Forever Love

By Tyanne DeMint Palmer

He was going home. When Zack Carter left Sunset Point twelve years ago, he swore he was making the right decision. In one fateful night, he broke his promise to God and to his longtime girlfriend, Amanda Karmichael. He knew she deserved someone better than him, someone worthy of her love. So, without a word to her, he severed the bond between them and disappeared from her life. But when tragedy brings him home, the last person he expects to find is his Ami. Would she actually be able to forgive him, and could Gods plans really include a second chance for them?

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781449778330

Tyanne DeMint Palmer

Tyanne DeMint Palmer teaches high school English in Southern California. Although she has been writing for most of her life, beginning with teenage romances when she was in high school, Forever Love is her first published novel. Mrs. Palmer has been married for twenty years to her best friend, Chad, and they have three sons. In addition to writing stories, she enjoys reading, taking road trips with her family, teaching Sunday school with her husband, and watching NASCAR on Sunday afternoons.

Book preview

Chapter One

The saying went You can’t go home again. Musicians wrote songs about it, authors wrote books about it. Zack Carter prayed they were wrong. He was going home, and as he turned on Sycamore Street in Sunset Point, the mantra reverberated in his mind. I am home . The irony of just how close to home he actually was struck him when his childhood house came into view halfway down the block. He was bringing his little daughter back to where he grew up. I am home.

The tree-lined street looked exactly as he remembered it—long and narrow, with cars parked in front of the one-, two-, and three-bedroom bungalow-style homes. Old sycamore trees created an umbrella over the asphalt. The salt air from the beach, just two blocks, away drifted through the open windows of the twenty-five-foot moving truck, a refreshing change from the oppressive summer temperatures he endured driving across central California. He breathed deeply, savoring the smells of fresh-cut grass and sea salt. Memories of lazy summer afternoons assailed him: working in the yard with his dad, playing basketball at the park with his friends, hanging out in the Cove with… No, don’t go there, he scolded himself, but he knew it was inevitable. Those memories would hit whether he wanted them to or not.

I am home. The clear blue sky above invited him to enjoy the afternoon in the backyard with his daughter instead of unloading the contraption he was driving, except the backyard was in shambles, thanks to the lackluster owners who had lived there since his mom had sold it nearly twelve years ago. The backyard was the one thing he left for himself to fix after hiring a team of contractors to repair the damages to the inside and the front yard. And, he would get it fixed up soon enough. First things first, they say.

The memories he wanted to keep at bay flooded his thoughts anyway, and a smile lifted his lips despite the ache that surrounded his heart. He wondered what she was doing now. What would she say when—no if—she saw him again? Zack didn’t believe for a minute that Amanda Karmichael would fall into his arms, or even that she would be anywhere around Sunset Point. He reminded himself again that twelve years was a long time, and it was her grandmother who owned the house next door to his, not her parents. Shaking the disparaging thought aside, he allowed himself to see her as he often did: a petite, blonde-haired, blue-eyed seventeen-year-old with stars in her eyes. Okay, they were tears, not stars, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was the reason for those tears.

Guilt slammed into him with such a force it took his breath away, and it wiped the smile off his face. What am I doing here anyway? With his right hand on the steering wheel, he lifted his left hand to his chin and rubbed thoughtfully. First Amanda, and then Lauren, and he didn’t deserve either one of them.

Fool, go back to Reno. Leave her alone! She doesn’t need the likes of you.

By now, he was familiar with the voice that sent those fault-finding thoughts, and he knew how to get away from it. He had allowed that voice to control him for almost twelve years, after that one unspeakable night when he deemed himself unworthy of God’s grace and condemned himself. But thirteen months ago, God had shown him that he didn’t need to listen to that voice any longer. Thirteen months ago, his world had crashed around him, and only God was able to rescue him that time.

His eyes clouded, and he ran the back of his hand across them to clear away the tears. He breathed deeply, trying to calm his soul. The image of his young wife filtered through the recriminations. I’m sorry, Lauren. I wish I could tell you just how sorry I am. With that, the real reason driving him home shadowed the happy-go-lucky days of his youth and what he longed to find by returning.

He squeezed his index finger and thumb against the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Lauren… He tried to put her image into the back of his mind. Instead, the awful vision of her pale figure lying in the hospital bed filled him. That horrible, dark, rainy afternoon that changed the course of their lives felt like both yesterday and a million years ago at the same time. If only he could go back to that moment when she slammed the door against his selfish words, he would apologize to her before she left the house. No, he wouldn’t just apologize; he would do what she had asked of him rather than tell her to do it herself. Then, she would still be alive. They would still be…

He adjusted in his seat, already uncomfortable even though he had only been on the road a few hours. He took another deep breath, trying not to think of the hospital and holding his wife’s hand as she drew her last breath. He had told her he was sorry; he had told her everything, but in her comatose state, he feared she never heard the words. Would it have brought him peace if she had? The pain in his gut gnawed at him.

Please get me through this, Lord; I know it’s what you want. Zack never would have made it through the past year without Him. Sadly, it took Lauren’s death for him to ask God back into his life. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on him either. She had a part in what drove him away from his Savior at eighteen. What was worse was that during their marriage, they had regular arguments about his lack of faith and church attendance. All she wanted was for him to open up to God. Why did he wait until she died to go crawling back to Him? Zack squeezed the bridge of his nose again, trying to stop the burning sensation. Of course, the memory of his return to God would remind him of why he had walked away in the first place—of who he had walked away from. And that was something Lauren never knew.

He took a deep breath. Please just take these thoughts away. It won’t make a difference anyway. Coming back home was the starting point. He wasn’t coming back to find Amanda, he insisted; he was coming back to find himself—to find the person he once was.

As he pulled the truck to a stop in front of the house, the burning subsided and his eyes dried. Peace settled over him. Thank you. All things are made possible through you; I know this is truth.

He looked out the cab window, and his heart soared with unexpected excitement. Everything was perfect. The yard, filled with weeds just a few months ago, was lush and green. The landscaper had recreated it from the pictures Zack had emailed him. It looked just as it had when he was growing up there, even down to the tire swing hanging from the sycamore in front of the bedroom window that was once his. He smiled, taking in the sight. The furniture on the front porch was new, but resembled the old pieces that his grandfather had given his parents for their wedding gift: a porch swing, a small end table, and a wooden rocker. Pleased, he allowed his eyes to wander across his driveway to his neighbor’s.

It was empty, but then again, Maeve Karmichael used to park in the garage years ago. When he had bought the house the past spring, he had knocked on her door, but no one answered. He didn’t know for sure if Mrs. Karmichael still lived there, but he was anxious to find out. What would he tell her when he saw her? Surprise!

He chuckled, shaking his head. She’d probably horsewhip him, and then call her son to come down and finish him off. As for Amanda, neither of them would want him to be within one hundred yards of her. With good reason, too. His mom had told him about what his silence had done to Amanda, even though he knew at the time there was no other way. No, they would both want to protect her. Suddenly, the decision to come back felt rash and emotionally charged rather than a direction from God. Could he possibly have made a mistake? Would everything have been as easy as it was if God wasn’t behind it?

Don’t second guess it, Zack. Those were the words that his pastor—Lauren’s pastor—had shared with him once he finally confessed his guilt. By then, he had already accepted the math position at Sunset Point High School and bought the house.

Rick, he had told the pastor, I keep feeling this tug, like I’m supposed to go back. He had not listened to God in so long that Zack wasn’t sure if he was hearing Him clearly.

Go home, Zack. Your life changed when you came here; maybe you’ll find the answers you’re looking for if you go back.

Answers? Will I get answers here, Lord? The only unresolved part of his past was Amanda—my Ami. The little flutter in his heart at the thought of her pet name sent a thrill through him. But the little flame that sparked was quickly doused by the knowledge of what he would have to do to make things right.

His eyes scanned the yard again. If it looked this good, he was certain that the changes inside would be worth every penny the renovation had cost. He cringed at the thought of the mess he had witnessed in April when he had seen the house for the first time since his family had left. And it had been a mess: holes in the walls of every room, appliances stripped, carpet stained and torn, linoleum lifting in the kitchen and bathrooms, toilets that didn’t work. And the back yard was even worse. The flowerbeds that his mom had been so proud of were choked among the weeds. He was amazed at what a dozen years and three different owners could do to a home that had been well-loved during his parents’ twenty year marriage. I am home.

Eagerness filled him as he stepped out of the truck. He couldn’t wait to see his mom’s reaction. He never told her about the house, wanting it to be a surprise. Besides, she was already second-guessing his reasons for coming back. She would be doubly suspicious if she thought he was trying to buy back his childhood—buy back his love for Ami. That’s not the way it is, he insisted.

He made his way down the length of the truck, thankful to be at his destination. If he could get unloaded today, he could return the truck to the rental yard in Oxnard before closing. Standing at the rear of the truck, he watched his mom pull up in his silver SUV. He had towed her sedan behind the moving truck while she drove the larger vehicle with his daughter.

Running his fingers through his unruly black hair, he let out a nervous laugh. I’m really here, he thought. For the first time since he made the decision to come home, everything seemed right. It was good to be home again. He had left the California coastal town right after his high school graduation to attend college in Reno. After his dad died of a massive heart attack eight months later, his mom followed Zack with his sister, Zoe. Back then, he figured they had left the town for good. Approaching the car, he opened the driver’s door as his mom cut the engine.

Zack? Judy Carter whispered slowly as she unbuckled her seatbelt. Her deep brown eyes sparkled with unshed tears. You didn’t.

Zack grinned like a Cheshire cat. I did, he responded. The warm feeling that filled him seemed out of place, but he welcomed it. He reached for his mom, who had moved in front of him, pulling her into a hug. When the realtor said this house was available, I couldn’t resist. I almost told her that she didn’t even need to show me the house.

How does it look? Judy asked, stepping back after returning his hug. She scrutinized the front yard and the fresh white paint with blue trim.

A little wear and tear, but that’s expected after all this time. It’s had three owners since you left.

Judy nodded. Her eyes misted as she looked at the green front yard. Someone has taken care of the yard at least. Look, the cypress trees your dad and I planted in front of your bedroom window are still there.

I had some work done on the front yard, paint, and some repairs inside before we got here. It’s been empty for almost a year. It was a rental before that.

Zack walked around to the rear passenger door. He reached in and unbuckled his daughter, Crissy, from her car seat. The toddler rested her honey-blonde head on his shoulder as he closed the door of the silver Tahoe behind him. So, do you want to see the inside? he asked his mom as they started up the driveway.

I just can’t believe it. Did you tell Zoe? asked Judy, taking the key from her son.

Zack grinned. His sister’s reaction had been the icing on the cake on the afternoon he made the offer on the house. I called her on my way home from the interviews, after I had put in the offer. Ever since, we’ve been sharing remodeling ideas. She’s been a big help.

They walked through the front door into the small dining room. To the left, the familiar living room was coated in fresh paint of pale green. The hardwood floors were polished and shining against the sunlight cascading through the front window. Straight ahead, the galley kitchen had been painted, updated, and the new wood laminate flooring gleamed. Maple cabinets replaced the old dented metal ones, and the chipped tile counter was swapped with a granite counter top. A stainless sink took the place of the old scratched porcelain that had once filled the spot. A garden shelf was added to the window over the sink. The other appliances had been upgraded as well, all of them stainless. Zack, it looks beautiful! cried Judy, This must have been expensive.

Zack shrugged. I still need to work on the backyard, but at least the inside is ready for us to move in.

Was it that bad?

He nodded. I didn’t want you to see it that way. Not with the memories we have of it.

Judy smiled with gratitude. Her brown eyes sparkled up at him. I can’t wait to see the rest of the house. I may have to put more in storage. Your old room was pretty small.

Zack laughed. I kind of thought you could have the master bedroom. I don’t need that much space, and you would have a bathroom to yourself. Crissy can have Zoe’s old room, and I’ll take mine.

That’s silly. This is your house; you need to have the master, she argued.

Mom, really, I don’t need it. It’s just me. Besides, I prefer being closer to Crissy if she keeps having those nightmares. The reminder of his single life shadowed his eyes. Thankfully, his usually persistent mother noticed and dropped the protest.

Judy reached over and took Crissy from his arms. The little girl slipped her thumb into her mouth and rested her head on Judy’s shoulder. Why don’t you get her toys out of the car, and I’ll help you unload?

Zack held up one finger, motioning for her to hold her thought. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Actually, the department chair at the high school gave me his number. He told me to call when we arrived, and he would come over with a few of the other teachers to help.

He walked toward the front door as the phone rang, and he greeted his new supervisor. While he waited for help to arrive, he emptied the SUV of Crissy’s two favorite dolls, her stuffed dog, and her little backpack of coloring books and story books. He carried those to her room, hoping the child would stay occupied for a while as they unloaded everything else.

Zack stepped off the front porch and looked at the house next door again, longing to go over and knock on the door. The two driveways were separated by a small two-foot-high block wall. He remembered helping his dad lay the cement blocks for that wall years ago when he was eight. Lost in the memories, his mom startled him when she spoke, You didn’t come back here to find her, did you?

His heart slammed against his ribs. He stared at the house for another moment, and then turned to his mom. Of course not, he tried to deny.

Zack, I’ve wanted to ask you about that. You know, I haven’t heard from Maeve Karmichael in six years. At first, I used to get Christmas cards every year, but…

Mom, I really didn’t…

Judy held up her hand. Honey, I just don’t want you to be disappointed. Twelve years is a long time, and I’m sure she’s moved on.

I know, Mom, he whispered, trying to breathe calmly. She was only telling him everything he had already thought about. Amanda was probably happily married and a mother now. At any rate, she certainly wouldn’t waste her time pining for him.

Judy sighed in defeat. They were a great couple though. She smiled and looked at the neighbor’s house again. Jim and Maeve Karmichael. When your dad and I moved in right after our wedding, they welcomed us to the neighborhood and then treated us like their own kids. Whenever Ben and Kathy would come to visit, they always included us…

He stopped listening to his mom as his own memories of Ben and Kathy Karmichael’s visits filled him. Every summer, their daughters came and spent most of it with their grandparents. Zoe was the same age as Ami’s younger sister, Rachel, and the three girls were fast friends. Zack recalled playing with the girls only when his friends were gone on vacation. Then, they became teenagers, and everything changed: Amanda grew up. Her grandfather passed away at the beginning of that summer, and the sisters arrived early, staying with their grandmother after the funeral until they had to return to Santa Clarita for school the following September. Gone was the annoying little sister she had once been. Instead, he found himself wanting to spend time with the cute, friendly teenage girl she had become.

He shook his head, pushing the thoughts from his mind. If Ami’s grandmother did still live next door, what of it? Ami wasn’t going to be interested that he was back in town. No, he had screwed up beyond repair that long ago Christmas. Besides, he had Crissy to think about. And he was still trying to forgive himself for not being the kind of husband he should have been to Lauren. He wasn’t ready for a new relationship. No, this move isn’t about Ami, he told himself.

A black PT Cruiser pulled up and parked in front of the moving truck. Zack laughed as four guys resembling a circus clown show climbed out of the little car. Hey, guys, he greeted them as he stepped toward the street. He shook hands with the teachers that he would be working with at Sunset Point High School.

Pete Calvario, the math department chair and his immediate supervisor, had rounded up a team of math and physical education teachers to help them. He introduced Zack to the others, who welcomed him to the community. The feeling of being home assailed him as the men began unloading the truck.

With each trip in and out of the house that day, Zack stole glances next door. He hoped for a glimpse of the elderly neighbor. With every glance, he reminded himself that he wasn’t ready, and with every glance, he prayed for an opportunity to talk to Amanda again. He knew if it was God’s will, the door would be opened to him through her grandmother.

Knock it off, Carter, he mumbled as he caught himself looking again. You came back here to find yourself, not her.

Chapter Two

Y ou’ve got to be kidding, mumbled Amanda Karmichael as she scanned the curbside for a place to park. Could the day actually get any worse? Her driveway was blocked by a moving truck, and an SUV took up the space in front of her house. The only available spot left on the street was in front of Mr. Mitchell’s house, the elderly neighbor who believed his property included the road too. It was the one area on the block that everyone else understood to never park

Take a deep breath, Amanda; you’re just in a bad mood. Shaking her head, she tried not to dwell on the events from earlier in the morning. The ticket had to be at the top of the list. Five miles an hour over the speed limit, and she was traveling with the speed of traffic! Then, after she went to Wal-Mart for the school supplies she needed, she discovered that she locked her keys in the car and had to wait an hour and half for the tow truck driver to come and help her. And now this—the mysterious new neighbors finally decided to move in. She prayed they were more responsible than the last tenants. Those people had had drunken parties almost every night. Why now? she wondered miserably. They couldn’t wait until next week when she was back to school after the summer break? She really wasn’t anxious about another round of unsavory people living in the Carter house.

Blowing out a breath in exasperation, she pulled the little four-door Chevy to a stop behind the silver SUV. Nevada tags. She killed the ignition and stared at the larger car in front of her. Zack lived in Nevada, or he had last she heard. Where did that thought come from? She had not thought of Zack Carter in a long time. Not since before she and Mark started dating almost a year ago. No, it had to be almost three years ago when her sister, Rachel, had started dating one of her colleagues from the high school. But, now, as the image of the boy she had once loved more than life itself took root, she smiled despite the dull ache that filled her heart along with memories.

She climbed out of the car and opened the rear door, gathering her mail, purse, and the sack of groceries she had bought. The school supplies could stay in her car until tomorrow when she went to the high school to get her class ready. Walking up the sidewalk toward her house, she looked over at the house next door. It would always be the Carter house even though the Carters had left nearly twelve years ago. She still remembered the shock and agony of rejection when she arrived for her summer visit with her grandmother and discovered that his family had left. He would never know how devastated she was when he coldly turned his back on her that long ago spring morning.

She tried to move on after Zack left. I did move on, she told herself adamantly. She had dated a few times; fancied herself in love a few times. Most recently, that love was Mark Hilliard, a thirty-five-year-old divorced lawyer who she met ten months earlier. And as usual, everything had been perfect until he decided a few months ago that he needed more. Except, for her, more meant marriage, and for him, it just meant a key to her house and a place for his toothbrush. She grimaced, shaking her head. These thoughts of Zack were about her new neighbors, not her rocky relationship with Mark. She hitched her purse back to her shoulder and continued up the sidewalk.

Then the familiar question filled her mind, and she sucked in a breath. Had Zack left because I wouldn’t give in? She knew the validity of that reason was slim considering the vow of purity that they took together. Besides, neither of them had ever pushed things that far even before the True Love Waits class. But she couldn’t help wondering if he left because he knew the answer would be no. Irritably, she pushed the thought from her mind. She wasn’t going to let those old fears wend their way into her relationship with Mark. She was already too familiar with the results of letting that happen, and she didn’t want to end up spending the next few months picking up the pieces of yet another broken relationship.

She stopped cold on the sidewalk as a new direction of thoughts began to form. Could the memories of her first love be filling her heart because her relationship with Mark was on precarious ground, reaching a point of no return? She was sure she loved Mark, but the real question was did he love her enough to respect her vow?

They had struggled all summer. No, she argued in torment, forcing one foot in front of the other on her way up the sidewalk. Please don’t let us be ending now. But the memory of their date two nights ago became a vivid beacon. He had been furious with her when he stormed out of the house. Worse, he didn’t call until late last night to apologize. Sighing, she again considered that the onset of her thoughts of Zack had more to do with her relationship with Mark than the new neighbors from Nevada.

Suddenly, the front door of the Carter house opened. Curiosity grabbed her as her gaze flew to the porch. But when she saw her sister’s fiancé, Pete Calvario, bound down the steps, her mouth dropped open in shock and once again she paused.

Pete? she called out, waving her hand in greeting. She waited for him to approach.

Hey, Amanda, said Pete. He jogged over to her, wiping his brow with the paper towel in his hand.

So, you know the new neighbors? she asked.

Yeah, he’s the math teacher that we hired. Nice guy.

Family? Amanda questioned, hoping that this was a good sign: a teacher with a family would be a welcome addition to the neighborhood. And maybe decent neighbors will let me forget Zack.

Pete walked beside her as she made her way up the path to her porch. She glanced at her watch. She was running late, and Mark would be picking her up soon.

He has a daughter. His mom lives with them too. I’m not sure about his wife, answered Pete. Hang on, I’ll introduce you.

Sorry, no time right now. Mark is on his way over.

Amanda watched Pete’s obvious displeasure of Mark cross his face. She half expected him to have a negative comment, even though he usually tried not to say anything negative about Mark. It bothered her, though, that others could clearly see the problems that she did not want to admit existed. Instead of saying what she anticipated, Pete changed the subject. Hey, where’s your sister? I haven’t heard from her all day.

Amanda laughed at the abrupt change. She had a story to cover at the beach. Some whale sighting or something. I’m sure she’ll call when she gets a chance.

Pete turned toward the truck, calling out as he moved to get another box.