The Little Girl Within

By Willia Winnie Momberere

Esther, a girl who has been groomed by her grandmother to trust and believe
in God, got a chance to go to high school. By divine connection, she meets
Beth on her way to school. Beths family becomes a blessing to Esther in many
ways. But an encounter with the Bad Girls Club, an occult group, separates the
best friends after the school was turned into a spiritual battlefi eld.
Esther hooks up with Sheila, a secret agent of the Bad Girls Club, who lures
her from her God. Ruben, a popular boy at school, becomes a major player in
altering her destiny, but God had not given up on her.
The Word that was sowed in her became a paintbrush stroking up and down,
bringing out the bright colors in her. Through Ms. Susie, her mentor, the power
of Gods Word weaved every thread in place, creating a tapestry of a fl awless
garment to cover the nakedness of her past, yet manifesting the greatness in her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 23, 2010
• ISBN: 9781456806354

Willia Winnie Momberere

Willia Winnie Momberere is also the author of The Print of His Hand and He Leads Me. She has the passion to reach out to people through writing.

Book preview

Copyright © 2010 by Willia Winnie Momberere.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2010917587

ISBN: Hardcover     978-1-4568-2345-0

ISBN: Softcover       978-1-4568-2344-3

ISBN: Ebook           978-1-4568-0635-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgment

Disclaimer

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

The Well That Never Dries

Books By Willia Winnie Momberere

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the little girl within who has been bruised and wounded and has shut down to escape the hurts of this world. I pray it will help you find yourself and take your position to fulfill your destiny.

To my children Dawson, Benjamin Talent, Linda, and Penelope Nyasha K. I love you, and may God continue to teach you and give you peace.

My brothers Edgars, Tonderai, Cornelius, and Moses, and my only sister Tendai. I couldn’t have asked for better siblings than you.

My dear mother Martha Nhamburo. I admire your strength. Thank you for encouraging us to stay in unity and love.

We will always love and miss our father Enos Nhamburo, who went to be with the Lord on September 26, 2010. We will treasure the gift of loving one another he taught us.

I have to reach all the way down,

to bring back to life the girl within,

bruised, wounded, and discouraged.

It takes faith to allow God’s mighty hand

to lead her to a place of rest,

where deliverance and healing awaits;

then she will stand up to live again.

Acknowledgment

Special acknowledgment to the NIV Study Bible. Copyright 1985 by Zondervan and the Living Bible, paraphrased in 1972.

Disclaimer

The name and location of the school are real, but the events of this book are fictitious. The Bad Girls’ Club does not refer to any other club but the fiction story in this book.

1 

It was a beautiful summer day. Children were shouting on top of their voices playing hopscotch and hide-and-seek outside. In the high-density suburbs in the capital city of Harare, housewives were sitting under the shade of the mango trees, enjoying the cool breeze, laughing, gossiping and sharing their deep dark secrets. Men who knew their positions in their households were at work or doing something profitable to fulfill their roles of being providers and protectors of their families. Others were either sleeping or sitting in bars, busy blaming the government and the rich people for their poverty.

Esther, feeling out of place, had quietly walked away from where the older women were talking. She was sitting on the doorstep cuddling her baby. Ruth was a bundle of joy to her mother despite the circumstances in which she was conceived. Each time Esther looked at her baby, she smiled and whispered in her ear how much she loved her.

She was so consumed with her baby that she did not notice her cousin Grace standing over her until she cleared her throat to speak. Esther, you need to leave that baby to play with the other children and start preparing supper. You get so carried away with your baby that sometimes I wonder if you ever think of improving your life at all. My guess is you think having a baby is the end of life, and that worries me to the bone.

Esther looked up to her cousin as she was letting go of her daughter and spoke with a sad soft voice, There you go again, cousin! How many times am I supposed to remind you that the mistake I made cannot be corrected at all? This baby is all I have in this world. Almost every night, I cry myself to sleep thinking that if my parents were still alive, maybe things would have been different. Some other nights, I dream of Ruben apologizing for rejecting responsibility of my pregnancy, promising to marry me and take care of his family. The other night, it was so real, Cousin Grace, that I woke up my heart pounding with joy.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Grace laughed, throwing her hands up. Take care of his family? Meaning you and Ruth? My goodness, I give up on you, Esther. How many times should I tell you that Ruben has moved on with his life? Wake up and smell the coffee, girl. Bury the past and move on. Use yesterday’s mistakes as a springboard for betterment. Your life does not end here, Esther. Start channeling those past errors into constructive ends. What’s wrong with you? Learn, be alert, and make sure not to repeat the same mistakes in life. Ruben is now in America and has probably forgotten all about you. Can you point with your finger where America is? Visualize the beautiful faces of the American girls. . .  Grace posed like she was really seeing the images of the American girls. All those beautiful faces we see on television. Come on, cousin! Let’s talk about something else. Your name probably does not cross Ruben’s mind in his world.

Grace looked down at her cousin when she did not answer and noticed she was crying. Ooh my goodness! I’m sorry, Esther dear, I did not mean to hurt you. I was only trying to help. Sometimes I talk too much. Please forgive me, Grace spoke, kneeling down beside her cousin.

Oh God, set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips and give me wisdom to speak things that do not hurt others. But. . . I always fail You, Lord. Grace was now looking up in a prayerful posture with her hands on her cousin’s shoulders.

Esther wiped her tears with the back of her hand and said, Don’t apologize, Cousin Grace. It’s just that sometimes the truth is so difficult to swallow. You know you’ve been good to me, girl. You took me in when I did not have anywhere to go. I was pregnant, confused, and lost. Nobody, not even my aunt Helen wanted anything to do with me. I was an embarrassment and an outcast to my own family. Oh, how I wished I had died together with my parents in that fatal bus accident. To be honest with you, I’m tired of telling my own story. Sometimes I feel so trapped in it that I cannot see my way out. I’ve walked in the wilderness for so long that I’m familiar with all the thorns and thistles in it. Now to me the pain is normal. The power to change my story has been robbed by those who have hurt me. Trying to get out of my shame is like taking fish out of water, hoping it can survive outside its environment. I refuse to listen to that still small voice telling me almost every day that I have compassed this mountain long enough. I hear the soft whisper urging me to move forward, but the darkness around me seems to be more comfortable. Taking a step forward is scary. My trust in that voice was swept away by the storm that destroyed my parents on that miserable day. I used to think mountains were just an illusion, but now I’ve a different picture. They seem to be real and unconquerable. Valleys are now like an endless pit ready to swallow me alive. I used to believe that God was bigger than anything and everything in this world, and now I’ve lost my trust in Him. I don’t feel Him alive anymore around me, and I don’t. . .  Esther did not finish what she wanted to say because she heard some footsteps coming toward them. She raised her head up to see who was coming at such a crucial hour when she was about to pour her heart out to her cousin.

A slender tall girl was only a few meters away from them. She was dressed in a pink blouse and a black skirt that fitted her so well that it looked like she was born in it. Her hips were swinging from side to side in a rhythm exciting to watch. Black high-heeled shoes matched her skirt, and in her right hand, she was holding a black clutch bag. Neither Esther nor Grace recognized who she was. As she got closer, she smiled, and in a soft purring voice, she said, Hallo, Esther, I’m so glad I found you. I was wondering if I was ever going to see you again. But I thank God for His faithfulness. There you are, my friend. Come on, girl! Stand up and give me a hug.

Esther could not move. She could not believe her eyes. Her best friend Beth had changed so much. If she had not smiled to show those dimples Esther had always envied so much, she would not have recognized her at all. Esther thought she had lost her best friend forever. In fact, she never wanted her to know where she was. Who would want to see their best friend after they had messed up like she had done? They had shared their dreams, but hers were shattered when she took a wrong turn that led her to a dead end. To make matters worse, she had betrayed her friend even if Beth did not know. The memories of the night they had made a pact to remain virgins until they got married flashed in Esther’s mind. Her heart sank, and the feeling of failure, which always made her draw back into her shell of shame and self-pity, suddenly gripped her. And she became aware of the way she was dressed. A feeling of inferiority crept in, and she shut down.

Esther gaped at her friend. She was tongue-tied, and after what seemed like a long time, she stood up and walked slowly toward Beth. I ca. . . ca. . . can’t believe it is you, Esther stammered. My goodness, you really look different. If you had not smiled honestly, I would not have recognized you. You don’t have any inkling how. . .  Esther tried to swallow the big lump on her throat. Her emotions took over, and she started sobbing. She hugged her friend and buried her head on her chest. I’m so glad to see you, my friend, Esther whispered.

Beth took a step back and put her hands on her friend’s shoulders. She looked into Esther’s eyes and whispered back,

I missed you, Essie. Every day, I prayed that one day I would see you again. I’m so sorry about your father and mother. My god, how are you holding up, my dear friend?

Esther felt a wave of joy sweep over her when Beth called her Essie. She reminded her of her mother who used to call her Essie in a musical and exhilarating way. She felt her strength slowly sipping back. Beth had been her pillar when she was weak. Like her mother, she used to tell her of her strength, never throwing her weaknesses into her face. Beth had always completed her where she lacked. Their friendship was built on love, trust, and respect for each other. For a second, Esther was lost in her thoughts of the night they had drunk to their friendship, a friendship so liberal, with room for celebrating the differences of each other. Yes, she remembered the night they had promised each other to be friends forever.

Grace had to clear her throat to remind Beth and Esther that she was also a participant in this episode.

Oh, I’m sorry, Cousin Grace. In my excitement, I forgot all about you. This is my best friend Beth I always talk about. Beth, meet my cousin, Grace. She is like a mother to me.

Grace smiled and shook Beth’s hand. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. But Esther never mentioned how beautiful you are. You look like that American actress. Ah. . . what is her name, Esther? Grace asked, still holding Beth’s hand.

You mean Halle Berry?

Grace squeezed Beth’s hand, agreeing with Esther. Oh yes, you sure look like her.

Beth smiled and spoke in her soft voice as usual, Thank you! Now you are making me walk around with a big head on my shoulders. May I call you Cousin Grace?

Grace squeezed her hand again and said, Of course, you can call me Cousin Grace and don’t let anyone stop you from holding your head up. You’re beautiful. Come on in! I can tell that Esther is so excited she forgot to invite you in the house. Grace led the two girls in.

Well, I’ll leave you two to fill each other up with what has been going on in your lives. I promise I’ll resist the temptation of eavesdropping, Grace spoke her voice, almost choking with excitement. She was happy Beth had come at such a time like this. She knew deep down in her heart that God’s time to restore Esther was at hand. Beth was an angel sent from above to pull Esther out of the miry clay that was burying her alive causing her to miss her destiny.

Grace looked up and thanked God in silence, Oh, what a faithful God You are. There is none like You, Abba. You’re not only the creator but the re-creator of broken dreams and broken hearts. Have Your way in Esther’s life, Lord. If You choose to use Beth to walk her through her obstacles, then let it be.

Tea or coffee? Grace asked Beth with a smile on her face.

Tea, Beth replied politely, at the same time her hand reaching out to her friend.

Grace couldn’t miss noticing her neatly manicured hands. Beth was an elegant young woman, and Grace knew her cousin had the same qualities if not more. She had been praying for Esther to rise up and walk toward her journey to greatness, but Esther had allowed her past to dictate her future. She was a prisoner of the fears and regrets of yesteryear. For some reason, Esther was refusing to end the last episode of the previous act of her life despite the pain and hurt it caused. Now her past had become an anchor dragging her down.

Grace also knew Esther needed more than prayer. She needed a mentor, but Grace thought she was not the right person to help Esther take a step forward. Revamping of thoughts was not her thing. She too was struggling with negative emotions. She remembered her pastor teaching about the renewal of the mind, and she had tried. But still, her negative thoughts outweighed her positive thoughts. Thank God that He had not allowed the horror she imaged in her life to come to pass. Fear was the enemy in her life, yet she kept feeding it whenever it visited her home. Could it be that she didn’t feed her mind with the Word of God enough to change her thinking pattern, or was it that her focal sense was messed up? Why did she always imagine the worst and not the best in her life? She was basically a pessimist, and she didn’t know how to turn it around. Grace sighed and concluded that may be she was not gifted in the area of mentoring and teaching. There was no reason to torment her spirit with things she could not change. Grace decided to take the easy way of letting go as she had always done. She started humming a tune, pouring hot water into the teapot.

Beth and Esther had so much to talk about. The tea that Grace had set on the table before them went cold. There were moments they laughed and moments they cried. There was five years of lost time they had to fill each other with.

My god, let’s stop all this crying and behave like big girls. I want to know everything from the time I left you at Howard High School up to now, Beth spoke, looking directly into her friend’s eyes, so attentive not to miss anything.

Esther shifted in an effort to sit up, but she could not. She knew her gestures would sell her out. She remembered the times when they would talk, and if either one of them lied or missed a small detail, good or bad, they would point a finger to each other. And together, they would say, Spit it out before it gets too hot. Remember, attitude is like bold handwriting on the wall!

Esther could not look directly into her friend’s eyes. I want to know about you first, my friend, she said with her eyes downcast. She did not want Beth to see the embarrassment written all over her face. Let’s start with the good news, which stimulates joy, and then we’ll be filled with the strength to swallow the bitter taste of the bad news I have.

Beth looked at her friend with eyes glowing with a mixture of love and compassion and said, There is no bad news where you won’t find the hand of God around it, my dear. No matter how bad the situation may seem to be, there is always the goodness of God somewhere. All you need is to ask God to open your eyes to see, and then you will realize all things work together for good. God always turns things around for His glory.

Esther looked at her friend surprised. Wait a minute, girl. When did you become your mother’s daughter? Remember you used to tell me that your mother was too religious and she scared you?

They both laughed and gave each other a high five, and between a laugh, Beth said, Oh, Esther dear, knowledge is an amazing tool. God was not joking when He said His people perish because of lack of it. It is a fact, and I finally learned that God is truly alive like you and me. The big difference is He is more powerful, all-knowing, and He is present everywhere. He is the creator of heaven and earth and everything in it. I’ve heard some people referring to God as the universe, and it’s all wrong. He is greater than the universe because He created it. Referring to God as the universe diminishes His greatness. He is God Almighty. He is full of mercy, and He loves us with so much love we can never understand. God works with us at any level we may be in life when we let Him, and that’s what makes Him God. Someone taught me the difference between religion and having a relationship with God. I remember when you used to explain it to me, but that time, I had ears but could not hear. At His time and by His grace, I finally got it. The day I understood His covenant and signed up, I found joy and peace. Since then, I’ve never looked back, Essie. I’ve discovered that all I need is to trust in Him. I don’t have to have dos and don’ts like I used to think Christianity was all about. I just hold Jesus’s hand and let Him lead me where He wants me to be. He is the way, and I don’t need a road map to study to follow Him. I was bad at reading grid maps at school anyway, and you know that. All I need is to follow Jesus one day at a time, and because of that, I’ll surely find myself at the center of God’s will.

"Tell me about it, chick," Esther said, sitting up. Her eyes lit up with excitement, and her ears started tingling in anticipation to hear more. For a long time, she had been nursing a part of her that had been pushing God away. But this was her best friend for heaven’s sake. She had to listen and support Beth no matter how much it was going to contradict with the decision she had made concerning God.

I don’t want to spoil this subject. I’m still a baby in these matters. Let’s go! There is someone I want you to meet. Both you and me will begin to feed on milk and grow together. We have always been a great team, Essie. We can do this. I promise I’ll tell you all that has been going on in my life along the way. And by the time we get to our mentor, you’ll be ready to be transformed,

Beth spoke, standing stretching out her hand to help her friend up.

As they stepped out, Esther looked at her cousin with a look only Grace understood. She was not ready to tell Beth that she had a daughter. She told herself that Beth would know when the time was right. She did not want to spoil this reunion by bringing in a third party before the proper introduction time. But deep in her heart, she knew her friend would fall in love with her sweet little angel. Ruth was a gift from God, wrapped in gold and tied with a purple ribbon. God had allowed her to be born through her for a purpose.

She was surprised her mind kept taking her into the arena of God today. Each time she thought of God, she felt her blood rushing to her head. She thought she was done with Him when He took her father and mother away from her at a time she needed them most. She had been so mad at God that she had tried to shut Him out of her life. What she couldn’t understand was how she was going to function with God out of her life since He is life. Esther failed to see God’s humor by bringing her friend back in her life, yet she felt a cool breeze in the very center of her heart that she thought had turned into a stone. She had not felt this way in a long time. Esther wondered if it was time to go back to her first love. She remembered how she felt when she was in God’s presence, and she shuddered. She missed talking to Him. She missed the peace and the joy she used to experience sitting at His feet and drinking from His cup. There was a piece of her that was crying out for God Almighty, but she had tried so hard to suppress it. Today was different. The more she tried to push that thought in a dark corner, the brighter the light became in her heart. The Holy Spirit was taking her back to the drawing board, but she was not ready for such a commitment.

Esther was still trying to find the good out of what she had gone through, but darkness was suffocating her. Her eyes could not see any light that could lead her at the end of the tunnel. To her, life was a stretch of unexpected events that could change one’s plans in a split second. She knew adversity was a good teacher, and there was no way she was going back to the god she had trusted but failed her. A god who had turned her life upside down was the last superior being she wanted. Where on earth was He when she needed Him most? He could have protected her parents that day for her sake since she had given her life to Him at a tender age. Esther held on to the big knot she had tied in her heart, never to fall in love with God again. But the more she held on, the more she remembered the verses and letters she used to write to the King, and she smiled. Before she knew it, she was reciting one of the verses in her heart:

Hold me, my love, and walk with me.

Lead me to a place where still waters lie.

Speak to my heart and calm me down.

Let me melt in peace everlasting,

as Your sweet voice soothes my soul.

When I feel Your arms around me,

I will not fear.

I know my protector is right here with me.

Oh, how she used to be in love with the Lord. Even now she felt His strong arms enveloping her, but she pushed Him away. Why did He let her down? He had promised never to leave her or forsake her, yet on that midnight hour, she never felt Him near her at all. It was dark and scary. Where was He? Had He not promised to be always there for her? Had He not promised to surround her just as Jerusalem was surrounded by the mountains? Yet when she had looked around on that day, God had disappeared from her. He had left her vulnerable, and vultures tore her to pieces. Why did He break his promise? Why did He snatch her parents away from her? Why? Why? Why her? Her thoughts led her to everyone she knew and tried to think who among them was suitable to carry such a heavy burden. Her finger trembled. She could not point to none of them. Could it be that God knew she was strong enough to bear the cross she carried better than the other people she knew? Or did He allow it to happen to punish her for breaking His commandment and breaking the pact she had made with her friend? She couldn’t come up with an answer.

I have been there when you were going through deep waters and great trouble. I held you with my right hand when you were going through rivers of difficulties to keep you from drowning.

Esther looked around. She thought someone had whispered those words in her ear, but she immediately dismissed the thought as an illusion. For a moment, she was unaware of her friend who was talking to her cousin when they got out of the house. She came back from the depressing memory lane in time to hear her cousin saying parting words to her friend.

I hope you’ll come back to see us, Beth, Grace spoke with a smile on her face.

You’re going to get tired of seeing my face here, Cousin Grace. As a matter of fact, I’m coming back to spend the night if that is okay with you.

You’re welcome, my dear. We love your company. And, Esther, don’t worry about anything whilst you are gone. I’ll take care of everything. Go and enjoy, Grace said, winking her right eye.

Thank you, cousin. I love you.

I love you more!

Grace watched the two girls as they walked hand in hand. She prayed that their friendship would not be separated by past mistakes. Loyalty and trust had been broken, but there was nothing God’s hand could not mend. Grace knew a good friend would come from the Lord, but the enemy would always try to bring confusion. The devil would always try to blow the chaff of others into our eyes, blinding us to see the good in them. She looked up and whispered to herself, Blessed is a friend who remembers what they were before and sees what they can be after. Nothing can come between friends who see beyond each other’s mistakes.

2 

It was raining hard when the bus assistant told Esther to get ready to alight at the next bus stop. She looked around to see if there was someone else getting down. To her disappointment, she was the only one. She hesitantly moved forward wondering if she had made a mistake to choose a school so far away from home. Her teacher Steve had recommended this school because he came from this area. Besides, he was a great guy who knew what he was doing in life. She smiled to herself as she remembered how the girls in her class used to have a crush on Steve. He was handsome, and he knew the girls in his class liked him, but he was too smart to mess up with schoolgirls.

The bus creaked to a stop, jerking Esther’s mind back to the moment of now. She grabbed her two bags and stepped out in the rain. The road was muddy, and it was getting dark. She looked around trying to figure out which way to go when a car suddenly splashed mud all over her. In a panic, she threw her bags down, screaming and at the same time trying to wipe her eyes. Oh, Jesus! What did I do to deserve this? she cried. How I wish my parents had a car. My father would have brought me here since it is my first time to be at a boarding school.

She opened one eye, and she noticed that the car that had caused all the commotion was reversing. She looked back to see if there was someone they were coming back for, but she was the only one in the road at that time. The car stopped right beside her, but she picked up her bags and started walking, ignoring whoever was in the car. She was taught not to talk to strangers or get into strangers’ cars when she was a little girl, and even at this age, she knew better. It was worse these days because of scary stories being told about people doing evil things, kidnapping and killing other people without remorse. She had always wondered what this world was coming to. Whoever that man was or whatever he was trying to pull, Esther knew she wasn’t going to be part of it.

Hello there, daughter! I’m sorry I did not see you, the man in the car spoke to her.

Esther was so mad she did not answer him, and she walked even faster.

I can see that you’re wearing a uniform of the school I’m taking my daughter to. I can give you a ride if you promise to forgive me. I sure did not mean to ruin your day like that, the driver said, driving slowly beside her. The school is two miles from here. You sure need a ride especially in this rain. Come on in, you can sit with your friend in here.

Esther peeped in the car, and a beautiful young girl opened the door for her. The man was right. His daughter was wearing the same uniform she had. He got out of the car to put Esther’s bags in the trunk.

Hi, my name is Beth. I’m sorry about what just happened. I hope you’ve another pair of uniform to change. Don’t worry if you don’t have. It looks like we wear the same dress size. I can give you one of mine if you don’t mind, the girl in the car said, smiling.

Esther was surprised at the way this girl spoke to her. She spoke like she knew her all her life, and Esther fell in love with her instantly.

Hello, my name is Esther. Thank you for the offer. I’ve an extra pair. I hope I’ll be able to change before I get into the principal’s office, she said, smiling at Beth.

Don’t worry, Beth replied. I know my way around the school. I’ll make sure we go to the dormitories first. Daddy brought me here a week ago. To get familiar with the place. . . you know. This school is way out of town, and I cannot believe I bought my father’s idea to come down here. I shouldn’t have listened to him. I’m a city girl, bred and buttered in Harare. Now look at me in the middle of nowhere.

Esther was so surprised at the way Beth spoke about her father as if he was not there. She couldn’t imagine talking like that about her father even in his absence.

What story did your father tell you that you agreed to come to this school, Esther? I hope he didn’t act like my father who trashed all my other choices and dumped his choice on me.

Beth’s father laughed and said, I’m right here, girls. I can defend myself, counselor. I’m guilty as charged, but this is one of the best schools in this country. First of all, it is a mission school where the Word of God is taught, and second the teachers are so devoted. And I don’t have to mention that there is a mission hospital close by in case of emergency. I was educated here and met the love of my life at this school. I don’t think it is a crime to send my baby girl to a high school I cherish so much.

Beth leaned on her new friend’s shoulder and said,

I’m sorry, Daddy. I did not mean to hurt you. I know you want the best for me, and I’m sure I’ll like it here. Beth did not give