Love At Last

By Karol Lynn Jackson

Margie Jones had taken all she could take from her abusive husband. She endured the disrespect and insults for years, and now that there was infidelity, she wanted out but not without seeking God and waiting on Him to lead her. She had been through so much that she told the Lord that if He were just to make a way for her to get out, sh

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Mar 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647730024

Book preview

love_at_last_cover_jpg.jpg

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2019 by Karol Jackson

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

For information, address Trilogy Christian Publishing

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, Ca 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64773-001-7 (Print)

ISBN 978-1-64773-002- 4 (eBook)

Karol Lynn Jackson

LOVE AT LAST

Trilogy Christian Publishers

Love At Last

KAROL LYNN JACKSON

DEDICATION

To my son, A. J. and daughter Tearrany, both of whom I love deeply. To my beloved mother Carolyn Matthews, father Raif Johnson, stepfather Clarence Matthews, grandparents Della and Lonnie Nobles Sr., and all those who are not with me physically but in spirit. To my sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, friends, and neighbors, whom I love and have added to my life in one way or another.

Acknowledgment

I thank God for the greatest gift and love of all, Himself, and for letting me know through various ways that He is with me, guiding me, and leading me into the divine purpose He ordained for my life. To God be all the praise, honor, and glory for giving me a story to tell, the gift to write it, and the opportunity to share it.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the

Lord

, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

Chapter One

The hot dishwater was a tad bit too warm for Margie as she quickly removed her hand from the sink filled with the morning’s breakfast dishes. She turned the cold spicket on and let the water run while she cleared the jam and butter from the table and put them in the refrigerator. Aaron, Alexa? she called out as she grabbed the plate in the sink. We’ll be leaving in ten minutes, so be ready!

Can you hold it down? I’m trying to listen to the news, her husband snapped as he swapped the beer can he had in his hand for the remote and turned up the volume on the big screen tv that he was usually seated in front of on Sundays. Margie washed up the last fork, dried her hands, and called out again for the kids to come on. Why is the tv up so loud? Aaron asked as he headed toward the door. Walking right behind her brother, Alexa stared at her dad, expecting him to answer, but instead, he just stared intently at the tv ignoring the question altogether. In fact, he ignored them all. It’s ok y’all, let’s go, Margie demanded and off to church they went.

As soon as they closed the door, Anthony turned down the TV, grabbed his cell phone, and started dialing one of his familiar numbers as he peered out of the kitchen window to watch his family pull out of the yard and drive off. Hello, said the female voice on the other end of the phone. Hey Baby, how are you?

I’m ok. How are you?

I’m thinking about you, thought I might come over and see you.

Come on, I’ll be here.

See you in a few. He hung up the phone, grabbed his car keys, and left.

Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Margie silently prayed as she drove off. I’ve given all I can give, taken all I can take, please release me from this marriage. The tears that were forming in her eyes were not from the many wounds she had suffered from being married to such a cold-hearted man or the sorrow from being so unhappy for so long; no, at this point, they were tears from wanting so desperately to leave that man, that house, that life, and never return.

She had tried a few times before, but something always brought her back to him. One thing for sure, it was never love. As crazy as it sounds, she never really loved him. She had met him her senior year of high school, and they dated until he left to go into the Army. She had plans to go on to college but once he came back from basic training, he proposed. She thought about how her mother, being a single mother of four, had big dreams for her to go off to college once she graduated, but the reality was that unless Margie got a scholarship, she was not going to be able to afford it. So, getting married was an opportunity that seemed to provide more security at the time than any other option, and for that reason, she decided to accept his proposal.

She cared for him or at least the person she thought she had gotten to know over the nine months they had dated before he went into the service. So, she reasoned with herself that once they were married, she would grow to love him but that never happened; and even though she wasn’t in love with him, she was devoted to her marriage and family. Later, she realized that she had been naïve to think she could grow to love him; time proved that she really didn’t know him at all. He had a narcissistic mindset that everything was about him, and being such a young wife, she believed that pleasing her husband was what marriage was all about.

The first few years were not too bad because as long as he was being catered to, he was happy, respectful, and considerate. During the early years, before the children came, Margie did a lot of compromising and sacrificing, determined to make the marriage work. Once he came back from the Desert Storm War, he was angry and suffered severely from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). He respected no one, not even himself. He drank from the time he woke up in the morning until the time he went to bed. He used every conversation as an opportunity to unleash his rage and frustration through venomous words that were intentionally hurled to injure, and the moment she argued back, he would get in his car and take off.

She convinced herself that he was not attacking her personally but that she was the closest target for him to vent all that he had suffered in the war. Once the children came, they became the center of her attention until she became oblivious to much of what he said and did. For the sake of keeping the children in a peaceful environment, she kept communication to a minimum to reduce the chance of sparking an argument. For many years, for Margie, it was like walking on eggshells, and although they lived in the same house, she was extremely lonely. The children didn’t have a clue as to how lonely she was because in their eyes, she was always busy making their house as much of a home that she could. She wanted to fill as much of the void of not having their father being active in their lives as she could.

Many times, she considered leaving, but more than anything, she wanted to give her children a decent home and a chance at a good education and opportunities that she felt wouldn’t be possible with only her income, which was meager compared to her husband’s. Many times, she weighed it all out, and up until now, she had decided to bear the brunt of all the disrespect, infidelity, drinking, verbal and emotional abuse, and sometimes physical threats to make sure her children had more than the limited provision that her income would give. Several times over the years, she had almost reached the breaking point and sought legal advice on what she would be entitled to if she divorced him and was told that since his income was disability, although the courts could order him to pay child support and alimony, his income could not be garnished. Therefore, she would still be depending on him to give her the monthly payments, and he had told her many times that he wouldn’t give her a dime if she left.

She held on all those years with the goal of at least getting her children through high school. Her son Aaron had graduated the previous school year. He took almost a year before deciding to go into the military. He was soon to leave for the Air Force. Her daughter Alexa was already in her senior year, and afterward, she was going on to college. A few more months, she thought as she turned into the church parking lot. A few more months to endure this, and then I’m gone!

The church she attended was a mega-church with well over 10,000 members, so finding a good parking space could be a challenge if you were coming at the scheduled service times. However, since she was one of many Sunday School teachers, she made it a point to get to church early enough to organize her lessons and prepare the room for whatever presentation or project she had planned for the kids to do. So, her normal parking space was empty and conveniently close to the building. They all got out of the car and headed for the large double doors of the church. Ok, I’ll see y’all at my room after the service, she said with a smile as she extended her arms out to hug them both. Aaron and Alexa agreed and went in the opposite direction of their mother.

Once Margie got inside her room, she locked the door and began to weep. She had become a pro at hiding her feelings in public and especially around her children. She was so good at it that most people had no idea of what she was really going through behind closed doors. She had put up so many walls and become so guarded that she rarely allowed anyone into her personal life. She put on an all is well façade and masked the hurt with a smile while inwardly feeling great agony. It was only to God that she shared her personal pain and prayed for help. It was the usual prayer that she prayed and had prayed for years. Oh God, she said out loud in the room, "If you get me out of this, I will never ask you for another husband, I will resolve to