How to Navigate Zombie Cave and Defeat Pirate Pete: Slug Pie Story #1

By Mick Bogerman

Armed with a pitchfork, miner's hat, and map, Mick Bogerman dares to hunt for pirate treasure in Zombie Cave. His little brother Finley is tied up at the beach. Literally--Mick tied him up. No one needs a little brother tagging along when you're going to slay the undead. But Mick soon wishes he'd taken some human company with him, be

• Language: English
• Publisher: Slug Pie Stories LLC
• Release date: Jul 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9780990380115

Mick Bogerman

Author, Mickey "Mick" Bogerman has lived in Beachwood, North Carolina all his life. Mostly he tries to stay out of trouble, but mostly trouble seems to find him anyway. He has a knack for antagonizing scary creatures and girls, not necessarily in that order. Mick's favorite subjects in school are science (slime, rockets, bugs, and rocks-- what's not to like?), gym class (running, climbing, throwing-- more stuff to like), and reading (yay Mr. Corcoran lets him read whatever he likes-- like comic books). Speaking of comic books, Mick's favorites are X-Men, Demon Knights, Spiderman and Batman.

Book preview

How to Navigate

Zombie Cave

and Defeat

Pirate Pete

Mick Bogerman

Slug Pie Stories, LLC / Frankfort

Copyright © 2014 by Mick Bogerman.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written per-mission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Slug Pie Stories, LLC

8126 West Evergreen Drive

Frankfort, IL 60423

www.slugpiestories.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Book design © 2013, BookDesignTemplates.com

Cover design © 2014, Kat Powell

Cover illustration © 2014, Kat Powell

Frankfort / Mick Bogerman — First Edition

ISBN 978-0-9903801-1-5

For Mom!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

MICK BOGERMAN’S WARNING NOTE TO PARENTS:      5

Find Zombie Cave..................................................... 5

Meet a Zombie......................................................... 11

Snag a Pirate Sword................................................. 14

Navigate the Cave.................................................... 21

Meet a Non-Zombie Resident.................................. 24

Avoid Getting Eaten................................................. 29

Make Friends With The Parrot................................. 34

Get the Gold............................................................ 39

DEFEAT PIRATE PETE.......................................... 44

Begin the Escape...................................................... 48

SWIM!..................................................................... 52

Grab a Rope............................................................. 56

Make Up a Story...................................................... 59

Mick and Finley’s List of Materials.......................... 63

Want More from  MICK BOGERMAN?.................. 64

Watch the Mermaid Grow Up.................................. 64

Warning

MICK BOGERMAN’S WARNING NOTE TO PARENTS:

Hey, parents! This story is rated PG for zombie ooey-gooey gore and fighting. The language is standard twelve-year-old name-calling, like dorkhead, boogerbreath, and slug-pie ugly, although I do make a special effort to stay clear of mom insults and potty jokes. As far as romance, you will find absolutely none in this story, because that would be stupid.

So, if you’re looking for a wimpy, child-type book, turn away now. But if your kid is not a wimp, likes a heart-pounding scare and a pitchfork to the undead brain, and is interested in pirate treasure, then this, dear parent, is the story for your kid.

STEP 1

Find Zombie Cave

I tie my little brother to a stake.

Hang on—it’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s way up on the beach. The tide never comes in that far, not even during hurricane season. The ropes are the nylon kind, so they aren’t hard and scratchy. Besides, he thinks we’re playing a game of cowboys and pirates. He’s expecting to be shanghaied most of the day. Mom gave us a big breakfast before we left this morning. He’ll be fine.

I have to do it. Finley—that’s my little brother—he’s a pain in the rumpus. Now before giving me a hard time about using the word rumpus, let’s just say that the last time I chose a different word, I got a mouthful of soap and no TV for a week, so rumpus is as hardcore as it gets around here. Most of the time. Deal with it.

Anyhow, I am constantly, and I mean constantly, getting Finley out of scrapes. I once told him, Don’t follow me into the deep end—it’s too deep for you. And before you could say stupid drowning brother, he was sputtering and flailing and I had to drag his rumpus back to the shallow end.

Then there was the time we put pennies on the railway tracks so they’d get squashed flat like in those crank machines, except for free. There was Finley with his shoes untied like a total dufus. I said, Finley, tie your shoes. You’re gonna trip. Next thing I knew, not only did he trip, but he got all tangled up in the tracks and there was a train coming.

Tasted my lunch twice that day.

Sweat’s busting out on my back just thinking about it. Obviously he came through, ’cause there he is, cinched up like a gym shoe. Not even struggling to get free. Sweet kid. I put the beach umbrella over him. No sunburn for him today.

The point is, I have the one and only map through Zombie Cave to Pirate Pete’s treasure, and there is no way Finley is coming with me.

So, brother incapacitated. Check.

Map. Check.

Miner’s hat and pitchfork. Check.

Swiss Army knife. Check. Candy bar. Check.

I’m good to go.

You can’t go wrong with a Swiss Army knife in your pocket. The thing’s got tiny scissors in it, for crying out loud. I cut pizza with them once. The hat and pitchfork I had to bury behind the beach dumpster last night so as not to tip off Finley. They’re all sandy, so I flick the light on the hat a few times. It works. I have a flashlight too, but I’ll leave it behind. I don’t want a clunky flashlight. Since I’ll need two hands for leverage, the miner’s hat lets me see in the dark. The