Помощь: Help !

By Van Dimi

This IS NOT a Mike Hammer adventure neither am I Mickey Spillane. (I wish I had his money but I look more handsome anyway) It’s an Isidore Ducasse adventure hard-boiled with plenty of action like Mike Hammer. AND ...it’s pure plagiarism, legal nevertheless.

Can I write a novel every month? Well ... it’s not impossible if you spend most of your time in front pf a PC screen but in my age, it’s tiring. This new one in English is neither a translation nor plagiarism since it’s after one of MY books published in Greek under my real name Βαγγέλης Δημητρόγλου (VAN-gelis DIMI-troglou) under the title DISAPPEARANCE and has sold more than 300 copies which is a bestsellers figure for me who “sells” 15-30 copies average. And this book in Greek received positive comments too!!!!!! So, I have revisited it. Not as to translate it only in English but I have enhanced it with more characters and more action transferring the action to the Isidore Ducasse environment in SW France, in the Greek version the actin is in the island of Crete, Greece and the sleuth’s name is Vardas.
It’s not a literature chef d’œuvre, it’s a pulp fiction novel like the Spillane’s ones, macho stuff and violence between the tough smart guy and the imbecile goons with the inevitable femmes fatales playing their part.
50% of today’s crime novels concern missing girls and the other 50 concern cold cases. In this one you have them both for the price of one. Why would I change the standards? If they were not popular, they shouldn’t have been such hits.
I have added a personal touch in the end though. The book comes with two (2) endings!!!! A Noir one and a Hollywood happy ending one for the sensitive souls.

Still waiting for that “transfer on the silver screen” offer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Van Dimi
• Release date: May 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005649777

Van Dimi

ABOUT ME. Retired from the grind. Reflecting on successes, failures, and regrets. Exploring new aspects of self, writing that book which will get me an Oscar, staying out of trouble - well, small amounts of trouble are OK. Alone in blessed singleness. Wicked sense of humor, enjoy my own company, glad I'm not young any longer. I do miss the intimacy of being in love. A good catch . . . at least. I love Intelligent conversation: hard to come by these days, though no one agrees with me, a good listener, intuitive, a good conversationalist, avoid boredom and boring people at all costs - that's a career all by itself.I am not a writer. I am a cooking chef. An educated cooking chef though. I’ve done my studies, got a University degree but instead of entering into the “system”, I’ve chosen to do what pleases me and not join the sheep -flock searching for a shepherd. A Greek old man living in France the last 20years,Vangelis Dimitroglou is my real name. Cinéphile and melomane confirmé, not un faux-cul. Here in France, they call the connoisseurs “pretentious” and the intelligent “arrogant”. I don’t care anymore.As a movie-music-literature lover I have a sweet spot for Jazz and the so-called Noir, films and books, not only the top class rated but al-so the B-movies and the pulp-fiction best sellers. Now, there are some great authors in that category like Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chan-dler, Jim Thompson (the greatest), just to name a few from the past and some excellent new ones like Philip Kerr, Jo Nesbo, Michael Dibdin, again just to name a few. “writers” who at the age of 35 have al-ready produced 50 novels and are still writing a book once or twice a year aiming to sell books, commercialize the product, make money. They are largely different to those great ones that are/were AUTHORS, producing literature. I don’t care entering into either category, I honestly could use some huge money. No intention whatsoever to be-come immortal. An author writes a book expecting to be read, he writes for his readers with or without the intention to make money or glory. He-she has a target. I write books for myself! Fill up empty time. I don't expect anything from them and that's why they are FREE -and always be - The ones in Greek are the same under my real name(in GR) Βαγγέλης Δημητρογλου.I have not only watched but studied almost all the films-Noir and Neo-Noir if it matters, plus all the great movies the 7th art has produced, in decline nowadays thank you very much Netflix. As for music, my other passion, after classical music and Jazz all the rest is chill-out ambience sounds. And yes, I love aphorisms.World History has been my secondary passion. I believe we will never learn everything about our past and definitely never the truth. This “truth” has been suffering through centuries, it is not a modern invention. The fast-growing technology has created the terms “fake news” or “alternative truth” as if the truth is and always will be one and only. “The truth is rarely pure and never simple” said the great Os-car. Don’t ask Oscar, who? There was only one.History and crime, two things that go together like Siamese twins, let it be then. And a hard-boiled sleuth, not much different than the old, and new, famous ones. I’m a huge fan of Bernie Gunther, I confess.The East Roman-Byzantine empire has a history of 1000+ years, drowned in blood, intrigue, debauchery, violence and misery all at once, that led to its destruction, better known as Dark ages. Not at all a dull place for a sleuth!! They say that historic fiction is a difficult gen-re. Well, almost nothing in life comes easy. Otherwise, we would have nothing to be proud of every time we accomplice successfully a tough task, achieve an exploit, win a challenge.This is my first attempt to write a novel, to write anything. I definitely don’t want to insult your intelligence. I simply intend to challenge your ignorance and provoke your curiosity. The field is vast and intriguing and there might be more Theo Vardas adventures to come. I am getting older and older though every day, like you all, but I’m already 66y.o.OCTOBER 2020 EDIT: I think my Byzantine period is over, all old books removed to be re edited and republished...eventually, hopefully before I die. Not that I care about neither, republish or death. Yet, last time i talked with that hooded type with the scythe, he reassured me i still have time for more wicked Noir stories so, here i come with a new sleuth, Isidore Ducasse, transferring the action where i live in SW France. first book already out the next one's cooking in the oven. Considering I have some old Byzantine books to edit, re-write, enrich and republish ...i might live another 50 years and see grandchildren arriving. My twins, to whom I dedicate all books, are 22 now.

Book preview

Copy, imitate, influenced by …I shamelessly use all!!!!!! No one can ever be sure how original his texts, or the 3-4 chords and the truth songwriter’s songs, haven’t be done before. I hereby declare that whenever is possible, I state the source from which something I wrote originally came from, in the eBook editions I even give a link but inevitably, after all of those I have read, watched, and listened to, modestly a lot, hardly enough and absolutely never all of them, something remains, a scene or a phrase that I am unable to connect it with something I’ve read or watched. So, if this is considered copy, imitation, or plagiarism … I plea guilty as charged, your honor.

Allow me a politico-social note here, please. What we call ‘copyright’ or ‘droits auteur’ in French, or my mother tongue ‘property of mental rights’ which, to my humble opinion sounds more correct including the key-word ‘property’. Because this is what it actually is! A commercialized property! Auteurs, compositors, songwriters, and all want to protect their money-making source! And as I remember from my youth revolutionary years, Property is theft as Pierre-Joseph Proudhon has said. To protect the mind’s rights is an oxymoron by itself. The wrong verb for the wrong noun. An artist, any artist of any art, when he produces his art, he normally doesn’t consider it as ‘merchandise’ so why it is bought and sold and has to be protected - at least for 70 years before it becomes a public domain product with the unique exception of the Peter Pan rights protected (and collected) in eternity by law since it's the basic source of income for the Ormond Street Children’s Hospital which is a noble donation regardless J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan’s author, might – or might not – had been a pedophile. And a final example to close the issue, lately, with the electronic invasion of music platforms, songwriters prefer to sell maybe handsomely, their rights immediately to some ‘wise guys’ to exploit for 70 years than having to do it themselves every month since, with the existing shark-system, they collect pennies. The author’s right is a royally monumental piece of the hypocrisy of the money-making multinationals and has absolutely nothing to do with the author’s recompensating. Artists collect the crumbs which fell off the table.

The plausible question would be why all these to start with. Because, dear reader, this book is absolute plagiarism of a previous one than none else by myself!!!!! No, it’s not just a translation, it’s plagiarism. Some years ago, I have published in Greek a book titled Disappearance with the plot happening in Hania, Crete. That book’s hero was Alypios Vardas. There have been some in Greek with him. I have taken this book to step upon, under another title transferring the action in Southwest France and changing the sleuth’s name to my latest child, Isidore Ducasse, enriching it and adding extra characters and action. Because that’s what it is, that’s what all the good Greek critics came for. ACTION. Mickey Spillane became famous and probably rich with such hard-boiled Mike Hammer novels, why, oh why can’t I? So, I copy myself. It’s not just a translation from Greek into English, I repeat. The trunk of the story is the same but the tree comes with many more branches and flowers. Still, it’s a pulp-fiction novel aiming to amuse and waste-time entertainment plus or less some education.

Still waiting for your ruthless comments and critic

Van Dimi

1 The look of love

It’s tiring! It’s boring and somehow disgusting listening to you drooling each time you see an attractive woman, Isidore. Maybe we should build a soundproof wall to separate the lieu instead of those bookshelves Norma’s sour comment after Miss Papadakis went out.

"What kind of strange bug is going up your asshole, babe? She’s a client! You jealous or what?

Do I have to answer that to boost your masculine ego? I’ve checked upon your … client the time you were talking. Now I will have to come and clean the syrup that dropped on your desk.

Forget the syrup. What you’ve got on her?

Greek shipowner’s tycoon daughter, a Ph.D. in Psychology herself, published twice. Where there’s lots of money and brains means trouble.

That’s what we do for a living, darling. We deal with other people’s troubles.

That’s why you started talking Greek? What’s her case? Or your secretary is not allowed secret and confidential information?

She’s not. And to calm you down right from the beginning, she’s a lesbian. At least that’s what she confessed to making me stop … drooling as you said, and by the way, she was looking at you I believed her. As for her case, it’s not within our boundaries. She needs a bodyguard more than a P.I. Apart from that, she sounded like a very interesting person.

Thinking of taking a psychoanalysis, Isidore?

Nah, I’m OK with my soul, don’t even know if I have one.

What was that Greek secrecy then? You both know that it’s rather unlikely anyone could understand you around here.

Well, her name sounded very Greek, I started something showing off my education claiming I once had a Greek girlfriend who had made me stay six months in Athens, she found it amusing and rather conspiratory trying to make me help her as a go-between with you if you wanna know. Because all that Greek conspiracy was about fixing her with you!!!

And you were not any jealous at all?

Why should I? Who can tell what’s in a woman’s mind?

I’m not a lesbian, Isidore if I have to declare it. Your psycho-wacko has no chance with me. What was her case?

Told you. Protection, like a bodyguard, you know… the Kevin Costner type. From her mega-wealthy father who had probably abused her when she was a teenager. She didn’t say clearly but … hell! I am a detective, I detect things. I am still thinking about her second demand though.

Which is?

Teach her how to shoot and find her a gun.

I see. Training potential killers won’t increase our turnover you know. Firearms trading on the other hand … isn't that illegal?

Or maybe I would like to see her again, who knows? I’ve turned a lesbian to normal once.

You’re a pathetic toxic male, Isidore Ducasse. Take it from me.

I can’t figure out whether is feminism or jealousy that makes you talk like this.

That moment, the telephone rang and there was a female voice speaking Greek.

Did it work?

I think it did. She’s furious.

Isidore, the girl’s mad about you, an expert in human relations signs it with both hands. And sorry as I might have been not to make it with her myself, I would suggest you start reconsidering your attitude with her. She’s more than beautiful, looks smart, and releases you from parental responsibilities, she already has a baby. What more do you want?

Your money, I guess. To complete the beautiful smart and rich citation.

You need three for that, moron. The great Oscar has said it long before you. Two is already exceptional.

Am I under analysis doc?

You always will be now I’ve met you. Will you teach me how to use a gun?

Haven’t decided yet.

Don’t call me when you decide. Bring a couple of pizzas and come to see me at home. I’ll put the wine.

Adele was a lesbian, all right, she said so but that was an open invitation for hostilities according to my book. And Adele was a stunning female. Medium height and weight brunette and very sexy and elegant into her two-piece suit on high heels. The question was; did I want to try to make it with her or did I want to teach her how to shoot?

What was all this Greek mumble, boss?

Dinner at her place.

The cunt!!!!! A lesbian my ass.

She said you wouldn’t like it. She thinks you’re crazy about me.

Don’t give a shit what SHE thinks. I care about what YOU think.

You know me, baby. I’m a sucker with girls. I never believe a word of what they say. I think I may accept to teach her how to shoot and overcharge her.

Right. Don’t forget a box of condoms along with your teaching. Moron.

Now, that’s no way to treat your boss, Norma.

She didn’t say another word. She grabbed her handbag and left. Maybe to go find Gogo in the nursery. Maybe not.

2 Sentimental journey.

Yevgeny was the ‘Pirate’ owner and administrator whom I have met once or twice when I was going out with Marilu. It was her who had told me he also trades firearms. His name sounded Russian and if a Russian couldn’t be an arm’s dealer and a strip club owner then who could be? I didn’t have many chances to find him there in the early afternoon but sometimes I get lucky. The guy at the door asked me to wait and left me alone in the empty club having to listen to a bleached blonde rehearsing some songs with a desperate piano player who showed his dislike. My man came back to lead me to Yevgeny’s office, a huge space all covered in shining wood and leather. out of a perverted decorator’s design, Yevgeny was an overweighted round puffy face with greasy hair man insisting on wearing medium size clothes while his size was XXL, he was behind a large mahogany desk with a cigar in his smiling face.

Ah! The sleuth who’s humping my girls for free! What is it this time, Ducasse?

Who’s the blonde out there who’s strangling the cat?

Better watch it, dick. Natalia just arrived and she’s my new girlfriend.

If she fucks the same as bad as she sings, we’ll be not seeing her for long.

You have a wicked sense of humor, dick but I like you. Now, what brings you here off-season? If it’s about the new underage one you will have to wait in line or overbid, I’m afraid.

Never paid for female company, Yevgeny and it’s too late to start now underage or not. I need a gun.

You must have a gun with your trade, Ducasse. And a legal gun. Why the fuck you need a second? And in any case, who told you I trade guns?

Slow down your horses, Yevgeny, I have no interest at all whether you push underage hookers or sell guns. I’m not the law and I don’t really care. A girlfriend of mine asked me a favor and I thought of coming over to ask. Cash payment and no further questions asked. Can you or not?

"I’ve heard about you, Ducasse, I’ve heard about everyone in