Who's Your Mummy?

By Alexis Dunstan

This book is for you if:

You're a new mother (or are about to become one) and want to know how return to work mothers navigated their path to success.

You feel overwhelmed with motherhood and your career.

You want to learn how to set boundaries and manage your time with ease.

You want to learn how to live you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Passionpreneur Publishing
• Release date: May 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781922456533

Book preview

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Who’s Your Mummy

Copyright © 2021 Alexis Dunstan

First published in 2021

ISBN

Hardcase – 978-1-922456-51-9

Paperback – 978-1-922456-52-6

Ebook – 978-1-922456-53-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval

system, or transmitted by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording, or otherwise) without written permission from the author.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links

contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer

be valid. The information in this book is based on the author’s experiences and

opinions. The views expressed in this book are solely those of the author and do not

necessarily reflect the views of the publisher; the publisher hereby disclaims

any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense any form of medical, legal,

financial, or technical advice either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author

is solely to provide information of a general nature to help you in your quest for personal

development and growth. In the event you use any of the information in this

book, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. If

any form of expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional

should be sought.

Publishing information

Publishing, design, and production facilitated by Passionpreneur Publishing,

A division of Passionpreneur Organization Pty Ltd, ABN: 48640637529

www.PassionpreneurPublishing.com

Melbourne, VIC | Australia

This book is dedicated to my husband, Adrian, and our sons, Zac and Dane.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Fear Less

Chapter 2: Mastering Boardrooms and Nursery Rooms

Chapter 3: Every Mummy Hurts, sometimes

Chapter 4: Making Connections

Chapter 5: Golden Goals for Golden Girls

Chapter 6: Good and Toxic

Chapter 7: The Rise of the Guilt-Free Mummy

Chapter 8: Cha-Cha Changes

Chapter 9: Career Transitions and Life Gems

Chapter 10: Boss Mum

Chapter 11: Conclusion

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Even today, in the year 2021, despite all the advancements humanity has made, the ugly fact remains that there is still inequality between men and women in terms of career and family responsibilities.

It is still common for a woman to have to choose between her career and motherhood. Furthermore, it is still believed that women cannot achieve a balanced life taking care of these two responsibilities at the same time, and that in order to live in harmony, one of these has to be prioritised over the other. This may lead to feelings of regret for some women when, later in life, they examine the outcomes of their decisions that led them to choose one of these two.

The idea that these are mutually exclusive and that one must take priority over the other is a misconception. Women can and do live the lives they love without having to choose between motherhood and career.

I can prove to you that a career woman can balance both her career and motherhood at the same time and live a life without having to wonder about what if or, worse still, regret the decision she has made. I want to share with you how I and other career mums did this so that you may be inspired to do so too.

There is a plethora of baby books available in the market to prepare mums for the arrival of a baby. However, there are not as many books that prepare mums for the physical, psychological and spiritual journey from career woman to mummy and career mum. While there are women who transition to career mum without fuss, other women need guidance to navigate the changes required to transition from mum to career mum.

I have coached several career mums in preparation for their return to work. Although it may appear simple, the transition from mum to career mum poses some of the most challenging lessons that a mother will most likely experience in her lifetime.

There are a number of reasons for this, and the three that stand-out above the others are the lack of community awareness regarding the issues faced by return-to-work mothers, the often limited support networks outside of the immediate family that can empower mums to return to work knowing that her baby will be in safe hands, and the affordability and accessibility of childcare. In knowing this, I have devoted my coaching expertise towards coaching career mums. Although we may not yet have all the solutions to these global issues, continuing to increase awareness will contribute towards strengthening these provisions for the future working mother.

As I continue to support return-to-work mothers to successfully integrate back into business, especially after maternity leave, I am conscious of the fact that this is a period in time where return-to-work mothers are typically at their most vulnerable as they experience significant changes to their environment at home and at the workplace.

It is interesting to note, companies invest significant resources towards talent acquisition and the onboarding of new employees. Onboarding programs typically include hours of presentations about the organisation and fancy company-branded materials that are designed to entice feelings of welcome and belonging, with a view that the new employee will remain committed to the company and positively contribute towards its goals.

However, there are currently limited provisions for onboarding, or more appropriately reboarding, programs for our colleagues who return to work from maternity leave. For some career mums, returning to work from maternity leave is like being a new employee again – one who comes with the added advantage of prior company knowledge and motivation to deliver excellent outcomes. Due to a lack of awareness, some companies inadvertently disengage career mums when they fail to pay attention to the needs of these employees. These needs are not only about reduced working hours or flexibility to work remotely. The most common desires of the career mums that I have coached are to feel welcomed back at work and to feel included – these needs are similar to that of a new starter in the company. If these primary needs are ignored, it is likely to result in lower engagement levels and higher attrition rates for this employee group.

My mother-in-law once told me that being pregnant and giving birth is the easy part. The hard work comes along when the mum has to continue succeeding despite the rapid changes in her world. She now has her beautiful baby that she’s responsible for, and at the same time, she also has to take the lead in her own personal transformation.

The changes that take place in a woman’s life that allow her to transform from career woman to mum are less understood because it is not often discussed. It is considered personal information that is not for sharing with others. It is therefore not surprising that support networks for career mums tend to be fragmented and many women are left to navigate the changes on their own. The outcome of navigating these changes in isolation is that some mums are left feeling lonely. When they are able to accept and understand that the change is inevitable and many career mums experience the same changes in varying degrees and timeframes, the veil of loneliness may be lifted.

For example, it is common for a new mum to not know what questions to ask and how to approach situations in the way that she did before being a mum. This indecisive manner makes it difficult to focus on their return-to-work plans as overwhelming feelings and emotions may bring out a sense of being out of control. Once they are able to understand their feelings, the ability to focus on planning for the future returns.

When their plans for their future exclude their baby, feelings of guilt for not wanting to be a full-time mum may surface. This guilt can make some mums believe that their goals to return to work make them less maternal and ungrateful for their baby. Suffice to say that not only is it healthy for mums to have their personal goals that do not always include their baby, it is also healthy for their baby to have a mum that is looking after herself in a positive way.

If you experience feelings of guilt, you have the power to release yourself from this guilt-cycle and believe that your aspirations can be exclusive to you. Your thoughts are yours alone and your aspirations make you human. Therefore, some women will enjoy a life of being a full-time mum, while others will prefer to return to work – to each, her own.

Preparation is the key to most success stories. Returning to work after having a baby requires a lot of focus, planning and goal setting.

There are many success stories of return-to-work mums who achieve their career goals and just as many stories of career disappointments. Some of these disappointing outcomes can be attributed to lack of preparation and unrealistic expectations. Therefore, it is important to know that being prepared for the changes that will be experienced in the first few years of the baby’s life while managing career goals is critical in safeguarding the happiness and emotional safety of all career mums.

Do you believe that you have all it takes to lead motherhood and your career at the same time? If you answered yes, then you are one of the few women who would say this, and for that, I celebrate you. If you have doubts about how you would go about this, it’s okay, because this is why I’m here for you – to guide you and explore what’s in store for you so that you can reap the rewards that you deserve.

This book is a combination of stories from career mums. What you will read are accounts of what they experienced through their journey. When you have very little time to ponder