Private Stash: Love Poems from Heaven and Hell

By Al Ferber

"Al Ferber has created a world as seen through the eyes of Gus. Gus is irascible, nasty, haunted by ghosts, and transformed by his loves. Gus shamelessly invites us into his richly textured fantasies to witness his pain, his doubts, and his exuberance for living. Ferbers Gus is a master of the ordinary. He remembers streets he played on and neighborhoods of childhood conquests and defeats. We share his bed, and the inner recesses of his agile, wily mind. Gus fearlessly shapes poems out of scraps of memory and comes up whole for his efforts. Ferber is an original voice and through Gus spins out vivid scenes from a life."
Norman Newberg, MA
Author, Alternative Education Specialist & Consultant
Associate Professor, University of Pennsylvania

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 8, 2002
• ISBN: 9781462844548

Al Ferber

Al Ferber a septuagenerian going on 13. Born. Regrettably… A North Philly kid. Survived education at Temple U., Penn State, Villanova U. Alcoholic 30 years. Sober 23 years. Indenture servant to Catherine the Great 34 years. Learned to love and appreciate cats and one dog. Authored 30 books of poems, 2 novels, 3 chap books. Poems in Magazines in U.S., England, Scotland, France. Still alive, on the downward path of the sliding board, as of this writing. An undocumented alien in the world. Resides Ocean City, NJ surrounded by water with Cathi, Luna, Mitzi, and Opal. So there.

Book preview

Copyright © 2001 by Al Ferber.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author‘s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-7-XLIBRIS

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

Contents

INTRODUCTION:

ALSO BY AL FERBER

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

COMPREHENSIVE

ASSESSMENT

COMPREHENSIVE

ASSESSMENT

WITHOUT MUSIC

PULSE

EXQUISITE FANTASY

BROAD BEAM

QUIZZICAL NATURE

LIGHT SHOW

EUSTAQUIO

LINES OF DEMARCATION

FLOWER SHOW

FOOT LIGHT

LAWN DARTS

SQUIRT GUNS

TRADE WINDS

EXPRESSION

HONORABLE MENTION

LADY’S WORK

RAVENOUS

FUCKED

BONE SNAP

SELF SERVE

STALLION

SWEATER VEST

ORCHARD

MORAL OBLIGATION

LAUGHING MOON

LATRINE

LATERAL MOVEMENT

J. SCOTT & THE COAT

INTERTWINED

INTERLUDE

TRAINING WHEELS

HUNGER PANGS

FREE-FOR-ALL

FOUNTAINS

FANTASY

DARK HAVEN

CHINESE FIRE DRILL

CHINESE AUCTION

CHARLEY

HOLY BUMS

BLEEDER

BLACK LIGHT

BERMUDA

POEMS

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

BENCH MARKS

BENCH MARKS

BACKWARDS

ASPARAGUS

ALPHABETICAL

A LAND OF CITIZENS

PISS CALL

PERSPIRATION

RAIN OUT

STEAM BATH

BEMUSED

SOBBING TREE

UNDERBELLY

PHILANTHROPY

DEAD BRANCH

INTERNAL COMBUSTION

IRRESISTIBLE ALLURE

MEDIEVAL SLIP

SEISMIC SCALE

ROAMIN’ NUMERALS

SEEPAGE

AND WORLD WITHOUT END

WHO NOES

UNDECIDED

PARADISE LOST

RANDOM HOUSES

PISSING CONTEST

REPREHENSE

ROMAN NUMERALS

UNSOLICITED

ETERNAL WINDS

FAINT GLIMMER

HEART ZONE

HITHER & YON

STRETCH MARKS

SPOTTED PONY

STRETCH MOVE

PUBLIC SERVANT

FOREIGN TONGUE

ZOOM

COSMIC GENIUS

HORSE SENSE

LAUGHING MAN

MAD BOOKS FROM HELL

COMIC SADNESS

OPEN SPACES

CHARACTER DEFECTS

CORNERSTONE

ELECTRONIC CONVEYANCE

OVERDRAWN

UNDERCARRIAGE

UNDERCURRENT

UNDERGROWTH

BLUE COLLAR GIRL

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS

SMALL CITY

FERTILE GROUND

HIDDEN IN SHADOWS

HOLLOW TREE

FELLOWSHIP

BLACKOUT SWIMMING

BACK LOT

FAULTY MEMORY

IMMORTAL

ABORTED DREAM

BLIND EYE

REFRACTED DREAMS

SHORT SIGHTED

SILK CHEST

TINY UNIVERSE

CONCUBINE

COURT JESTER

DEPTHS OF DESPAIR

BLOODHOUND

OFF GUARD

PHILANTHROPIST

REHABILITATION

LIFE WITHOUT DREAMS

MERRY-GO-ROUND

NO EXIT

ONE MORE

DISAPPOINTMENT

LAUGHING MATTER

UNPROTECTED

BLUE COLLAR SAINT

MARKET COLLAPSE

CREVICES

LAID WASTE

UNVEILING

WORKING CLASS LOVE

SUMMER USE OF DREAMS

SAD RABBIT

UNBROKEN

WORDLESS COMPROMISE

IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

BRIGHT LIGHTS

IRRATIONAL

PLUGGING

LONG ISLAND

BEYOND CONCEPTION

BREATHER

REBELLION

ROSES ARE RED

RING AROUND

SHE CAME TO VIENNA

WILDWOOD, NJ

EYE OF THE

STORM

KILLING FIELDS

WILLOW THRUSH

SPASTIC

BLANK PAGE

WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE

METEORIC RISE

GOD’S WILL BE DONE

KILLING TIME

WAITING

LOUD MOUTH

PISSING IN THE HALL

MODIGLIANI MOMMA

ANGELIC CHOIR

CODA

MISER

SMALL APPLIANCES

WASTED ENERGY

for Cathi

INTRODUCTION:

Contained here are the deepest dark secrets of a mind plagued for over half a century with major depression, anxiety and the self imposed isolation and loneliness of alcoholism. It’s a laugh riot!

Gus

ALSO BY AL FERBER

SALVATION AND THE BEADS

(Newtown Printers) 1975

GUS (Pudding Press) 1982

INVENTORY IN THE BADLANDS

(Johnston Green Publishers) 1986

GUS: BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES OF A PART TIME ALTER EGO

(Cutting Edge Press) 1994

POEMS FROM THE AVALANCHE

(Xlibris) 2000

Al Ferber’s poems have appeared in numerous poetry journals and

periodicals.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Al Ferber lives with his wife Cathi in Bensalem, PA. He was born 1946 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, fell in love on Delhi Street at the age of 13, wrestled with alcohol in a steel cage match for 30 years and lost, while chasing after another love and dreams. He attended Bucks County Community College, Penn State University, Temple University and Villanova University. He has worked as a teacher, administrator of human service programs, restaurant manager and bartender and is currently working in the field of Drug and Alcohol Counseling. His next book, an autobiographical novel, Diamonds In The Rough will be published by Xlibris.

COMPREHENSIVE

ASSESSMENT

COMPREHENSIVE

ASSESSMENT

Gus wondered just how far

to what lengths the shy boy’d

go to meet her see her

or even just to get

to talk to her again

would he be willing to stand

on the front step of the

house where she lived

in their old neighborhood

and wait for her to reappear

would he stand guard

in the alley behind that house

just in case she tried

to sneak in the back door

would he be willing

to meet her on any corner

of any street in any town

or city in the world

to see her face again

would he be willing to ride

the buses and subway cars

of the city