Don't Drink the Bathroom Water: A Guide to Living In Ireland

By Robin Castle

Think you know the real Ireland?

The Ireland of portrayed in film and on television is not the real Ireland, much the way bologna is not real meat. Sure, people are friendly and there are gingers aplenty, but life in Ireland is modern, evolving, and influenced by technology, the Internet, and

• Language: English
• Publisher: Qoros Books
• Release date: Jun 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734961713

Robin Castle

Robin Castle has survived landslides, hurricanes, tornadoes, and a close call with an alligator. Castle resides in Ireland, where she contemplates murder... for her next mystery novel. Sign up for her newsletter at https://robincastle.net to see what she does next.

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Introduction

Ireland feels familiar for many people, because they have seen Ireland and Irish people portrayed in films or on television. Additionally, people around the world celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and wear green and sure, that’s Irish!

Or is it?

The first surprise might be that the Ireland of lore, the mythological Ireland portrayed in film and on television is not the real Ireland, much the way bologna is not real meat. Sure, people are friendly and there are gingers aplenty, but life in Ireland is modern, evolving, and influenced by technology, the Internet, and the contributions of immigrants, just like everywhere else in the world. The ability to change quickly is one of Ireland’s many superpowers, but even Superman had his kryptonite. For Ireland, that would be the high cost of living, shortage of hospitals, and in County Dublin, a severe lack of housing and rising homelessness. Ireland is not perfect, but she is amazing.

The island comprises two separate countries: the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Though their names sound similar, there are many important differences, the main one being that Northern Ireland is smaller and part of the United Kingdom, which means they measure stuff in feet and miles and use the British Pound Sterling as their currency. That is Northern Ireland.

The Republic of Ireland is larger and not in any way part of the United Kingdom. The Republic of Ireland, typically referred to as Ireland, uses the metric system for measurement and the currency is the Euro. Should you need to distinguish between the two countries in conversation, you would specify either The Republic or Northern Ireland. There is a fraught history, full of love, hate, and conflict between The Republic and Northern Ireland, but neither would exclude the other from Christmas.

The Republic and Northern Ireland share sports leagues, with games played in both countries and during the Covid-19 pandemic, doctors helped people seamlessly both in the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Many have relatives that live across the border. There is a close relationship and open border between the two nations.

A trickier relationship is the one between Ireland and the United Kingdom (UK). On the one hand, the UK is a top trade partner with Ireland and a healthy source of tourism. Some Irish people commute to the UK for work. Yet the relationship is clouded by past historical mistreatment of Ireland by the United Kingdom. Don’t mistake the Republic of Ireland as a part of Britain or the UK.

The Republic of Ireland (Ireland) is a part of the European Union (EU), which is where the cool kids in Europe hang out to make trade deals and eat fancy cheese.

English is the official language of Ireland, but it’s not like any English spoken elsewhere. The dialect of English spoken in Ireland is called Hiberno English and it’s full of idioms and idiosyncrasies and word play. The Irish have a great sense of humour, enjoy the craic (having a good time), and feel as fiercely proud of their country and culture as you do about your country. Let’s explore some of that, shall we?

One

Don’t Drink The Bathroom Water

Obviously, you have excellent taste because you have taken an interest in one of the most beautiful, unspoiled countries on earth. In Ireland, a drive in any direction will quickly lead you to rolling lush green hills, rivers, gardens, plant life of all varieties (even palm trees!), the sea, and an obscure pond known as the Atlantic. Ireland has become a modern country embracing all mod cons (modern conveniences) without losing her identity, her culture, her heritage. That is what makes Ireland distinct. No big box stores, only a handful of drive-throughs, and a real preference for local produce and locally made goods have kept Ireland Irish.

Many items which are advertised in other countries as being Irish, such as Irish spring soap, corned beef and cabbage, and green beer are no more Irish than French fries are French. Celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day in Ireland is a quiet family affair, marked by a parade in City Center.

What is truly Irish? Meals with three different potato dishes, a joint that won’t get you high, and Guinness (on tap ONLY). Roads designed for medieval carts and not since updated, disdain for bragging, the immersion, a widespread love of reading, and a cultural flexibility which allows Ireland to make massive social changes in one generation where other nations stumble: that is the real Ireland. Ireland is more than a beauty. She’s smart too. And so are you for being interested in her.

But first, a bit of history. Don’t worry, it’s only a paragraph. There was no widespread access to electricity in Ireland until fifty years ago and every Irish person over forty grew up without a phone in their home and or even in their village. Yet today, Google, Microsoft, LinkedIn, Facebook and all the other tech giants have large operations on Irish soil. Ireland is fast on its feet. These people don’t live in the past and thankfully so. They’ve had enough Troubles.

About the title, please, Don’t Drink the Bathroom Water. Don’t. Water in Ireland is handled differently than other places. In Ireland, often only the kitchen sink that is connected to the main water supply (the municipal or public water system). The other sinks, in bathrooms or utility rooms, aren’t connected to what is called in Ireland the mains or mains water.

The water is brought by fairies.

These water-bringing fairies live beneath the house and are mostly quiet, except during rain showers when they kick up a terrible ruckus collecting, you guessed it, rain, which they deposit into a holding tank in the attic of the house, to be distributed to those sinks without mains water supply.

It sounds mad, but it’s true. Well, the water tank. Not the fairies part. Fairies in Ireland are mean and vindictive and you certainly wouldn’t want them collecting your water.

There are holding tanks, called cisterns, in attics throughout Ireland. Mains water from the public water supply pipes sits in the tanks. These tanks can either be covered or uncovered. When you flush the toilet or turn on the tap to wash your hands or brush your teeth, the water comes from the cistern in the attic. The Irish wouldn’t think of drinking water from anywhere but the kitchen where the water comes fresh from the public water supply.

When my family and I first arrived in Ireland years ago, we were not informed about the source of bathroom water.

We drank the bathroom water.

It’s hard to imagine now, but we filled our water bottles with bathroom water. Chugged it down without a care.