A Matter of Time

By J.M. Dabney

One brutal night changed a teenager's life and derailed all the dreams she had for herself. Eighteen years later, her life took another unexpected turn. Did she have the strength to start over again?

A man who for years denied himself the one person he'd wanted finally had the freedom to make her his. Could he fight against the demons to get past her walls or had he lost before he began?

• Language: English
• Publisher: J.M. Dabney
• Release date: Jul 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781947184237

Book preview

Preface

Although this is a trilogy, it is not one in the traditional sense. Each book starts with the three moments which shaped the main character or characters. Moments that seem insignificant but have a lasting impact or change. Each story will be a standalone title with no crossover characters.

Thank you as always for taking a chance on my voices and their stories.

Part I

Prologue in 3 Parts

Part I

Winter 2000

The windows of the trailer rattled from the battering of ice and wind. Faucets were turned on to keep the pipes from freezing. Philomena Kilmer curled up in front of the kerosene heater trying to keep herself and her infant son warm. At sixteen, she figured she'd be working through her final year of high school, and the scholarship that was waiting for her would've taken her out of Brand, Wyoming. She'd worked her ass off for that full ride and had cried for days when she’d had to give it up.

She looked at the time, and it was already 3 a.m. She was supposed to be at work in three hours. Her job as a waitress saved her. The minute she'd told her parents she was pregnant they'd ordered her to pack what she could carry. Her aunt had let her crash with her and even helped her rent the trailer next to hers. But first she'd had to get emancipated, and the filing cut into her savings.

She lowered her gaze to her son's face. Stroked his chunky cheeks. He'd come in at ten pounds after thirty-six hours of labor. They tried to get her to have a C-section, but she wouldn't be able to take off the time to heal from it.

His father was the popular high school quarterback. A boy who didn't know what no meant. She hadn't reported the rape, and even if she had, she was no one. Just the weird nerdy girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Two months later, she'd pissed on a stick on her break at work. The only thing she was thankful for was that her son looked nothing like the bastard who fathered him.

Miles was perfect.

She had to miss two weeks of work which meant she didn't have another paycheck and her assistance hadn't come in yet. The windows needed to be fixed, but she'd spent everything to pay her rent and bills, then to get everything Miles needed. Two meals were provided during her shift at work which was a saving grace. She only had to worry about her two days off.

It wouldn't always be like that. Miles wouldn't ever go without. In the hospital she'd promised him that she'd be the perfect mom. She'd love him no matter what.

She cuddled him closer and pulled the pile of blankets tighter around them. She shivered, but she'd make sure he stayed warm.

Part II

Fall 2006

Miles, leave the nice gentleman alone, Philly fussed at her five-year-old son as he interrogated yet another customer that was a ranch hand from a spread on the south side of Brand. Her boss said that Miles was the cutest mascot and didn't mind him hanging around after school until her shift ended on the days her aunt couldn't watch him. She was lucky that everyone loved Miles because her son could be precocious.

But, Mama, he drew all over himself, Miles was appalled at the full sleeves. You tell me I can't do it.

He's an adult. When you're an adult, you can draw all over yourself.

How old will I be when I'm an adult?

He used his tiny chunky form to push the man across the bench seat so he could inspect the artwork. She gave the man a questioning look, and he just shook his head, then winked.

Sixty.

The handsome man with the full sleeves snorted into his coffee. The man was a regular for lunch, but he was a bit late today and became the victim of her son's curiosity. She shook her head and continued to wrap silverware. Wednesday afternoons were notoriously slow, and as a waitress, she really worked for her tips, but her boss, Gladys paid her a little extra if she did some side work for the night crew.

You made a mess.

Her son was a neat freak which she loved because he didn't leave her a mess to clean up after he went to bed. He had a place for everything, and he made sure all his toys and books were put away where he wanted them. As Miles jumped down and ran, she watched as he went to the buss cart. He grabbed a rag and wrung it out before he returned to the table.

The man was attempting to clean up the tiny mess, and Miles pushed his hands away to clean it up himself.

You're just spreading it around.

She finished with the last roll and stashed the silverware tray back under the counter. The one on the buss cart was already full. She checked the time and darted into the kitchen to clock out. She grabbed her jacket and Miles' backpack. When she exited the kitchen, she found the man sitting there with his flannel shirt gone and the short sleeve of his t-shirt pushed up, pointing at the colorful ink.

Miles, it's time to go.

She approached the table slowly. Six years later, men still made her uncomfortable especially when they were big and muscular. The guy seemed nice but didn't most men until they didn't get what they wanted. A few of the ranch hands who came in had thought she'd jump at dating them. It was a small town, and they all knew her story. She was a whore because of her out of wedlock kid and her tiny trailer.

Miles didn't fight her. Instead, he gave the man a loud goodbye and ran over. He turned his back to her so she could put on his jacket and then slip on his backpack.

The man looked at her as if he wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth and went back to drinking his coffee.

She took Miles' hand and led him to the door, calling a goodbye over her shoulder. The walk home would take fifteen minutes. She asked her son about his day, and he did the same. Yes, she'd admit that she'd been way too young to have him, but her son was the only good thing she had in her life.

Part III

Summer 2013

She laughed as Miles threw another piece of popcorn at her. They were curled up on the couch on one of her rare nights off. She'd picked up extra shifts to put away more into the college fund she'd started for Miles. Things weren't as hard anymore. He was thirteen now, so he could watch after himself on the nights she had to work, but more often than not, he still hung around the diner while she worked. Especially in the evening so she didn't have to walk home on her own.

Ma, can we talk about something?

She was worried about the serious tone of her son's voice. He was always laughing and smiling—nothing got her boy down.

You know you can talk to me about anything. What's the rule we've always had?

Nothing is off limits.

Exactly. So, ask me whatever.

Where's my dad?

Nausea filled her stomach, and her cheeks felt flushed as the question she'd always dreaded came from her son's mouth. She'd expected it long before. When he went to spend nights with his friends, and there was a Mom and Dad. Or when she took him out on special mom/son dates and couples would be there with their kids. They'd already had the sex talk because she knew kids were having sex earlier and as much as she didn't want to think of her kid having sex, she'd be stupid to think it wouldn't happen before he graduated.

Can I ask why you want to know? She curled her hand around his forehead and pushed his shaggy black hair from his face, brushing a kiss to his forehead. She knew she was lucky that he still let her hug and kiss him, and that he wasn't embarrassed by affection. He knew it was okay to cry or be upset.

I've always kinda wanted to know, but you don't date or anything. I wondered if my dad hurt you.

He did, and that's why it's just you and me. He no longer lives in this town, and I don't see him coming back.

The bastard had left for college and hadn't returned, not even for breaks or he just avoided her. Which she was thankful for; she never wanted to see him again.

I don't want to meet him or anything. I was just curious.

Baby, I don't want to tell you what to do, but to be honest with you, I never want you to meet him. You were just mine. Always have been, always will be. You're happy with it being just the two of us, right?

Always, Ma. Someone else coming in, I might actually have rules.

She laughed. That would be terrible.

I know right, coming in here giving me a bedtime. Telling me about food groups.

They both shuddered. Okay, Philly was a bit lax in the rules department, but she had an amazing kid. He got straight A's and took care of everything around the house when she wasn't there. Who else's son would willingly clean the house every Saturday morning when she worked. He did the shopping and made dinner. She even got breakfast in bed every Sunday morning.

I love you.

I love you too, Ma. Want more popcorn?

Yes, thanks.

She gave him one more kiss and let him go, then she watched him from their ratty thrift store couch. She hadn't realized her son had noticed something as small as she never dated. One night ruined everything for her. She was only twenty-nine, and the town was small. There was no one she was interested in, and she wasn't really a woman that men wanted to date. She was still that fat, nerdy girl she was in high school. Hips, ass, and thighs for days and no tits whatsoever. She shook her head at her own thoughts. She had one thing that was important in life, and that was making sure her son was successful, and he made it out of this town.

Part II

Miles had Lost His Mind

Spring 2018

Are you insane? Philly screeched as she looked at the dress that was laid out on her bed, then back at her smiling son.

No, I'm not. You missed out on the whole prom thing because of me and—

She hated when he pulled that shit with her. She didn't miss out on anything because she'd been a teenaged mom. It wasn't like her life had been bad. Hard at times, but she'd always had Miles, and that meant the world to her.

I didn't miss out. I doubt I would've gone in the first place. I wasn't all that popular.

He rushed forward and grabbed her arms, then pushed her down on the bed. He knelt on the floor and folded his arms to rest on her thighs. Fuck, he gave her that look he always did when she told him no. Fluttering those lashes and pouted that bottom lip, one tear and she couldn't