"I Am Providence"

By Daniel Scuderi

When two people have the same dream, it has to be more than just a coincidence. And what if the things you saw in that dream, were not original thoughts, but instructions, left to follow by the Ancient Ones that came so long before us? Inspired by the H.P Lovecraft's mind-bending Cthulhu Mythos, a group of lifelong and new teenaged friends gamble their lives by infiltrating a long-abandoned psychiatric center, with its own fair share of haunted history. When they unsuspectingly come across an overwhelmingly gruesome ritual scene, some of them soon realize that it strangely connects with them more than the others know, and now no one can be trusted. Their journey quickly takes an unexpected turn as they are now being followed by a toying and malevolent force, with its own ancient and unsuspected history. With depleting hope and sanity, their comprehension of fear is pushed beyond their breaking points. They'll have to find a way out before either the building comes crumbling down upon them, or the relentless unimaginable crawls its way into their minds and slowly takes over. If they do not find a way out, their-, along with the fate of humanity, will meet their end…

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098360900

Book preview

1

The Color

Before me stood my father, shirtless, with damp and slightly tattered pants, bound to him only by his aged and peeling leather belt around his thin waist. His mouth left agape panting slightly, his flimsy thin glasses hooked around his ears with hints of stained water droplets on the lenses, sheltering dreary yet, determined eyes. He hinted a relieving smile as his bare feet dragged along the wet sand. We stood in a deep sandy trench packed tall and firm, the enclosing walls on either side of us reaching nearly seven or eight feet, towering us.

My hands, along with the rest of my body were damp, slightly covered with sand, looking down. My soaking wet clothes clinging to me, my whole body was left shaking. Exhausted from what I couldn’t remember, I stood hunched over, my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

Collecting myself, my head slowly rose, my father’s eyes finding me. His frustrated expression urged me on, wanting to push forward. Felt I was just dead weight slowing him down. Looking past him the sandy trench stretched into the blurry distance. Mustering up what strength I had left, he continued on without me. Peering behind me stretched the infinite ocean, the sun in the distance at an unknown hour staring back.

Looking up at the clouds directly above me, a girl stood upside down on the clouds, facing the ocean. She stood motionless as the moisture from the wet sand surrounded me, slowly rained up towards her. Confused with every ounce of my being, the persistent waves reached the trench, the sudsy salt water spilling over, pooling at my feet.

Lifting my feet out of the sinking wet sand, I slowly caught up behind my father, fighting through the pain in my chest and the lack of air in my lungs.

Losing track of time, we were walking for what felt like hours on end. Looking up, the walls stretched tall above us, only seeing a grey sky beyond them, with heavy winds brushing loose sand down upon us. The sky didn’t have color yet, wasn’t deprived of color, but had a shade somewhere in between. Along with the sky and these high walls, we were all that was left, alone and forgotten. The first ones in hell… Or heaven…

Leaving footprints behind us, the uneven terrain exhausted and slowed our hesitant movements even more. Our growing desire to push forward and leave this harsh and infinite trench picked us up from the numerous trips and falls. Barely having the strength to help each other up, our momentum once picked up, kept coming back down to a crawl, fearing the next fall could cost us, never reaching the end.

Peering behind us, our progression mirrored in front of us. Frustration getting the better of me, I lost my footing once again. My father, exhausting his last few breaths, turned back attending to me. He was stronger than I was. Felt if either of us had a chance of making it out of this godforsaken trench it was him, and I didn’t want to weigh him down anymore.

Come on! Get up, boy. We’re nearly at the end, he said in his raspy smoker’s voice.

His boney arms wrapping underneath my arms, he dragged me a few feet before throwing my arm around his shoulder. Hoisting me to my feet, we rose together as a rush of energy and fear fueled my body.

The pain in my chest sharpening, I peered up, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth. Opening my eyes I was awestruck to see-, them. Lining the tops of the walls stood countless people, continuing down the edges of the high walls. Their naked malnourished bodies were all covered head to toe with a thick wet clay, their faces all covered, their emotions lost within the thick grey mess. They all peered down at us, feeling all their eyes on us coming from behind the clay yet, their presence was absent. They stretched the remaining length of the trench becoming a blur in the distance.

Hey! Can you help us?! Please help! I pleaded out, father mustering more strength to keep us up from flailing my arms out at them.

They all just stared at us, not one of them moving a muscle.

What are you yelling at boy?! What are you making sure none of us make it out of here?! There’s no one here! It’s just us down here! No one’s coming to help us!... Should of never brought you with me…

What are you talking about?! They’re right there! Thousands of ‘em! Help! Help! Down here! I continued shouting.

Desperately trying to get their attention, I scratched at the walls, wet sand clogging underneath my fingernails.

Their toes dangling just over the edge, they all ignored my cries. Only staring down at us, I kept jumping up reaching for their feet, sliding back down the sand walls again and again. Father’s hands gripping my shoulders from behind, yanked me down, throwing me to the ground in a frustrated and exhausted mess.

You blind and deaf boy?! There’s no one there! We have to keep going! Stop wasting our time and energy on ghosts that won’t help us! We have to keep moving! So get your shit together and walk! That lying whore says you’re my son but I refuse to believe something this weak and pathetic can come from my blood! I’m not dying because of you! You want to waste your life chasing ghosts, you might as well join them!...

Pure hatred came from his eyes and voice staring up at him, laying on the ground. He turned his back, continuing without me… He left me with the ghosts. Tears dripped down my face as it slowly began to drizzle. The dry sky flashing a bright white, far thunder echoed in the distance. His body blurring in the distance, I peered behind me, seeing the infinite ocean… It was like we never started. The sky above the distant waters drew darker seeing a storm begin to form. Violent clouds collecting, heavy rain poured down as the storm quickly approached.

Peering in front of me, he was gone… They all were… The trench stretched infinitely again in the distance. On the edges of the high walls, where they all were, stood trees lining the entire path, blurring in the distance. Sprouting roots weaved in and out of the sand walls, supporting tall and aged trees overtaking the sky. The storm quickly approaching, I ran back into the trench.

Running for what felt like minutes on end, strands of saliva rippled from my mouth from not stopping. Tears dripped down my eyes barely coating a dry mouth. The storm near miles from me now, the startling thunder made me skip a few breaths, bringing me to my knees from exhaustion.

My arms heavy, and my legs aching, the rest of my strength, little I had left, went to keeping a leveled head. I kept trying to get up, but my will didn’t match what it took to do so. My body completely drained, I collapsed…

I failed him… Just like he said I would… The storm inching closer and closer, what strength I had left went to keeping my head out of the small pools collecting around me. My body sinking, the water levels began to rise. Scared and alone, I’ve accepted defeat when a voice overcame the rain.

Young one, why do you cry? A concerned voice asked.

Because he was right… I said, my head lining the sand, half in the water.

Who has determined this?

My, father…

Where is he now?

... He left me… Alone with these ghosts.

My child, then it is not you who has given up.

Huh?

I rose my head, seeing a dark man, dressed in thick leaves, fashioned together like he made it himself. Wielding a walking stick as tall as the walls-, we were both in the middle of an intersection in the trenches. Four paths leading into the infinite unknown all around us-, my father wasn’t down any of them.

Retrieving a hollow horn from around his neck, he handed it down to me. Hesitantly taking it from him, he smiled a reassuring smile. Taking the ackhorne out of the top, I put the tip of the horn to my lips lifting it above my head. The water poured out faster than I could swallow, coughing in between sips. Regaining the strength to stand again, I struggled at first, but finally stood up.

It is not you who has failed him, my son.

I tried to keep up with him, it’s just-, we’ve been walking for hours and-, I’m not as strong as him. He just wants so much so fast, I couldn’t-. I tried but-, they didn’t help me and he’s never been there for me… No one has…

When you chase a bird and it flies away, do you blame the bird for using what he has at his disposal? Or, are you frustrated that you don’t have wings to follow?...

I don’t-.

Maybe you don’t understand the approach it takes to catch that bird, yet-, who would blame you if you never tried… Or, maybe you’re chasing something that is not meant to be caught in the first place… Do you blame the child for being a child when he has never been of maturity yet?... You can’t put an adult’s head on young shoulders… Or maybe the path you’re taking is not the only path…

Looking around us the trench continued only forward and behind us now. A singular tree stood on top of the high wall before us. It’s roots ran down the length of the sand wall, it’s veins peeking out every which way.

Perhaps the path presented to you is not the only path that needs to be taken to reach the end.

But what if the end is at the beginning again?

Who’s to say what the end even is… The end is only where you make it, if it’s at the start then you will be walking forever. Envision yourself reaching the end, wherever that might be. Knowing that where you started from is behind you, you will reach the end… Don’t look back, because that’s when the sky will become your ground, and the deceptive mirror will make you believe you’ve been continuing forward when we haven’t even begun. Never lose track of which ones the sky and which ones the ocean boy, only then will you always be able to walk on top of the water, and not become the reflection. Hints of doubt ripple the waters but you both need each other to stay afloat.

Closing my eyes I envisioned a world out of this trench. A sky full of color, bright and open, with no more secrets behind its clouds.

Now dig, he ordered.

Opening my eyes I dug my fingers into the sand wall. Peeling the roots from the tree, leaves began to peek through, those similar to the ones dressing the dark man. Digging further and further past the roots, the leaves became thicker when I reached through… My hand pushing through the dense vegetation, my hand met the other side. The air was heavy and humid. Pulling my arm back out, I prepared myself.

A storm is coming, his voice said coming from behind me.

Turning to thank him-, I was alone, the path continuing forever both ways. Looking back down the path I came from, the ocean covered the entire sky. Calm waves dancing like lingering clouds, as I saw someone in the distance. The girl sitting in the sand at the beginning of the trench. Before I could think to do anything, water began to slowly rain down from the ocean sky. It started as a trickle, then quickly formed to a torrential downpour. The sky bleeding, the entire ocean then came careening down to the earth. My heart sinking, there was nothing I could do, taking a last regretful look at the girl in the distance. She laid upon the sandy shores, awaiting the inevitable, with her hands over her stomach. The falling ocean near feet from me, I walked through the sand wall popping out the other side, like entering a portal.

Favoring a lesser evil, I closed my eyes, not knowing what to expect. Like walking into a sauna, I opened my eyes to find myself standing in the middle of a rainforest. Amongst thick vegetation and hot air, the cold evaporated quickly behind me. The air thick and hard to breath at first, there stood the side of a mountain behind me. I couldn’t believe my eyes, baffled that it appeared I seamlessly walked through a solid mountainside into a new world. Placing my hand on the dry rugged rock, it was-, solid… Real…

A wave of guilt rushed over me as I thought of her. A girl I could never put a face to. There was nothing I could of done but-, still I felt responsible for-, whatever happened to her. Witnessing the last moments of someone’s life, it made the lesser evil feel like the stick was burning on both ends.

Excepting the harsh truth, I exhaled a sigh of relief, the tension in my shoulders loosened as I hesitantly looked around. The heat rays piercing through the thick leaves felt amazing on my skin, stretching my arms out. Absorbing the heat, feeling my bones rejuvenating, to my absolute surprise someone tapped me on the shoulder.

Quickly opening my eyes, I spun around to see a small malnourished dark man standing inches from me. To my utter confusion, he was a different man from the man in the trenches. What took me off guard was, I didn’t hear any footsteps approaching me, nor remember seeing anyone else around when I got here…

Can you help me please? He said, through a dry mouth.

He pointed at the hollow horn hanging around my neck, across my chest. His lips chapped and cut, I quickly offered him the rest of the water. The heavy sun’s rays glistened off the sweat covering his dark body, barely held together with dwindling strength. He stood nearly naked, having only what looked like some make-shift garment covering his crotch. He reminded me of the dark man from the trench, feeling a familiar presence with a different face. Appearing around us, my damp and sandy clothes quickly became hot and heavy. Taking my shirt off, I wrapped it around my head like a bandana, wiping my eyes.

Holding the hollow horn above his head, the last few drops dripped out landing on his extended tongue. Our eyes met once again as he handed the empty horn back to me.

You are so very kind young one, please come with me. I don’t have much to offer but I must express my deepest gratitude for your generous act of kindness, he offered in a quenched and honest voice.

Without giving me a chance to answer, he led the way, waving me on. Surveying my surroundings, I felt completely out of my element, seeing that he was much more familiar with the jungle than I was, observing his body language, not taking a single hesitant step, one after the next.

This terrain, this-, air, felt alien to me. With each step more hesitant than the last, he didn’t wait up, growing more and more distant from him. Finding his footsteps in the terrain, I mimicked where he stepped, soon catching up with him. The vegetation growing denser and denser, his silhouette weaved in and out of the growing trees and bamboo.

Trying to balance keeping an eye on him and where I stepped next, another silhouette joined him upfront. A female different from the last, in a similar get-up of the dark man’s, walked near inches from him, nearly moving as one, the two blurring between the trees, not noticing at first.

Confused, her presence wasn’t even acknowledged by him, continuing like she was with us the whole time. Or-, was she? We’ve been walking for quite a while now and I don’t remember seeing her any other time, nor recalling either of us mentioning the other. Maybe we were getting close. To where, I don’t know, this unknown female bringing the hesitance back, purposely letting the distance grow between us.

Almost completely out of breath, my body was drenched in sweat, feeling every degree of heat hitting my body, wiping the burning sweat out of my eyes. My eyes closed from the straining pain, I was awestruck when the uneven terrain became flat out of nowhere…

Opening my eyes again, we stood in a circular clearing in the middle of the jungle. My mind spinning, a modern two-story grey and white house with large windows stood in the center of the clearing. The dark man and women walked up a short flight of steps to the front door, smiling, waving me on, entering the house, closing the door behind them.

My mind scattered, none of the pieces were adding up. Finding myself, my eyes fell to my feet. Underneath my foot were crushed corn stalks lining the entire clearing like a crop circle. Above me, the trees covered the sky so something couldn’t have just landed here. The house looked like it was built yesterday. This clearing had to be man-made, but-, why?

Peering around the perimeter, the jungle looked aged and fully grown in, constrictive vines climbing all the way up the tall trees. This house had to be placed here before all this? But the construction so well kept and modern, it looked like the whole damn thing was teleported from a high-class residential town. Where the hell was I?

Walking up the front steps, a bright red door sheltered god knows what on the other side. I had no idea what to expect. Would I enter a whole other world like last time? Walk off a cliff? Open up a vacuum to space? The possibilities were endless and unnerving to say the least. My hand shaking, the golden knob turned flawlessly in my hand as I prepared myself. The door squeaking open, my heart was pounding, expecting the unthinkable when-, inside sat only a single table in the middle of an open room.

A Spanish speaking family talking amongst themselves were preparing a huge feast on the table, all of them bringing in new and different foods from around the corner, assumed to be the kitchen. Generations from grandparents, mothers, and fathers to children, all gathering at the table. There were about ten of them, all sitting down in their seats. Exhaling, the mother noticed my hesitant presence standing in the doorway. Sitting up from her seat, she welcomed me with a smile.

Please, come in, come in, you’re just in time. We’re about to say grace, the lovely lady said, showing me to an open chair at the head of the table.

Everyone welcomed me with smiles ear to ear, like I was one of the family. Before us plated diverse and delicious looking dishes prepared not even moments ago. Steaming decorative meats accompanied with condensation covered glasses topped off with a fine wine. Eagerly awaiting the mouth watering feast, everyone first clenched each other’s hands, bowing their heads.

Everyone looking down, smiles painted across their stilled faces, growing impatient. Clenching my hands I peered around the table. Where was the dark man and woman?... Leaning back in my chair peering over the grandfather’s shoulder into the kitchen area, they weren’t in there either… The rest of the open-concept house was barren… No one else… No other furniture… Nothing…

The hairs on the back of my neck began to stand on end growing increasingly nervous. Everyone’s head still down, they all appeared lifeless, motionlessly waiting for their prayers to be answered, not moving till they were. Growing impatient, the stillness in the air arose suspicion, soon converting to fear.

Where is the dark man and woman?! I blurted out without thinking.

Shaking in my stance, the air didn’t move