Moonie World V

By Robert E. Bob

Reader, you are holding the second of the Wonderful Moonie World EPICS, in which a Moonie Mission is sent to rescue a young newly-orphaned boy. Naturally, as is the nature of epics, this takes an entire book, which is a good thing, because there's so much more of it, meaning, your pleasure time is extended and this is what you are after, right?

• Language: English
• Publisher: CMD
• Release date: Oct 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781952046971

Robert E. Bob

Robert E Bob is a recluse and hard to pin down, but thankfully he has the help of his trusty assistant Princess Lubachenka to help with these stories.

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Copyright © 2020 by Robert E. Bob

All right reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodies in critical article and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The reviews expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

© Robert E. Bob 2020.

Language warning.

Dear parent, adult or younger reader; this book contains the odd word, words or ideas which in some context’s may be offensive.

My apologies for any offence taken, but hopefully in this context it is not.

Be mindful; if any offence does occur, be sure that it is your own, and if so, we humply apologise; they’re just stories.

However, if your offence occurs on behalf of someone else; two things;

-firstly, best to check with them first to see if it was valid, and if so, we apologise to them as well, but advise that if they are likely to take offence, choose not to read it;

-secondly, this may not really be offence; or it might be offence by proxy, or proxy-offence, or assumed offence, or some term we’re not aware of.

For the sake of clarity, we’ll call it A fence.

This means that if you take a fence at something on behalf of someone else who might not even be offended, you are a fence taker. Never mind; can’t be helped.

…

Unless we build stronger fences or you quit bothering.

The book also contains instances of violence and substance abuse, so get ready y’all for that as well.

We recommend this book is read by adults to children.

…

Actually; there’s an interesting thing about ‘outrage’…

Best not RB. Get on with it now and stop trying to be obtuse. You are not even into story. Yept.

In loving memory of Bob.

Contents

Boof; other cheek and all that.

Brownies, burgers and pies.

The Weef-ella Principle

Meeting of the Lost Boys

Sparky makes a confession

Angelsea Park

We are here to help.

Seen at the scene of the crime.

A very serious matter.

Everyone has an interesting story to tell

A secret for Bright Kneebone

Farewells

It’s a wrap

Glossary.

Neuroscientists really do not know where ‘in’ the neurons, thoughts are encoded. Nor do they know if they are ‘in’ individual neurons (highly unlikely), or in the connections between the neurons, or distributed throughout the brain. This mystery of the mind remains unsolved.

Norman Doidge; The Brain’s Way of Healing

Boof; other cheek and all that.

Well hello there. Fancy meeting you here; in a kid’s book. What was your name again?

…

Nice one. Have we met?

Let me guess; a Reader, right? What ho! Jolly good show. That’s pretty handy then, because I am a writer.

We, that’s myself and my trusty colleague in fictional construction, Princess Lubachenka of Russia; we write stories; well, fairy tales actually, because our protagonist-slash heroes are fairies; moon fairies actually. A breed of space fairie. Yup.

Really; well, figmentally.

But that doesn’t make you a sissy. Heck all sorts of people read fairy tales. It is quite de rigeur these days.

That’s French for cool bananas.

Let me introduce myself; I am Robert E. Bob. You might have heard of me; ahem.

No; blimmin heck; oh well.

Boof; other cheek and all that.

That’s OK. Heh, heh.

…

So I’m guessing this is your first Moonie book, huh? Well you sure picked out a doozy to start with. Usually we would encourage our readers to start off with one of the earlier collections, more specifically the first, but it is entirely up to you. Carry on if you must.

This here one is number five in the series by the way. It says so on the cover. So if you read on there’s a fair bit you’ve missed out on. Obviously we will encourage you to read all the others as well; naturally you will be itching to by the time you get to the back end of this prickly old pear.

And please don’t take this as a sales pitch; like I want you to buy the other books, but you will have to get hold of them somehow; it’s part of the process, and I just don’t want you to miss out on anything. There is a bit of order to how it all unfolds if you know what I mean.

I hope you understand something about my annoying habit of pestering my readers to stay in order. Sorry about that as well.

I mean; not being arrogant; and if you think that was arrogance you were mistaken. I have been accused of it before; once; so I know when it was correctly pointed out.

So what makes a story a fairy tale? I’m sure this has been asked before; I didn’t read it if it was; so let’s work it out here. It’s an important issue in my view; what makes a fairy tale?

Princess Lubachenka and myself purport to be in the, ahem, so-called, business; we write fairy tales; or so we say. Let me see if I can explain it properlally.

(don’t you get annoyed when your author insists on acting as if they have to teach you everything as you go along, as if they think you need everything explained; even the obvious stuff; don’t you?)

(Hmm; I have been accused of that. It is actually Princess Lubachenka who points it out.)

Let me get back on track, even if it is a bit of a rant; I am still trying to set out some context of understanding what makes a fairie-tale.

Mystique, magic and the unknown; strange possibilities of other realities that are a hallmark of the genre; combine in the young imagination, and create the potential for otherness.

Do you know what I mean by otherness, Reader? Our imaginations make allowance for otherness.

That is something everyone understands at some level.

But the epics are a class of their own, I believe; for they need to keep the reader in that magical world for so long; more of an immersion.

Let me right here state my admiration in particular for the following, because they were the ones with me through my explorations of fairy tale epics in my early years; Lewis Carroll, C. S. Lewis, and Tove Jannsen; Tolkein and Peake in later years.

This is really raving now Reader, so I should apologise but I won’t. And if there are any of these authors you have not read, please do.

I give you this solemn pledge;

- with your help; your imagination dear Reader, the name, Robert E. Bob will appear at some stage in the future, alongside those Masters of childrens’ and adult fairy tales. Perhaps not in the same revered tones, but he will be there. And that is not being arrogant either.

That is called self-belief.

You might say, ‘you are dreaming Robert E. Bob’; and I would say, ‘oh how fabulous that you care enough to respond; welcome, welcome. Now then; what shall we talk about?’

And I would then say; ‘dreaming, well of course I am dreaming; what; are you telling me the obvious now?’

But; I shall dream away; as I say and have always said to my assistant, even if she is hard to pin down and jolly particular; Princess;

- I say, Princess; when we have completed this body of work, we shall be sat among the greats of children’s fairy tales for adults.

…

It has to be said; she does not quite bear the same wild enthusiasm, and what-might-be-mistaken-for arrogance in her demeanour; her being of the more reserved and tactiturn type. She is Russian.

Where is she by the way? I imagine she will join us shortly.

… (you can imagine I am turning my head this way and that)

She will be here anon.

…

As I say; these are stories to be read by adults to children, and this itself is probably the most important aspect of the fairy tale. It is a shared experience; taking reader and child on an otherworldly journey, with some sort of moralistic thread as an undercurrent.

This is our mission; her and I; the Russian Princess and the your’s truly, whack-job, Robert E. Bob. In this guise and under our shared mission, our Moonies will see the light of day and are allowed to do their thing. This is necessary.

Nice that we can share that.

We are now past the point at which I go; this is where Princess Lubachenka will pull the plug on the rave.

…

Good luck with that.

… Ahem.

Princess?

…

She is here; just being a little unreliable; I think she was actually making sure all the plugs and connections and switches and microphones and speakers and stuff are all sorted out.

…

Princess; will you