Thoughts from a Life Misled

By John Briggs

I have known sadness and tears, depression and fear. By writing this book I have laid my soul bare. It is my hope you will find something in these pages that will stay with you, maybe even echo through your soul as always true.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 20, 2009
• ISBN: 9781462812783

John Briggs

John Briggs, Ph.D., is a professor of English and the journalism coordinator at Western Connecticut State University. He lives in Danbury, Connecticut. F. David Peat holds a Ph.D. in physics from the University of Liverpool and has written dozens of books on art, science, and spirituality. He lives in London and can be reached at www.fdavidpeat.com. They are the authors of Turbulent Mirror.

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Copyright © 2009 by John Briggs.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

HIM

CHAPTER 1

MY FEELINGS

NO PEACE

THE BOY

River of Hatred

THINKING ABOUT YOU

UNFORGIVEN

WORTHLESS

YOUR MOTHER’S MISTAKE

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

THE CHOICE

LITTLE BOY

ME

CHAPTER 2

ME

CONDEMNED

DAMIEN

URGES

JADED

NO FORGIVENESS

THE DREAM

WORDS

IMAGINE

BOXES

SHALLOW GRAVE

REFLECTIONS

GIVING UP

MY GRANDFATHER

BLESSED

NEVER

SINS OF THE FATHER

MISTAKEN

ABYSS

MESSED UP

LOOKING AT ME

REGRET

RAGE

A SIMPLE LIFE

CAPABLE

THE ROCK

LOSS

WINDOW TO THE SOUL

OUT OF LOVE

THE FLAME

WHAT’S RIGHT

SCARS

WINTER

NEVER HAD A CHANCE

PURPOSE

OCCASIONAL TOUCH

MORTALITY

ACCOUNTABLE

HAPPINESS

TRAPPED

SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT

MINE

CHAPTER 3

DREAMS

FATHER OR DAD?

HAUNTED

HERO’S

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

JUSTICE

MY LITTLE GIRL

PAIN

PAST LOVE

SOULMATE

THE PRICE

THE THRILL

LISTEN

MY CHILDREN

THEM

CHAPTER 4

THE CHALLENGE

A DIRTY SOUL

A STUPID MAN

FEAR

MY PATH

TOOLS

MARK OF A MAN

FREEDOM

LET THE PAIN GO

PRETENDING

MISTAKES

THE TRUTH

SADNESS

THE DARKSIDE

FALLEN

THE HAZE

WHAT’S RIGHT

TRADES

QUESTIONS

MUSE

ALONE

THE PAST

SPECIAL PLACES

THE TRIP

CAGED BIRD

OLD

SECRETS

CORRUPTED

PROGRESS

THE RIGHT TIME

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to my mom who believed in me, when everyone else gave up. My wife and kids who give me a reason to be a better man. My friend Zachary Neal Caywood who did the cover art. Finally Bonnie, who encouraged me to write this book and to all the people who have made me want to see how this game ends.

Thank you!

PREFACE

As you will come to see inside of these pages I have my own way of looking at things. For the most part I am easy going, I am not as dark on the outside in everyday life as I am in this book. On the inside I am pretty dark. I have done a lot of the things I have written about here. Others are just things that have crossed my mind.

It is my hope that getting everything out and down on paper would get it out of my head. I also like the idea of some day my kids will be able to look back at my words and see that their dad actually did have thoughts and feelings.

I once had an interesting life. It was not always so filled with anger and strife. I have taken advantage of many opportunities I have been granted over the years. I am an ordained minister. I have been parachuting, parasailing, bungee jumping, cave diving, and am open water dive certified. I have learned to protect myself with about every weapon out there including my hands and feet. I have lived, laughed, and most importantly loved. I have been places and done things most people only dream of.

I have also known sadness and tears, depression and fear. By writing this book I have laid my soul bare. It is my hope you will find something in these pages that will stay with you, maybe even echo through your soul as always true.

Thank you,

HIM

CHAPTER 1

MY FEELINGS

WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?

I HOPE ALL YOUR CELLMATES HAVE PUNKED YOU OUT.

LEFT YOU TO BLEED, CRY AND POUT.

PAIN OTHERWORLDLY, I WANT FOR YOU.

ABOVE ALL ELSE, BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE.

I KNOW LONGER WISH FOR YOU, A SLOW,