A Matter of Trust

By Bertrice Woods

Marcella Evans is a twenty-eight-year-old businesswoman with a thriving social Work practice. Her reclusive life has not given her the most pleasure, and she now desperately wants a baby to love. However, her choices are limited because of her evasion of the opposite sex. The only person who she would be

• Language: English
• Publisher: Writers Branding LLC
• Release date: Aug 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781639451296

Book preview

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Contents

Acknowledgments

One

Two

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Previous Published Book

by Bertrice Woods

Dakota's Angel

To

My husband, Gary Morgan, and all my five children: Jeramy, Timothy, Roderick (RP), Jazz, and Jasmine. My sweet daughter-in-law Jennifer and my two beautiful granddaughters: Jermecia, and Tajenae, who has granny’s heart.

~

In loving memory of my dear mother, Cora Pearl Allen and father, Doyle Allen Jr.

And

My dear grandmother, Roberta Bailey (Big Mama), and grandfather, Timothy Bailey (Big Daddy).

Acknowledgments

I give all thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for the inspiration of writing. Thanks to my mama, Cora Allen, for instilling in all her six children the spirit to never give up without a fight. This book has been in the making for a long time, but the time is now to let these wonderful characters out to live in the minds of those who will love them as I do. Love to my husband Gary, who forever keeps me focused. Special thanks to my daughter Jasmine and my sister Mary who were my sounding board, unofficial editors, and advocates. I would also like to thank the wonderful team at Writer’s Branding; I give all of you kudos for a job well done.

Chapter

One

Lounging in her comfortable king-size bed late one fall Saturday morning, Marcella Evans was once again daydreaming of babies. Lately the longing for a baby of her own had been nagging at her insides. The longing had come back again at her clinic today, when a client had come in for counseling and had showed her a picture of her five-month-old baby boy. Marcella wanted to have a baby. Her maternal instincts had been having a field day with her hormones. She was a healthy twenty-eight-year-old single African American woman who had a serious issue with men. She did not like them. The only men not on her I do not like you because you are male list would be her pastor, and her best friend Kevin. Marcella had found out the hard way that men could be brutal and deceiving.

If she were going to have a baby, it would have to be with someone she loved and trusted. That left few pickings from her point of view. Her pastor was an unmarried widower, but she did not want to entertain the thought of going to hell for asking the man of God for his sperm. The only person to fit that bill would be her best friend Kevin, who happens to be gay.

Marcy thought about her best friend Kevin Daniels. He had been her best friend since she was a freshman at college. Marcy had been an all-star basketball player in high school and had acquired a four-year college scholarship. Unlike other young girls her age, she had not been into boys but was only interested in playing basketball and keeping her grades up. The boys were into her though, because of her attributes. In junior high, the girls had been jealous of her increasing bust size and rounded curves. It had gotten worse in high school, and the girls saw her as serious competition with the boys. They became real haters toward her, but she had ignored them and the boys, and concentrated on basketball and graduating with good grades.

When she began college, there were always some persistent boys trying to distract her by asking her out, but she would usually turn them down, and often not in a nice way. Marcy was not interesting in dating. Keeping up with her grade point average and playing basketball took up most of her time. One night when she was on her way to the dorm from practice, a persistent young man who had continually asked her out got angry when she once again turned him down. He grabbed her by her braids and dragged her behind some tall bushes, beat the crap out of her, and raped her. She had laid there behind those bushes for what seemed like hours, until Kevin, then a senior at the same college, had found her bruised and battered and took her to the hospital.

Kevin had been her savior that day, and even though she was angry and bitter, she had reluctantly allowed him in her life because he had told her he was gay in the emergency room that night. Marcy had been bruised in her body, heart, and soul, and he had only been tolerated because of his sexual preference. It had taken months and months of counseling to build her mental spirit, yet Kevin had been there for her through it all. Marcy had wanted him to leave her alone in her misery and pain, but he had refused. He had taken her verbal abuse, yet he would always come back to give her a shoulder to cry on when she needed. It had taken a while before he could get within two feet of her, but because of his insistence and perseverance, she allowed him into her personal space for comfort when she needed it.

Now it was ten years later, and Marcy simply did not know what she would do without him in her life. He had proven his loyalty over the years, and she loved him dearly. Thinking of him now brought a smile to her face. She thought of his many endearing qualities, such as being a good housekeeper. She could be a slob when she wanted to, but Kevin always kept an immaculate place. He would often come over and start picking up dishes on the end tables and putting them in the kitchen sink. Right there and then he would roll up his sleeves and clean up her kitchen. He used to fuss at her about her messiness until she told him if he did not like it, then he could just clean it up himself. Now he would do just that.

If she had laundry that needed washing, he would do it for her if it were in a basket near her washer. It was nothing for him to fold her clothes, and that included her undies. Once she told him he would make a good wife, and he only laughed that deep laugh of his. Other than those domestic qualities, you would not know that the man was gay by any means. He was the only gay person she knew, so she did not have anyone to compare him to, but rumors of tidiness were attached to gay society, especially the men.

She had never seen him with any lovers, and she wanted to keep it that way. The image of him with another man turned her stomach. Although she did not want a relationship with anyone, she felt that Kevin would make some woman a wonderful husband if he was straight because he was so thoughtful and sweet. He was always bringing her something special and unexpected. His birthday was coming up in a week, and she wanted to take him out somewhere special. She might surprise him by asking some family and friends for a dinner out. He always got on her about not fixing herself up more, so she planned on surprising him with a whole new makeover. She did not want him to be embarrassed when they went out.

Marcy glanced at the picture of her and him on her nightstand. They had taken it at Six Flags the year before. He had grabbed a stranger and asked him to take the picture. Yes, Kevin was one handsome devil, but she did not want to focus on the male side of him. Yet how could she not? He was over six feet tall with a nice edged short cut hairstyle that bordered on bald. He sported a faint trimmed beard with eyes that were hazel and twinkled when he smiled. His skin was light brown and he had cheeks that sported dimples which were deep and quite noticeable. His muscular body was toned by constant workouts at the gym and daily runs. He still walked as if he was in the Marines, where he had served two years right out of high school. Marcy’s heart swelled at the thought of what a priceless jewel he was to her, and that was why she decided she wanted him to father her child.

With her hands behind her head, she lay on her bed and looked at the ceiling. It would be a perfect solution to her dilemma. Kevin was smart, good looking, athletic, with a great personality. There was the matter of being gay, but that was not a genetic issue. Also, he did not like kids, so he would not care about interfering with her on how she raised her child. Marcy would not seek any monetary help from him, because she only wanted his sperm. She could afford to raise the baby on her own. He could be her baby’s godfather if he so desired, but that was as far as his daddy role would go.

Marcy was a little nervous about asking him for something as personal as his sperm. Kevin was usually a sucker for whatever she wanted out of him, but asking a man for his sperm might be asking too much even for her. In her way of thinking, it would be so easy to accomplish. All he would have to do was ejaculate into some jar and she would insert it into her body at the right time of the month. No big deal. She thought of the details while lying in her bed that hot summer night in August.

Kevin Daniels was in love with Marcella Evans. He had fallen in love with the young woman he had found beaten and raped. She had been so innocent and defenseless. He had often seen her on campus, and on the basketball court. She was an awesome player, and he had followed her as she played for the school freshman team. He had hounded her to return to the courts when her outward wounds had healed. She had not wanted him interfering in her life, but he had made it impossible for her to get rid of him. He had told her a bald face lie that he was gay in that hospital. All these years, he had been living that lie to his best friend and the woman that he loved. What was so ironic was that she had never suspected that he was not what he said he was. Nothing could be further from the truth because he loved women. So what if he liked to clean and do household chores. Marcy thought those were endearing feminine qualities of a gay man. She had never questioned it in all these years. Lately it had been eating him up inside.

After the rape, she had suffered severe post-traumatic stress. At first it had been hard for her to venture out among the other students, and he had watched painfully as she made one hurdle after another. By playing the role of gay, she had let him into her life; so he had not made the correction. In the past ten years, they had both been busy building their lives by continuing their education and settling in on their perspective careers. Many times, he had wanted to tell her the truth, but at the last minute, he would change his mind. He was a coward in respect that he did not want to chance her kicking him out of her life. She was determined to keep all men except him at bay on a personal level. Her faith in him grew only because she did not see him as a real man.

Over the years, he had been involved casually with young ladies, because he had physical needs, but his heart belonged to Marcy, then and now. He had gotten caught on a few occasions with women at his home, but he would tell her yet another lie about why the woman was there. Of course, the real reason they had been there was because they had satisfied his carnal flesh, but he could not very well tell her that. It was time to come clean with her because he was tired of the charade. Kevin wanted her to accept him as the man that he was. Surely, he had built his trust in her enough for her to see that not all men were animals.

He knew she was not a lesbian. Thank goodness her ordeal had not sent her in that direction; however, Marcy was perfectly content to live her life without a man. He knew of only a couple of dates she had gone on, and they had not been successful. He was happy about that because he had been jealous as hell about the dates. Thank goodness she had been totally turned off by both, saying that they had only wanted to get her in bed. Mostly she only went to church, work, and saw the occasional movie with him or one of her few friends. Now because they lived so close to each other, she would pop in at his place almost every day and spend a couple of hours with him, chatting and watching their favorite show Criminal Minds or American Idol. When he did not hear from her, he would call her or go over to her place. She was his fix for whatever ailed him at the time.

Kevin thought about how he had also lied and told her that he had not told his family about his being gay, so when she was around any of them, she would not think it was odd that they did not know. He would always take her with him on most family outings and his family adored her. He had even gone so far as to make a show of going to the nail salon on a regular basis to get his nails buffed and feet done so she would see feminine attributes in him. He had met more women at that salon than any man could imagine. The women thought it was sexy for a man to take care of his nails and feet. Kevin loved those pedicures and now he could not do without them. Marcy would sometimes tease him and ask why he never put any color on his toenails. He would laugh and say that he would just rather keep them clear.

He had always kept a clean house, and Marcy seemed to think that was a sissy thing to do too. He hated a dirty place and would fuss at her about the place being a chaotic mess. She had given him a piece of her mind one day and told him if he did not like it, he could just clean it up himself. So that was what he did. He would do the dishes or wash clothes if necessary. Those panties of hers were sexy as hell. For a woman who wanted to be sexless, she sure did wear alluring undies. He knew she only let him handle that kind of stuff because he was supposed to be gay and not turned on by such things, but imagining her in such sexy lingerie really made him hard.

She had only asked him a few times about his so-called lovers and why she never saw him with anyone. He would lie and say that he liked his privacy at his home, and no one could invade his space but her. Marcy would give him one of her saucy smiles and tell him she loved him. What she did not know was that the kind of love he had for her would make her run. He wanted her as his wife. He wanted her to have his babies and grow old together with grandchildren. Another lie she believed was that he did not like children. He loved kids, but he had heard that most gays did not like kids, so he had made a statement to that fact on one occasion while they had been lounging on his couch looking at a movie. He wanted to avoid any kind of chance of her finding out that he had been lying to her all these years.

Kevin had hoped that the years would soften her where men were concerned, and it scared him that maybe she would wake up and find out what she had been missing and start dating. However, besides himself, the only man who could get a kind word out of her was her pastor. Marcy thought that the sun rose and set on that dude. Sometimes he would get jealous of her talking about him because her pastor was young and single. He was not quite forty and was a widower. His wife had died from lupus two years ago, and he seemed to always need the assistance of Sis Marcella Evans.

Three years ago, Marcy had invited him to a morning service at her church, because he had not attended any church in a long time. He had been brought up in church, because his father was a Baptist minister and was pastor of a church in the North Park district of the city of Dallas. He had strayed away for a couple of years. Marcy’s church was not exceptionally large, and he enjoyed the service there a lot and decided to attend more often. He eventually joined and got actively involved in the ministry and was currently in training as deacon. He had even joined the mass choir and the male chorus. The pastor was a great man of God, but why was he always in Marcy’s face about something? He would have sworn on a stack of bibles that he did not have a jealous bone in his body until he saw Marcy talking to Pastor Julius Green.

Kevin arrived at home from work and decided to cook some spaghetti and invite Marcy over to help him eat it. Marcy loved his spaghetti. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. The phone only rang one time and she answered, Hello, Kev.

Hello, Marcy. Want to come over and play? he joked.

It all depends on what’s for dinner. I just know you have cooked something, she responded.

Is that all you want me for, my food? I think I had better reevaluate our relationship. I feel used, he sounded hurt.

Yeah, well I feel hungry, so what’s for dinner? she responded easily.

Spaghetti. It’ll be ready in thirty minutes, he said.

See you in thirty. Bye. Marcy got up and dressed in her usual tee shirt and faded jeans. When she had gotten home from work, she had undressed, but had not put on any clothes. She had just lain on the bed and thought about how she was going to ask Kevin to be a sperm donor. She would ask him about it tonight over dinner and wait for him to laugh in her face, or throw her out.

Marcy arrived in less than thirty minutes, nervous as a whore in church. Kevin let her in with his usual welcoming smile with dimples flashing. How adorable it would be if her child inherited those lovely dimples, she thought as she followed him into his living room. Of course, she had contemplated the sex of the child, and she much preferred to have a son. She did not like fixing her own hair, which was why she preferred to wear braids. A little girl would need tending too much more than a boy. A haircut would be much easier to arrange. Marcy thought of all these things as she sat on the couch and waited until Kevin fixed the table. He did not like people eating in his living room, so they always ate at the dining table.

What’s the matter with you? Had a rough day? You’re awfully quiet, he called out from the kitchen.

I had to go to court twice today, and I had a heavy case load. I have something to talk to you about. I will wait until after we eat though. I’m hungry, so hurry up, slow poke, she said anxiously.

He came around the corner with their plates and sat them at the table across from each other. Your wish is my command, madam.

Oh, what a good wife! Oh, I just love you sooo! she said teasingly while she sat down at the table and waited for him to be seated.

Kevin only winked at her and said, Lady, you only love me for my culinary skills. One of these days I am going to get paid for my services. He reached for her hands, and she hastily said grace which was their ritual before eating. They both dug into the meal of spaghetti and salad. He had also made tea, which was the best in the county as far as Marcy was concerned.

Now what is it you want to talk to me about? You know I am not going to wait until after we eat after hearing that. I want to know now. So spill it, or I will take my meal back, he said while looking at her warmly as he chewed on his food.

You will not. I will bite your hand. I am that hungry and you will just have to wait, because we need to be comfortable when I talk to you about this. Besides, you might lose your appetite.

Kevin’s curiosity was pricked. She was stalling. Marcy seemed a little edgy, so something was up. Was she going to tell him she had a date or something? He did not know how he was going to handle that if that was the case. He could handle anything but that.

We’re comfortable now, and there’s not too much that will turn my appetite and you know it. Here we are enjoying a good meal, so talk. You know I hate it for someone to say I will tell you later. All a person must do is just say what they got to say right then. You know patience is not one of my virtues, he said irritated.

All right already! I want to know if I can have your baby? she asked flatly.

Chapter

Two

Kevin started choking. The food had gotten lodged in his throat and he started coughing. He grabbed for the tea to dislodge the food stuck in his throat.

Marcy sat and watched with a sly grin on her face. Kevin’s face had been hilarious. He had wanted to know, so she had told him although not too subtle. She continued to eat while she waited for him to settle down and respond.

I know you did not just say what I thought you said. Lord, woman, you want to give me a heart attack. I think you’re the one that need therapy more than your clients, he said as he looked at her in disbelief.

No, I don’t need therapy. I need and want a baby, and I have decided that I want you to be the one to give it to me, she said, softly but firmly.

He could only stare at her. Had she read his mind or something? Did she know