Staying Strong: An Immensely Human Story

By Stephen Murray, John F McDonald and Lee Martin

Staying Strong is an immensely human story of how a working-class boy from Tyneside in the north of England became a world champion BMX dirt rider in America – then went downhill through partying and drugs and alcohol, until he hit rock bottom. But, with determination and hard work, Stephen Murray had the tenacity to fight his way bac

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatecrasher Books
• Release date: Jul 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9780995751521

Book preview

1.png

Stephen Murray

with John F McDonald & Lee Martin

First published by Gatecrasher Books June 2017

London – England

Copyright © 2017 Stephen Murray, Lee Martin & John F McDonald

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered or stored, in any form, or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author(s).

This is an autobiography. Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

www.stysrg.com/stephen.html

ISBNs:

hardback 978-0-9957515-0-7

paperback 978-0-9957515-1-4

ebook 978-0-9957515-2-1

5% of all profits from the sale of paperback (print on demand) copies will be donated to Wings for Life UK, Registered Charity Number in England and Wales: 1138804

Soldier by TJ Lavin

Stephen Murray Rap by John Jennings

Photos: Paul Bliss, Russ Hennings, Jasper Jones, Mark Losey, Keith Mulligan, Kevin Novak, Fat Tony, Chris Woodage

Cover Design: https://factorymedia.com

Book Design: www.shakspeareeditorial.org

Soldier

A Tribute to Stephen Murray by T J Lavin

See the video on stysrg.com

I sit and think of all the good times

I sit and think about the right lines

Or rhymes to say

I sit and think I’m in the right mind

And think of all the reasons for living that I might find today.

I look to the sky, god please help me now

I showed you I wanna be here

Tried to take me twice I had some bad advice but now my vision of living is so clear

I went from zero to hero, to zero but now back to hero again,

I saw people hanging on and my brother staying strong,

Now I see the colors of my true friends, and the loose ends

Are tied up and washed, a clean slate. I’m a little bit bolder,

A changed man from the inside out for the better, should’ve died on the dirt that day,

Thank God I’m a soldier.

And I told you I’m never giving up, never going down,

Got to live it up, got to make it now,

Because the whole world’s on my side,

Everything inside

Gonna make this ride!

I remember sending donuts in a 745 big dirt dreams fully recognised

And now I fight the fight – I fight the one for life

And now I fight the tears back for the kids and wife

And I’m here for life kid, not just tomorrow

Need a shoulder to lean on

I’m here to borrow no sorrow or sadness cause we’re looking ahead

One step at a time – and one breath of a line

And one look and you’ll find success with each breath of your own

Just know for me one thing my friend

You’re never alone because you’re never alone

And we love you.

You’re on my mind and I know deep down inside – we’re gonna ride – again!

For my sons, Seth and Mason – You’re my life!

Contents

Soldier

Contents

FOREWORD – Matt Helders, founding member of Arctic Monkeys

1. BALTIMORE 2007

2. BACK TO BEGINNINGS

3. GOING DOWN SOUTH

4. THE ROAD TO CALIFORNIA

5. OVERCOMING INJURIES

6. THE X-GAMES 2001

Before the Crash

7. GRAVITY GAMES 2001/2002

8. PARTYING LIKE AN ANIMAL

9. THE MEXICANS

10. FALLING IN LOVE

11. HITTING BOTTOM

12. THE ROAD BACK

13. INTO DARKNESS

14. AGAINST THE ODDS

After the Crash

15. COMING HOME

16. MELISSA

17. STAY STRONG

Stay Strong Tattoos

18. LIFE GOES ON

19. ENGLAND AGAIN

20. THE FUTURE

FOREWORD – Matt Helders, founding member of Arctic Monkeys

I know Stephen and the Murray family through BMX. Me and my older brother Gary also grew up racing all over the world. Stephen grew up in a similar area to us, a working-class town in the north of England. The book begins with Stephen’s final jump at the Dew Action Sports Tour in Baltimore in 2007, then goes back and covers his early life growing up in Tyneside and how that influenced him and his brother Martin.

Stephen was very successful as a BMX racer, something of a hero to the younger riders, me included. We would all hang around with each other and, as you’ll find out reading this book, Stephen is a bit of a joker and loves a prank. We were once in Bournemouth at the beach and from what I remember, Stephen, Martin and my older brother convinced me, the youngest, to be buried in the sand up to my head. They then pretended to piss in a bucket and pour it all over me! Turned out to just be sea water but I didn’t know that at the time.

Stephen was British Champion nine times and European Championship runner-up twice. He also came fifth at the World Champs. He achieved all this by the time he was sixteen.

One of my favourite parts of BMX was watching the King of Dirt competition between races. Basically, if there were no dirt jumps built at the track, they would choose the biggest doubles or table top and compete against each other to see who could do the best tricks. This is where Stephen first got into jumping in a big way. He raced and jumped until he was nineteen then decided to pursue dirt jumping, and the best place to do that was California.

Having saved enough money doing ‘shit jobs’, as he puts it, Stephen made it out to California in 1999. It was perfect, he could ride every day, and it didn’t take long for him to get sponsored. It wasn’t all smooth sailing though, in his first year of competing, Stephen pretty much broke a bone a month, as well as a few serious concussions.

It got to the point where Stephen was competing alongside his idols, people like TJ Lavin and Ryan Nyquist, as well as Cory Nastazio, who became his roommate, and they built their own massive trails in the back yard. This meant Stephen could concentrate on his signature trick, the double backflip. That double backflip won him the X-Games in 2001, it was the first time it had been done in a competition. Later on in that same year, he won the Gravity Games.

By the time he was 22 he was a big name in America and was living a crazy lifestyle – drugs, booze, parties, women and everything else that can often come along with fame and fortune. It all became too much to handle and he soon noticed how this lifestyle was negatively affecting his riding. All of a sudden he wasn’t winning anymore. Stephen openly talks about the negatives very honestly in this book and doesn’t sugar coat anything.

Stephen got married and had two sons but his career was still suffering, he was losing competitions, which meant the money wasn’t coming in like it was before. This took a toll on the glamorous lifestyle that he was used to. He knew this wasn’t the end of his career and over the next six months he pulled himself together, got fit and healthy again and back to the top level of BMX dirt jumping. At the Dew Tour in Baltimore in 2007, he hit his head in the second round and was concussed. Stephen’s life would change forever when he attempted his famous double backflip in the third and final round.

At this point the book goes back to Stephen’s crash.

Live on NBC, Stephen suffered a terrifying accident in which he severely injured his spinal cord and vertebrae. He flatlined three times in four weeks. His doctors didn’t expect him to live, but he did. However, he was paralysed from the shoulders down.

The second part of the book describes Stephen’s fight back against his injuries. He was told by doctors that he would never breath unaided again, that he’d never be able to sit up again or even move any part of his body again. But he did all those things through hard work, dedication and help from a lot of great people. He worked closely with the doctor who treated Christopher Reeve and now he has the use of his lungs back and movement in his shoulders. He can also sit in his motorized wheelchair, which he operates with his head.

‘Stay Strong’ was a phrase used by fans sending their support to Stephen and this became his motto. Stay Strong has now become a leading brand in action sports. Many people from all walks of life reached out to help Stephen – my band, Arctic Monkeys, David Beckham, Sir Richard Branson and many more. He spoke in front of crowds as big as 15,000 at venues like the Birmingham NIA, something he never imagined doing.

Stephen split up with his wife in 2008 and he moved back to the UK with his two sons in 2016. At the moment, he is seen as a role model, not only in the world of action sports, but also for hundreds of thousands of paraplegics and quadriplegics throughout the world. And he’s not finished yet. Before writing this, I asked Stephen what’s next and what his ambition for the future is, he said, ‘I want to get out of this fucking chair and hug my kids.’

I believe he’ll do it.

1.

BALTIMORE 2007

Qualifying was good. I get fourth and I’m dialed.

Now I’m in the final – feeling amazing – completely at one with my bike.

Dirt’s the main event in this Dew Tour and it’s all going out on NBC television.

Three runs – two to count – only one point separating first from fourth place – it’s real close! And I haven’t dropped any of my big tricks yet.

The Dew Tour jumps at the Camden Yards Sports Complex in Baltimore aren’t the best I’ve seen – not as good as I’m used to – and, after the qualifying rounds, I’m out there with a shovel fixing the lip of the take-off. It should be glassy smooth, but the dirt won’t bind together. I guess I’m kinda spoilt with what I’ve built in my own yard, but when the time comes, it don’t matter what’s put in front of you or what’s going on around you. It’s the same for everybody and there’s no point in bitching about it.

The place is packed – cameras – lasers – noise – adrenaline. It’s huge, all lit up, ready for the night-time final. So many people – the crowd going nuts. I can feel the atmosphere – taste it.

First run and everything goes perfect. I perform a 360 turndown backflip – it’s one of my signature moves. Nobody else does this trick – it’s complicated, like three tricks in one – a 360 degree backflip, turning horizontally, and a turndown where you kinda get wrapped up in your bike. I nicknamed it the ‘alligator wrestler’. It takes a lot of commitment.

Other guys in the final are Ryan Nyquist, Corey Bohan, Ryan Guettler and some of the best BMX dirt jumpers in the world. I don’t know how their first runs go. I’m always like that, I don’t look at other riders in a competition. I’m competing with myself and I always know, if I ride my best, I’ll win. It’s like I got tunnel vision, I don’t need to focus on what anyone else is doing. There’s no room for distraction, one mistake and it’s game over.

I’m leading after the first run.

It’s a steep roll-in – 30ft high and almost vertical. I drop in for the second run – I got some solid tricks, like a no-footer to turndown backflip and a table 360 on the first two jumps, then it goes into a long low set where you get your juice for the last. This is where we let it all hang out – right there – no holding back. Flying 25ft in the air at 30mph. We call it the showtime booter.

Four jumps ahead of me – three jumps perfect. I go for the double backflip on the fourth jump. Everything’s moving so fast as I come round for the landing. I slide out on the loose dirt and fall and smack my head on the ground and get concussed. I try to shake it off. People are asking if I’m OK.

‘Is your head good?’

‘Sure.’

‘You OK to do this run?’

I nod – things are a little foggy. I’m seeing stars, white lights – not clear. It’s like being in the cage and you get hit and wobble – you’re not gonna quit. OK, I’ve smashed myself but I’m like a dog in a fight and I’m not giving up now after coming so close. Like I said, it’s two out of three runs to count, so this is my throwaway run. The double backflip’s gonna be perfect on the third, then I’ll establish myself back at the top after all the crap. Nothing’s gonna stop me doing this.

The double backflip – my big trump card. I made that jump mine. Landed it first in Philadelphia in 2001, when I won the X-Games. Back then, no one else had ever landed that trick in a dirt competition. You approach take-off at twice the speed to a regular jump, so you can get enough height and distance to make the double rotation. When you hit it, you gotta rip back off the lip and bend your knees and elbows into a tuck position for the two flips. As soon as you get sight of the landing, you open up from the tuck and bring it in.

I’m ready.

Third run.

I’m on top of the roll-in. The announcer shouts my name to the crowd and my music’s kicking in – Soldier by Eminem. Loud. I’m in the groove – in the mindset. I see the cheering fans, hear the noise. Then I cross my heart. Like, I don’t actually remember doing that, crossing my heart, but I see it on playback later – after I come out of the black. Why’d I do it? Never done it before. Maybe God’s hanging around, watching the contest – I don’t know.

Flashbacks of what happened on Wednesday streak across my memory like lightning bolts – split-second stuff. Vans Shoes were one of my sponsors and I had a big argument with Jerry Badders, their team manager, earlier in the month. Like, I was supposed to fly to England for Red Bull’s Empire of Dirt contest in Devon. It was a new, groundbreaking event – the best twenty riders in the world competing on a course built like no other, with massive jumps. It was put on by Kye Forte, a good friend of mine, and everyone I knew was driving down to Devon in southwest England to see me – my family and friends – fans from all over the country. I was calling people, saying I was feeling great again and was gonna be there for sure. I was trying to make my comeback and competing in England like that’d be a great build-up to the Dew Tour for me – I hadn’t rode over there for, like, five years. What better place to get dialed? I was real excited about it. I felt as good as I did back in 2002 and 2003 – never felt better.

When I got to LAX airport I went to the bag check-in.

‘Your ticket’s been voided, sir.’

‘What d’you mean?’

‘It’s been voided ... your ticket.’

‘I got all my stuff here ... who voided it?’

‘I couldn’t say.’

Because I’d been a bad boy and partying when I should’ve been riding, Jerry wanted me to sign a two-year contract with reduced pay, plus expenses and win bonuses, starting from the beginning of 2006. I tore that contract up and told him I’d only sign for one year because I was gonna win everything in 2006 and, after that, I wanted the same money as I was earning before – 2006 didn’t go to plan and, I guess, I didn’t produce what I’d promised.

Early in 2007, I’m going up to Woodward Camp to train, as part of my comeback, and I pick up a copy of Ride Magazine in a bike shop on the way. Cory Nastazio and Luke Parslow are with me in the car. There’s a two-page Vans advert, along with a photo. Cory and Luke are in the photo and I’m not! It looked like I’d been cut and nobody told me. I tried calling Jerry, over and over, but I wasn’t able to get in touch with him, despite leaving a bunch of messages. I finally got hold of him about a week after seeing the article in the magazine and when I did, I let fly!

‘What the fuck’s going on, Jerry? Why didn’t you tell me I got dropped? I got bills to pay and two kids to feed and I’m having to chase you around.’

‘You tore the contract up, Stephen. My budget’s done for 2007 and I don’t have a salary for you, only travel.’

I guess I was real mad and I probably said some things I shouldn’t have. But I couldn’t understand why I was dropped. OK, I’d been fucking about and there’d been too much partying and my head wasn’t in the right place for a few years. I let things slide – got into bad habits – hung out with the wrong people. But I’d rinsed my body of everything and got back in form. It wasn’t easy – I worked hard for it. Now I was feeling amazing on my bike – all the negative stuff was gone.

Like, I’d got myself straight and now this!

What made it worse was, Jerry was my friend – he was an amazing pro rider in his day and he earned the nickname ‘Bad Boy’ Badders. Now he was team manager for Vans, like I said, and it was his job to get the best BMX riders in the world together to represent Vans Shoes and look after those riders at events – which he did. I’d known him since I was fifteen and we were always good friends. He was a big, loud American, but he got on with us English guys very well. Whenever we travelled to the UK to ride, he’d come to my mum’s house and we’d hang out like family. I liked him a lot and he was fun to be around. That’s what made it so hard to swallow when I got dropped from the team. I guess I had it coming, but I didn’t see it like that at the time because my head was messed up. Anyway, after the argument on the phone, I sucked it up and apologised for the harsh words and he said he’d make sure Vans paid for me to go to England for the Empire of Dirt.

Now I’m at the airport and the stewardess is looking at me like I’m a lost dog or something. I’m tripping out. I get Jerry on the phone.

‘Jerry, I’m at the airport and they tell me my ticket’s voided. What’s going on?’

‘I cancelled your ticket, Stephen. You don’t get to talk to me the way you did!’

‘Fuck you Jerry! When I get to Baltimore I’m gonna knock your fucking head off!’

My wife Melissa and my young sons had dropped me off. Now I was stranded in LAX airport with two bike boxes and all my bags. I was really fucking pissed off! I had to call Melissa and have her come back for me and it stung.

After that, I couldn’t have had more fire up my ass for Baltimore. Now I really had a grievance with Jerry and I had two weeks to brew on it.

OK, the LAX incident was two weeks ago. Now it’s the Dew Tour contest and I want to show everyone who Stephen Murray really is – what I’m all about. I got rid of the negative stuff. I have something to prove and I’ve put in the hours more than ever, just riding and riding and nothing else! I know the way forward and I’m gonna do it properly. I want to show people I’m Stephen Murray and I’m back. The clouds are gonna open and the sun’s gonna shine for me again!

I qualified for the Dew Tour through the rankings of the previous year – getting enough comp results to make it. I guess I’m freelance now, after being dropped – like, I’m a maverick, I’m riding for myself and no one else. That’s not to say I haven’t got people behind me. Steve Mateus, athlete manager for the energy drink Rockstar, pays for my plane ticket, because I’m flat broke, and Chris Gentry of Pro Riders pays my hotel and other expenses. I have a new S&M black bike that Neal Wood and Chris Moeller got specially made for me, but I travel solo and that means I don’t have any pressure from sponsors.

Suits me just fine!

Chris Gentry picks me up at the airport on Wednesday 20 June and I’m trying to keep focused. But I know I’m gonna bump into Jerry Badders – it’s inevitable – and I’m still angry over the LAX incident. When I arrive at the Marriot Hotel in Baltimore it’s early evening and I walk into the main lobby with all my bags. The bar’s full of BMXers because it’s Mario Bonaventura’s birthday or something and everyone’s in high spirits. I see Jerry across the room. He sees me. I’ve just been on a six-hour flight from the west coast to the east coast and I’m fired up for the contest. I make my move toward Jerry, pushing people out of the way. I’m right in his face – like, seriously! I’m dialed, ready for anything.

I ask him outside.

We’re in the parking lot facing each other – going at it – yelling at each other. Loads of people gather round us – I can feel the adrenaline running through me. Jerry’s hands are in his pockets, like he don’t want to fight but he’s not gonna take shit either. We’re about the same height, but he’s a bit skinnier than me – still, he’s a tough guy and I got respect for him. The BMXers are rowdy all around us.

‘You fucked me up, Jerry. A lot of people got let down.’

‘It’s your own fault, don’t put this on me, Stephen!’

I remember what my dad told me when I was younger –

‘Son, if you’re ever in doubt, get the first one in.’

So I stick a shot to the side of his head, before he knows what’s happening. He goes down and I think I’ve knocked him out, but he gets up again.

‘That all you got, Stephen? Do that again and you’re off the team.’

‘I’m already off the team, cocksucker!’

The crowd’s baying like dogs, but I can’t hear them. I can see their mouths moving and lips curling and teeth stripping, but there’s no sound. Everything’s silent. Slo-mo. Jerry’s growling at me and I can see he’s ready for my next move. Then I send another shot straight on to the edge of his jaw. It hurts my hand. I shake my fingers, hoping they’re not broke. He sinks. Down. Down. Mario Bonaventura catches him before he hits the ground. Rodney Rambo grabs me. Jerry’s ear is bleeding. The noise comes back. Loud. Shouting. Deafening. All hell’s breaking loose – pushing and shoving.

The crowd converges and I’m caught up in the momentum. I get washed off my feet, like in a surf wave – a current of bodies. I see Jerry moving away to the hotel with some of the Vans riders and I know he’s OK. There’s a lot of people between us and that’s maybe just as well – he’s still my friend and two wrongs don’t make a right. We’ve cleared the air and that’s that. I don’t want to get sidetracked, I want to stay focused and win the contest.

I make my way back to my gear and everything’s surreal around me – voices – faces – a kind of white noise.

I go to my room to get away from the crazy fucking mayhem!

That was on Wednesday.

Now it’s Friday and the finals. I’m ten meters high at the top of the start ramp, ready to drop into my last run of the competition. I clear my mind and concentrate. Concentrate! This is it – everything I’ve worked for over the past six months – riding every day – being 100% at one with my bike and the jumps and the wind and the very fucking air around me. My bike’s an extension of my body. I own it. I’m in control. Being in that kinda control’s like no other feeling, and being in the moment’s like nothing else on the planet.

I’m in the moment!

The first jump’s amazing – x-up to turndown flip.

Second jump’s good – it was supposed to be a table 360, but turned into a straight 360.

Third jump’s perfect – I get mad pumped – I’m set up for the double backflip.

I get my speed up before the final jump. The showtime booter. It’s what separates the men from the boys. A few people go big and send it