Now I Swim: Ahora Yo Nado - A dual Language Book

By Susana Jimenez-Mueller

I never had a panic attack until I found out I was afraid of water! In fact, after several years of taking swimming lessons that only deepened my fear of water, I told myself that I wasn't meant to swim and declared myself water-phobic. I believed that people were born with the ability to swim, but I had not been born to be a swimmer. What if I told you that we are all born swimmers? In this book, you will learn how I went from fear to swimming freely in the water. Also, you will see how my fear of heights, acrophobia, has lessened due to healing my fear of water. In the end, not only did I learn to swim, but I also became a water aerobics and swim instructor, teaching people who have a fear of water and passing it forward. This is my story. Now I swim! *** Nunca había tenido un ataque de pánico, hasta que descubrí que ¡tenía miedo al agua! De hecho, después de varios años de tomar clases de natación que sólo profundizaron mi miedo al agua, me dije a mí misma que no estaba destinada a nadar y me declaré hidrofóbica. Creía con toda certeza que las persona nacían con la capacidad de nadar - y esa capacidad no me había sido dada.¿Y si les dijera que todos somos nadadores natos? En este libro conocerán cómo pasé del miedo a sentirme libre y realizadala en el agua. Tambien veran como el miedo al las alturas, acrofobia, ha disminuido a traves de sanar mi miedo al agua. Al fin, no sólo aprendí a nadar, me convertí en instructora de ejercicios acuáticos y de natación, enseñandole a nadar a las personas con miedo al agua. Esta es mi historia. ¡Ahora yo nado!

• Language: English
• Publisher: SusanasBooks LLC
• Release date: Apr 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005025212

Susana Jimenez-Mueller

A Cuban-American writer, the author of Now I Swim, collaborator of Perico - The Amazing Burro, and co-author of Like Finding Water in the Desert.Susana writes prose and poetry about love for family, genealogy, and the microscopic. She holds a Master in Business Continuity Management from Norwich University, a Bachelor in Chemistry from Florida International University, and a writing certificate from the Institute of Children’s Literature. She teaches Life Story Writing and leads the Bloomingdale Regional Library Life Stories Enrich (LISTEN) Project, producing audio recordings for writers in Valrico, Florida.Susana is an avid genealogist and family storyteller. She is presently working on a novel based on her family, dating to colonial times in Cuba.You can also find her on Instagram....www.Instagram.com/swimsue54

Book preview

NOW I SWIM

WITHOUT FEAR

By

Susana Jiménez-Mueller

Copyright © 2021 Susana Jiménez-Mueller

Third Edition

Published by SusanasBooks, Brandon, FL.

Edited by M. Posinoff

Cover by SusanasBooks

Cover Photograph, by M. Dash

Student photographs by J. Mueller and S. Mueller.

Author photographs by M. Dash, R. Mueller, J. Mueller,

and B. Davis.

You can find Susana at:

www.facebook.com/SwimSue

www.facebook.com/SusanasBooks

www.susanasbooks.com

www.instagram.com/susanasbooks

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9798721067983

In memory of my sister, Gloria Elena, my mother, Martina and father, Orlando. I wish we could all go to the beach!

TABLE OF CONTENTS - ENGLISH

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

PANIC ATTACK

MANAGING OR HEALING FEAR?

REFLECTIONS

THE YOUNG WIFE IS NOT A SWIMMER

ANOTHER SUMMER

THE BOATING YEARS

SNOW SKIING

WATER AEROBICS

THE NEWSPAPER CLIPPING

THE JOURNALS - AN OVERVIEW

I'M A WATER AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR

CONQUERING HEIGHTS

INDONESIA

FREESTYLE - THE HOLY GRAIL OF SWIMMERS

TEACHING THE GRANDKIDS

FAMILY TIME

FLORIDA SNORKELING

I'M A SWIM INSTRUCTOR

LIFE FROM MY POOL AND OTHER PLACES

ANTIGUA GUATEMALA

THE OLD WEST

THE JOURNALS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS

CONTENIDO - ESPAÑOL

RECONOCIMIENTO

El ataque de pánico

¿Manejar o sanar el miedo?

Reflexiones

La joven esposa no es una nadadora

Otro Verano

Los años de navegación

El recorte de periódico

Los diarios - una visión en general

Conquistando las alturas

Indonesia

Nadar estilo libre - el santo grial de los nadadores

Enseñando a los nietos

Tiempo en familia

Florida snorkeling

Soy instructora de natación

La vida desde mi piscina

Mis diarios

Sobre la autora

Pregunstas Para Club de Lectores

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My undying love for my parents, Orlando and Martina (Marta), who taught me perseverance. My gratitude and thanks to my mom and Jon, my husband, for their support as I took swim classes – one after another without success. As well as, our daughter Rebeca, endearingly nicknamed Beca, for always looking for a solution and finding the famous paper clipping which opened my life to new opportunities, being my swim spotter and water buddy.

Our son, Zack, and his wife Maegan Beery-Mueller; my mother in law, Maxine Mueller; and sister in law, Gail Trenholm, for sharing my journey from afar. Elsie and Ernie Rodríguez, my childhood friends. Maria Rey, Vicky Beecher, Katherine Simmons, Sue Connell, and our grandkids Xavier, Logan, Raiden, and Brandt, for swimming with me.

My thanks to Melon Dash for having the clarity of mind and heart to develop the Miracle Swimming® System for teaching people fearful of water, and being a friend. Thanks to all the MSA spotters for their patience with me.

A special thanks to my friend and editor, Mona Posinoff. Finally, my thanks to Angie Leslie, Spence Autry, Phil Lawlor, and Melon Dash for reading the manuscript and helping sort out redundancies.

INTRODUCTION

I never had a panic attack until I found out I was afraid of water! In fact, after several years of taking swimming lessons that only deepened my fear of water, I told myself that I wasn't meant to swim and declared myself water-phobic. I believed that people were born with the ability to swim, but I had not been born to be a swimmer.

What if I told you that we are all born swimmers?

In this book, you will learn how I went from fear to swimming freely in the water. Also, you will see the connection between my fear of water and the fear of falling and heights. Then, how my fear of heights, acrophobia lessened due to applying the methodology, which helped me heal the fear of water.

This book doesn’t teach the Miracle Swimming® System (MSA), nor is it intended to be an MSA guide. Instead, this book captures a journey - a chronicle of how I evolved from a water-phobic person to a confident swimmer, water aerobics instructor, and then a swim instructor, recounting my journey of liberation from the crippling fear of water and teaching other afraid adults how to swim.

Now I Swim includes my journal entries, beginning with the first MSA class. I notated the journals longhand each day of my journey. For the most part, I transcribed these daily reflections verbatim, while at times, I added clarification points.

The following are terms and phrases the reader will encounter throughout the book.

Born Swimmer: A term used by people who identify themselves as someone who always had the ability to swim - born with the ability to swim.

Homefun: Homework that is completed because it’s fun, not homework; an original Melon Dash -founder of MSA term.

MSA: Miracle Swimming® for Adults (MSA).

Standing ovation: A phrase used by Melon in class while hitting the surface of the water with an open palm - known as water clapping

Staying in your body: Referring to staying calm, the 1st Circle in the MSA System.

Staying wet: Getting back in the pool and having fun in the water after swim classes are over.

Swim: To move in the water – above or underwater – from here to there.

The 5 Circles™: An illustration of the emotional phases a person passes through, from being calm to being in a panic. Circle 1- denoting calm.

The Wheel: The wheel is a term used when a person performs the same action repeatedly, unable to find a solution to their problem.

Toypedo: A water toy that looks like a torpedo.

TSI: Transpersonal Swimming Institute – the name of the swim school in the 2004-2005 timeframe. TSI later became MSI and is now MSA.

PREFACE

Have you ever felt panic at the sight of a swimming pool or experienced terror in the water?

I did. I had a paralyzing fear of water!

I researched methods to manage fear, read about the brain-body connection, and devoured information on techniques used by psychologists to desensitize people to the object of their fear.

By age thirty-seven, I declared myself water-phobic and often told my family and friends I needed a swim instructor who was a therapist. Little did I know that later in life, I would meet an individual who would teach me in a therapeutic environment how to heal my fear of water.

Now I Swim, is the story of how I conquered and healed my fear of water and the way my fear of heights lessened and became manageable as I applied the methodology used to rid my life of water-phobia. In the end, not only did I learn to swim, but I also became a water aerobics and swim instructor, teaching people who have a fear of water and paying it forward.

This book with my swim journal entries may be helpful to people who are already traveling their own swim journey and who are managing expectations along the way. For others, these stories may be a source of inspiration.

Regardless, I hope this book encourages you to release the swimmer in you, and if you have a fear of heights, that it helps you find relief knowing acrophobia can also be cured.

This is my story.

Now I Swim!

Susana Jiménez-Mueller

March 2021

Brandon, FL.

1

PANIC ATTACK

After our wedding in November of 1976, Jon and I lived on a second-floor condominium in Hialeah, Florida, near Miami. Behind the building, an ordinary swimming pool located on the first floor, sheltered on three sides by the building, sat with empty lounge chairs most of the time.

Early one Saturday morning, beige basket in hand, I made my way to the condo laundry room. I walked fast down the long, dimly lit hallway focusing on the sunlit glass door at the far end of the hall.

At this time of day, the glass door gave way to a breezeway where the fresh morning air had not yet been chased away by the sun, and the dark laundry room overlooked the pool area. I reached the end of the hallway and put down the basket; my stiff fingers, momentarily relieved to be rid of the weight.

I opened the door and pressed against the glass with my back, turned around, and stepped into the corridor. The sunlight reflecting off the pool’s surface, the openness of the passage, and the overwhelming drop from the second floor to the pool made my stomach flip. I slammed my back against the wall, closed my eyes, and shuffled along until I felt the edge of the door to the laundry room and entered its safe hold.

In the laundry room, my feet held fast to the floor. Like the anchors of a ship, they kept me in place as I swayed in waves of nausea. Blood ran cold through my veins, and my throat tightened - I couldn’t breathe. I leaned on the closest washing machine until my heart stopped pounding. I never felt this way before – Later, I was told I had experienced an anxiety attack!

In the ensuing days, I grappled with the implication of the debilitating experience and knew I had to understand what distressed me.

Soon after, I realized I had a severe fear of water and heights.

Twenty-seven years later, after many attempts to learn how to swim, seeking hypnotherapy, and declaring myself water-phobic, the key and method to heal my fear of water, and begin to heal the fear of heights, literally fell in my lap.

2

MANAGING OR HEALING FEAR?

As a scientist, I’m curious about how things work. Thus, my approach to understanding my fear of water became systematic. After many years of swimming lessons that didn’t result in the desired outcome – me swimming - I turned to hypnotherapy and studying how fear could be managed or eradicated.

I researched methods to manage fear;

read about the brain-body connection and

devoured information on techniques used by psychologists to desensitize people to the object of their fear.

There are excellent books on how to manage fear, but managing fear in a medium such as water can prove to be deadly since panic can quickly overcome a person who fails to manage their anxiety. Open water swimmers are often told to focus on their breathing or count if they become anxious in deep water – we know this doesn’t always work. Managing fear in a water environment is not the answer; healing the fear, however small, is the answer.

From the beginning of time, our brains evolved to help us deal with daily challenges, indicating a brain-body connection.

Neuroscientist Dr. Paul D. McLean, who termed the unconscious and conscious as the ‘old’ brain and the ‘new’ brain, explains the old brain is comprised of the reptilian brain and the limbic system. The reptilian brain is responsible for basic survival: The fight and flight mechanism, the need for reproduction, and for nurturing. The old brain is continually asking, Is it safe? (Hendrix, 1988).

The new brain is the cerebral cortex, and among its many functions, it reasons, organizes, and plans. According to the experts, at many levels, this part of the brain is the one with which we identify and think of as ourselves.

Why is it essential to understand the role of the old brain? Why can’t we tell our old brain we are done with the fear and will it to go away? The answer becomes apparent when we understand how each part of the brain, the old and the new, operates and that both parts are always communicating.

Dr. Hendrix, the author of Getting the Love you Want, explains Dr. McLean’s model flawlessly. He says one of the crucial differences between the two brains is that the old brain is not fully aware of the external world. It relies on the images and information coming from the new brain, our conscious mind.

The old brain does not perceive time; it doesn’t know there was a yesterday or a today, or that tomorrow may be different. An experience that happened to us as a child is as vivid as if it happened yesterday, The past and the present live side by side within your mind. (Hendrix, 1988).

On the other hand, the new brain is busy working, learning, and feeding information to the old brain. Together, the old and new brains compare notes within a series of fast exchanges, collectively analyzing each situation the person confronts. Here is an example using a delicious food: ice cream.

Suppose our hypothetical character named Mary goes to a new creamery. She enters the establishment, and immediately her new brain creates images of ice cream served in cones, cups, and ice cream bars. The creamery and the ice cream, along with assorted flavors and textures, are compared by her old brain against stored information. All the images are pleasurable, the signal is sent, and Mary orders a soft-serve strawberry cone. As the attendant hands Mary the cone, a picture of ‘caution’ pops up. Instantly, Mary asks for a few napkins. The last time Mary had an ice cream cone, the bottom fell out, and she wore the ice cream instead of eating it! This time, she finishes the ice cream, and the cone survives right up to the last bite.

The more often Mary eats an ice cream cone that survives to the last bite, the less often the old brain will trigger a caution signal. Until one day, Mary asks for a cone and does not ask for extra napkins!

In a sense, Mary desensitized herself to the imperfect cone. The pleasurable experiences of eating ice cream accumulated, during different visits, in the old brain to offset and override her unpleasant experience of wearing ice cream.

This simple example offers a profound understanding of how we can eradicate fear from our lives. How can we eliminate fear? According to researchers at New York University (NYU), the extinction of fear is one of the two ways we can deal with anxiety. The NYU study states, The extinction of fear, which has been examined in a range of species, involves the repeated exposure to the feared event without negative consequences. (Capizzi & Devitt, 2008).

We can heal fear by systematically and methodically making contact with water. Does this sound insane or scary? It does! Consider the old brain, your unconscious, does not know when or where you are in time, and your fear of water is as accessible as the first-time water was perceived as dangerous.

Parallel to these findings, geneticists recently found that fears can be transferred from generation to generation. According to the Medical Daily, an online source, "Fear can modify our DNA and influence the behavior of future generations. According to a Nature Neuroscience study, when an ancestor endured a terrifying experience – and managed to survive – their genetic machinery kept note of it, manifesting as a phobia that gets passed down to subsequent kin." (Sergo, 2013)

In essence, If you’re afraid of the dark, perhaps one of your ancestors almost died there. If you’re afraid of water, perhaps one of your ancestors almost drowned. (Hayes, 2014)

Fear can be stamped-out through desensitization, whether acquired during our lifetime (through epigenetic alterations) or passed down through epigenetic changes. The epigenome, comprised of chemical compounds, can change through a person’s lifetime. (National Human Genome Research Institute, 2016)

My mother’s well-intended attention resulted in her passing the fear of water to me - literally. First, in the way she ‘protected’ me from the water: either by keeping me in shallow water at the beach or always reciting its hazards. Then, through a very organic vector entirely unknown to either one of us at the time – epigenetic changes.

Long before I had this information, I instinctively knew the only way to swim was to find a therapist who was a swim instructor.

There is a therapeutic swimming system that uses a method to over-write fearful memories and clean the slate.

Yes, the fear of water can be eradicated or healed – 100% guaranteed. For the last thirty-five years, Ms. M. Dash (Melon) has been delivering living proof. Over three-thousand people from all over the world have entered her classes with panic and become swimmers, including me!

MSA teaches how to heal the fear of water. Melon developed the uniqueness of the 5 Circles™. Her theory of the 5 Circles™ states there are five stages between calm and panic. Your body must be calm to heal the fear of water and to absorb the information coming from feeling or experiencing the water. For example, how does it feel as you push or pull on the water? Is the water warm or cold? Does it tickle or massage your skin? (Dash, 2006).

This methodology teaches a student how to progress in the water comfortably and slowly, never attempting any skill that doesn’t sound like fun or the student is not curious to try. (Dash, 2006). The method combines poolside and in-pool instruction. Poolside instruction includes discussions about fear and how to understand the healing process. In the water, the instructor assists and observes to gently stimulate and serve as a guide in the newly found environment.

Her book, Conquer Your Fear of Water details the method and explains critical insights to overcoming the fear of water. In her classes, she provides the student with a manual and shows how control is the essential ingredient to being comfortable in the water and swimming. (Dash, 2006)

For all of us who felt and lived with fear, we know the lack of control stokes fear, and the missing link is learning control by staying true to ourselves.

The slower I moved in the water, the more I learned, and the faster I felt safe in the water. In my experience, I embodied the MSA teachings by repeated and frequent exposure to the water. In this book, I chronicle and journal over one-hundred visits to the pool, gradually undergoing pleasurable desensitization, an incredible journey!

It’s worth noting that a new therapy, identified as Memory-Disruption Therapy discussed in the journal Scientific American Mind (Ahmed, 2017), expands on the Exposure Therapy principle discussed above. It asserts that if a fearful person is reminded of their fear for one minute and then exposed to it ten minutes later, the person receives the equivalent benefit of three hours of exposure. This information is exciting and, in my opinion, supports the MSA approach. Exponential results can be gained from one hour of land session exploring what makes us fearful in the water, then followed by two hours of pool time experiencing the water environment in a safe and controlled setting.

3

REFLECTIONS

I don’t know when my fear of water and heights began, but like many adults who fear the water, I tracked my anxiety to one of my parents - Mom. She suffered a lousy water experience as a child. At age seven, she tried to cross the river which ran through my grandfather’s homestead in Cuba, and a cousin held her underwater for a long time - what felt to her like an eternity. It was the beginning of her fear of water and mine!

Reflecting on my earlier years, I certainly experienced incidents I perceived as dangerous. For instance, on my first birthday, I ran the length of our home, going out the back door, tripping and falling in a puddle of water. Everyone, especially Mom, made a fuss, including checking me from head to toe.

At age three, I watched my older sister, Gloria, being baptized by immersion in a river. I thought the pastor was killing her! I tried to run to her and save her, but the babysitter held my arm firmly, and there I stood under the Flamboyant tree, desperately watching as my sister went under once, twice, three times.

I saw her lifted, sopping wet in her white dress, and people were hugging her and singing songs about death and resurrection. I didn’t understand the words, but I think I understood the concept of death. In hindsight, she was as happy as the people holding her in the ceremonial embrace, despite my skewed perception. Here was another bad memory, as my limbic brain continued to be fed the stuff of nightmares.

In Cuba, we often went to the Caibarién beach as a family, and Mom paced at the water’s edge, calling out to my dad and sister to come into the shallows. Mom acted like a chicken raising ducks, squawking when the ducklings are in the water, and she can’t go in after them.

During those times, I played in the surf under her watchful eye and was pulled out when she thought I went more than ankle-deep. Unhappy, I can imagine Mom assuming she had no control, unable to protect us from the treacherous water. Later in life, I came to understand how she felt.

At five years of age, we left Cuba and crossed the Caribbean on a passenger ship without gaining detrimental water or height memories. When we arrived in Venezuela, a very mountainous country, a new dimension to my sensitivity was subconsciously added – a fear of heights.

We were picked up by my uncle Maximo at the Port of Maiquetia. After loading the car, we headed inland to San Felipe on a narrow, winding, two-way mountain road, a four-hour trip in those days. I had measles and fever. My mother held me tight every time a large bus or truck passed, exclaiming under her breath, !Ay, Dios mio! – Oh, my God! We drove south, hugging the face of the mountain, and arrived