Moxie's Decision: Princess Moxie, #2

By Hank Quense

A fantasy coming-of-age story that is decidedly different than the usual ones.

This adventure story is filled with memorable characters, satire and humor. What more can a reader wish for? The story takes place against a backdrop of Camelot, but this Camelot is in a parallel universe. So don't expect the usual stories and tales. Ain't gonna happen!

Moxie has a plan; she's determined to rule as queen after her father, King Smedley, dies. But Smedley refuses to acknowledge her as his heir. Her uncle also wants the throne and he's already tried once to eliminate Moxie as competition.

 

Entertaining from beginning to end, MOXIE'S DECISION is uproariously funny and satire at its best.  
A top pick! Indie Reader: 5 stars

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hank Quense
• Release date: Oct 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9780985006372

Hank Quense

Hank Quense writes humorous and satiric sci-fi and fantasy stories. He also writes and lectures about fiction writing and self-publishing.  He and his wife Pat usually vacation in another galaxy or parallel universe. They also time travel occasionally when Hank is searching for new story ideas. Other books by Hank Quense Fiction: Gundarland Stories Tales From Gundarland Falstaff’s Big Gamble Wotan’s Dilemma The King Who Disappeared Princess Moxie Series Moxie’s Problem Moxie’s Decision Queen Moxie Zaftan Troubles Series Contact Confusion Combat Convolution Sam Klatze Gongeblazn Non-fiction: The Author Blueprint Series of books is written to assist writers and authors in getting the job done. Creating Stories: Book 1 How to Self-publish and Market a Book: Book 2 Book Marketing Fundamentals: Book 3 Business Basics for Authors: Book 4 Fiction Writing Workshops for Kids: Book 5 Writing Stories: Book 7 Publication date to be announced Links? You want links? Here you go: Hank’s website: http://hankquense.org Hank's Facebook fiction page: https://www.facebook.com/StrangeWorldsOnline?ref=hl Twitter: https://twitter.com/hanque99 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hanque/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hankquense/ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3002079.Hank_Quense Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/hank-quense

Book preview

Moxie’s story continues!  Moxie is determined to rule as queen after her father, King Smedley, dies.  But Smedley refuses to acknowledge her as his heir.  Her uncle also wants the throne and he’s already tried to eliminate Moxie once before.

Moxie recognizes she hasn't been trained to rule and she needs to get lessons about the real world.  She decides to flee the castle to learn how to rule and to learn about life outside the castle.

Moxie faces unexpected obstacles as she struggles to cope with a brutal reality that tests her mettle and determination.

What reviewers say about Moxie’s Problem.

* The book had the most unique story ever written in history. If you hate the usual stereotypes, then this book is written for you: Anila Hoxra

* I have never ever laughed so hard while reading a book: Patricia

* Trust me, you are in the presence of quite a magical tale: Norm Goldman

* I honestly could not stop laugh through the whole thing: Paula Haskell

Moxie’s Decision

By Hank Quense

© 2015 Hank Quense

All Rights Reserved

This is a work of fiction.  Names, places, characters and incidents used in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to real people (living or dead) places, businesses, establishments, locals, and or events is entirely coincidental.

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal use only.  This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.  If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.  If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy.  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.ISBN: 978-0-9850063-7-2

Published in the United States of America.

Published by Strange Worlds Publishing

http://strangeworldsonline.com/wp

For my grandchildren: Anna, Tom, William, Jenni and Sean.

I hope they read this story someday.

Acknowledgements

An author may work in private while writing a book, but the author can't get the book published without the assistance of a cadre of helpers.

With this book, four other writers read an early version and offered feedback and invaluable suggestions.  Jan Clark was one of them.  Jan has helped out with all of my novels and I've read early versions of a number of her YA novels.  Three others are all members of the Write Group in Montclair, NJ.  They were Nancy Taiani, Helen Lippman and Karin Arbarbanel.  Without the help of these four, my book would be deeply flawed.  The final editing for the book was done by Jessica Maarek, who has put up with my comma-challenged drafts and fixed the comma problems and other stuff.

The cover was created by Gary Tenuta.  Gary has produced the covers on all my books.  You can contact Gary at [e-mail]

A few words from the author:

My Camelot is different from the legendary Camelot.  This difference is easy to explain; my story describes what happened in Camelot in a different parallel universe.

Onto the story!  Remember, you have been warned!  Do not expect another retelling of the traditional Camelot legends.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

About the Author

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Part One: May-June 451

Prologue

Back to the Table of Contents

FROM THE CHRONICLES of Bildas the Surly:

Circa 674 C.E.

And in the year 451, King Artie ruled in Camelot for the sixteenth year and King Artie defended southern Britain from the ravages of the Saxons.  Artie had begun as the Count of the Southern Shore with a hilltop fort and developed the fort into the shining palace of Camelot.  Before long, he became the most powerful King in Britain and founded the All-British Football League.

The Saxon warlord, Hengist, ruled a territory on the east coast.  Annually, Hengist tried to defeat Artie's Knights of the Round Table, but always failed.  This lack of success gnawed at the barbarian's evil soul and he resorted to trickery and shamanic magic but to no avail.  God protected King Artie from the pagan assaults

Hengist had promised land to anyone who braved the Narrow Sea and came to his kingdom.  During the warm months, dozens of boats made the voyage and Hengist gave them enough land to feed their families.  In return, the men promised to assemble when mustered.  Thus, Hengist's power grew apace and everyone feared that, sooner or later, Hengist would resort to the shield wall rather than the football pitch.

Although peace reigned in the country, so did an undercurrent of fear.  Omens presaging disaster were seen throughout the land.  In this year, a rooster was said to lay an egg.  A wolf pack raised two lambs and taught the lambs how to hunt small game.  A merchant ship docked at a wharf in Dover, even though the ship didn't have a crew.  Many learned wizards, monks and mountebanks preached that the End Days approached.

Chapter 1

Back to the Table of Contents

KING ARTIE AND SIR Lancelot smiled and waved to the crowd of Northampton locals lining the dirt street despite the rain.

Four Knights of the Round Table rode behind the pair, followed by mounted archers and spearmen.  Pages and workers brought up the rear.

At the market square in the center of the small town north of Londinium, Artie and Lancelot dismounted.  The bailiff and other town officials came forward and knelt in front of the king.  After they swore fealty, Artie raised them up and all walked to a long trestle table at one end of the square.  The officials waited until Artie was seated before they took their own seats.

The thirty-one-year-old Artie had brown hair, beard and eyes.  He wore tan trews and a blue tunic covered with a gold cape fastened at his neck with a large silver brooch in the shape of a dragon.  His war belt held a sword and a dagger.

The crowd moved from the road to the square to watch the formal signing of the documents.  A page walked over to the table and gave the king two scrolls.

Artie handed one scroll to the bailiff and unrolled the second.  He stood and read the scroll in a loud voice.  I, Artie, King of Camelot and Alderman of the Greater British Football League, do hereby grant the town of Northampton membership in the Central League.  The team's colors will be green and black and the team can start playing games as soon as they can be scheduled with the other Central League teams.

The crowd cheered.

Artie signed the first scroll while the bailiff signed the second.  The scrolls were switched and signed again.

Another page came forward hauling a bag that he placed on the table.  Artie reached into the bag and took out a football.  He held aloft the leather ball stuffed with rags.  A gift, Artie said, from the Knights of the Round Table Football Squad to the Northampton team.  The bag holds seven new footballs.  Footballs were hand-made and expensive.

Again the crowd roared.

Artie sat down and watched the team's members, wearing green and black tunics, run into the square from behind the town's main building.  The fifteen players lined up in front of the table and bowed to the king.  A fine group of young men, Artie said.  I'm sure they will be able to hold their own against a Saxon raid. 

Meanwhile, a group of workmen had constructed a goal on the main road beyond the square.  Pages moved the locals back to clear a path between the goal and the table. 

Lancelot stood and strode to the front of the table holding one of the new footballs.  The knight towered over everyone in the square.  Lancelot's blue eyes, blondish hair and beard combined with his rugged good looks gave him a friendly appearance, but his huge size made people wary of him.  His blue and gold uniform of the Knights of the Round Table football squad had a large C on both shoulders indicating Lancelot was the team's captain.

Lancelot dropped the football on the ground and toed it a few times to get it into the proper position on a patch of level dirt.  Theatrically, he squinted at the goal and the ball from several angles, wetted a finger and held it up to check the wind then did a few squats to loosen up.  Finally, he went behind the ball.  Lancelot took a deep breath and stepped into a kick.  The ball soared across the square, flew down the main road and tore a hole in the goal's back netting.  The crowd cheered Lancelot's football prowess.

King Artie beamed.  He was another step closer to achieving his plan of having Britain covered with football leagues owing allegiance to Camelot.

PERCIVALE’S SMALL WINDOWLESS and doorless room was in Camelot’s keep, a building reserved for the exclusive use of the Knights of the Round Table, also known as KRT Inc.

Percivale dreamt he and Fiona strolled hand-in-hand along a shaded riverbank.

Someone shattered the dream by shaking his shoulder.  Percivale rolled over and saw Bors, his friend and fellow apprentice Knight of the Round Table, standing over him.

From the way you're squeezin' your pillow, Bors said, I'm guessin' you were dreamin' about Fiona.

Percivale nodded.  A few weeks ago, he had been sent by King Mark in Cornwall to fetch Isolde, Mark's new queen, from Ireland.  On the way back, Percivale had fallen in love with Fiona, Isolde's chaperone.  Much to Percivale's surprise, Fiona fell in love with him.  Unfortunately, Fiona refused to leave Cornwall until Isolde settled into her home.  Once that happened, Fiona promised to contact Percivale.  He had dreamed about Fiona every night since he left Cornwall.

Ector wants to see us right now, Bors said.

What for? Percivale said as he rolled off his pallet.

Don't know, but he said to see him immediately.

On the way to see Ector, Percivale grabbed a hunk of bread and a mug of weak ale to break his fast.  Gareth met them on the way and the three entered the room together.

The knights always met in the room on the first floor with the Round Table.  Despite the name, the table was oval rather than round, the work of an unlettered carpenter who couldn't read the work order.  The huge table dominated the room which also had smaller tables scattered around the rear. 

Ector sat at the table in the seat assigned to him.  At middle-age, he was the oldest knight of the Round Table.  Stooped-shouldered with a wrinkled face, Ector wore a faded gray surcoat with ragged edges.

Where's Lancelot? Percivale asked.

He went north with the king.  Artie is startin' a new league up there.

We wanted to tell Lance that we're gonna go onna dragon hunt, Gareth said.

No, you ain't.  Ector picked up a parchment scroll.  Before he left, Lance got this message from King Smedley requestin' the three of you go to his castle.  Smedley ruled Usca, a small country near the Welsh border.

We ain't goin' back there, Bors said.  Smedley swore he'd kill us on sight.

Lance asked if one or more of you are screwin' Smedley's daughter, Moxie.  Ector raised an eyebrow and looked at the three young knights.

Ector, Gareth added, if you ever saw Moxie, you'd never ask us that.

I think Smedley has cooked up a trap, Percivale said.  We should go mug the dragon and ignore Smedley.

We gotta better chance of survivin' with the dragon than we do with Smedley, Bors said.

You're not goin' dragon huntin’, Ector said, ignoring the protests of the three apprentices.  At least not 'til you go to Smedley's.  Lance said this is the last time he's sending you guys there.  Ector looked at the parchment.  Oh, here is a safe conduct pass from Smedley.  See, it's perfectly safe.

No, it ain't, Percivale said.  We hold up that pass and some archer who can't read will use the parchment as a target.

You are to leave straightaway, Lance said.  Ector handed the scroll to Percivale.

Percivale read the parchment.  It says we gotta blow a horn three times when we get to the bridge.  Then we wait for a signal.  Why do we gotta do that, do you think?

What's the signal? Bors asked.

Percivale studied the paper.  It doesn't say what the signal is.

That doesn't make sense unless the horn is to alert the archers to start shootin', Gareth said.  At us.

We don't have a horn, Percivale said.

Ector pointed to a corner in the rear of the room.  There's gotta be a horn in that pile of spare stuff.  Help yourself and get movin'.

IN USCA NEAR THE WELSH border, Moxie sat on a chair in her bedroom where she had lived since she was three.  Immediately after her mother's death, her father — King Smedley — had ordered Moxie moved from his quarters to this small room at the top of the castle.  It held a bed, a chest of drawers, a couch and a few chairs.  A fireplace and a single small window completed the inventory.  She wouldn't miss this room when she left the castle.  Water froze in the room during winter and became too hot to drink in the summer.

Moxie pondered the situation her father faced in his tiny kingdom.  Moxie had tried to convince her father to let her attend council meetings so she could learn statecraft, but Smedley had refused.  Since her bedroom was directly over the council chambers, Moxie had drilled a hole in her bedroom floor so she could listen in on the meetings.

To Moxie’s astonishment and dismay, she had learned that the kingdom bordered on bankruptcy.  Taxes were high and couldn't be raised further.  Soldiers deserted because they weren't paid.  Treaty payments were withheld with possible scary consequences.  The situation had alarmed her and Moxie had devised a solution.  All Smedley needed to do was tax the nobles and the treasury would get an infusion of cash. 

Her father refused to consider it.

In Moxie's view, she faced a long, difficult path to become the queen after her father’s death.  But what was the sense of becoming the queen if the country was so unstable? 

Two maids sat on chairs knitting scarves and gossiping.  Moxie picked up her own set of needles as an idea took hold in her mind.  She played with the thought, testing it to see if it had any flaws.  While she considered her idea, she watched the maids for a few minutes then said, I want to talk to you and ask some questions.

Both maids, in their teens, looked warily at her.  Not known for her social skills, Moxie was as warm as a block of ice in winter.

I know taxes are high and that must make life tough on the farms.  Moxie pointed to the maid on the left.  Your family lives on a farm, don't they?  How do the taxes affect them?

The maid looked baffled by the question.  Moxie had to coax answers out of her.

Taxes are paid at harvest time, the maid said.  The tax men take half of everythin' we grow.  That means we don't have enough food to eat by the end of winter.

If you don't have enough food, what do you eat? Moxie asked.

We don't eat.  We starve.  Tears welled up in the maid's eyes.  By plantin' time, my father and brothers are too weak to plant all the land we have.  So, the next harvest is always smaller than the last one.

Moxie started in horror.  She had never connected policy decisions with starvation: tax collections with illness and death with the farmers.

So, if the taxes were lower, Moxie asked, your family would have more food to eat and they'd be stronger in the spring and could plant enough crops so the next harvest wouldn’t be smaller.  Is that correct? 

All I know is my family and all the other farmers need more food to eat.  We're slowly starvin' to death.  That's why my father sent me here to the castle.  So he wouldn't have to feed me.  She blew her nose in a handkerchief.

Moxie nodded to the other maid.  What about you?  Your family lives in town, right?

Yes, Princess, the maid replied.  My father is a blacksmith.

Is it different in towns?

The maid shook her head.  We usually buy food in the farmers' markets.  If the farmers don't have food to sell, we have to buy it from the nobleman who rules the town.  And he charges much more than the farmers do.

Wait.  Moxie held up a hand.  Where does the nobleman get food from?

From the harvest.  Our nobleman keeps much of it and sends the rest of it here to the palace.

Moxie registered the new facts.  She hadn't known the taxes were split between the nobles and the king.  Her anger was building.  The tax situation bordered on insanity.  No wonder the kingdom was in such poor straits.  Go on.

During the really cold months, there is food to buy from the nobleman, but the price is so high, my family doesn't have enough money to buy any.  So we starve just like the farmers do.  My father is often so weak by spring that he can't do much work, so we have even less money to buy food.

I save some of the food I get at meals here and bring it to my family when I can, the first maid said.

So do I.  The second maid gave the other one a sad, brief smile.

Moxie, aghast, stared at the two maids.  She waved a hand at them.  Go.  Come back later.  I have to think about what you told me.

After the maids left, Moxie paced the floor.  She had figured out the king needed to lower taxes, but she hadn't had an inkling of the repercussions taxes had on peoples' lives.  Moxie didn’t know people starved because of high taxes.  In the short term, lowering taxes would deplete the treasury further.  However, in the long term, lower taxes would lead to larger harvests and higher tax yields. 

Moxie knew her father would never agree to lower taxes and she would never be able to explain the short and long term consequences to him.  So, the burden fell on her shoulders.  Before she could help the people, she had to leave the castle and learn how to become self-sufficient.  And she couldn't do that until her friends got here and took her to the Heroes Guild.  She needed them to convince the Guild to accept a woman.

Where were Percivale and his friends?

Moxie decided she needed exercise.  She'd take a walk around the castle walls.  It was always fun to sneak up on the sleeping sentries and scare them.

PERCIVALE AND HIS TWO friends followed a Roman road leading to King Smedley’s castle.  It ran through a forest and the new growth of leaves shaded much of the road.

Percivale, Bors and Gareth discussed the situation once again.  They were sure Smedley planned a trap, but as apprentice Knights of the Round Table they were pledged to follow Lancelot's commands for five years.  Refusing to follow the order would dishonor all of them.

It has to be a trap, Gareth said for the tenth time.  Why else would he send another message to Lance?  Gareth was six-foot-two, much taller than the average Brit, had dirty blond hair cut short and blue eyes.  On his right bicep a tattoo read 'Kiss the Cook’ and the letters HG symbolizing a graduate of the Heroes Guild.  Women considered Gareth one of the most handsome knights.

Gareth looked around.  Hey, Perc.  Stop dreamin' about Fiona and pay attention.  We could run into brigands, you know.

Percivale smiled sheepishly.  Sorry.  He was shorter than his two friends, but had a solid physique, dark brown hair and eyes, and rugged features. 

Hey, maybe Moxie has agreed to marry one of us, Percivale said.  The last time they had been in Smedley's castle, the irate king, desperate for a grandson to inherit the throne, ordered Moxie to pick one of the three as her husband or all of them would die.  Moxie refused, claiming she would never marry, and Smedley ordered his guards to kill the knights.  Percival and his mates, all unarmed, snatched weapons from the guards and successfully defended themselves.

Marry Moxie?  Bors gave a fake shudder and ran a hand through his light brown hair.  A fate worse than dying in a trap.  He tried once more to produce a sound with the horn he carried, but failed.  Taller than Percivale and shorter than Gareth, Bors had an abacus tattooed on his right arm with the letters HG.

Give it here.  Gareth held out a hand, took the horn and blew into the mouthpiece.  Nothing but spit came out of the other end.

Percivale took the horn.  I saw a guy play one of these at a fair when I was kid.  He told me how he did it.  Percivale placed the horn to his

Reviews for Moxie's Decision

[rinkas-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book, full of humor and also suspense. This is a book I can see as a movie in the same genre as " Knights Tale". Refreshing book to enjoy for young and old with no x rated scenes.

[croknot1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A delightfully silly book! I love Moxie, and all her trials and tribulations. I much prefer this Camelot to the nal one!origi

[denisewoodruffpa · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read it to my grandson. He loves it. I had to give him the book it's not really my type I read but I love reading to my grandson and this is the best one I have read yet