Snowden White and the Seven Short Mexicans: Starring the Evil Queen Trumpalot
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About this ebook
A modern retelling of the Brother Grimm classic.
For grown up children.
"Siri, Siri, tell me once more. Who has the most Twitter followers of them all?"
The Evil Queen Trumpalot is on a quest for maximum popularity. She lives in a big white house, tweeting ruthlessly to the free world
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Snowden White and the Seven Short Mexicans - David Hornidge
Copyright © 2017 David Hornidge
All rights reserved
First published by David Hornidge 2017
Visit the author's website at
www.hornidge.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The use of any real company and/or product names is for literary effect only. All other trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.
ISBN 978-3-947392-02-5
For Jayne
Introducing...
The Evil Queen Trumpalot
Born into a rich, golden tower, she grew up playing with Daddy's money. Over the years, as some businesses failed and others succeeded, she found that three key ingredients served her best: bullying, lying and dumb luck. She built an impressive looking business empire, yet money was not enough. She wanted fame. Her reality TV show was a ratings success, she married a European ex-male-model and became the darling of the daily tabloids. Now a wealthy celebrity, she hungered for power. Through bullying, lying and getting a lucky upper hand from Russia, she seized the throne. She now lives in a big white house, tweeting ruthlessly to the free world, focusing evermore on increasing her wealth, beauty and popularity.
Snowden White
Serving time for treason, Snowden White stifled boredom in prison by undergoing a sex-change. Recently pardoned by the late King O'Bamarama, the Evil Queen Trumpalot employed her as a 'senior advisor' so that she could be kept under close watch. In reality, she was little more than a servant. She continues her hormone treatment and, to the dismay of Queen Trumpalot, becomes more and more beautiful each day.
The Seven Short Mexicans
Greeny, Commy, Libby,
Geeky, Hippy, Femmi & Veggie
What these amigos might lack in stature, they more than make up for with their big ideals. Greeny is the defender of mother earth. Commy - in a nostalgic kind of way - just wants everyone to be treated fairly. Libby is a passionate believer of free speech. Geeky - a scientist on a quest for the truth. Hippy is a trendy pacifist, while Femmi supports equal rights for women. And Veggie - despite the occasional ridicule, rolling of eyes and dinner table groans - insists on eating a purely vegan diet.
Once upon a couple of months ago...
The Evil Queen Trumpalot was feeling pretty perky this Friday morning. The winter snow was thawing and warm sun beams radiated down from above, as if heaven almighty had created them just for her. Her belly was warm inside too, busily processing a full English breakfast which Hubby had lovingly arranged for her. He'd read about it in one of those men's magazines and just had to try it out. He didn't cook it himself, as they had kitchen staff to cook their meals, but he did instruct the cooks on how to lay out the food. It formed a remarkable likeness. 'Twas almost like looking in the mirror. A pool of baked beans formed the face, upon which lay a crusty bacon mouth, a sausage nose, two little beady black pudding eyes, two baked tomato eyebrows, two hash brown ears, and last but not least an oversized portion of fluffy yellow scrambled egg hair. Queen Trumpalot thought it was really great. Best breakfast ever.
Queen Trumpalot leaned back on her throne and reflected on the joyful first weeks of her reign. Things couldn't have been going better. She'd won the throne despite ridiculing a disabled reporter, inciting racism, bragging about sexual assault, and even receiving 3 million less votes than her rival. To top it off, the Austrian guy