viewed her mom as the apple of their dad’s eye. Everyone could see and feel the love William had in his heart for their mother. Rena refused to accept it had come to an end. It was sad, Rena reminisced on the good times they spent with her grandmother Sykes. An extraordinary woman with a lot of self-confidence, quality, integrity and strength as a black woman. Most of all family meant everything to her. Grandma Sykes was a jazzy lady, sharp dresser from head to toe. A very dainty woman who loved to shop, always loved the finer things in life. Rena loved shopping with her. Her grandmothers were the kind a girl dreamed of having, may even pray for.

Grandma Clara was a True Woman of God. Rena thought of how she ministered God’s word and lived a Holy set a side life for Jesus. Blessed with a light that shinned within, What would we do without that light? What would my mom do without her guidance? Rena silently said. These two strong black women were precious. Rena was blessed with so many great characteristics as an inheritance from these two women. The first one was faith. Rena had faith that God would bless her daddy to return and take them home each time they left. She knew it was a God. Her grandmother prayed for hours to him and the other grandma spoke of God so often daily. Next was the desire to live righteous, she knew this had to be a way of life if you wanted to spend eternity with Jesus. Realness, honesty, loving kindhearted spirit, self-dependency, beauty inside and out, humbleness. Loyalty, thankfulness, leadership, a way with words. All these and more are the qualifications of her grandmothers and granddad Mr. Sykes as well.

Rena cried, moaned worse than someone in pain, her mother soon informed Rena the crying had to stop, or she would give her something to cry for. Rena thought, what more can you do to me. Our whole world has been turned upside down. Rena wouldn’t eat or drink, she missed home. While looking upon her brother and sisters, trying not to cry. The tears kept falling Why? Rena asked. They wouldn’t stop, they were uncontrollable. Rena knew Their Life Would Never Be the Same!

As they approached Jacksonville Rena became more afraid than ever. They always had the protection of their daddy. Her brother asked, Sister where are we going? Rena replied, It’s okay. Rena knew within, the greatest task would be protecting her siblings. While asking her mother who were the people they were visiting, Rena’s mother corrected her by saying we are not visiting we will be living there presently. Rena’s grandma Clara’s sister was a real sweet heart, Aunt Bee. She loved children and loved to cook, her cakes were so delicious they would melt in your mouth. They were treated well but it wasn’t home.

Rena’s mom resided with Auntie Bee for about a month, they soon moved in a 3 bedroom apartment. Rena was sad, it wasn’t home. The Sykes children had not seen or heard from their daddy in two months. One windy cool day, Rena and Lamar came home from school as they walked in the door she saw her daddy, this was the day Rena prayed for. Daddy I knew. I knew you would come to bring us home, thank you God for answering my prayer. Rena replied.

Rena’s daddy gave her an enormous hug and kiss, she didn’t care about his beard sticking her face. Oh how they all missed daddy. The entire Sykes family were crying. Daddy, please can we be a family again I’ll go pack momma! Rena replied. Mrs. Sykes explained Calm down your dad has something to tell the four of you. As Mr. Sykes informed Rena and her siblings that he had just joined the army. Rena’s whole world became despondent. Feeling betrayed by her dad, by God and especially by her mother. No longer wanting to talk to her parents, Rena was broken inside.

She cried all-night, what was wrong with these two people not recognizing them as her parents. How could they do this to their family, they laughed and talked as if everything was ok. The next morning Rena’s mom prepared to take her daddy to the airport. She realized their parents had slept in the same bed as if everything was fine. Mr. Sykes kissed each of them goodbye, Rena withdrew from him and ran to her room. Rena stop acting like a spoiled brat Mrs. Sykes screamed, now come to kiss your dad goodbye. Leave her be, its ok Mr. Sykes replied. They left for the airport, Rena’s cousin stayed with them. Rena regretted not kissing her daddy goodbye, while preparing for school the tears kept falling again as they did on the trip to Florida.

When Rena returned home she vowed not to speak with her mother, full of anger at both parents. As time progressed Rena received a letter from her daddy. She read the letter to her two sisters and brother, their dad sent pictures of him in a new country he seemed happy. Rena’s mom seemed happy having her freedom. Rena decided it was time they accepted the truth her parents’ marriage was over, the happy family no longer existed.

Rena’s grandparents decided they would make arrangements for them to visit every summer. This became the highlight event of their lives. Rena’s Aunt Sadie drove to Florida to pick them up. Rena was 8 years old at the time, her brother Lamar was 6 they were excited about leaving for Georgia. They needed a break from the constant fighting and fussing every day, on the bus and off the bus. The lifestyle was totally different. Their classmates were jealous of how Rena and her brother Lamar bragged on their daddy. Rena didn’t realize their dads weren’t in their lives, which explained why they were so bitter. Between all the fighting Rena and Lamar encounter daily they began to enjoy it. But the Sykes children were more than ready for Aunt Sadie’s arrival to take them back home.

Chapter 3

(THE JOY OF BEING BACK HOME AGAIN)

Rena’s Aunt Sadie arrived on May 31. An extraordinary day which would never be forgotten by the Sykes children. Auntie looked like a breath of fresh air, beautiful ray of sunlight, as the four of them almost knocked her over with hugs and kisses. Auntie explained that she would be coming to get them every summer, their grandmothers decided and agreed with her on this. It was the best summer ever, Rena felt so much love from all their grandparents. Rena’s grand-dad was a humble, loving, kind man, whom often was severely easy on disciplining his grandchildren. He was a hard worker, his job title was a grave digger. Something that would require hard work, intense digging and operation of a tractor and bull dozer.

Mr. Sykes was an incredible dad and granddad. After working so diligently and hard daily, Mr. Sykes looked forward to the weekend. Being able to sit under the tree on Friday evenings was his fun time with friends. Mr. Sykes was a kind hearted man, he drank moon shine only to become more loveable. With a huge heart, as Rena become older she would soon discover her daddy’s heart was the same and so was she. Being the kind of man that would give you the shirt off his back Grandma Sykes how ever knew that. This explained why Grandma Sykes was the financial advisor. Mrs. Sykes knew if Mr. Sykes could have it his way the corner store they owned would have went bankrupt a long time ago, because he would have given everything away.

When Rena and her siblings arrived, she remembered once again the heart felt love in the atmosphere of the Sykes Family home. It was incredible, and home still had a place in the universe for Rena. Grandma Sykes spread the table with the trimmings. Greens, cabbage, fried okra, fried green tomatoes, black-eyed peas, fried chicken etc.…… Being able to sit at the table as a family for dinner was heartwarming. Grandma Sykes taught Rena and her cousin’s etouquency of setting the table. Manners, how to cook, the dos and the don’ts of becoming a classy young lady.

Aunt Sadie was Rena’s idol growing up she was sweet and caring, with a heart of gold. Rena and her cousin James argued the whole summer, to the point Aunt Sadie said, She was feed up and refused to take it anymore. Rena was turning 9 in a week, she had to figure out a way to make peace with James. Fearing her aunt Sadie wouldn’t continue the tradition that was previously discussed. Rena decided to spend time with her Grandma Clara. She was back in town and wanted to spend time with them, this would give James and her a break from all the feuding.

That night Aunt Sadie informed her nieces and nephews by saying, It was talent show time, All talents were being requested tonight." Rena loved singing just as her Aunt Sadie, often practicing in front of the mirror with a brush (pretending it was a microphone). Rena loved Diana Ross, Gladys Knight, Natalie Cole, and Chaka Khan, Whitney Houston of course the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin music. Rena had a beautiful voice, she was often reminded by many how angelic her voice was. Rena’s dad had a great voice also, I guess you could call this a family affair. James and Rena was actually getting along they had not argued for four hours that was a celebration.

There was a knock at the door, James proceeded to answer the door. Rena was singing ‘Sweet Thing’ by Chaka Khan. During her singing Rena looked up and saw three of James friends walking in, she continued to sing. Rena knew all the lyrics to this song, because Florida was a big party for them, every weekend they heard soul and blues songs played from Friday night till Sunday. Rena’s cousins were amazed at how well she could sing, they were astonished at how Rena and her brother Lamar knew all the words to these songs. After Rena finished singing her aunt called James up, he requested his friends to join him in a dance routine. Out of the three of them two joined him, and it was remarkable. Rena found out their names were Jay, D’, and Redd. D’s eyes stayed focused on Rena as she were focused on him, it was love at first sight some would say puppy love.

James introduced every one, Jen knew them. Jay was 12 at this time, Redd was 9, D’ was 11, it was a spark between Rena and D’. That was the first time Rena met and felt a powerful connection with her childhood love. The following morning Rena, Lizzie, Lamar, and Rosalyn went to spend the next three days with their grandma Clara. Rena couldn’t stop thinking about D’, he was interesting, sexy in his own way. Rena loved the way she felt thinking about D’.

Grandma Clara called Rena’s mom while they were visiting to inform her of them spending the next few days there. Grandma Clara was so excited about their presence. Rena loved her grandma. Even though she didn’t understand why their grandma encouraged her mom to leave that day on the bus. Not knowing Grandma Clara supported her daughter in what she felt was best for the family. Rena began to realize why, the environment was not healthy for the four of them. With all the fighting and constant fussing, Rena prayed her parents could still remain friends. With prayer they did.

Rena was unaware that her grandparents, aunt and cousins were planning a surprise birthday party for her special day. She felt something special was about to happen, it was a good feeling deep in her heart. That morning Rena woke up to the wonderful aroma of Grandma Clara’s biscuits that would melt in your mouth, fluffy, delicious, just the way they remembered. After breakfast Rena’s grandma had bible study with them they also had prayer. Grandma Clara was a prayer warrior, at night she would make sure her grandchildren say their Our Father Prayers before going to sleep. Rena remember grandma Clara constantly on her knees, praying all during the night calling on Jesus, making request known unto the Father in heaven.

She enjoyed uncle Lee, whom was her mom’s baby bro. and Aunt Mae whom was her mom’s 2nd to the oldest sister, the two of them were a barrel of laughs. Aunt Sadie returned to pick the four of them up that Thursday evening, in Rena’s mind D’ was in her thoughts. James informed Rena he had been inquiring about her also. Rena knew she had to be nice to James so a connection could be made with his friend. Aunt Sadie asked them did they enjoy their visit, they replied yes. After they arrived at grandma Sykes Rena thought it is extra quiet in here. Aunt Sadie she asked, Where is every one? Well Rena, James is at his mom’s and mom’s. And daddy went out they will be back shortly. Auntie I pray daddy calls me for my birthday. Rena I’m quite sure he will, you’re his first born. Aunt Sadie replied. Shortly after Rena got out of shower she heard James and two other voices. Rena was praying one of those voices was D’. After approaching the living room Rena was disappointed it wasn’t him. Redd and Jay were the voices heard.

Rena looked around with disappointment all over her face, Jay was all smiles as he asked, What’s up Rena? Excuse me how do you know my name? She asked. Rena! James screamed, Who cares about your name girl you not important! Excuse me big head, I wasn’t talking to you Rena replied. I was talking to you Bertha butt! James smiled and said. Auntie, will you please make James leave me alone! Rena screamed! This is my company go somewhere girl, I will be glad when you go back to Florida James yelled! Rena was furious and sad, she was looking forward to at least talking to D’. Rena had to figure out a way to be nice to James, at least long enough to connect with D’ before departing back to Florida. When Rena walked away Jay said, Goodbye Na. Rena wondered why he called her that, but just proceeded walking out the room.

The next day was Rena’s birthday she was officially nine, feeling much older than that. Rena had taken on the role of being a mother to her three siblings when her mom was gone. Which was almost every weekend. Rena wondered if she would hear from her daddy. After all He was serving our country proudly he often said. Rena was sad her family was torn apart, but happy their parents still remained friends. Rena was embraced that morning with the wonderful smell of coffee brewing. She wondered if her grandma would let her have a little sip of coffee since this was a special day. Rena quickly went in the bathroom to brush