The Girl of My Dreams

By A. C. Meyer

Can love heal two wounded souls? Clara had a dream life. Married to a wonderful man, she was blessed with the perfect family when she had her first child. What appeared to be her personal fairy tale, becomes a nightmare when her family is fatally destroyed. Devastated by the pain, she has to fight to gather the pieces of her heart and move on, being supported by Leo, a young lawyer who awakens feelings that she is not ready to deal with. When Clara disappears from her life, Leo's heart hardens, becoming a cold man and distant from any kind of feelings, promising himself that he would never fall in love again. Until she reappears, arousing feelings even more intense than the last time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: A. C. Meyer
• Release date: May 7, 2021
• ISBN: 9781071599334

Book preview

You'll be happy, but first life will teach you to be strong.

LADY GAGA

For those who are suffering from a broken heart. Take it one step at a time and life is will put you in charge of healing your pain. You're stronger than you think.

Contents

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EPILOGUE

PLAYLIST

SPECIAL THANKS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

1

First love leaves marks for life.

Nicholas Sparks

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It still amazes me to think about how astonishing the road of life can be and lead you down paths you never imagined. One beautiful day, you can wake up and everything that is taken for granted is lost, causing changes you never imagined having to face, causing disorders similar to those provided by natural disasters, such as being caught in a sandstorm in the middle of the desert, in a sudden wind on a boat ride or as when rainwater falls intensely and descends downhill, filling the streets and spreading chaos.

Like death.

I look back and remember a time when everything was very different. So simple... so innocent. Where there was no pain or fear. It was years of living a perfect life, almost a fairy tale. I should have known that perfection did not exist and that at a certain time, life would take its price for happiness. She always charges.

As I close my eyes, I let out a sigh and feel clearly the scent of the flowers that surrounded me in the past, being transported to a time when all I had was hope and expectation of a promising and happy future.

What I didn't know was that in life, everything changes. Even what brings us happiness. Living made me learn that to be happy you have to walk a long road and be ready to accept the changes that fate reserves for us.

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The first day of spring was my favorite of the whole year. It was amazing how the days, before cold and cloudy, turned into beautiful sunny mornings and the golden rays seemed to touch the skin, warm the body and envelope us with the delicious scent of flowers. Besides, it was not long before my birthday. Seventeen. I could hardly believe this day was coming. I still remembered when I was 12 and thought that by seventeen, I would already be an experienced woman. That's silly.

Still in front of the mirror, I watched my reflection carefully. My long, straight hair was loose, falling down my back. Soon, when the summer holidays arrived, the hairlocks would be very clear by the time they used to spend exposed to the sun. I was wearing a light green dress, a gift from my grandmother Ruth. She was beautiful, with short sleeves, a square neckline and so low that, according to her, I could already wear it. It was fair in the body, but not much, and it made me realize that I was no longer as much of a girl as before. When did my breasts grow so big?

As I put my hands around my waist, I turned from side to side, looking in the mirror. The sandals, the same shade as the dress, made my legs look incredibly long. I was overprotected and raised rigorously. My father, an old-fashioned man, wouldn't allow me to wear make-up or provocative clothes, which justified my surprise at seeing me, for the first time, as a grown girl looking at me in the mirror. Finally, according to Dad, at almost seventeen I was old enough to wear light makeup. This thought made me smile by holding the pink lipstick I bought especially for the occasion.

After carefully painting my lips, I pressed against each other to spread the lipstick. When I was ready, I looked at myself once again in the mirror, feeling like a new world was opening up to me. I felt beautiful, like I've never felt before.

Satisfied with my appearance, I finally left the room and headed towards the stairs, from where I could already hear the music play. My parents were offering the traditional early spring party, and much of the neighborhood would be present. We lived on the farm, in a large two-story house with a beautiful garden, which was the setting of the parties they loved to give. Carefully, I went down the stairs trying to control the slight tremor of my body. I was feeling very anxious, besides another feeling that swarmed inside me that I didn't know how to put into words... as if that were a real special day...one of those life-changing days.

I passed through the quiet room and followed the corridor that would lead me to the back door. I knew they were all there. Dad would probably be near the barbecue, talking to his friends as Mom would make her way from table to table greeting the women, smiling and playing with the children. I went through the big kitchen and found Pipa on the way. She was our cook for many years and someone very dear to our family.

My girl, you look beautiful! she exclaimed and smiled, holding my hand, and making me spin so she could look at me.

Thank you, Pipa, I answered, passing my hands across the skirt of the dress, stopping in front of her.

Your friends have arrived. Get out there! she said and pushed me lightly toward the garden door.

As I walked through the door, I looked around, noting some glances at me. I smiled when I felt noticed for the first time. I took a few steps and started greeting the guests, until I saw Paula on the other side of the garden. She waved and I smiled, making a sign with her head so she would know where I was going to find her. Paula was my best friend and was excited about the party. Her brother, a naval school student, had gotten a few days off and was going to bring a friend to spend that time at her home. She talked about the boy for the last three weeks and was sure she could win him over. I just laughed, listening to her reveries, and imagining that a 21-year-old boy would never be interested in young ladies like us.

I followed the garden, stopping for a moment to kiss Aunt Flora, my mother's sister who I hadn't seen in a long time. As I asked for permission and started walking, I felt a strange vibration in the air, a nuisance at the back of my head as if someone was watching me non-stop.

And he was.

I'll never forget the first time I saw him. He was very tall. Brown hair and short, military style. His skin was dark, and his eyes were the bluest I had ever seen. I didn't know who he was, I'd never seen him before, but when I crossed my gaze with his, something changed. Something inevitable and irreversible.

I was just in the middle of the garden of my parents' house, looking at the most beautiful man I've ever seen, feeling my legs tremble and my heart racing more and more. It was there, at that moment, on the first day of spring, when I was going from being a girl to becoming a woman, that I fell madly and at first sight in love with the beautiful blue-eyed man who was going to change my whole life.

2

I wasn't looking for anyone until you showed up, providing me with the best moments of my life.

Jennifer Lopez

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When my eyes crossed with his for the first time, I felt like I had lost my heart. It was like I was one of those young girls in the novels I loved—but I read in hiding, since my father thought that wasn't the right kind of reading for someone so young. That handsome boy just had to stare at me so I could be sure he was the man I'd been waiting for all my life, even though I didn't know.

My heart sped up more, my hands were sweating and my breath failed. I stood there in the middle of the garden, not knowing what to do while he was looking at me. Then he smiled and I felt his face warm. I've never had a boyfriend and I've never been the target of someone's flirting, so I didn't even know how to behave. I looked around, trying to figure out if that smile was really for me.

When I looked at him again, his smile was even more open, and his expression was playful. He made a gesture with his head, muttered hello,  and I felt myself blush even more. I smiled back, awkwardly, and before I had a chance to answer anything, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.

Oh, boy! At last, you came to the garden. I thought you'd never leave the house. Breno arrived, Paula complained, throwing her long brown hair over her shoulders, and smiled in the same direction I was looking for the last few minutes.

Um. I muttered as I wondered who Breno was.

I liked Paula. She was my friend – basically my only friend – but at certain times she made me feel like I was a fool. Yes, I was inexperienced. And since she had kissed a high school boy, she thought she was much smarter and livelier than I was, and often, especially when it came to boys, she treated me with a condescending look that I didn't like.

She shook her hand as if she were dismissing my apology.

Come on, let's go there, she said, impatiently and pulling me by the hand.

We crossed the garden, and she began to approach the boy with whom I had exchanged glances. He was talking to two other guys I didn't know besides Patrick, her brother.

Breno, I can't believe you're here, she said, and a little smile appeared on her lips as she placed her arms around the boy's neck. Seeing her embrace him, I felt a mixture of disappointment and sadness, for I discovered that she was interested in exactly the one who had aroused that confusion of feelings within me.

He looked at her and smiled without saying anything. Then his eyes strayed at me and shone in a different way.

Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend? he asked. His voice was hoarse and caused chills on my skin.

Without removing him, Paula looked in my direction and gave me an ugly face, as if giving me some kind of warning.

Um, this is Clara, she used the nickname she knew I'd loathed, because it made me feel like I was still a child.

Breno managed to get away from her gently and approached me. His eyes stuck to mine and I felt my legs tremble even more.

Little Clara? he asked, arching his eyebrow.

Er... Um... Clara I stuttered, feeling my cheeks turning warm. He smiled and held my hand.

Oh, beautiful name. Clara, he murmured as if he were experiencing my name on his lips. Then he kissed my hand. Do you want to dance with me? The question left me astonished and not knowing how to act. I didn't expect him to ask me to dance. I stood still, just looking at him and wondering what I should answer. I swear I won't bite, he said softly, getting a little closer to me. Unless you ask, he added laughing, and I felt my face become even warmer. Before I could find the words and form a phrase, still holding my hand, he led me towards the gazebo that had turned into a dance floor.

The band hired by my parents started playing Kiss Me, from the band, Sixpence None the Richer the moment we stepped on the gazebo. Breno smiled as he listened to the romantic music. Without letting go of my hand for a second, he pulled me close to him and wrapped my waist with his arm free. His body was warm and firm, and he smelled of mint.

When we started moving in the rhythm of soft music, I felt my body relax against his. He leaned his chin on the top of my head and continued to hug me, letting me feel his warmth and making me feel strangely protected in his arms, as if nothing and no one could do me any harm beside him.

Clara... he murmured, moving away just enough to look at me. I looked up to face him, and he smiled. Wow... You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You look like an angel, you know that? His tone of voice was so low that if I wasn't staring at him, I might not be able to understand his words.

Thank you, I murmured and looked away, feeling my face warm once more.

How old are you? he asked without losing his rhythm. Breno had a beautiful posture, perhaps because of military training.

Sixteen. I'm seventeen in a few weeks, I answered, and he smiled. One of his hands touched my face and his index finger stroked my cheek.

When you turn eighteen, we will get married, he said, and I rolled my eyes, stupefied. We barely knew each other, and he was already talking about marriage? What was going on? I'm not going to give another guy a chance to steal you from me, he talked and laughed. And after you graduate, we're going to have our first baby. I'm sure it will be a little boy.

You're crazy. The words escaped from my lips before I could hold them, and I laughed.

"No, I'm not crazy. I was crazy about you when I saw you walking through the garden. But I'm going to wait, Clara. You're worth it," he said and winked at me.

Sorry, Breno, I muttered awkwardly. I'm not like the girls you're used to dating...

I know. I know you're a special girl... His arm wrapped me more firmly, and he kissed me on top of my head. I'm sorry. I'm being too hasty. He sighed. I want to have a chance to get to know you better, Clara... Look, I spend more time in the barracks than at home. I'm not a party guy, quite the contrary. You're a new girl, maybe you haven't even dated yet. I just want a chance for us to get to know each other. What do you think of that?

He lifted my chin with one finger so I could face him.

Please, Clara. Let me get to know you better?  he asked in a murmur.

Paula's interested in you. It seemed that I had no lock on my tongue near him. I knew my friend would hate me for saying that. But I was feeling something very intense for him and I didn't want to hurt her by stealing from her the opportunity to be with the boy I was interested in.

I promise you; I'm going to talk to her and tell her I'm not interested. I can't explain it, Clara, but you really messed with me.

I looked away, not knowing what to say. He had messed with me, too. All you had to do was look at him once, and I got lost in a whirlwind of feelings.

I'm going on vacation until the end of the month. Can I ask your parents' permission to go out together and get to know each other better? he asked with anticipation. I looked at him curiously, not knowing what to think of that attitude. A boy like him, acting so chivalrously and going to ask my parents for permission was something I would never expect.

You may. I whispered and smiled, feeling within me that that was the right answer.

3

The true man is not the one who conquers several women, but the one who conquers the same several times.

Unknown Author

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Only twenty days had passed. And those unforgettable days had the power to change my life. During this period, Breno came to visit me daily. He brought flowers for my mother and talked to my father. We spent hours talking on the porch of the house, with his fingers intertwined with mine. Sometimes he took me to the movies and then to dinner. It's been the most wonderful twenty days of my life. I was madly in love with him and when we weren't together, I dreamed of being by his side.

That was my birthday and the last day we were going to be together before he went back to naval school. At the age of twenty-one, Breno was about to graduate with honors before taking up a position in some barracks in the country. At the same time as I was happy, my heart was squeezing, afraid of what would happen from then on. After graduation he could be transferred to a military base away from home, which could mean the end of a relationship that had barely begun.

I didn't want a party. I preferred to have dinner with my family, the presence of Breno's closest friends, of course. He stood by me the whole time while we talked to the guests. During dinner, he sat in front of me and didn't stop looking at me and smiling. Then, just before dessert, he got up, hit lightly with the fork in the wine glass to get the attention of all present, made a signal with his head and began to speak.

Well, today is a very special day, because it's Clara's birthday. I have to say, I've never met anyone like her: sweet, kind and caring. A really special girl. He looked me in the eye and continued. Tomorrow, I'm going back to naval school, but before I go, I'd like to make a wish. I've talked to her parents and they agreed, but I need her to give me the gift I crave so much, even though it's your birthday. Everyone laughed. My stomach was nervous with expectation. Clara, I fell in love with you the moment our eyes met. I didn't believe in love at first sight, but I know that's exactly what happened. Do you want to date me?

I took my hands to my mouth, really surprised. My eyes filled with tears, feeling the happiness explode inside me. Like him, I had fallen madly in love with that first look. I nodded, agreeing, and he turned around the table, knelt beside my chair and pulled something out of his pocket.

This locket is a gift, so you don't forget me while I'm away. He took the old silver necklace out of his pocket, opened the little clasp, and inside it had a picture of us. I travel tomorrow, but I will come back to you, he whispered as he put the necklace around my neck, kissed the top of my head, and then my lips.

It was a quick kiss, almost a skim of lips, that stole my breath. He walked away and we smiled.

Ladies and gentlemen, my girlfriend, he said laughing and waved toward me.

Everyone at the table applauded, but one person among them surprised me with his angry look. Paula knew Breno had been trying to get to know me better. She had even talked to me, saying that I should be careful, that he was an experienced man and I, a silly girl, but had shown no discontent. When we talked, I asked her if she'd been upset, and she quickly denied it. She said she was happy for me and that she had already lost interest in him. She looked at Breno angrily, but when she realized he was watching her, her expression changed, and she smiled.

Was I imagining things?  I wondered, stunned by the transformation in her expression.

The night went on without any stranger situations. After everyone was gone, Breno and I sat on the back porch. He put an arm around my shoulders and the warmth of his glass enveloped me.

Did you enjoy the night? he asked.

I loved it, I answered, taking my hand to the medallion. He sat in the chair, standing facing me, held my hands and said:

Clara, I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'm coming back for Christmas. Until then, we're going to exchange letters, and whenever I can, I'm going to call you. He stroked my cheek with one finger. Promise you won't forget me?

Oh, Breno. I looked at him. How will I forget you if my heart is already missing you?

He smiled, satisfied with my answer and finally kissed me.

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The days passed fast, but at the same time slow. I couldn't wait for Christmas to come and Breno would come home. It was amazing how in such a short time he had become so important to me. We exchanged letters every week, and he called me almost every day. I had just received the letter that week and was still sighing with it in my hands, hoping that it would fly like the tail of a comet and it would finally come back to me.

My love,

A week from now, after you receive this letter, we'll be back together. I can't believe it. I miss you so much it almost hurts.

I'm going to be on vacation at home for 30 days and I hope we get the opportunity to spend all this time together. When you get there, I'm going to take you on a picnic by the river. I want to get a chance to see your light hair shining again in the sunlight.

I love the last picture you sent me. You look beautiful and I can't wait to hug you and feel your perfume surround me.

I know we've only been together a short time, but you've earned a special place in my heart. One I didn't even know existed.

I love you, my beautiful flower.

Yours,

Breno.

"What are you hiding there, little Clara? Paula approached me from behind, scaring me.

Oh, nothing, I answered, Bruninhoding Breno's letter.

What piece of paper is that?  she asked and pulled the paper from my hand. Well, well, a little letter of love. You're so childish, little Clarita.

Paula, please return my letter, I asked angrily, and she laughed in an air of debauchery.

How much nonsense. I want to see in a few months, when he's fed up with this little sweetheart and wants to move on in the relationship, if you're going to fall for his soft talk.

Our relationship is not like that, Paula, I protested, crossing my arms and panting. My friend had been deliberately trying to annoy me by making nasty comments like that at various