Looking-Glass Lies

By Catherine Fenquist

To finish her training in magic, all 13-year old Alice Inkling has to do is leave her home of Wonderland and lend her mystical talents to an Earther community. With Coral Meadows as her chosen city and private investigator as her chosen role there, Alice is more than ready to shine among these silly Earthers. None of Earth’s ridiculous rul

• Language: English
• Publisher: Catherine Fenquist
• Release date: Mar 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9780578670522

Book preview

Chapter 1: Arrival

When Alice came to Earth, she did not arrive like the other witches did.

Many witches started out their time among the Earthers by finding a crack in the ground and crawling out of it, dirty and struggling, while others used lakes or ponds to begin soaked and disoriented. Some daring ones came flying, scorched, from firepits, and a few even stumbled from mirrors.

As for Alice, she dropped from the sky. The path to the ground from the hole in the sky was a vortex of clouds, furious with wind and webbed with brilliant yellow lightning. With such a friendly welcome, it was no wonder she was grinning all the way down.

She landed on her toes. The clouds all drifted apart immediately, but the wind took longer to release her, rustling her cloak and gusting across all the grass and shrubs before it properly departed. The grass and shrubs were living on hills, some sharp and some gently rolling.

She was not far from her destination - she could see the city from here, in fact, beyond one of the sudden drops of the hills. Alice’s aim had been good. This was not exactly shocking, but Alice chose to see it as a sign of good things to come.

Bouncing on her feet, Alice began to walk towards the city called Coral Meadows, in search of a man who wanted nothing less than for her to find him.

In every collection of people all across the world, there is one person with a secret job. Almost always, they also have an extra, not-secret job, because the secret one doesn’t pay especially well.

These people have called themselves many things over their time, but their original name has stuck. Probably this is because it’s the simplest, or maybe it’s only because those who named them don’t see any reason to call them anything else.

These people with the secret jobs are called The Knowers, because the secret job is to Know. They Know the thing that most of us have forgotten, or that we refuse to acknowledge. A very long time ago, they even reminded us of it from time to time, but now they mostly only tell those of authority in their particular community.

In one of those collections of people, one Knower was shuffling up and down the hall to his boss’s office. His name was Joseph Slatts, and he was hoping vaguely that waiting would somehow make the whole business less terrible as he completed his slow circuits. Knowers did not choose to be such – the Knowledge just sang in their brain, true and pure and undeniable by even the best psychiatrist. Joseph had tried every reasonable method he could think of (which was not that many, really) to try and shut up that song of Knowledge, but now here he was, thinking that if there was such a thing as an Unknower, he would have been that, instead.

There was not, though, and therefore he was not, and instead he was knocking on his boss’s door, stepping in, explaining the situation.

Joseph Slatts was a tall, soft man who tried to carry himself as if he were neither of these, with muddled hair that was probably grey and eyes that were somehow dingy, as if he planned to shine them up when he thought someone might look into them.

His boss did end up peeking in towards his face with a frown, eventually, as Joseph Slatts haltingly spilled his news, but the boss knew that Joseph was not whimsical enough to make up something so fantastic. Anyway, Joseph Slatts had his job for a reason, and it seemed that the reason was upon them.

I see, the boss said finally. Well, welcome her, then. I’ll let Mayor Buxley know as soon as she comes back from her vacation.

Oh…are you…sure, sir? This is – ahem – you have the authority to, erm, turn her away, if you’re concerned…

No, no, nothing to be concerned about, is there? He sipped his coffee briskly. This sort of thing happens all the time, eh? If other cities can manage, we certainly can too. Just make sure she won’t be disruptive. Go on, then.

He nodded to the door, and though Joseph Slatts was not convinced the boss was fully comprehending just how grave the situation was, he wandered morosely back to his own office and waited. Just as Joseph Knew of their new guest, their guest would Know of him.

He waited in his pictureless room, fiddling with his fingernails. He considered clenching and unclenching his fists, but tried it once, and found it made his tendons ache, and proceeded with twiddling with his fingernails again. Shuffling papers off to their proper departments and sorting emails was just so much more rewarding than…having to really do something. He rearranged some paperclips and sent them flying from his desk when the knock came at the door.

Come in! He called, hoping the door would disguise the crack in his voice. He battled his tallness again, so the wide window at his back framed him in light, and he waited, and the doorknob turned.

The door opened, and Joseph Slatts held his breath, and in stepped…

…a small girl.

The girl could have at least tried to appear as though she fit in, Joseph Slatts thought with sinking shoulders, but in all fairness, it probably wouldn’t have helped much.

The girl’s short hair looked like it was trying to be a nice, average dark color, but instead of black or brown, it had only managed something purplish. Her skin was shockingly pale, and her eyes might generously be called brown, or less generously amber, or honestly yellow. The boots, cloak, and gloves she wore were leathery and oversized, and though her hat was just as leathery, it was so large on the child that even ‘oversized’ didn’t do it justice. Also, it seemed rather stomped on, so the tall point flopped over to one side.

Hello, sir, the girl announced, with her shoulders back and head held high.

Hello, he said warily. The girl waited, and Joseph Slatts remembered the rules, and introduced himself first.

I’m Alice Inkling, she said cheerily, with a quick and polite curtsey, and I’ve come to Serve your town as a witch.

Joseph Slatts smiled, not quite as politely. Yes. He coughed. Yes, well, you would be the first witch in Coral Meadows, you know.

I do know that, sir, she said brightly.

Ah. Well, good, then… His fingers fluttered at the edges of the desk. Well, Miss Inkling, what – what are you planning to…that is, you’ll be Serving as…?

I’ll be a private investigator, sir. According to your records, Coral Meadows doesn’t have any others right now.

Joseph Slatts nodded. So he couldn’t refuse her on the claim that the need was already filled, then. Our city doesn’t get a lot of crime, he tried.

Oh, that’s true, but an awful lot of your cases are left unsolved, the little girl chirped away.

Don’t you worry that it will be dangerous?

Alice only raised her eyebrows at him. I think I’m prepared pretty well for that. Sir.

Right…well… Joseph drew himself up suddenly. Did you come alone? Without supervision?

We always do… Sir.

Ah, yes - yes, well, you see, here in Coral Meadows, documentation is very important – and rules – and in order to run your own business here, you’d need to be an adult, or have one doing business with you. He smiled again, and this time it was a tidy thing of victory.

Alice stood quite still. What this sallow office-man had failed to realize was that Alice actually had given great care to her appearance. Her fluffy hair had been tucked as best it could into her hat, and she wore a common dress, as girls were known to do, and she had even chosen yellow for it, to fight the depiction of a warty woman in black she had seen in her studies. It was just good sense to wear sturdy boot and gloves, and there was nothing to be done about the shape of the hat – it was a representation of who she was.

What the Knower also did not know was that Alice was from the Kingdom of Little, so named to reflect the size of its denizens. So when Joseph Slatts continued eagerly, You do seem awfully young for spending your Serve in such a difficult position, thinking that she was nine or maybe ten, Alice was not ruffled any further. Alice knew how young she appeared to be, after all, when she was actually quite firmly thirteen. To be perfectly fair, that was still young to begin her Serve, but Alice hadn’t graduated early for no reason.

So she was bubbly when she laughed. "You’re so kind, sir! And my teachers told me that some people would be unfriendly, so I’m very glad that you’re so concerned for me. I didn’t know about that rule, about needing an adult, in this city. They would never have such a silly rule back home. So, no, I don’t have my own adult, and I don’t know where to find one."

This man, this Earther, this Joseph Slatts, was trying to impede her, and acting as if she would never realize. As if a witch on her Serve might not know every rule Knowers were bound by. So Alice hid her relish and satisfaction when she continued, in her most innocent voice, with the magic words: Since I have no adult of my own, I will need to be provided with one. And her polite smile remained politely in place when Joseph Slatts’ little color drained from his face.

Should a witch require an additional mundane resource upon arrival, read the rule, the Knower shall provide this resource, within reasonable limits, if requested. Just like they knew of magic, the Knowers knew this rule, deep in their heart and bones.

Well – yes, then, he mumbled. I…er… Joseph Slatts didn’t know many people well enough to ask them for favors, but that would not be enough to clear Joseph Slatts from his responsibility. Oh! Actually – I know just the person.

Alice didn’t bother listening in while Joseph Slatts fiddled with an Earther gadget on his desk and began speaking into it (hardly worth her attention if he wasn’t trying to be secretive), and instead peered around the room. The carpet was flat and starchy under her boots, and the walls were lazy sludge color. For a Knower, somehow it all seemed very drab and boring. Perhaps that was just because it was Earth. Witches and wizards who had performed their Serve often complained that things were too brown and dull here. They said those things to the Queen, though, so Alice had rather thought it was mostly to please her.

Your adult is on her way, Joseph Slatts said as he sunk again into his chair.

Thank you, sir.

You’ll also need a building to operate from, he said weakly, as if even he were unconvinced of his challenge. I can’t provide you that.

Oh, that’s alright, Alice said as her grin unrestrained itself. I’ve brought my own building.

Chapter 2: Alice Makes Friends

Corinne The Intern hung up her phone and stared at it with foreboding. Her ‘boss’ almost never actually used the phone and he had sounded like he was about to be violently ill.

Still, she finished her task – passing along some messages to someone else in the building – and thumped up to Mr. Slatts’ office. When he called her in, she stopped short and stared at the child standing in the office.

The little girl tilted her head at Corinne. You must be my adult.

A word alone, please, Mr. Slatts said, and the girl skipped from the room. So, um, yes, Corina-

Corinne, she corrected again, and Mr. Slatts winced.

Yes. Corinne. So, I have a, ah, a very special new assignment for you…

Out in the hall, Alice was behaving herself by not fidgeting nor eavesdropping. It was good to make a strong first impression; she would be less likely to be suspected of eavesdropping when she did it later. It was tempting, though, to find out how this grumpy Knower broke the news about magic to Alice’s adult.

A little charm of beads and something that may have been an opal hung from the doorknob and dotted the door with tiny rainbows. Alice raised her eyebrows at it.

It would be very poor manners to play with the charm. Alice narrowly conquered the temptation.

It took some time for Slatts to say whatever he needed to say, and when Alice’s adult emerged again, she was wearing a squint and a frown. Shame, too, because she might have been quite nice-looking otherwise. Her hair was not quite as short as Alice’s, and rather sleeker and shinier and darker. Hazel eyes, skin the color of an avocado’s seed, slender and tall, or perhaps that was just how ladies were on Earth. Her clothes were all black and starched, but she still felt colorful, not bleached lifeless like Joseph Slatts.

You haven’t been an adult for very long, have you?

Her adult was frowning like she had some good practice at it, but she said, as stiff as her clothes, Only a few years, actually. This might not be too awful, then. So…you’re the girl I’m supposed to be…chaperoning.

Something like that.

Okay. Mr. Slatts told me I’m supposed to go with you to your…establishment.

I wouldn’t call it an establishment, really, since it hasn’t been established yet, but I suppose that’s the idea.

Lead the way, then.

Alice did not have as much frowning practice as her adult, and only pursed her lips. She also didn’t have as much experience in this building, probably, but she led anyway, skipping as much as possible. Skipping was a common occupation of little Earth girls, and it might put the lady at ease.

Had the Knower told the lady about how introductions worked? Alice could be waiting for a long time for the lady to give her name, but going first could be impolite, as well as send the wrong message. Alice therefore asked instead, So…what did Mr. Slatts tell you about what we’re doing?

I’m supposed to escort you to your building and help you set up your business, she answered flatly.

And did he tell you why?

Just as musiclessly, she replied, Because you’re a witch.

Oh, you’re a skeptical kind of person.

I don’t like having my time wasted.

Apparently, Joseph Slatts had not told Alice’s adult to be courteous. It won’t be, Alice assured her. They had wound down to the front door of the state building now, and Alice gratefully hopped into the sun.

The day was bright, blue but fleeced with clouds brushed along by a flowery breeze. The set of her adult’s shoulders unbunched, too, along with her eyebrows and the creases at her lips. That was one of the problems with the offices that were so popular here. You couldn’t get the energy to do anything, when surrounded only with the ghosts of colors and caged air.

Alright. So I guess we have somewhere to go? Alice’s adult peered down her nose.

Oh, something like that, Alice murmured thoughtfully. This part of the city was much too grey for her, and all these squat, new buildings looked identical. Besides, Alice could tell just by looking that the soil was no good here. She tucked her gloves into her pocket and prodded a plot near her feet anyway, and frowned. What is this?

…the tanbark, you mean?

I guess I do. Alice dusted her hands on her fluffy dress and dug into one of the pockets of her cloak. It seems splintery and dangerous.

Don’t try to swim in it, and you’ll probably be okay. Alice cast the peppery seeds from her pocket onto the ‘tanbark.’ The books hadn’t mentioned that kind of ground. Hopefully they hadn’t missed much else.

What is that? Glitter?

No, Alice said cheerily, as she skipped on. Do you know a place in the city with good soil?

Uh…there are some parks..?

Great! We’ll go there.

So I’m just…taking you to the park.

That’s right. The lady squinted at her, and Alice folded her hands neatly behind her back. What would you be doing right now if you didn’t need to accompany me?

I would be… The lady’s face crumpled. You know, don’t worry about it. C’mon. Your shoes are clean, right? She cast a narrow glance at Alice, as if she hadn’t been checking for these things before.

Spotless. Alice’s skipping seemed to have done its job now, so Alice only walked after the lady, watching the hard black ground. Parts of it were painted. ‘Asphalt,’ Alice remembered from her classes. Even Alice’s seeds couldn’t grow on it. Why do you ask?

I don’t want you to get my car all gross.

Ooh, Alice murmured, earning another stare. A car, that made sense – they went with the asphalt. This world wasn’t so hard to adjust to.

Her adult’s car was blue and very shiny, and the inside smelled like something pretending to be flowers. The back was filled with tidy stacks of books and what looked like some kind of small chest. The lady unlocked the inside of the car into life, and Alice giggled a little as she watched the asphalt glide beneath them, too quickly to see much.

What?

Oh, you know, just – it’s sort of a silly way to travel.

And why is that? The lady’s voice was edgy.

Well, it goes quite fast, Alice said easily. "It’s alright for getting somewhere, I suppose, but it’s not very good for the actual going part."

I guess you get places by broom, her adult said, dry as old crackers.

That’s a way, Alice said with a nod. The woman blew her hair from her face.

Right. Park. The gliding stopped all at once and Alice mimicked her adult exiting the car.

The park was a good color, nice and green, with these big funny structures painted vibrantly red and blue. It was framed with grey, sturdy ground. Concrete, probably. Alice stepped up to the grass and poked her finger into the dirt. This isn’t the place, she announced as she straightened up and tossed some seeds down. Her adult was watching her seriously, leaning up against her car. Do you know another park? Probably without the… She pointed at the blue and red. The pipe-tangle?

Like…a field?

Yes! A field.

Yeah, I know a field, she sighed. Wipe those hands off before you touch my car.

Alice refrained from giggling this time, but there were lots of possible places that they were just passing by. Silly cars.

Still, Alice got something of a sense of the place. Coral Meadows was not much like the Earther cities she had read about – Alice spotted only one ‘skyscraper,’ and it was rather smaller than she had imagined. The place reminded her of a quilt, thrown together from leftover scraps and sewn haphazardly on, so the businesses and houses were all wound together with parks and trees and rivers, and none of the houses looked anything like the ones they were next to. The streets all seemed to work in clumps, though, where the buildings were all together bruised and dirty, and then others were all vivid and pristine. Alice’s homeland seemed to have given them inspiration, but the buildings were mostly angular and geometric, like they couldn’t think of any other good shapes for a building.

The field’s soil wasn’t better. After throwing down some seeds, Alice turned to her adult, already getting her keys out, and shook her head. We’ll need to walk from here. I need to look at more places, and we’re just skipping a whole bunch.

Okay, what are we looking for? I can probably help.

You can’t, Alice assured her. I’ll know when we get there.

The lady rolled her eyes, but followed Alice as they started across the field. From so close, the buildings did look bigger, but also old. Not the kind of old that learns from having experienced so much, but the kind of old that can barely hold itself up anymore, and that refuses to change with everything else around it.

Uh, hey. Listen, let’s go – this way. Alice’s adult caught her shoulder at a corner and turned her another direction, down a different street.

Why? Alice asked, peering back the way the lady had avoided. The street they were leaving behind was narrow, the buildings small and crammed closely together. It seemed in some way dirtier.

Alice’s adult leaned in and explained in a low voice, That’s not a good part of town. You don’t wanna go down that way. It’s not safe.

Oh. Alice accidentally giggled again. Scary, she conceded, walking down the cleaner, sunnier path. She probably wouldn’t have found what she was looking for down that way anyhow – she hadn’t seen any trees at all that way, and this way had plenty winding up through holes in the concrete, and little fenced in plots of grass in front of buildings.

"It can be scary," her adult said sharply.

Oh, you would know better than I would. Alice wondered if all Earthers were frightened by alleyways. By the way – or maybe not at all – we haven’t been introduced. I’m Alice Inkling of Little.

"Alice Inkling?"

Good, isn’t it? Alice said, bouncing just a little. I chose it myself.

Did you? Her adult almost sounded like she might laugh.

I did, Alice said proudly. That worked at least as well as skipping, and it was true, anyway. What about you?

Me? No, I didn’t pick my own name.

Oh, I’m sure it’s a good one anyway. I just wanted to know what it was.

Oh, right. Corinne Quincely.

Not as good as Alice Inkling, but not bad, after all. It’s nice to meet you, Corinne Quincely.

You too, Alice Inkling.

Is it just Corinne Quincely? It tasted like nothing when