Circle of Magic

By Chavdar Gradinarsky

A deep and true study of Qigong and Chinese tradition facts and routines helpful to health and understanding many of the mysteries of the world today. Correct positioning as to the everyday life challenges, a powerful weapon for health and self-defense.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gypsy Shadow Publishing
• Release date: Mar 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9781619504028

Chavdar Gradinarsky

Born 11 01, 1958, Varna Bulgaria 1976-graduates with distinction Varna Mathematics Secondary School 1984-Master's degree, Sofia University-Arabic, Chinese, English and International studies 1992-2011-Ministry of foreign affairs of Bulgaria 1994-Degree in Clingendal, Netherlands 1994-1997-Posting to Syria Damascus Head of Consular service 1997-1999-Head of Visa Department 1999-Degree in Protocol, India 1999-2002-Head of Consular section in Beijing 2004-2007-Political, ambassador's deputy Beijing 2009-2011-Head of consular service, political and security- Tokyo Japan April 2012-onwards Senior Consultant International markets Eurosilex Bulgaria High degree of Qigong proficiency. Excessive knowledge of martial arts. Languages: Russian, English, Arabic, Chinese, Bulgarian, considerable amount of Spanish.

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Contents

Copyright Page

Dedication

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

About the Author

Circle of Magic

by

Chavdar Gradinarsky

All rights reserved

Copyright © March 13, 2014, Chavdar Gradinarsky

Cover Art Copyright © 2014, Charlotte Holley

Gypsy Shadow Publishing, LLC.

Lockhart, TX

www.gypsyshadow.com

No part of this book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Gypsy Shadow Publishing, LLC.

ISBN: 978-1-61950-402-8

Published in the United States of America

First eBook Edition: June 1, 2014

Dedication

To Mom and Dad

1

This book is about a Chinese boxing style named Ba Guazhang, which is to say the hand of the eight symbols, the martial arts of China at large. This is a thorny subject to handle, as some thousand authors worldwide exhaust it on an annual basis—much to the surprise of the Chinese practitioners and masters who know better. Surely, opposing views will arise, and I wish to assure all readers from the beginning that it is not the intention of the author to antagonize anyone or anything.

The easiest comment to add would be that all the events and heroes described hereby are fictitious and not real, but that again could be even more baffling in effect; after all, the situations deal with magic in its practical and palpable manifestations.

Let me start from the beginning. What a non-assuming reader or viewer will be quick to notice about the books and films on martial arts and the magic involved thereby, is that everything is so unreal, effective and difficult, that it stands comfortably detached from so-called real life. He normally tends to ask, Is that really possible and could it be done—can I do it? No problem exists for the individual who accepts No as the answer. It’s for the ones who do not agree with impossibility that the problems abound.

This treatise is not about all of China, it is about Beijing only. The one I call the teacher is a composite picture of at least three masters—fate so graciously pushed me into their ways.

When summer claims Beijing and cicadas start screeching for hours on end, a Westerner might enter a pub to drink beer and exchange views on hot, hotter and hottest places on earth. The tables around him are occupied by lax local girls who resemble lionesses in their certainty that prey is nearby. After reading the guides about China, in the moments between sobriety and sleep, the visitor realizes that there are places and situations on this planet where good university diplomas will not make him any happier. The first opportunities to witness magic are misread, and most visitors miss the chance to enter the martial arts world with quiet and true steps. The Westerner simply falls in love.

Thus, this could be easily named a story about love. Then again, in venturing into this subject matter, we are entering a world so complex that human language cannot adequately describe it. We have overstepped answers to the question, Is that really possible and could it be done—can I do it? It’s impossible to learn that sport. Most individuals would do better to choose between bodybuilding, beating up weaklings, and maybe some courses in Chinese boxing.

Somewhere there… What was it that she told you yesterday?… Yes, I remember…

And the Westerner joins one of the hefty and expensive courses in a park, where he pays, listens, admires—and waits until the diplomas are distributed—the entire training taking no more than a few months.

The Chinese martial art has many names, and falls under different definitions. I’ll call it simply Qigong for all those who know about it—the others will find their own ways.

How did it come about?

What follows is a brief history.

It is said that one or more Indian Buddhists coming over to China brought a secretive method of training and practices meant to help them defend themselves and to increase the potency of their meditation. This is an important point, as later the discussion of relationship between Buddhism and Qigong may occur.

It is also said that over a string of historical periods and dynasties in China, a reappearing model emerges. A period of relative peace was replaced by one of continuous and bloody wars that usually ended with a new dynasty in place. What is important for a curious mind is that more often than not, strange facts will surface: small numbers will defeat great armies, especially talented advisors will bring victory to a beloved ruler against incredible odds, and so on. Then new armies come from the north and conquer a population hundreds of times bigger in numbers than the newcomers.

What is it all about? A level of technology and military training pervaded great expanses of China for long periods and created a sense of security and power that went unchallenged, until a new level came about with longer spears or greater fighting skills, or both. The genius of the Chinese endured and developed new skills surpassing those of the invaders, or joined hands with them as new rulers and pushed the might of the Middle kingdom even farther. A significant part of the genius was due to the development of Qigong, to serve more secretive and specific purposes unfamiliar to the previous masters.

Throughout the history of this great nation, the theory of the insider developed in a process vivid even today. For generations, secret professionals, chosen nobility and all the imaginable lineages of family, caste, religion and circles of friends chose to develop and keep for themselves depths of physical and mental knowledge. They never worried about the number of followers and public esteem, they cared only about perfection. That’s why the real teachers wouldn’t talk about different schools, but would rather speak of outer styles and inner ones. This inner style is the true meaning of Qigong.

It is basically an unexpected and rare event to hear the real teachers speak at all. The greatest one I ever met was pointed out to me by my teacher, and it took me some months before even beginning to discern his true nature. He was illiterate and the only thing we generally received of him was to simply point out the mistakes in our training and the true acknowledgement of some minor successes in it, as well. On several occasions, I was allowed to experience his might. There was a somewhat electrical jolt coming from that 84-year-old man, different from everything seen before and enough to convince this beginner to continue. I was in the middle of a period of greedy desire to learn—sorry it couldn’t last forever, angry I was not able to move through it quickly enough. Suffice it to say that I was committing the gravest mistakes a student can make when learning Qigong: I was in a hurry, not in control and totally lost.

Eventually, it turned into a lesson I’ll never forget. It entailed the desire to pay homage to important persons; to be true to one’s own nature; to stop practitioners from mistakes; and to shed a light on manifestations of truth, health, genius and achievement.

A story is often told in that part of the world of a great master, who, approaching a river, saw an old man entering it with a great load on his shoulders and reemerging successfully at the other bank, easily stepping through waters of great turbulence. When the master asked how such a feat could be accomplished, the old man said simply that he had used an incoming path to enter, an inner one to go through and an outgoing stretch to get out, not paying attention to the load, since otherwise it was really impossible to do.

That’s the true way through Qigong, be warned and prepared!

Winter descended suddenly on Beijing. The parks turned gloomy and empty again. Great winds blew from the north, flying over the black mountains, heavy with memories of glory and blood, looking through the passes of the Great Wall for traces and shadows of warriors long dead. The memories are so dense and heavy there, like secretive teachings or really anything of importance. They tend to breed uncertainty and fears of forgetting the essential steps, making the wrong decisions and losing the part of eternity that fate had given us in the form of our present life. Touching on the same things that I’m so clumsily humble about, the wind is looking for ways to disperse the sadness about the past and find less futile means to pay homage to the great ones before and the teachers that we are blessed with now.

The student is sad to lose the sight of the beloved teacher, but then again he himself in his time was part of a tradition that would not acknowledge grief at all. Then the masses of air travel south and hit the big city, not the least disturbed by meeting sashes to guard the noses of the delicate ladies dreaming of a Westerner for a husband, or the squinted eyes of the others trying to evade and even ignore their presence. The gingko trees are no more clothed in gold and the poplars are putting up only a show of resistance, like a moral man faced with realities in some ministries of small countries where servants are paid not to notice or care at all. I know one would be well-advised to stay home in such weather. The local radio and TV stations will tell you to put on everything in your wardrobe, if pressed to go out anyway.

In such circumstances, fate chooses to open the gates of the magic or the true reality of Qigong. Stories of the distant past collide with the unconscious attempts of new students to find the path and give some meaning to life itself. It was exactly in such circumstances that I met mine.

Old people say when you deserve a teacher you will meet one, and when that happens you are sure to recognize him. Again, the idea is that in the direction we are talking about, there are many ways, but no gate to enter. The aggregate notion could be so complex and uncertain, bordering on things unfathomable and unpractical. I guess all of it is true, except for the practicality. One could do it and set foot on the true way.

Go slowly, one step at a time and be prepared for failures and even more for the successes in store. Don’t expect the latter ones to be easier at all.

No step further seems possible without dipping into the notions of teacher, student, practice, routine and communication.

There are aspects of civilization and progress that have passed, unnoticed by generations of intelligent people for a long time. As a diplomat once said, after cursing his boss, It’s not about the good traits of your character that I’d like to tell you something today! Accordingly, we are not to mention the positive things in progress and history, but rather the important ones.

If you are a student of Qigong, you dedicate your life to truth: looking for it, learning about it and managing it to your advantage. When shoes are used as a means of progress, the body loses a lot of opportunities to develop and grow stronger. Accordingly, substitutes were found, to give advantage to the weakling over the stronger person. Organizational and community forms and systems developed, which brought positive advantages, but also mitigated the truth and oppressed the ones that deserved better. Then hypocrisy emerged and said to the deserving ones, We know you are right, but under the present circumstances… and because we are pressed by the necessity bla-bla-bla-bla—for several thousand years—it’s not perfect, but for the time being there is really nothing better than… democracy… or anything else for that matter, regardless of whether it bombs a peaceful nation or desecrates a heavenly religion like Islam.

I would insist here that no mistake is made. This is a book about Qigong and not about human stupidity and depravation. But for anyone who needs to be ushered in, it is absolutely imperative to learn that truth is all there is to be done and followed if one is to get anywhere near the real accomplishments. What was mentioned above was for the sole purpose of indicating how real qualities were lost and why the Wushu and Qigong of the former ages were pushed toward extinction. Under such conditions, it might be easier to understand the past and even grow more receptive to the secrets of Qi.

And again. The depravation of truth was good for some; it brought advantages, gave them power over the worthy, and even enabled some to place their heirs in some ministries to work. What is of greater interest for us is that Qigong has been paying the price all along, while remaining what it used to be. That’s how it went on existing in truth, through it all. Remember that no progress is possible in it without adherence to truth. And truth is not about multiplying 3 by 4. It’s about looking deep inside everything around you and then inside yourself, too.

It is said that one of the things a human soul does and should be sorry about, is to meet a teacher and not follow him. This not only implies that one came to be worthy of a real teacher and actually did meet him, but moreover he had already mastered the available amount of knowledge and grown enough so that further progress along the path was actually necessary and possible. Do not hasten! This is not math, where once you learned the previous lessons the one at hand would be only a matter of careful reading, comparing and a little bit of memorizing. We are not teaching you here how to succeed as a civil servant in a small European state. We are talking about truth. You don’t think that this concerns you in the least? Think twice!

What a practitioner will always find in any book available on martial arts are diagrams, pictures of old men, pretenses, prices and even feats of glory and detailed descriptions of what they looked like or seemed to be. You’d read that there were some tricks; secretive methods of breathing and so on. Some books even go further, admitting that without those secret things, no real results were possible. Well, let’s be reasonable, actually they rarely admit that. Most of the time, they just say that those methods are important and present somewhere, usually in a mountain. Well, I do agree they are not found in a foreign affairs’ ministry, for that matter. But there is one thing you will never find by reading. That’s how those qualities are attained and achieved. What were the actual methods through which practitioners rose in ability and became worthy of their teachers? For that reason, you need and should find a teacher.

I hate this moment, I really do. Like a girl hates the flowers in the hands of her semi-potent lover, like a senior diplomat in a small country, when asked what the hell can you really do, or have you done, or how many languages can you really speak, apart from juggling with relatives and connections? I have come to it on several occasions when invited to speak to audiences of students and people generally interested in sports. As much as it’s painful to me today, too, I’m going to answer in the same way. Here it is.

I don’t care about you or your progress in Qigong or anything else. The only thing I care about is the truth that leads me through it. I’m not certain that a true course of Qigong really makes the difference, increases the numbers of the good ones and balances good against evil. On this planet, as everywhere else, we witness what we are meant to witness and things happen as they were meant to. No degree from any university will make you brighter or spare you from mistakes and wrongdoings. I was never asked to write it down.

I do feel a desire to pay homage to someone, thank him for guiding me through, losing his time with me, but never losing his temper. This could easily save people and souls. One doesn’t need to be a billionaire before coming back, or jumping up, to truth. All of it was given to me—at no price at all. There is seldom a word that is mine, it was a lengthy process, and a sad one, too, as I saw in his eyes once and again the guarded desire to laugh at my shortcomings. The teacher again.

I had seen him many times here and there in the big park, always alone and detached from everyone around. He would usually stop under the trees or by the lake, or hide behind the stone lions. The rare movements he made had some resemblance to what a monkey would do. During the time we spent together, he became 70 and I drew near to 50, a fact that was never to diminish that student-teacher relationship we developed over the years.

That time, it was very cold; freezing, and with that great wind blowing. It was getting dark and most disagreeable, with nobody in sight. As I came by, he was chanting an unintelligible song of impetus and glory to the walnut trees above and the few magpies at the water hose. They didn’t understand a word, and neither did I, for some years to come. But as I approached him, he looked at me and mastered a benevolent smile. On several occasions in the past, I had seen him secretly observing my training routines and hoped even then that they might bring him closer to me. To no avail and after so many years, now I know why.

Do you think herons ever get tired? he asked simply.

At this point, he showed me the stance of the heron.

What can I tell you about it? If done properly, after a minute of it your legs hurt so that you begin hating every kind of sport and especially this one. At the beginning, since that was a real beginning for me, things seemed humiliating a bit, or even more so. Then posts of future development are usually set. At one point, the teacher told me to practice that stance until able to conveniently maintain it for at least half an hour, and that would be the moment when some roughly 50% of Qigong would be in my possession.

Any hurried conclusions would be of no use here at all. Actually, no one can maintain that position for more than a few minutes without hurting himself, unless taught additional sets of practices and breathing exercises. That is a good point for a beginner to note and for a doctor to look, any time some semi-crippled young samurai passes by in the park. A repetition seems well-advised here. It’s a thing to go for muscles, breaking tiles and the bones of opponents, and it’s another thing completely to go deeper in the inner styles and Qigong in particular. And that’s not a generosity of soul at all. When practicing Qigong, one doesn’t need to fight or prove anything to anyone. The path in itself is difficult enough. I don’t expect anyone to learn everything from a book like this, but it can help a lot in dispersing the delusion, and guiding along the way.

That again reminds us about the relationship between Qigong and Buddhism, truth and lies, and delusion. It is because of the truth and the long relationship with it that a true teacher is able to find the student and actually achieve anything at all with him, in terms of development and elements of passing on the deep and secretive knowledge of the past. Because of that, again, the true teacher will read your face like a book, will be able to tell your past and foretell the future, to heal your sores and keep you up whenever you are down physically or mentally. He’ll be sensing your real desire, because many think they desire to learn. He’ll sense your accountability and responsibility, and in some cases will prefer you to his own relatives. He’ll go easy on you today and work you mercilessly tomorrow, he’ll ease your pain and keep quiet next to you in a way that transcends time and sorrow. He’ll make it impossible for you to forget you are on the path of truth now, and that’s terminal really, and can cause some problems in your comfortable day to day life.

As pointed out previously, civilization and modern life, information society and globalization have brought what they claim is achievement, but have also generated a modern phenomenon completely in tune with the theory of the black forces and those of the white, the Yin and Yang situations, the competition between good and evil. They practically introduced the fact that in many situations of life and death, and even in a ministry of foreign relations in a small European state, the lie is as potent as the truth, and even more potent than it in any direct collision. It’s a phenomenon so common that many accept it for normal. It is not. You have stepped over the line and become a student of truth by initiating experiences in Qigong. In a way, you can quit anytime you wish, and you can keep silent about it without anybody noticing it, or about anybody…

But if you really decided to be a student of the truth, then it is an inevitable act of commencing and going on, of being a part of it—a responsible one, too. It’s only normal to notice some changes of attitude on the behalf of the others with that—and on your part, too. Let me help with some of it. Your physical and mental health will improve noticeably; your notions of time, speed, good, bad, worthy, expedient, truth and lie will change dramatically. I’m not going to talk about a career in the foreign service of a small European country—you will find that for yourself. Being a student is quite a responsibility to shoulder and you are a part of the student-teacher equation which entails possibilities to develop or flatly fail. The first will come at the price of hard work and time-consuming efforts, and the second will be excruciatingly painful and unpleasant. It is going to be a demanding task but, successful or not, you will be changed for good.

Your actions will be slow and you need new notions in order not to be lost. Here we go again talking about the practice. A student can’t really escape for long before noticing how different it really is for him now. In things and routines that had caused before only bodily discomforts and physical strain, the Qigong with a real teacher will introduce you to a new balance of, say 60% mind and brain exertion and 40% bodily effort. Don’t bother with the percentage, it will add up to more than a hundred at the end of the day. If you are to advance in Qigong, you can take this for granted.

Secondly, all your previous knowledge will be challenged, new elements added and new musts for what you had practiced before. Of the stances you knew and routines or sequences of movements you definitely practiced before, new aspects will be looked for and where strength was the most important, you’ll need speed now. Breathing correctly will be a basis for every movement you make, and without satisfactory acknowledgement of that factor, no real progress will be granted at all. Don’t overrate what I’m telling you here, because that’s how it was and still is with me. You listen carefully to your own teachers and think again and again.

Thirdly, a good teacher is a competent reader. Let me explain. Suppose you already know some synonyms for the word happiness in a foreign language. And then you open the dictionary one day and come upon two new words, synonyms for happiness, with no additional examples or clarifications. You can memorize all of them and wait for real life situations and examples to learn the real value of each word. But the real teacher will know which ones are often used and which ones are outdated. It’s somewhat similar with Qigong—the competent teacher knows what to do, and when and how to teach you, and this is an important part of the routines you are given.

But really, how does he do that, and how do you go on practically? It is called communication, and mundane as it sounds I can’t stress its importance enough, if one is to really attain anything at all and be certain of it. Sometimes you simply need to speak Chinese, but there are many varying components related to character, receptiveness, benevolence, and so on, that guide you through, encourage the teacher not to kick you out whenever you prove to be very slow to learn or tend to show impatience or even worse.

You need a careful previous knowledge and experience. If you don’t have it at all, it’s hard to imagine who is going to lose that much time and effort on you. But why be careful? Because one’s previous experience would probably not coincide with the new teacher’s and you can’t just say to him every now and again that you’ve seen or heard that but in a slightly different manner, and that somebody told you all of it in a different way. Looking at it again I’m lost for a minute, too, but can’t really advise anything easier or simpler.

Let’s have a look at a reappearing topic like Qi. In the normal language, it will simply mean gas or air and it could be just that, really. For the insiders, Qi is the vital energy that is present in us and has been obscured by centuries of neglect, misuse and depravation by the negative power, the black forces, including those of stupidity.

If one would accept the first to be the case, it works as well. Then most of the things come to synchronizing, pooling together the resources of the body, preparing and grooming it for the moment of need. It’s going to be all right, results are certain to appear. Many of the methods used in the martial arts are exactly that. Grouping and regrouping of muscles, bringing them into quick action all at once, actively using some of them while deliberately leaving others to rest, and yet others on standby. That’s a field of training activity present with even the most secretive and the deepest schools of training.

Old books will tell one how to meet the slow with the quick, the meek with the hard, the weakest part of a stronger opponent with the strongest one in the weaker. Taijiquan, for example, is some 90% based on the elements of pooling strength together and meeting the weak with the strong you have at your disposal. As simple as it may sound, it’s an ocean of learning and masterhood; if I may be excused for profaning it that easily. If we mention it at all, it’s not by reason of preferring one to the other, but rather to stress again that the path of Qigong is the path of perfection, of the short ways, but even more so of the right ones. But for that we’ll have to go deeper in trying to understand the essence of Qi.

This is actually what the heron and myriads of other living things have, in order to achieve their millions of feats and stay alive in adverse circumstances clearly not tolerated by human beings. It’s what keeps the magpie flying the next day after perching in the cold wind for ten hours each night, what the sparrow uses to survive in the cold and in the heat alike. They seldom get tired, never grieve and are actually taking life as it comes, naturally and smoothly.

Usually, that’s the basic point in normal training with the outer styles. The idea being that by practicing let’s say one routine for 10, 20 or even more years, one wouldn’t need anything else, and by becoming better and better, would move ahead and progress enough. That’s true, and I knew a teacher who by constantly practicing six routines had reached heights and depths hard to ignore and easy to envy. That is the outer way and it is accessible to foreigners. By practicing this kind of a martial art with a proper teacher, one is able to feel better and improve constantly.

However, there is another understanding of Qi as the somewhat covert and mysterious nature that the inner styles are based upon. I was time and again reminded by my teacher that there are things that may be said, others that are impossible to say and still a third group of basics that are forbidden for communication between a teacher and a student. More so, if he be a foreigner. It may be that those aspects of Qi seem mysterious just because the laws and rules had not yet been discovered, but he warned me quietly that most of them are really unfathomable and he wouldn’t expect any breakthrough in explaining them at all.

There are definitely times when things about training and developing do seem grossly complex. Sometimes they really are, sometimes they just seem to be. And there are other periods when elements seem too rational and easy. I do think they actually are never so, but at these moments the Westerner usually gets a sense of time, starts to rush things up and builds bright plans for future success. At these moments and in those fields, one is actually dealing with magic that is not at all about tricks, splits and push-ups, but is rather an interaction between the student and a force of cosmic magnitude.

Films have been shot about the potent strides of my teacher by German, American and Australian scientists, filming his movements and measuring his might. No vivid results appeared, to show any understanding or ability to explain them. In fact, it may be said that accordingly what you witness in some films are tricks and methods of showbiz, but there are definitely people who can do those things in real life. One must tread carefully in those reaches, because more often than not the things that remain unexplained for a Westerner are just not real or practical, where the Eastern mind will accept the absence of explanation and readily go for achieving the qualities, without answering any questions, or even asking them, for that matter. This is again delving into the importance of the teacher and the acceptance of his methods with total abandon. As to how I came to learn about those elements—well, you don’t find that kind of a truth in a foreign ministry; you are granted some of it by your teacher; I received copiously from mine.

For the same reasons, magic can be something new or unknown for a short period of time, but it could well be a real magic not accountable to time and efforts. One would be well-advised to expect such things in life—not in order to become detached to the extent of losing sense of reality, but rather in order to be prepared for the experience that there are other things apart from matter and what the senses can easily verify. It was for exactly this reason that I was not ever asked to understand or see or hear, but rather to hone the inner receptors and witness and marvel. Let me assure the hesitant ones—there is an ocean to be witnessed out there and the first thing to do is start looking for it.

Accordingly, it was by sheer accident that I was somehow introduced to my teacher, even though we had met many times in that park before. I can’t really express it in words. For some time after this and that encounter, we crossed paths and I started noticing that on my approach, new elements were added to his usual routines. As difficult for me to understand as ever, since they greatly differed from what I had previously seen or witnessed, the new movements he introduced would resemble an anxious dialogue between himself and something invisible, yet present. It looked at some moments as if he was pointing at me, asking for advice, then admission, approval. Apart from that, he was sociable and spoke freely to me, occasionally even in words of appreciation. Unwittingly, I was showing him my older routines, trying not to forget them and improve as much as possible, but also expecting some remarks and observations. On many occasions before, I had overheard here and there some older masters commenting on true basics and skills, even when they were expounding on things read or heard and not really mastered. It’s the privilege of the good memory to recall even what is not actually understood.

For example, I knew something about the relation between well-done routines and breathing and getting tired, so I was ready to gulp in any comments or advice on that. And it happened once he said something about that, after carefully observing my movements for some time. He told me that if I was really going to progress beyond the normal it was imperative for me to realize the difference between the good, better, all right and the true, where the latter contained things like harmony and beauty not present in my performances at all. For that matter, I was not expecting him to add anything more so I was not surprised when he turned and went away. The surprise was caused rather by the fact that his words instantly meant something to me and I did not find them one bit insulting or deprecating. At that point and for some time afterward, he looked quite fragile to me and I really was inclined to accept his comments as truth, since you know I was obviously stronger than him and who cares about real perfection? It was sad stupidity and a negative recommendation I made for myself in that way and as time progressed, I certainly was blessed with experiencing his might on many occasions. I am even more in awe now, since what could be sensed with him then was the element of initial caring for me and bearing with my shortcomings.

Let me tell you a story here. There was an old merchant in China who was rich, potent, healthy and owed by many, but not by his son. He didn’t want to follow in his father’s steps; he wanted to become a painter. They quarreled often and things developed to a point where the son left home angry with his father and never returned again. The father sent a servant after him, to observe his doings and misfortunes and duly report back. For some ten years, the son was trying to make a name for himself and managed to go on, but took special care not to do anything that might resemble what his father asked or taught him to do. Then the father died, but the son was not informed about that. He felt possessed for some time, went through qualms and spells of sadness and unexpectedly, even for himself, started to paint the face of his old father again and again. It has never been strange in China for an artist to spend the whole of his life painting only horses, or tigers, or pines, for that matter. It was no surprise to the servant secretly following his career. That son became famous painting the face of his father in different situations, but he himself was never happy again.

It has become a basic belief for the Chinese for many centuries now that the blood is very important and for as much as we follow the call of the ancestors, we are secure and will prevail, no matter what. It’s in the roots of the Chinese people’s respect for the parents and the teachers, too. We can easily see it and even believe in it, but without going deep into the making of the traditions, that of Qigong included, no real progress would ever be possible.

That’s approximately where we all stand, in life and with Qigong, too. You follow the right ones and do the right things and nothing else really matters. If not, no results are going to make you happy.

With that, it became easier for me to follow the teacher in his practices, based on the idea of following and copying with no reference to logic and understanding. That’s something you can look for if you think you are being taught an inner style. As mentioned already, your mind will toil even more than the body. On many occasions, I was in pain; even more often, saddened. He’d pretend not to notice that and go on doing and showing something. I used to reach levels of being desperate and angry, and after some time complain to him that for the first time in many years of practice I was not able either to follow or understand. I was certain that even on the next day I could not repeat what was being practiced today. He’d answer there was nothing to worry about and what was of any value to me was to go on and apply myself to following him, while observing the mental peace and integrity of my soul, so that I wouldn’t go crazy.

I’m taking a break here and must admit that the text tells a little about how awkward we looked there in the park. He doing the craziest things and movements you could imagine, and me unsuccessfully trying to copy him. Let me account here for the fact that along with many wonderful qualities that the Chinese possess, there is the acceptance of the disabled and sick with tolerance and respect. As some diplomats know much too well, this helps a lot on many occasions. It certainly did with me and my training. And you’d be well-advised to keep an eye on yours—ready to notice those signs that promise continuation and eventually some results.

For me, I was punished severely by him and left mercilessly like a stray dog—helpless and with no guidance for days on end, only when expressing doubt in the might of the exercises and lost even a small portion of interest in some of the strangest routines of his. The other dangerous thing to do is to mention pain and allude to possibly quitting one of them and going for something new or easier. At that moment, my teacher would snap angrily that I’d better stop right away the practice, since nothing could be done about me or any quitter of a student.

Accordingly the warnings were much too real and sometimes weeks passed without a trace of him. And another piece of advice—don’t stop, even if the instructor of yours is not around. Just go on and on, and when he comes back he’ll mercilessly measure your improvement or whether the result might be worth it, after all. Actually you might be surprised to learn after a reunion with a teacher, that he has been observing your lonely attempts at training without him and adjusts his instruction accordingly.

I can’t help repeating here what I was reminded constantly about Qigong. It’s an emanation of belief and Buddhist outlook that requires purity of heart, mind and hands. The normal reader will be somehow provoked to comment angrily, We know that, stop repeating it. In fact that in itself is a proof that the reminder is urgently needed.

One difference between the East and the West often and in fact always overlooked, is that the manifestations of the Western education and intelligence are separated from each other, which means for example that being a doctor in the West you absolutely don’t need to understand art or sports. Look around and you may decide to admit you know what I really mean. It has become increasingly the same with the middle class of many leading nations in the East, too. For many citizens, religion has retained only the forms and sounds of going to a temple or dressing in a peculiar way. But as soon as one goes deeper and you are exactly in the deepest with the relation between Buddhism and Qigong, things change. One just can’t move forward at all without applying the basic Buddhist truths in his Qigong practice. It is deeper than one is basically prepared or wishes to go, too. Usually a teacher will be confronted with impatience, I don’t care about those things, give me the real thing here, I need to go on quickly, don’t have time for that, and so on. The best the poor teacher can hope for would normally be a response along the lines of: I agree, I know, but still let’s hurry up with the training now! Actually, again, you can’t move any further at all.

The basic notion of Buddhism in this respect would be that until the vessel is clean enough, you can’t pour good tea into it. A gross psychological problem arises herein. Thousands of practitioners know about it, but keep it to themselves, hoping that nobody notices. It’s about the distances one would normally cross in Qigong. Since even the 30% right practice is going to let the practitioner reap definite gains in health and power; even when after usually prolonged stride within, he finally comes to realize that he’s hit a blind alley; a guy would look around and once able to ascertain that no witnesses are to be seen, he’d normally decide that what has been learned is enough. It actually is for him, but to his mind since there was nobody around to see, it looks easy to go on and pretend that everything’s really okay. What can I add to that? That’s how life is in a foreign ministry of a small European state. You know that you don’t deserve and don’t know, but for as long as you join the strong big shots, everybody will assume that actually you do know and are quite good at all you know only too well, that you are quite clumsy about. An obvious idiocy is what some might object and say, while others will find it to be an injustice. I guess both have made a good point. But even the injustice would be a manifestation of justice for us as things are what they are and no efforts are ever made to change any substance on this planet.

Along with that, it feels appropriate at this stage to make one thing clear. This is not a manual and can’t really be used effectively as one. It’s an attempt to say thank you to ones who quite possibly will never read it and a slightly more successful effort to look in the mirror and take stock. It’s a personal record of mistakes and shortcomings, to say to a few enlightened ones that I do notice the truth and feel happy and grateful for their patience with me. To say even more, I clearly see now that actually the teacher and I had never spoken of, much less discussed, steps and progress. Those were long regular sessions of interaction that only for a few moments at the end could take the form of comments spoken and hardly even asked. He wouldn’t tolerate a pronounced question, it would have been an obvious misunderstanding and shortcoming on my part.

I do understand that a mind which has gone through the Western educational system and a high-rated university would prefer a clear set of instructions. You are free to look for them, but please don’t do it for a lengthy period. It would be to no avail. As you might have already sensed, the mystery consists of things simply unknown and others that are really unfathomable. If you ever progress in Qigong, you will come to know about them, but the weird thing is that even at the beginning you have to apply them somehow. Yes, you do need a teacher and a true one, too.

Take a moment and think about a new set of ingredients to the truth and the path leading thereto. As an old Chinese would know only too well, in order to prepare to travel far away you have to look around and pack things that are near you, and in order to be okay in the present, one must look deep into the past and observe carefully what’s in the faraway future. Buddha said on one occasion that in order to understand the present, one is to look in the past, and if interested in the future he is to ponder on what he is about now. The general meaning would be that you reap today what you sowed in the past and the future will bring you what you deserve based on your actions today. I guess that’s a form of justice that many would doubt and no one would accept in a foreign service of a small European state. But those are heights not discussed here at length, so I suggest we keep with the reality of magic where from one point of view for a qualified observer it is definitely possible to read the past and the future of a person based exactly on this truth. No, I’m not sorry at all that there are no manuals for such an activity, nor ever would be, I hope. So be advised, you who think the practice is a sport. We are just using our time on this planet to try to become better and get near to the truth. In that, a teacher is an assisting hand, and some silence helps.

What is the meaning of You never know? It is not