Piece of Mind

By Beverly Carry

PIECE OF MIND

Synopsis

Jake Tanner woke in restraints at Dana Bluffs Hospital. Although hed been admitted many times since hed been diagnosed as a schizophrenic two years earlier in this sleepy little town of Dana Point, California, this most recent hospitalization held a sense of urgency that time was running out.

January Colt, charge nurse of the adult unit, took an interest in the tormented man and it wasnt long before she discovered that Jake had a third eye, simultaneously confusing and intriguing her.

Although they are both unaware, Jakes struggle with his sanity involves a secret January is uncovering. As she gets closer to the truth, her boss, Alice Gross, dies. When she gets closer still, January disappears. It is then that Jake begins to utilize his special abilities.

His physical escape from the hospital is the starting point in his search for January, but he soon learns he must brush convention aside and rely on his sixth sense. The journey enlightens him; his life has been predestined, and is intertwined with hers for a reason. He must expose the secrets held within the walls of the institution, or kiss January goodbye.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 31, 2002
• ISBN: 9781462800551

Beverly Carry

PIECE OF MIND Synopsis Jake Tanner woke in restraints at Dana Bluffs Hospital. Although he’d been admitted many times since he’d been diagnosed as a schizophrenic two years earlier in this sleepy little town of Dana Point, California, this most recent hospitalization held a sense of urgency that time was running out. January Colt, charge nurse of the adult unit, took an interest in the tormented man and it wasn’t long before she discovered that Jake had a ‘third’ eye, simultaneously confusing and intriguing her. Although they are both unaware, Jake’s struggle with his sanity involves a secret January is uncovering. As she gets closer to the truth, her boss, Alice Gross, dies. When she gets closer still, January disappears. It is then that Jake begins to utilize his ‘special’ abilities. His physical escape from the hospital is the starting point in his search for January, but he soon learns he must brush convention aside and rely on his sixth sense. The journey enlightens him; his life has been predestined, and is intertwined with hers for a reason. He must expose the secrets held within the walls of the institution, or kiss January goodbye.

Book preview

Prologue

1965

Jake woke to sounds of muffled screams, and realized they were his. He pulled his head out of his pillow, and sat bolt upright.

The room came into view, and his tension eased when he recognized the squirrel nightlight winking at him from across the room. His anxiety reawakened at the sight of his leg dangling off the side of the bed. He jerked it back, and slid under the covers, whimpering, and pulling himself into a fetal position.

He tried to scream, but his voice caught in his throat, making a bleating sound. He peered into the shadows for signs of anything amiss, globe-like eyes dominating his face. When he was good and ready, he inched to the side of the bed, careful not to expose body parts over the edge. He took a few deep breaths, then counted to ten out loud before he peeked over the side. Toys were strewn on the floor, ones he forgot to put away. He breathed easier, their familiarity

comforting, but gasped when he glimpsed the furry body on the floor next to his bed.

Teddy, he whispered.

He scooted out from under the covers, and crawled across the bed on his hands and knees, his eyes on the floor. Then he dropped onto his stomach, and reached down for the stuffed bear. The cold caress of a hand grazed his own, and a voice just as cold, said, Some day, little one.

He screeched, and pulled his hand back. His mouth was dry, and he gulped, trying to work up some spit. Through chattering teeth, he said, You’re not real, my mom says so.

Jake heard a mewling sound, like one of the big cats on nature shows before it pounced on its prey. "Oh, I’m real all right. Just call me the boogey man."

Aggh! Aggg-hhhh! he screamed.

The shadows in the room disappeared with the flick of a switch, and his mother ran in, her nightgown fanning out behind her. She sat on the bed and pulled him close, rocking him until he settled down.

What’s the matter, honey, you have another nightmare?

It wasn’t a nightmare! I was awake.

You probably just thought you were. Dreams have a funny way of doing that.

"No, it was real He spoke to me. It was the boogey man."

There, there, honey lamb, she said, stroking the back of his head. "I know it seemed real, but there’s no such thing."

There is! He was under the bed.

How ‘bout I check it out. His hand flew to his mouth as she slid off the bed, and crouched down, checking under it. A moment later, she smiled. Nothing but a few dust bunnies.

Can I sleep with you and Dad?

Would that make you feel better? she said, standing and offering him her hand. He glanced at her feet, smack dab next to the bed, and clutched her around the neck. She wrapped her arms around him and carried him out.

Chapter One

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2001

Jake woke to the sound of distant waves, his cheek stuck to the mattress cover. His eyes felt like they were glued together, and when he tried to move, his limbs wouldn’t respond. Where am I? his mind screamed. He lay motionless for a long time, listening to the rhythmic pulse of the ocean.

At last, he was able to force his eyes open. Details were hazy, like the gray light filtering in the room—either approaching daybreak, or dusk.

He tried to lift his hand to scratch his nose, his eyes suddenly drawn down his arm where he discovered a leather restraint around his wrist. He pulled on his other arm, then his legs. All his limbs were shackled. He lifted his head, and twisted his neck around. His surroundings looked like a cyclone had passed through the room. Sheets trailed across the linoleum floor, exposing the plastic mattress.

His restraints limited his view to half the room. The walls were plain, painted a color that reminded him of lilacs in spring. The floor was gray. He started pulling on his restraints, twisting his hands, trying to ease them loose.

How’re you feeling? a voice behind him said.

His head shot up again. Huh? Who’s that?

She had been watching him for five minutes, sure he would wake soon. She was used to waiting. Many times as a child, she had sat vigil, wishing her parents awake after their return from one of multiple trips.

She shouldn’t have been in the room alone, but she broke the rules without a thought. She walked to the head of the bed. As soon as he spotted her amber eyes, he relaxed. January, what am I doing here?

You don’t remember what happened? she said, stroking his dark hair.

Not really, he said feeling strangely disembodied.

Can you tell me where you are?

He smiled weakly. "I can now. Dana Bluffs Hospital, Dana Point, California."

She smiled back. Very good. And the date?

Gotta give me a hard one. He closed his eyes, his lips tightening in a thin line. I know it’s the year 2001.

Uh-huh.

And it’s March. He stared at her. Do you want the exact date?

If you know it.

The last I remember it was March 28.

Well, you’re close, it’s six p.m. on the 29th.

Where have I been for the last twenty-four hours?

In here, wrestling with demons, near as I can tell.

Not again.

What’s the last thing you recall?

He tried to draw his hand up to rub his chin, then remembered he couldn’t. Let’s see, yesterday, hmmm. I ate breakfast with Amanda, although I can’t remember what.

So far, so good. I saw you two in the cafeteria when I was making rounds. Her eyes twinkled. You had French toast.

Pretty observant, Nurse January.

She smiled. We chart what all our patients eat. Sometimes it provides us with useful information. She knelt by the bed, and tapped him on the side of the head when his eyes started to close. What happened after that?

Jake focused on her long, chestnut hair, and felt dizzy. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he opened them, the feeling had passed. I went to the class on stress management, then psychodrama. Chris was the main role player.

That’s right, I was assisting in those groups.

Jake stretched his neck from side to side, cracking his cervical bones, then licked his cracked lips.

Would you like some water? She got up and walked to the corner by the door, and picked up a Styrofoam cup with a straw in it. Jake sucked until he drained it.

Sorry, my brain’s not in full gear. What did you ask me?

After psychodrama.

Oh yeah. Lunch is always after that group, but I don’t remember eating. Wait, I think I met with my doctor during that hour.

She picked up his chart and flipped through it. Right again, says here he saw you from noon to one.

His eyes narrowed, and he looked out the window. When he turned back toward her, he shrugged. Can’t seem to remember anything past that, including what Dr. Turner and I talked about.

She sat down, pulling her skirt over her knees. I wasn’t here after three yesterday, but according to the chart, you started mumbling to yourself, but pulled it together whenever staff questioned you. By five, you were trying to get out the door. You didn’t respond to directives, and when staff tried to walk you back into the lobby, you fought them. That’s when they took you down, and put you in restraints.

No shit, he whispered.

She gave him a sideways glance. The notes say that while in restraints, you were screaming at someone, but your speech was unintelligible.

Couldn’t have been someone fun, like Santa Claus?

Highly doubt it since your reaction was so severe.

His forehead wrinkled. „Did I hurt anyone?"

„Oh, you may have caused a back spasm or two when they carried you in here, but that‘s about it."

„I‘m really sorry."

Her face softened. „I know you are. In the past two years, you‘ve been admitted six times, and never once has your heart been in the wrong place. I just wish you didn‘t have to go through this."

„You and me both. He raised a shackled hand. „How much longer till I get out of this contraption?

„You know the drill."

„By heart. Okay, I promise I‘m under control, and if I feel like I‘m going to harm myself or anyone else, I‘ll come to staff before doing anything." He jiggled a hand, and leaned over, trying to form a salute.

She laughed. „Almost like memorizing Miranda."

„Heard it often enough."

„Tell you what—I‘ll get Dale, and we‘ll drop you down to three restraints. If you handle that, you‘ll be outta here in a half hour."

She stood and pulled her key ring off her wrist, walking toward the door. „Gotta lock you in, but I‘ll be back in a couple minutes, okay?"

„I‘m not exactly in a position to argue. Besides, you‘re one of the good guys." He flashed his teeth at her, then rested his head on the mattress. He thought back to when he was a little boy, and had visions. Many of them were good ones, not like the past two years. What had changed?

She was back in five minutes. Dale strode in behind her, taking up most of the door. At six-foot-five and two hundred fifty pounds, he was all muscle.

„Hey Jake, he said. „January told me you were back to your old self, and by the twinkle in those blue eyes, I think she‘s right.

„Last I checked, they were green," Jake said.

„Oops, sorry, man, I‘m a tad colorblind. Be grateful I didn‘t say purple, he said, walking over and sitting on the frame of the bed. The wood creaked under his weight. „January said you‘d contracted for safety.

Jake held up three fingers, the sign of a good scout.

„Which arm do you want out?" she asked.

„Let‘s go for the right one."

She walked to the window side of the room and leaned over, placing a key into the clasp by his wrist. At the same time, Dale released the lock on his left ankle. He scratched the itch on his nose, the small pleasure relaxing the muscles in his face.

„You know, a few colorful posters in here would do wonders for the place," Jake said.

„You know how it is, Dale said, „can‘t have anything in this room but the bed.

„Too bad it‘s bolted down. First thing I‘d do is push it closer to the window."

Dale smiled. „But then we wouldn‘t get as good a view on the camera. And as for pictures, they might cause some of the patients to escalate, rather than calm down. Especially if they‘re hallucinating. He looked up expectantly. „Ready, January?

She patted Jake‘s leg, and went out the door. „See you in thirty minutes. Be good."

They passed the anteroom on the way out. It had been added to discourage patients from escaping lock-up. Prior to the addition, there had been three successful attempts. But with the inner door and this one under lock and key, the problem had been solved. Dale rechecked the outside door and left to make rounds.

Thirty minutes later, Dale and January entered the restraint room. Jake was half asleep but opened his eyes to her touch.

He smirked. „Wow, for a minute there I coulda sworn I was out sunning on the beach."

„Ready to get up?"

„I was ready when I woke up the first time. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand. „And yes, I can still contract.

„Okay then let‘s do it," she said.

She released his left arm and waist restraint, while Dale unlocked the other leg. Jake pointed his toes and stretched his arms over his head. „Ooooh, that feels good."

„Sit up slowly, she said. „You ‚re gonna be dizzy at first.

Even though he‘d been asleep for hours before she‘d arrived that morning, he must‘ve been fighting the restraints during the night, because his muscles screamed in pain. Pushing against the bed, he raised himself to a sitting position, and dangled his legs over the side. The floor was cold on his feet. Suddenly, he didn‘t feel so rung out.

„What do you do, ice the floor to wake people up around here?"

„Yeah, real shocker, ain‘t it? I‘ll get your shoes when we get back out there," Dale said.

When he stood, the dizziness returned, but there was no danger of falling with Dale around. The bald man clamped his hand around his bicep, and steadied him. January stood on his other side, curling an arm around his waist.

„Where to?" Jake asked.

„The front lobby. I‘ve made up a bed for you by the fireplace, she said. „You‘re on twenty-four hour observation for awhile.

„Lucky me."

A few minutes later, Jake was safely tucked in on a couch, and fell asleep before he could thank either of them.

On the way back to the front desk, Dale grasped January‘s arm. „Think he‘s been cheeking his meds again?"

„You think that‘s why he went berserk?"

„Can you come up with another reason?"

She looked up at her co-worker, who stood a foot taller

than she, and sighed. „He‘s not the typical schizophrenic, Dale."

„What makes you say that?"

„For one, his first break wasn‘t until two years ago. Thirty- four is pretty old to start going nuts, especially since he had no previous signs. His family history is totally unremarkable; mother had a normal pregnancy and birth, passed through childhood milestones with flying colors, made good grades, went to Stanford. Did you know that up until his first break, he had his own T.V. production company, and for kicks, sometimes wrote the scripts?"

„You ‚re kidding?"

„Dead serious. I read an article in the Times about him, so he had to be pretty famous."

„Wait a minute, Dale said. „He was the guy arrested for disturbing the peace at some big shindig a few years back.

January nodded. „Remember the picture of him standing on a table? The headline said, ‚Psychic Doomsayer‘, or ‚Nut of the Year‘?"

„Yeah, something about a premonition, only he never pinpointed what it was, or when it was gonna happen."

„It was probably just hype to sell magazines. Poor guy got torn to shreds, just because he was mentally ill."

„Least you admit it."

„I didn‘t say he wasn‘t sick. But ever notice his animated facial expressions? Schizophrenics are generally deadpan. Plus he‘s got this outrageous sense of humor. Most of them don‘t even get jokes, let alone create them."

Dale inclined his head. „What would your diagnosis be, Dr. J?"

She stopped, turning back toward the fireplace. „Oh, I don’t know, but definitely not schizophrenic."

That I.M. Haldol seemed to do the trick.

Maybe.

You don’t think it was the shot of anti-psychotic that cleared his mind?

Who knows? He’s just not typical, that’s all. She saw his expression change. What?

I don’t know who has more rocks in their head … you or him.

Chapter Two

TUESDAY, APRIL 3

January ran down the walkway from the adult unit to the administration building, grimacing as she glanced at her watch. The luncheon meeting was about to start, and if she didn’t hurry, she’d have to sit through it hungry. She glanced over the grounds and waved to a few patients, thanking her lucky stars as she had every time she allowed herself a few moments to appreciate her surroundings. Twenty-five nurses had applied for the job as charge nurse five years before, and she had been picked.

She had admitted patients from all over the world, and what surprised her was, at least until recently, the hospital never had to advertise. Word of mouth had kept the facility flush, and it always had a waiting list.

She entered the building and nodded to the receptionist as she passed, trotting up the stairs to the conference room. Staff was still mingling around tables set up against the walls, waiting in line for meat and cheese platters. She fell in behind Jim Lovejoy, the owner, and Chief Executive Officer, who’d only just arrived himself. He turned toward her, and his eyes moved up and down her body, coming to rest on her breasts. Without realizing she was doing so, she pulled her sweater closed, and crossed her arms.

Good afternoon, January. Glad you could make it. Adult unit must be under control.

Although she smiled, the hair on the back of her neck bristled. Yep, pretty quiet today.

All due to you, I’m sure.

I think it has more to do with the patient-staff ratio you allow me.

Well, can’t have the patients running amok. Besides, I can afford it, he said, elbowing her, then staring back at her breasts. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.

Oh?

Seems we’ve lost touch—hardly ever run across you in the unit.

Still there, five days a week.

Then you must be avoiding me. I’d love to take you to dinner. It’s really time we got to know each other better, don’t you think?

We’ve been over this before. Please, let’s not go there.

C’mon January, it’s just a matter of time. I’m a fun guy. You’ll wonder what took you so long to say yes. I promise to take you to only the best places.

"I’m sure your wife wouldn’t appreciate it."

That’s cause she’s married. I like to think of it as an arrangement.

She shook her head. Sorry.

He slid his hand down her arm and leaned in close. I’d give her up for you. All you need to do is ask.

She cringed, then glared at him. You ‘re too good to me.

Heh, heh, you got spunk. I like that.

She turned her head toward the door and saw John walk in, waving him over. His eyes locked on hers, and his lips curled up. Hey, January, saving me a place in line?

Step right up.

John strode over and squeezed her shoulder, then shook Jim’s hand.

How’re things in the adolescent unit, John? Jim asked.

Got one in time-out, but other than that, all’s quiet. Must have something to do with the cycle of the moon, he said, and laughed.

When January’s plate was loaded, she waited for John and chose a spot opposite from where Jim sat.

He whispered in her ear as they pulled up their chairs. I saw how he was looking at you.

You and half the room, probably. I swear, if he wasn’t the CEO, I’d have to plot revenge. I thought he’d given up years ago.

This isn’t new?

Her head jerked involuntarily. Just one in a series of attempts. Most of them were before your time. Used to send me flowers, or some little gift he thought was me. Even sent me expensive pieces of jewelry, like it was only a matter of spending enough money.

Did you keep them?

Of course not. I mailed them to his office, with a nice note telling him to back off. Gave the flowers to a patient in dire need of a lift. She brushed the hair from her face. Later, I saw wife number four wearing a necklace he’d given me. She’d pointed it out, commenting on her husband’s good taste, and how he’d bought it because it had reminded him of her. She chuckled. I almost barfed on the spot.

How long has this gone on?

Started not long after I began working here. But it’s never been constant. In fact, each time, I think it’s the last, because he gives up for longer periods of time.

Why didn’t you bring him up on harassment charges?

I thought about it. But every time I got close to doing that, it was like he sensed it, and backed off.

That doesn’t sound like you. I would’ve thought you’d have nailed him.

She averted her gaze, and shrugged. Didn’t have a lot of proof after I’d tossed his objects of affection. And it wasn’t like he was stalking me. He never showed up at my house, or even called me at home. I like my job, and didn’t want to start a scandal. Don’t worry, I know how to handle him.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think he had something on you.

She flinched.

Keep your expression neutral, John said. He’s watching.

At least he’s not close enough to grope me.

A gavel struck the top of the mahogany table. Let’s settle down now, got lots of things to cover today, Dr. Simon said. The chief of psychiatry stood at the head of the table, looking down its length. Seems we’re all here. Okay, first order of business is our patient census. As you all know, we’ve usually got a healthy waiting list.

Murmurs of agreement floated through the room. Dr. Simon scratched his beard, waiting until the hush died down. You’ll all be happy to know we’ve struck an agreement with the owner of the property behind oYou mean where that old burned-out church sits?" one of the charge nurses asked.

Yes, and since it backs up to our property, it’ll be an easy transition. Instead of the eighteen acres we now own, we’ll have twenty-six. We’re going to gut the church, and make that the new rehab unit. This way, we can use the wings in the main building that are now rehab for additional adult psychiatric patients. We feel separating patients in drug rehab from those who are strictly psychiatric will be beneficial to both. And the new unit will be big enough to handle the demand.

Man, Jim must make a lot of dough, John whispered.

Shhh, I want to hear this.

Dr. Simon straightened his tie. Of course, this means we’re going to need more staff. Any of you know of any good nurses, psychiatric techs, and mental health workers who’re unhappy in their present jobs?

January, John, and a host of other employees nodded their heads in the affirmative.

How long will it be before the new building’s finished? Alice, the nursing director asked.

Soon as escrow closes, which should be within sixty days, we’ll start construction. The plans have already been drawn up, so I’d put it at mid-summer, weather providing.

I know of a couple people, John said.

Yeah, me too, another said.

Great. Put that bug in their ear now, so we can scoop ‘em up quickly. And don’t forget to remind them that we’re the highest paying hospital around. That’s always an incentive.

Not to mention twenty-six acres overlooking the Pacific Ocean, January murmured to Veronica, who was on her other side.

Yeah, it’s a regular country club, she whispered. Who wouldn’t want to work here?

I don’t want to seem snobbish, Dr. Simon said, but please, only tell those who are a cut above the rest. You know our hiring policies.

Do you still want the mental health workers to have a bachelor’s degree in psychology? January asked.

Absolutely. I know a lot of the hospitals no longer require it, but we still do. This way, we’ll get the best. He looked at the faces beaming up at him. Any more questions about this before we move on?

No one raised a hand. Okay then, I’ll let Jim take over from here. He’s got an announcement that I’m sure you’ll like as much as mine. Jim stood, and glanced at January before he began.

One thing I like to take credit for is knowing how to eat, he said, smiling and patting his belly. He waited for the chuckles to die down, then said, Unfortunately, our chef, Leon, has accepted an offer he couldn’t refuse, and will be leaving at the end of the month.

Where’s he going? Alice said.

Los Alamitos racetrack. He’ll be cooking for the box owners.

Shoot, John said. He’s the best we’ve ever had.

"Not to worry. I’ve hired a chef from the Ritz, and he‘ll be joining our family two weeks before Leon leaves. I‘ve eaten