From Chaki City to LPC Grad

By Richard Gant

Where on earth is Chaki City and what in the world is LPC Grad!!? 

All is revealed in this tale of two very different clans of cats, who were left to their own devices after their human masters deserted them in the wake of a deadly virus.

Whilst life was wonderful for the Cattishtanis thanks to all their

• Language: English
• Publisher: Richard Gant
• Release date: Nov 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781914078057

Book preview

FROM CHAKI CITY

TO LPC GRAD

Richard Gant

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Copyright © 2020 by Richard Gant

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any form of retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior permission in writing from the publishers except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Contents

Characters

1. The Great Escape

2. The Brothers' Revenge

3. The Mystery of the Stolen Fish

4. The Robocats

5. Haunted Cats

6. The Race

7. Ants in Their Pants

8. The Double Agent Strikes

9. The Fury of the Fishing Cat

10. The Very Snowy Winter

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In loving memory of Chaki

Characters

The Cattishtanis

Max - 1st President of Cattishtan Chaki - Daughter of Max, Ambassador of Cattishtan

Shoof & Sniff - Chaki’s brothers and sons of Max

Pistache - Personal assistant of Max

Hubertus - 2nd President of Cattishtan

Plume - Literary expert, Minister for Culture Misqui - Cattishtani clairvoyant

McHackey - Computer expert & identical twin of Snowball

Snowball - Cattishtan Minister for Sports

Sirrubbish - Cattishtan Minister for Ecology

Otto - Technician at the Studios 

Blackie - Cattishtani Master Spy

Brutus - Chief Bodyguard of Hubertus Norbert - Assistant Bodyguard of Hubertus Rufus - Head of the Cattishtani Army Gustavo - Head Chef of the Golden Dumpling

Klaus – Max’s doctor

Theo - Chaki City Museum Director

Ludo & Bonnie - Modest Cattishtanis of the TURD

Freddie - Cattishtani Veteran

Pepper & Pippa – Assistants at the Presidential Palace

Jazz & Julie - DJs on Chaki FM

The LPCs

Vlad - President of LPC Grad

Omar - LPC Grad Ambassador to Cattishtan

Elsa - Beauty Queen & Omar’s daughter

Ulysses - Chief of Staff of LPC Army

Varbador – LPC Head of Security Zdorovo – LPC Minister for Health

Zuma – LPC Minister for Sports Cash – LPC Minister for Finance Fluke – LPC Guide & Adventurer Ludo – LPC Santa Claus

Drako – LPC Santa Claus Scaro – LPC Santa Claus Minouche - LPC Scout LPC Farmer (no name) LPC Detective (no name)

The Others

Yuri - Nickname for Sphynx Cat

Koshka - Forest Cat

The Fishing Cat

1.

The Great Escape

You might not believe this... But it’s true; our feline friends have made quite a lot of money from all the adverts that they've been in. Everybody knows that cats are very independent creatures, but here’s the story of how this independence really went to their heads! Because somehow, and don’t ask me how, but when all the humans left after a nasty virus made life too unbearable, they banded together to create their own little country somewhere in Central Asia where all the countries end in Stan. If that doesn’t mean anything to you then it’s time to get your atlas out. You see where Russia is? It’s not very hard to miss because it’s the biggest country in the world - but just underneath it, there are a bunch of countries ending in Stan, like Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, and Afghanistan.  Well, it’s somewhere there...

Most of these cats didn’t have a clue where their new country was let alone what it should be called. Not, that was, until their leader, whom everyone called Max because of his sheer size, made an interesting discovery. Max’s owners were French and, one day, he had decided to pay a visit to the now-deserted French embassy where he used to live. It was a very beautiful building indeed, and even though the place was covered in dust, the memories of his life there came flooding back as he passed from room to room.  When the time came to leave, Max, who was rather vain, thought he’d take a final look at himself in the big mirror in the hallway. With no-one about, Max struck a variety of poses in the mirror and was very happy with what he saw. He thought he’d just admire himself for one last time when, in a corner of the mirror, he spotted the reflection of a photo which looked strangely familiar to him. Turning around, he approached what seemed to be a book with his photo on it along with a lot of official-looking stamps, each with a date on them. The pages inside were all creased and something must have happened to the ink because he could only make out a few words. Max could just about make out the word cat and then there were some words ending in stan and some in sh but the rest was just a mess!

Well! thought Max who had by now given up trying to make any more sense from the writing, I suppose we could call this new country of ours, Cattishtan and we’ll be the Cattishtanis! Max liked the sound of this new name, and, as he looked at a photo of his beloved daughter on the second page of the book, he thought of a name for her too!  But for now, it was time to get back to his job as the first President of Cattishtan!

Fast forward two years and Max’s country was ticking over rather nicely, thanks mainly to its capital, Chaki City, which Max had named in honour of his daughter, Chaki. His two sons were anything but adorable, but because he thought they looked like a couple of clowns when they were kittens, Max just called them Sniff and Shoof. But within a few years, they had grown really quite big and ugly too, so Max put them in charge of the Secret Police to keep everyone in line. It was a decision which he would later regret! You might be asking how the Cattishtanis survived without any humans to feed them? Well, it’s quite simple really. The shrewd Cattishtanis negotiated some juicy contracts with the human TV advertisers. Except that now they, and not their former human owners, were the ones who got paid for their efforts, in the form of kibbles and other treats delivered by drone by the various brands. In a nutshell, you could say life was rather good for the Cattishtanis.

However, not everyone did so well out of these juicy contracts.  The Little Poor Cats as they were called, were a subspecies of cats with tiny paws and a constant demonic sort of smile which seemed to be stuck to their faces.  They never got a single kibble from all the advertising that the Cattishtanis did on TV, but instead were forced to do all the work that the Cattishtanis couldn’t be bothered to do themselves. The best job that they could hope for was to wait on the rich Cattishtanis at the top restaurant in Chaki City, the Golden Dumpling but usually they would find themselves stuck with less pleasant chores like changing the litter boxes of wealthy Cattishtanis! There were even certain Little Poor Cats who were forced to spend their day endlessly chasing a bauble on the end of a string round and round to provide the air-conditioning for a huge luxury basket belonging to a very rich Cattishtani! And you haven’t heard the worst of it yet! Some really unlucky Little Poor Cats were even forced to perform as freaks in circuses and zoos!

So, it was certainly no fun being a Little Poor Cat in Cattishtan. Worse still, most of the Little Poor Cats were constantly drugged with a type of domestic cleaning fluid, which the humans used to use to clean their homes and which made their eyes purple, preventing them from seeing properly at night.

Obviously, all this domestic cleaner made them very thirsty but even then, they were strictly forbidden from drinking the fresh water which spewed from the many fountains dotted around Chaki City. These were only for the Cattishtanis to use. Instead, they would have to make do with drinking the waste water that occasionally flowed down the street gutters!

Thankfully, there was one Cattishtani who felt sorry for the Little Poor Cats and that was Chaki. For the Little Poor Cats, she was truly a source of hope, because, as the daughter of President Max, she had become highly respected in Cattishtan, thanks to her glittering career. And a very successful Cattishtani Chaki was too! For not only was she one of the best players of Baubles that Cattishtan had ever known, but she was also a lawyer and had her sights set on a singing career too. Baubles was a hugely popular sport which was played with bouncy baubles, often left over from all the Christmases gone by, but also with anything that was round and rolled along. It was a kind of a mixture of football and handball, except that you would have up to a hundred Cattishtanis in each team and there were almost no rules, so it was often a complete free-for-all which sometimes ended up in a full-scale riot! But having won just about everything there was to win in this sport as a player, Chaki was now coach of the national team.

However, the Cattishtanis and the Little Poor Cats were not the only inhabitants of this small country. On the banks of the river that formed the border of Cattishtan and which snaked away towards the mountains and beyond, lived a very old acquaintance of Max; the Fishing Cat. He had been there for so many years that no one knew his name, so he was just called the Fishing Cat. The Fishing Cat had some strange powers because, just by looking into the water, he could predict the future. That would prove to be quite handy because, at present, the future of Cattishtan looked quite uncertain, especially as Max was now rather old and no longer the mighty Cattishtani that he once was.  Worse still, Chaki suspected that her two twin brothers, Shoof and Sniff, were plotting to seize power once their father had passed away. Fearing the worst, Chaki thought it best to warn the Fishing Cat. So, one day, when most of the Cattishtanis, including her brothers, were fast asleep after their daily lunch at the Golden Dumpling, Chaki decided to go and see the Fishing Cat. Naturally, the Fishing Cat was very concerned about what Chaki had to say. So, when Chaki’s back was turned, he tip-toed up to the river bank and peered into the water beneath. What he saw almost made him fall into the river itself! It was at this moment, having seen images in the water of Chaki’s two brothers moving into the Presidential Palace in Chaki City, that the Fishing Cat realised that he really had to do something to help Chaki.

To make matters worse, Chaki feared that if Shoof and Sniff were to seize power, things would become a lot more unpleasant for everyone, and especially for the Little Poor Cats.

The tenth anniversary of the founding of Cattishtan was approaching and the brothers were looking for an idea of how to celebrate the occasion. So now, thought Chaki and the Fishing Cat, was the time for them to hatch a plan to help the Little Poor Cats escape. And this is what they did!

Chaki’s big idea was to convince her brothers, who were currently the head and deputy head of the Secret Police, to give their permission for a charity bauble match between a Cattishtani team and another made up of Little Poor Cats. This had never been seen in Chaki City before and Chaki’s brothers, Shoof and Sniff, thought it might be quite hilarious because the world-class Cattishtani players would surely crush the Little Poor Cats. So, to give them a chance, the brothers told Chaki that she could be their coach for the match. It wouldn’t be too much of a gamble, they thought, because even a top coach like Chaki wouldn’t be good enough for these pitiful little creatures to win. What’s more, it would be good to see their sister on the losing side for once!!

The game was scheduled for the evening because, in the middle of summer, it was just too hot to do anything in Chaki City before the sun went down. The national stadium, officially known as the Baubles Stadium, was filled to capacity with Cattishtanis all comfortably seated in their baskets and all waving the national flag, which was completely black with a white paw in the middle. It was a place Chaki knew very well, having won match after match there when she was captain of her baubles club. But managing a team of Little Poor Cats who were so much smaller than their Cattishtani opponents, and who, under the powerful spotlights of the Baubles Stadium would have a hard time seeing each other let alone the bauble, was going to be a huge challenge. And sure enough, the first half of the match was a complete disaster for the Little Poor Cats who, after only ten minutes, were sixteen goals down!! But the thousands of Cattishtani fans who were already dancing in their baskets with delight at the score could not have imagined what was about to happen after the half-time break. For Chaki, however, the break couldn’t have come soon enough because she knew that the thousands of Cattishtanis wouldn’t be celebrating for long if her plan worked! So, it was when all one hundred of the Little Poor Cats were assembled in the changing rooms that she announced her plan. Naturally, the Little Poor Cats couldn’t believe their little ears, but were, of course, delighted to hear that Chaki was about to give them the chance to start a new life! As soon as she had explained everything, Chaki gave the biggest of the Little Poor Cats, a certain Vlad, a little map with the directions on how to meet up with their contact - the Fishing Cat! She also gave every Little Poor Cat a travel permit which she had got the Minister for Culture, Plume, to draw up in case there were any Cattishtani secret police checkpoints. She then handed over to Vlad the keys to the stadium’s emergency exit doors, then tossed an old bottle of bleach on the floor to make it look like she had been drugged before locking herself in one of the lockers.

By now, the half-time break was over and the Cattishtani team, who were itching to score even more goals, had emerged from the tunnel that led to the changing rooms. But there was no sign of the Little Poor Cats. As the minutes ticked by, so the fans in the stadium became more and more impatient. Fearing a pitch invasion, the referee, Snowball, who was also the Minister for Sport of Cattishtan and who was anything but sporty, judging by his physical appearance, asked the Cattishtani players if they had seen the Little Poor Cats in their locker rooms. The minutes passed, and Snowball, who by now was looking visibly uncomfortable, glanced up at the Presidential box.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have done, because Max had a look of thunder about him, and his two sons, Shoof and Sniff, looked even angrier.

Fearing what might happen next, Snowball rushed into the tunnel towards the changing rooms, which he found to be completely empty. He was all the more horrified when, after hearing a series of desperate meows which seemed to be coming from the corner of the room, he opened one of the lockers to find Chaki cooped up inside and looking in a very bad way. Relieved, however, to have been found, Chaki could hardly get her words out, but when Snowball saw the empty bleach bottle on the floor, he realised what must have happened to her. After a short pause to catch his breath, Snowball summoned up all his courage, even though he was scared to death, to climb up the stands to the Presidential box and give Max some very bad news indeed!

The shock was too much for Max who, already not in the best of health, fainted upon learning of the fate of his beloved daughter, Chaki. Not so for Sniff and Shoof, who had quickly put two and two together and figured out what must have happened.  After giving Snowball an earful, they seized the stadium microphone and announced that the match had been abandoned and that the borders of Cattishtan were now closed following a serious incident! Meanwhile, Chaki was wondering how she was going to explain the events to her brothers because she knew they probably wouldn’t swallow her story.

The waters of the river where the Fishing Cat lived had magical powers that only the Fishing Cat was able to use but which had protected him throughout his life. The Fishing Cat liked Max a lot because he paid him generously in kibbles in return for the fish that the Fishing Cat delivered to the finest restaurants in Chaki City, including, of course, the Golden Dumpling. Lately, however, with Max’s health declining, Chaki’s brothers had started poking their greedy snouts into the Fishing Cat’s affairs and were now asking for more and more fish in return for fewer and fewer kibbles. Naturally, the Fishing Cat thought this was all rather unfair, but the trouble was that the ailing Max was less and less able to help out his old friend, the Fishing Cat.

So, the Fishing Cat thought that the time had come to sort these brothers out and that was why he was more than happy to help the Little Poor Cats with their escape. They might even become future new customers for his fish, he thought. But for their plan to work, the Little Poor Cats would have to be very careful about how they made their way to the river, and so he told Chaki to tell them that as soon as they got close to it, they were to hide in the undergrowth and wait for three big

splashes. This would be the signal to approach the river bank from where the Fishing Cat would be able to escort them safely along the river towards the mountains.

Meanwhile, the Little Poor Cats had found it quite easy to leave Chaki City, probably because most of the Cattishtani border police had gone to the stadium to watch the much talked about bauble match!

All that the Little Poor Cats now had to do was to link up with the Fishing Cat. Fortunately, everything went smoothly and after