Fall Into the void: The strange case of a perfect suicide

By Susanna Casubolo

One morning, a lawyer is found dead atop a parked car below the terrace of his apartment, an alleged suicide. Three months later, Martina — a nurse who seeks to live closer to work — rents the now vacant apartment without knowing its dark history.
Accompanied by her loyal dog Scheggia, Martina has a flair for mysteries. Though

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hoffman & Hoffman
• Release date: Nov 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9781947488489

Book preview

Preface

Meeting Susanna Casubolo was nothing short of synchronicity. Well, to tell the truth, we haven’t actually met in person yet. Nevertheless, our connection is a strong one.

One hot summer afternoon in late June of 2013, I was at the St. Anthony Italian Festival in Wilmington, Delaware. I was living in West Chester, Pennsylvania at the time, which is just a hop, skip, and a jump down rt. 202 to Wilmington. I was new to the area and two dear friends of mine, a married couple in their 60’s named Caryn and Vic, invited me to tag along with them to the festival. I was teaching Italian at the same school as Caryn. We met from playing in the teacher band during the holiday season. We played Bruce Springsteen’s rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. During the first band practice, Caryn and I immediately hit it off, as we we nerded out over our shared passion of Steve Earle, Buddy Miller, Gram Parsons, the Boss, and other singer/songwriters. Since that night, Caryn, Vic, and I have had countless late-night serenades fueled by laughter, calloused fingers, and plenty of food.

Once we arrived at the festival, I saw the streets crowded with pedestrians waiting in line to get in. Italian flags from Italy’s 20 regions were draped between the buildings, hanging low enough in the street to jump up and touch. Food trucks lined the streets with typical Italian delicacies from each region. The festival is hosted every year by Saint Anthony Parish, and the city of Wilmington. There was even a Frank Sinatra impersonator who sang on the cobblestoned patio of the Saint Anthony church.

We finally chose a food truck and waited in line. After we ordered, we looked around the crowded patio for an open table. There was not a single open table. As I scanned the tables, I noticed one that had only three open chairs, but there were a few people sitting at the table already. I approached the people and asked, Are these seats taken? Would you mind if we sit down? They answered, Of course not! I Immediately detected an Italian accent in their response and asked, Siete italiani? And they answered, Come lo sapevi?! We began talking, a conversation which lasted hours.

As it turned out, they were Italians from Rome who were promoting a new museum exhibit which showcased stolen items that were considered part of Italy’s cultural heritage. The exhibit focused on recovered items by the A.R.T., Italy’s Art Recovery Team, part of the Guardia di Finanza. They were looking for someone who could translate the exhibit’s companion piece Operation Minerva, a book which was a fictional retelling of the A.R.T.’s recoveries. I quickly offered my services. I have my Master’s in Italian Studies and I also studied at the SSLMIT in Forlì. The book was written by Susanna Casubolo. And the rest is history.

It is no coincidence that Martina, the main character of Fall into the Void, believes in Carl Jung’s theory of synchronicity. In my own words, it is a series of events that reveal multiple connections or seeming coincidences as such events unfold. When you are aware of synchronicity, you can’t help but notice these connections everywhere you notice the unity of all things. As a result, neither life nor death nor distance nor opinion can separate and sever these connections. As you read this book, enjoy the journey Martina takes as she discovers a deep connection between her and the world around her.

                                                                   Dave Master

Prologue

He looks down, the void stares back and rumbles in his gut. He closes his eyes and feels a light breeze across his face. He is overcome by fear, his toes touching the ledge, vulnerable, motionless. Here, there is no escape. He opens his eyes again. The neighborhood is empty–everyone must be too glued to the game to notice him. He is terrified. Maybe by admitting it, the jump will be easier.

His head spins, as if the void has already taken over. Soon the emptiness will embrace his entire body, one molecule at a time, without sparing any part of him, until the final impact. Who will be the first to find his mangled body? What will be left of him? He doesn’t want to think about it.

He could use a push, a bit of momentum to propel him towards the end as fast as possible. There’d be no looking back. It will all be over soon. A cracking sensation will fill his chest. Maybe his heart will give out first, unable to bear the impact, or maybe his consciousness. His heart would be the last thing to defend him from the void.

Chapter 1

Martina looks around trying to decide what she most likes about the well-lit room. The white-washed walls of the living room, large and mostly empty, give way to an open kitchen. She stops in front of one of the bare walls with darkened outlines where paintings once hung, leaving a discoloration. Martina stares at the brighter shade of white, wondering what kind of pictures had been there. The realtor continues to speak in monotone about the residence’s value and location. In order to fight the boring monologue, Martina imagines the layout of the missing furniture that had once filled this large space. She makes a mental note of her own furniture, considering the new pieces she would eventually have to buy. She only hears the pushy tone of the agent, not the content of what he is saying, and for a moment she feels like a student getting caught not paying attention. As a knee-jerk response, Martina asks:

How long ago did the previous tenant leave?

3 months.

Is that irritation in the realtor’s voice? Did he already answer that question? She freezes, expecting him to say more, but the man walks toward the balcony. He shows off the perks of living on the attic floor by opening the curtain and the window, revealing the view. Up here, she won’t have to deal with indiscreet neighbors.

She sets foot onto the balcony and is greeted by the cool March air. Feeling the soothing warmth of the sun against her skin, she looks down and is struck by vertigo. She never would have thought that the fifth floor would have felt so high up. After looking around a bit more, she walks back inside. If she does decide to take this apartment, she’d have to block the railing with something. Her labrador, Scheggia, is used to living on the second floor, which isn’t nearly as high up. Even though he is used to a balcony, the height might scare him.

Can I have a few days to think about it?

Of course! You have all my contact information. Just keep in mind that there is a couple after you that would like to see the place, but you have priority over them.

How come realtors always have someone else interested in a property, just conveniently waiting to see it? And did he just wink at her? Or was it a nervous tick? Right then, his cell phone rings and he suddenly becomes animated as he gives directions to the apartment.

Is it alright if I go down to meet another client? You’re more than welcome to stay for a few more minutes if you’d like. Just make sure to close the door behind you when you leave.

Martina would like to hurry home to Scheggia, who’s waiting for her to go to the park. But she gives the realtor a head-start just so she wouldn’t have to endure that monotone voice anymore. She watches him walk away, smiling. After waiting a minute behind the door, Martina opens it to leave. As she sets foot in the hallway she jumps and is startled at the sight of an elderly woman’s face peering out between the small opening of the door to the adjacent apartment.

Hello! She tries to sound polite, fully aware that this could be her future neighbor. The woman slams the door in response, leaving Martina speechless on the landing.

Well, we’re off to a good start, she thinks as she closes the apartment door, preparing herself to walk down the five flights of stairs. She hopes that whoever else she runs into on the way down will be a little less rude.

Martina leaves the apartment building and enters the courtyard. The main entrance of the neighboring apartment buildings overlook the open space. They are all modern, covered in brick, probably around twenty years old. The courtyard is well-groomed, decorated with large vases filled with floral plants and even a few palm trees, recalling more tropical climates. The space is a pleasant oasis in the middle of the gray urban sprawl. She reaches the park that runs along the buildings, and smiles to herself, positive that Scheggia will love it here. There’s also an area fenced-off for dogs where they can run free without a leash. The dog park is only a short walk from the courtyard. She’d be able to go there even at night, before dinner, without taking the car. It’d be perfect for her morning run, and she could take Scheggia along with her to help her wake up.

Many people walk by, leash in hand, dogs at their sides. Martina begins to envision herself there. She decides to walk around and get to know the area a little better. From the park she heads down toward the storefronts that are lined along the columns of the surrounding buildings. She walks into a café and orders an orange juice. She seats herself at an outdoor table and takes in the view.

There is a shoemaker, a local supermarket, a stationary store, a music school, a beauty shop, and a florist. The area seems to have everything. Her eyes gravitate toward a strikingly beautiful woman, who exits the supermarket holding shopping bins. She repositions the bins in neat piles for future shoppers. The woman walks back into the mart, and Martina continues to watch her through the storefront window. The woman sits behind a cash register, smiling graciously at the next client as she scans the purchases.

Her orange juice empty, Martina heads back to her car. Scheggia is still waiting for his afternoon walk. As she passes the music school, the melody of a flute reaches her ears, gently floating on the tepid breeze. Still entertaining the idea of moving to the neighborhood, she takes an informational brochure about the lessons offered there. On a whim, she looks up at the apartment balconies, considering again how high they appear, when she notices the realtor leaning against the railing, alone. So it wasn’t true that there was a couple in line, waiting to see the apartment after her. Now seems to be the appropriate time to negotiate a price.

Scheggia happily walks in circles and puts his nose to everything, excited by the new scents to explore. Martina watches him with affection. She didn’t want to rip him away from his rituals and routines but she didn’t have a choice. Her friend and roommate was about to get married and needed the entire apartment to herself so Martina had to move out and find other living arrangements. Overwhelmed, she looks at all the boxes that the moving company put in the living room. Unpacking will be quite the feat. Not up to the task just yet, she grabs the leash and shows it to her dog, who reacts with a wag of the tail and a run to the door.

At this time of day, the park is mostly empty. The day has just begun, and most people will probably take out their dogs only after returning home from work. Martina sits at a bench and takes the leash off Scheggia, allowing him to run free. He searches for a stick, and after finding one, he runs back to her and rests his snout on her leg.

How can I say ‘no’ to you? She pets his head, takes the stick and throws it far enough away that he will have to search for it.

You’re right, it’s hard to say ‘no’ when they act like that. The voice of a man makes Martina jump. She quickly turns around and sees a tall, muscular frame with dark hair and bright eyes. He seems to be at least thirty. Martina’s inquisitive gaze is returned by a playful look. He holds up a leash and asks:

Are you new to the area or just passing through? He seems interested and sits down next to her. He continues to look around for something that isn’t there.

I just moved here for work, she admits while she tries to understand what he’s looking for, then adds, I’m a nurse in the nearby hospital.

Welcome to the area, he looks her in the eye and smiles. I’m a music teacher at the school there, indicating with his hand the school where she’d been just a few days ago, and in my down time I take out the owner’s dog, but between you and me, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him and I am beginning to worry.

As he speaks, Scheggia reappears from a walking path along with another dog, a boxer. He brings the stick back to Martina.

There you are, Rocky. Let’s put on your leash and head back to base. We have another lesson in a bit. Nice talking to you, and if you like music, you know where to find us!

Martina watches as he walks away, and she realizes that they never officially introduced themselves. He seems interesting, maybe she’d give the lesson brochure another look.

She decides to go to the market. She fastens Scehggia’s leash to a pole just outside the store and pats his head, assuring him that she’d be back soon. She also decides to buy him some food. If he sees her come out of the store with a little something for him, he’d learn to wait patiently the next time.

The market has everything. She looks around with a sharp eye. Inside there are two counters, one for meat and another for bread. She asks for a pair of rolls, trying to think of something to prepare for lunch. Her friend is coming over this afternoon to help unpack some of the larger boxes.

What about a few pre-prepared meatballs? The butcher catches her attention, inviting her to take a look. He’s a large, tall and robust man. His head is completely shaved, his eyes are spry and he shoots her ravenous look. She smiles and keeps walking, she’s been a vegetarian for about a year. The suggestion gives her a better idea–to buy chickpeas instead.

At the register, Martina is greeted by the same, charming woman she saw the other day. Stacking the bins. A seemingly married woman from up close, Martina notices a wedding band. She must be around forty. She wears a clingy dress that accentuates her shape and reveals her long, thin legs.

Is that all for today, honey? With a seductive and calculated motion, she runs her hand through her shiny hair.

I’m all set, thanks.

Are you new to the area or just visiting? she says, sizing her up, as she would a competitor.

She’s the second person to ask me that, Martina notes.

I just moved here for work.

Well then, you’re gonna be a regular! She smiles, recovering lost terrain. Take a little something, a welcome to the area. Come back soon! She offers Martina a small, wrapped chocolate. Martina takes it, thanking her.

As the woman turns her attention to the next client, she passes Martina the shopping bag. Martina notices the person in line behind her stare at the woman behind the register, undressing her with his eyes.

After untying Scheggia from the post, Martina heads to the florist to buy a plant for the new apartment. Once inside the shop, she is greeted by a middle-aged woman who shows her a few indoor plants. She decides on a peace lily and heads towards the register to pay. On the wall she notices a few pictures of a casket decorated with funeral wreaths, most likely prepared by the florist.

Are you new to the area or just visiting? the woman asks, as she prepares the plant.

That was the third time. If the locals here are so quick to notice newcomers, either they are very attentive to the neighborhood or there mustn’t be a lot of people who visit the area.

I moved here for work… Martina answers as she continues to look at the pictures on the wall, overtaken by the image of the somber procession.

That was Filippo’s funeral. I just can’t bring myself to take down those pictures yet. I’m still so sad about what happened, such a young man, and with so much promise.

I’m so sorry. Is he a relative?

No, he isn’t. Actually, I didn’t even know him personally, but he lived here in our neighborhood, in one of the surrounding buildings. He used to come here and buy flowers for someone he must have been in love with.

How strange, thought Martina, to keep pictures of someone’s funeral who isn’t even a family member. She leaves the store and decides to walk home. Not wanting to be asked the same question a fourth time, she waits for one of her neighbors to leave her building before she enters.

Martina tries to keep Scheggia calm, but ever since seeing the can of dog food she bought from the market, he can’t keep it together. Once on the landing in front of her door, she reaches in her bag to find the keys when the apartment door next to hers opens. She turns around and jumps at the sight of her neighbor, glaring at her through the crack of the open door, for just a fraction of a second. Then, as quickly as she opened the door, she slams the door, disappearing from sight.

Nice to see you too! Martina shoots back before finally entering her apartment.

Martina patiently waits for her friend to arrive, curious about what she’ll think of her new place. They met at university where they were both nursing majors. Despite their differences, they immediately clicked. Stefania is very sensitive and tough at the same time. She comes from a supportive family, and she can’t wait to start her own. Martina is independent, an orphan raised by her maternal grandmother, who has since passed away. She was faced with financial difficulty her whole life. She’s content with being single for right now. Everytime she falls in love, she thinks it’s the one, but it nevers works out. Ever since Martina and Stefnia met they’ve inseparable, so it followed that they rented an apartment together. The only reason they stopped being roommates was because Stefania met her fiancé and is now planning a wedding. Martina and Stefania’s relationship is more like a sisterhood than a friendship. Even though Martina to found an apartment much closer to the hospital where she works, she will still miss living with her best friend.

When her friend arrives, the new apartment is filled with Stefania’s perfume and wedding plans. The two of them make a striking contrast; Stefania is four inches taller with a muscular build, while Martina is petite and compact. Her friend is blond with hazel eyes while Martina could be mistaken for a gypsy–dark hair and amber eyes. When they go out, guys shamelessly turn their heads. But those days are over now since Stefania is preparing for her wedding. Martina just wants to enjoy some time alone with her since Martina’s last relationship ended badly.

They have lunch on the countertop bar; Martina still needs to buy a table. Afterwards her friend helps her set aside the boxes that need to be unpacked right away. They decide to store the others in the bedroom loft.

Martina stands on the ladder and positions herself so that she can take the boxes from her friend and put them in the loft. Once all the boxes are up there, she climbs up to arrange them neatly. Curled up under the ceiling to avoid hitting her head, Martina stores the boxes as best as she can, making sure to leave enough space for future storage. As she is about to head down the ladder, something catches her eye. The light coming from the small lamp isn’t enough to see what it is. As she gets closer to the object, she makes out that it is a leather-bound journal, the