Amante: A Hurt/Comfort Gay Romance

By Melissa Power

You never know how deep your love is until it's tested.

 

Richard has pushed aside the idea of a relationship with another man for his entire life. He has built a persona of a cold, aloof prodigy; excelling in his position as the youngest CFO in the history of the company he works for. But when he can no longer deny his attraction to Zack, he pursues him, despite the fear of rejection.

 

Zack has been burying his attraction to Richard beneath a slew of bodies, sleeping his way through scores of men. Ironically, they all look like the one person he wants to be with. He finally gives in, but insists their relationship be kept a secret from not only the people they work with, but their friends as well. His fear of being outed puts strain on their relationship from the start and it soon becomes obvious that he's hiding something else from Richard.

 

Just when Richard finally breaks through Zack's stubbornness and secrecy, and things are finally looking like the life they both want, someone from Zack's past shows up with violent intent. The trauma that follows tests them both, and Zack's dread of being judged for his past drives a wedge between them that they may not recover from.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Power Play Press
• Release date: May 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201676414

Melissa Power

Melissa Power lives in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada with her family, both two and four legged. She spends the time she’s not writing playing sim games and reading books by her fellow LGBTQ+ authors.

Book preview

Prologue

Iwonder what they’d say if they knew.

If they knew how I really spent my summer vacation after graduation I think I’d find myself friendless pretty quickly, for the most part.

I didn’t lie when I told them my parents were sending me to Italy to study for the summer before I started university. But it’s what I did when I wasn’t at school that would make them turn away from me.

Jake Mitchell. He was an exchange student from the US too. God, he was so beautiful. Hazel eyes, dark blond hair, and the most gorgeous body. He said he was half Scandinavian. I don’t know if that was true or not, but it didn’t matter. He was so in control of himself. He was who he was, and it didn’t matter to him what anyone else thought.

I remember thinking at the time that I was grateful that he showed me who I really was; the reason I never asked any of the girls at school out. He told me I should never fight it, no matter what the world thought. He showed me what pleasure was.

I owe him so much and I never got the chance to thank him. I woke up one morning and he was gone. I never did find out what happened to him. Sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream.

But he unleashed something that I can’t share with the people who mean the most to me. It’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am. I just don’t think they’d understand.

I don’t know how Sam would handle it. I know that Curt and Lee would be okay. I mean, they’re together. No one but me knows about it, though. I didn’t mean to walk in on them.

Lee got so upset. Curt threatened to beat the hell out of me if I told the others. Like I would. He doesn’t care what they think of him, but he’d do anything to protect Lee, and Lee thought I’d hate him for it. How can I when I’m in the same boat as he is? He’s so lucky that his family is accepting. I wish mine was.

Well, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about our friends freaking out over his choice. I wish I could say the same thing.

I can’t help watching him. He reminds me of Jake. Maybe it’s his eyes, or that his hair is almost the same color, or the total self-control. It doesn’t matter. He reminds me of what I had with my first lover. No, to be honest, my only lover. The others don’t mean anything. How can they when we rarely even exchange names?

There’s something about the way he moves. That get out of my way or I’ll go right through you attitude. He’s so confident in his own abilities. Jake was like that.

I know the others think he’s arrogant, but I see it differently. He has the world in the palm of his hand. He’s rich, and he’s the youngest CFO to ever be hired in the history of the company we work for. He has power, and he knows it. He’s drop-dead gorgeous. He has women falling all over him that’d give an eye for a night in his bed. If I had all that, I’d probably come off as arrogant too.

I just wish I could talk to someone about it. I could probably talk to Curt, but I don’t want to. I can’t help feeling that my situation is different. It’s like Lee is part of him. They’ve been best friends since they were kids. It only makes sense that they’d end up together.

I probably could talk to Wyatt. I know he’s gay, but he doesn’t go around talking about it. But he tells his brother everything and I don’t think I’d want Ryan to know.

Damn! Why does it have to be so complicated?

I’d probably end up with a broken jaw if he found out. I’ve seen him with women, so I know he’s not like me. There’s no sense thinking about him like that. He’d never think twice about someone like me. Even if he was that way. And he’s not. Richard Scott is definitely not gay.

Life sucks.

I WONDER WHAT HIS FRIENDS would think.

I see Zack watching me. He’s not as subtle as he thinks. Far from it. I can’t believe that they haven’t noticed; or maybe the only reason I have is because I’m watching him too.

I can’t help it. There’s something about him, something appealing. I’ve thought so ever since high school. I’ve seen him when he’s not goofing around with Sam or buried in work responsibilities. There’s something in his eyes then. Something deep and unfathomable. It makes me want to find out what he’s thinking.

He does a good job of hiding it. As well as I do. The last thing I need in my life is for people to be privy to my...inclinations. But I can see through his act. It’s too much like my own.

I wonder why he hides it. He must know he’d have nothing to worry about with Lee and Curt. They’re so accepting of everyone. And Wyatt. He has to know about Wyatt. Now Sam on the other hand...I can see him having a problem with it. He’ll chase anything in a skirt. I’d peg him as being intolerant, even of his best friend.

I wonder if he’s as lonely in this as I am.

I just can’t afford for anyone to find out. Not only would it destroy my standing in the company, I wouldn’t be much of a role model for Jordan. That’s something he should come to on his own. Not because it’s what he’s used to living with.

I don’t think he’s seeing anyone. He can’t be. He’s always with Sam.

I’ve got to find a date for that stupid party Friday night. Maybe that woman in payroll. She’s nice enough, I guess. The last time I took her to a company function, she was so overwhelmed she hardly said a word all night. That works for me. I’ll have my assistant call her.

I hate living this lie. I have to keep up appearances, though. For everyone’s sake.

There’s no sense in even thinking about it, about him. I can’t give in to who I really am. The life I live won’t allow it. It never will. As much as I want to be with Zack, I can’t.

Life sucks.

Chapter 1

Zack was disgusted with himself as he lay there, the sweat still pouring from his body. He was physically sated, but there was an aching, hollow feeling in his chest.

Another night and another nameless body, he thought as he turned on his side, propping himself up on his arm and looking down at the man next to him.

What’s your name?

Intense, hazel eyes regarded him from under a mop of tangled blond hair. Does it matter?

I suppose not. Zack rose from the bed, reaching for his clothes and quickly dressing.

What are you doing?

Leaving.

But why?

Does it matter?

He walked away without looking back. Again.

I HATE SATURDAYS.

Richard wandered through the park, heading for his favorite spot, a bench beneath a huge tree next to the basketball court.

He was bored. Jordan was away at a friend’s house for the day, he was all caught up at work, so he was free for the weekend. He could have found something to do, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything important. So, he decided to just come to the park and read. Maybe the simple act of getting out of the house would shake him from his funk.

Reaching the bench, Richard sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him. He looked at the book in his hands and grinned. It was something Jordan had gotten for him for his birthday, arguing that he needed to read something not work related. It was surprisingly good, for fiction. Besides, he had spent his own money to buy it for him so he couldn’t not read it.

Opening it to where he had last left off, he lost himself in another world, glad for the distraction from this one.

ZACK, CURT, AND LEE reached the park entrance just as Sam, Ryan, Wyatt, and Ryan’s girlfriend, Abby, showed up.

Hey, buddy! Sam threw the basketball at Zack. Where were you last night? I called.

Zack threw the ball back at him. Asleep, probably.

At ten o’clock on a Friday night? Sam laughed. Man, you need to get a life!

I was tired. Zack turned away so his best friend wouldn’t see he was lying. Are we playing or what?

Yeah! Let’s go! Lee bounded ahead of them, heading for the basketball court. He was still bouncing when they caught up with him.

Settle down, Lee. Curt shook his head with a grin. We have all day.

Well, come on! I wanna play!

Curt, Sam, and Wyatt against Zack, Lee, and me, Ryan said.

Sounds good to me, Abby said, taking the ball from Sam.

Zack and Sam squared off in the center of the court, waiting for Abby to toss the ball. Even with his height advantage, Zack had to fight for it.

Asshole, Sam growled as Zack snatched the ball from the air.

Sucker, Zack shot back, shouldering Sam aside as he turned, throwing the ball to Lee.

Lee smirked as Curt stepped in front of him. Lee faded to the right only to whip around and bounce pass the ball. Straight to Wyatt.

Thanks, short stack! Wyatt bolted up the court, going in for a perfect layup.

Lee! Zack and Ryan yelled.

I’m sorry! Lee glared at Wyatt. It’s not fair when they’re dressed exactly the same! It’s too hard to tell them apart in the middle of a game! You guys need to not have the same haircut, dammit!

He has a point, Sam said, grinning at the two brunets. You really do have that whole freaky twin thing going on.

We’re not twins, Ryan said automatically, scowling when his friends laughed. With only ten months between them, and their almost identical features, it was something the brothers heard on a regular basis.

Fine. Wyatt reached over to Ryan and yanked his brother’s T-shirt over his head before he could protest, smirking at the other’s blush as he winked at Abby. Shirts against skins.

Works for me. Zack pulled his own shirt off, looking at Lee who followed suit.

Alright. Can we get back to it? Ryan asked, trying to regain his composure and glowering at his older sibling, swearing to himself to make him pay for embarrassing him yet again.

As the game resumed, no one noticed the figure sitting in the shadow of the tree, book forgotten in his hands.

Richard stared intently at the tallest of the group on the court, taking in the broad shoulders, sculpted chest and stomach, and feeling his heartbeat kick up a notch. Holy shit. Who would have thought he was built like that?

He tried to tear his eyes away, but couldn’t. He watched as the other moved amongst his friends, barely hearing Sam’s cry of protest when Zack grabbed a ball-carrying Lee and lifted him over his head so the diminutive man could reach the basket.

Get your eyes off him, Richard. You already decided you weren’t going to give in, Richard thought, concentrating on watching the others instead. Sam’s not too bad, actually. Not that I’d ever tell him.

He watched as Sam stole the ball from Curt and went in for a layup, accidentally elbowing Ryan in the forehead.

Shit, Ryan! I’m sorry! Sam turned to the shorter man, only to come face to face, as it were, with the basketball, hurled at him by Wyatt.

Richard snickered at the distinctly puppy-like yelp that came from the now injured man.

Wyatt! Curt yelled at him. Sam’s on our side!

Not when he hits my brother, he’s not!

I’m okay, Wyatt, Ryan said, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead and trying not to wince. It was an accident.

Abby came over, pressing a tissue to Sam’s bleeding nose. Well, you’re one short now.

What about you? Wyatt grinned at her. Though he was distant with most people, he had a very close relationship with Ryan’s spunky girlfriend.

Not likely. She grinned back. You guys are too rough for me. Why don’t you ask Richard?

Richard Scott? Sam’s head snapped around, blue eyes flashing fire. Where is he?

Over there. Abby pointed to the tree. He’s been watching the whole time.

Before Richard could make a getaway, Lee came bouncing over.

Doesn’t he ever just walk? he thought, amused. He had been aware of Lee Tracey since they had gone to high school; most were, given that Lee was the only person in their school under five feet tall, but he had never really spoken to him.

Hey, Richard! Lee smiled his ten-thousand-watt, the whole world is my friend, so I know you are too smile at the other man. Wanna play some ball?

No, Richard replied shortly, instantly feeling a twinge of guilt when Lee’s smile faded.

Oh, okay.

I’m not really dressed for it. Richard gestured to his dress pants and leather shoes. But, um, thanks.

Sure. Maybe next time! Lee’s smile was firmly back in place as he bounded away.

Yeah, right, Richard thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Zack looked toward Richard as Lee came running back. He hadn’t known the other was there the whole time. I wonder why he was just sitting there. Why is he just...watching us?

He says he can’t, Lee told his friends.

Figures. Sam scowled. Probably doesn’t want to wrinkle his designer clothes.

Lay off, Sam, Zack said. If he doesn’t want to play, he doesn’t want to.

Sam looked at him strangely, wondering what his friend was doing defending Richard Scott. He shrugged, tossed the blood-covered tissue in a nearby garbage can, and grabbed the ball from Abby. Well, I’m done bleeding. Let’s play!

WHY AM I DOING THIS again?

Richard hacked into the university server with ease. He hadn’t done something like this since high school and he had forgotten how much he enjoyed it. With a self-satisfied smile, he opened Zack’s personal file. He had already been through the HR files at work, finding nothing particularly remarkable.

Hmm. Funny, he thought, his brow furrowed in concentration. His marks were almost as good as mine. He had a basketball scholarship? I didn’t even know he was on the basketball team. Captain of the team. Interesting. Makes sense, I suppose. I heard he was playing in a league on the weekends.

He closed out of the personal file and logged into the school councilor’s reports.

Every problem he had was in connection with Sam. Why am I not surprised? Both parents have good jobs. Doesn’t seem like there were any problems at home. He spent a summer in Italy going to school? I think I remember hearing that he was born in Italy.

Richard sighed and shut down his computer, pushing his dark blond hair out of hazel eyes.

Why am I doing this? It doesn’t matter how much I know about him. Even if I could approach him, if my life would allow it, I know he’d say no. Richard left his office and wandered into the darkened kitchen. Too bad Jordan decided to stay at his friend’s house. I could use the company. Anything to get my mind off the track it seems to be stuck on.

Richard looked at his watch as he found himself standing outside his bedroom door. It was only ten o’clock. For lack of anything better to do, he decided to call it a night.

I really need to get a life.

ZACK WALKED AROUND the back of the warehouse, stopping at the first door he saw. Raising a fist, he banged on it twice and waited. It opened shortly thereafter to reveal a large man in his early thirties.

Hey, Zack. I didn’t think you’d be back again tonight.

Well, you know how it is. Zack shrugged, slipping past the bouncer.

The man shook his head as the brunet walked down the deserted hall. He liked Zack, and he had thought from the first time he met him that he didn’t belong in a place like this.

Zack, wait!

Zack stopped, turning toward the other man who was hurrying to catch up with him. Yeah?

I have to ask... Why do you come here?

Why does anyone come here, Greg? To drink, dance, pick up. Zack grinned.

You don’t belong here.

Zack held up a hand. Don’t lecture me. This place is all I have.

You’ve got friends. I know you do.

They wouldn’t understand, pal. You don’t know them like I do. Zack continued down the hall. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a beer in there with my name on it.

The bouncer shook his head as he watched the brunet walk away. No matter what he said, Zack didn’t belong here. He deserved better than this.

RICHARD TURNED OVER in his bed, shifting restlessly.

When did this bed get so damned big? he thought, turning over for what seemed like the hundredth time. Or the house this quiet?

He rose from the tangled sheets, going to the bathroom and flicking on the light. He splashed some cold water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror.

Fourth night in a row that I can’t sleep. Going on five weeks now since I realized he was watching me as much as I was watching him. What am I going to do?

He shut out the light and crawled back into bed. He couldn’t get Zack out of his head. It was useless, really, to think of him that way; any way, to be honest. Though he had been in almost every class with Zack or one of his friends in high school, and even some in university, he had held himself aloof from everyone. He had put up an impenetrable front that no one even dared to try breach. He knew they all thought he was a complete asshole, and maybe he was. He had his reasons, but he wasn’t about to share them with anyone.

I can’t approach him. I want to, but I can’t. I know he wouldn’t want his friends knowing any more than I would. Damn! What a bitch of a way to find out money can’t buy everything. I want to get to know him better. Maybe... I know he’s attracted to me. Maybe we could start with coffee or something.

Richard burrowed into his pillow, feeling sleep finally stealing up on him. His last coherent thought was that he would spend tomorrow figuring out a way to get the other alone. At least to talk to him.

ZACK WALKED FROM THE dance floor, heading for the bar. Taking the offered bottle, he turned around, leaning against the well-worn wood and surveying the crowd.

He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his heart beating in time with the blaring techno music. He had been coming here for a few years, but he still felt out of place. It didn’t matter, though. It was the only place like it around. Though he was on a first name basis with most of the staff, the patrons didn’t come here to exchange names. Far from it. Most didn’t want their names known.

His eyes snapped open as he felt someone place a hand on his arm. He looked down to see an extremely handsome redhead with green eyes smiling up at him.

Hello, handsome, he said in a low, velvety voice.

Zack lifted an eyebrow and looked at the hand on his arm. It was quickly removed.

The man’s eyes narrowed at the lack of interest on Zack’s face. What’s the matter? Don’t like what you see?

Not particularly, Zack replied in a bored voice.

Fine, then! The voice lost its honey smoothness. I’m not into brunets, anyway!

Zack shook his head, a small smile crossing his lips, as the man moved back off into the crowd. He couldn’t help it if he had definite tastes. And those tastes didn’t run to short redheads. He scanned the crowd again, his eyes catching the intense gaze of someone watching him from the dance floor.

He let his eyes wander over the other’s form. A few inches shorter, slight build, and a shock of dark blond hair.

Definite possibilities, he thought, setting down his bottle and pushing away from the bar.

Zack strode to the dance floor, stopping in front of the other man. His arm snaked around a slim waist and he pulled their bodies flush. He was rewarded with a brilliant smile and an inviting look.

You’ll do. Zack took his hand and guided him from the club.

RICHARD WOKE IN A SWEAT, breathing hard.

God! It was just a dream.

He glanced at his alarm clock. 2:16. He’d only been asleep for about an hour.

The dream had been so real he was almost expecting to find that he wasn’t alone in bed. Richard groaned. Oh, it was vivid alright. So vivid his breathing wasn’t the only thing that was hard.

He wasn’t even aware of his hands moving of their own volition as the dream began to replay itself in his mind. So real. I could taste his lips, feel the heat of his body against mine. Feel the strength of him. God, I want him. I could hear his voice. Hear him calling out my name. Oh, God.

The tension in his body released itself and he didn’t even notice the warm wetness seeping into the bed sheets as he drifted back to sleep, sated, one word slipping from his lips.

Zack.

ZACK MOANED AS HE RELEASED into the body beneath him and collapsed, breathing heavily.

Damn, you’re good, the other said as he pushed the brunet off him and turned on his side to face him. You should come around more often.

I don’t think so, Zack replied, allowing himself a minute to catch his breath.

Why not?

Zack didn’t answer, getting up and pulling on his clothes. This was the part he hated. The part where they wanted to talk.

Ah, I see. The other man’s voice sounded almost sad.

You see what?

It’s obvious. You want someone you can’t have.

How the fuck would you know?

I’ve seen it before. Slim shoulders lifted in a slight shrug.

The last thing I want is your pity. Zack was starting to get angry. I already got what I wanted from you.

Light green eyes regarded him thoughtfully. It won’t help, you know.

What?

This. The other gestured to himself. At least, it won’t for long.

Zack rolled his eyes as he moved across the room, anxious now to leave. I came here for sex, not analysis. I’m leaving.

He was just about to open the door when the other stopped him cold.

By the way, my name’s Dallas, not Richard.

Chapter 2

D ad! Where are you ?!

Jordan’s voice startled Richard out of his thoughts. He had been sitting in the window seat in his room all morning, trying to think of a way to get Zack alone without his friends, especially Sam, becoming suspicious. Normally he wouldn’t have cared, but the last thing he wanted was for Zack to avoid him because of those friends.

Hey! Didn’t you hear me calling you? Jordan stood in front of him, one hand on his hip and the other clutching his dirt bike helmet.

Sorry, Jordan. I didn’t.

How could you not hear me? I was yelling at the top of my lungs!

I’ve just got a lot on my mind. Richard reached out and ruffled his son’s hair. What do you need?

My bike’s not working.

What’s wrong with it?

How should I know? The boy rolled his eyes. If you hadn’t fired the mechanic, I would.

We’ve been over this before, Jordan. He took my Harley out for a joy ride and wrecked it.

Well, now my dirt bike’s not working, and we don’t have anyone to fix it.

I wish I could help you out, kiddo, but I haven’t had time to find another mechanic that will make house calls.

Can we take it to a garage, then?

We don’t have a way to get it there. It’s not like it’ll fit in the car, Richard said. You’re going to have to wait until I can find someone.

Well, I don’t want to wait for weeks! Jordan chewed his lip. Wait! What about Zack?

What? Richard’s heart skipped a beat, thinking his son was talking about something other than his bike. He was so taken aback by the boy’s suggestion it didn’t even register for him to ask how Jordan knew Zack.

Zack has a motorcycle, and I know he fixes it himself. Maybe you could ask him!

Jordan, I don’t think...

I’ll ask him! I know he’d do it. Please, Dad? Jordan gave his father his best pout.

Richard sighed. Fine. You can ask him.

Thanks, Dad! Jordan threw himself into his parent’s arms. Can we go now? I can tell you how to get to his house!

How do you know where he lives? Richard’s pulse began to race at the thought of seeing the person who haunted his dreams.

Oh, the boy gestured dismissively, I went there with Lee a couple of times.

And since when did you start hanging around with Lee Tracey?

Since he came over to Nana’s with his mother forever ago. Didn’t you know Nana and his mom were best friends? Big, hazel eyes regarded him thoughtfully. You know, you should hang out with Lee and them sometime. They’re really nice.

Jordan, I don’t have time for that sort of thing.

Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re too busy with work. Jordan laughed, used to his father’s worn out excuse. But you really need some friends, Dad.

Richard shook his head, deciding not to argue. Come on, then. If you want to go ask him, let’s get going.

Jordan gave a loud whoop and bounded out of the room, Richard following more slowly.

The perfect opportunity had fallen into his lap, and he’d be damned if he didn’t take full advantage of it.

ZACK! THIS FILTER DOESN’T fit, Sam groused, pushing his shoulder length, straw -blond hair out of his eyes.

Zack looked up from where he was checking the gap on the sparkplug and shook his head. That’s because you’re trying to put it in upside down, you bonehead.

Oh. Sam turned it over and set it in its place. And I’m not a bonehead, you dink.

Whatever. Zack wiped the grease off his hands and stood.

Hey, guess what? Sam asked as he caught the rag Zack threw at him, wiping his own hands. I got a date with that girl in accounting.

The one with the buck teeth?

No! Not her! The other one. The blonde.

Oh, the one with the flat chest. Zack grinned.

Very funny, you. Sam grinned back. I’m surprised you didn’t ask her out. She really likes you, man.

The brunet shrugged. Not my type.

No one’s your type, Sam said. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a...

He was cut off by the sound of an engine as a silver Porsche pulled into the driveway where they were working. The passenger door flew open and Jordan