The Invisible Rules: What’s Really Holding Women Back in Business—and How to Fix It

By Holly Catalfamo and Paul Harrietha

In corporate Canada you see this scenario play out all the time: Highly qualified and ambitious women enter the workforce all charged up and ready to change the world, only to be disappointed as they watch male colleagues pass them on the climb up the corporate ladder. Then the women drop out. It's no surprise, then, that women today occupy only 10% of the highest-paying jobs in corporate Canada. That's not a very impressive statistic after all the effort to increase the number of women in corporate leadership. What's the problem? The authorsof this book, a former CEO and an accomplished academic, argue that women are held back by a series of invisible rules that tilt the playing field in favour of white men. They back up their case with deep interviews with 50 senior female Canadian executives who talk about the real- life challenges in the C-Suite and on the way up.This book aims to expose these hidden rules and show ambitious women how they can get ahead — and how executives, particularly men, can level the playing field in the future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Barlow Publishing
• Release date: Mar 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781988025711

Book preview

reading.

ONE

Introduction

"Like most women of my generation, I came of age in

an environment where business culture collided with

women’s personal realities and socialization. Although we

women had no choice but to bring our whole selves to the

workplace every day, the only part of us accepted in the

corporate leadership world was a traditional male facade.

Attempting to compartmentalize our divergent lives

created such personal discord that many talented women

were forced to walk away. They could not be honest

or authentic leaders."

– Colleen Moorehead, chief client officer at

Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt; co-founder and former president

of E*TRADE Canada; and co-founder of the Judy Project

Like it or not, there are two sets of rules that govern employment practices in corporate Canada. One set for men and one set for women. One set that continues to preserve a long-standing male power structure by assuring that a disproportionate number of men achieve senior leadership status (and the big paycheques that go with those positions). And a second set of powerful, deeply rooted, and largely imperceptible rules that make the pursuit of senior leadership far more demanding – and uncertain – for aspiring woman. Men get to be men. In a form of corporate Darwinism, women must adapt or die from a career perspective.

While we might not be aware of these invisible rules, their devastating impact remains pretty obvious. We see highly qualified and ambitious women enter the workforce all charged up and ready to change the world, only to be disappointed as they watch male colleagues pass them on the climb up the corporate ladder. And we see these frustrated women abandon traditional workplace pipelines in droves to start small businesses, join early-stage companies, lead not-for-profits, or leave the workforce altogether. Little wonder that women hold only about ten per cent of the highest-paying jobs at Canada’s largest publicly traded companies (Rosenzweig, 2019).

Despite the honourable efforts of strong advocates, allies, and supporting organizations, the pursuit of gender equity in Canada has moved at a glacial pace. Sure, we’ve seen lots of positive change over the past fifty years. But we still have a very long way to go. By any reasonable measure, women remain dramatically under-represented at senior leadership levels in Canada. This inequity is tough on women. And as Canadian business icon Annette Verschuren, chair and CEO of NRStor Inc. and former president of both Home Depot Canada and Michael’s of Canada Inc., confirms, this lack of equity impedes corporate Canada’s ability to compete head-to-head with progressive economies worldwide:

Gender equity is a fundamental business issue. We need to understand that diversity of thought is no longer a luxury for organizations who want to compete internationally or globally. To ensure success, organizations must adjust to the needs and perspectives of the women and other diverse candidates who will ultimately drive their success.

It’s hard to lead the way when you systematically marginalize fifty per cent of your best talent.

We hope to change that. This book exposes the invisible rules and makes it easier for women to get ahead. More to the point, it will help senior leaders – and senior male leaders, in particular – better understand the negative impact that their attitudes and actions continue to have on so many talented and ambitious women. Unintentional, perhaps, but undeniable and increasingly indefensible. Let’s face it, gender equity isn’t a women’s problem or issue. If women alone could fix it, they would have done so a long time ago. This is a business problem – and opportunity – that men and women can and must tackle together. And we’re going to tell you how to do it.

The Motivation

So, why is a fifty-something, white, male ex-CEO interested in gender equity? And why now?

Paul’s passion for gender equity was sparked by the real-life work experiences of his wife, Mary Cover, a highly accomplished professional and senior executive. Today, Mary is the managing director, pension strategy & enterprise risk, at the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan (OTPP). It’s a big job and a testament to her skills and grit. But it wasn’t necessarily an easy or rapid climb, largely because of the invisible rules that impact so many aspiring female leaders.

About ten years ago, Mary found herself stalled – albeit temporarily – just below the executive ranks of her employer at the time (not OTPP), despite consistently superior performance reviews and promises of future advancement. Like so many of her female friends and colleagues, she watched as male peers (less qualified and younger, in many instances) were promoted to senior leadership roles. Fortunately, that all changed. By systematically adopting the key strategies outlined in this book, Mary was soon promoted to a senior executive position with national responsibilities. It’s a good-news story that, simply put, took more time, effort, and emotional energy than it should have – and undoubtedly would have had Mary been a man.

It will come as no real surprise that many ambitious women feel frustrated, patronized, and, truth be told, more than a little pissed off at what they see to be unfair (and certainly inequitable) treatment. They are particularly frustrated by what they see to be a blatant double standard that unduly rewards a traditionally male tendency to self-promote, even when that self-promotion is unwarranted. The overwhelming perception among these women is that people, regardless of gender, should be promoted to senior levels based solely on the quality of their work and contribution to business outcomes – and that participating in any form of workplace politics is both distasteful and inauthentic. Performance over politics. Merit over gamesmanship.

What we have come to understand through hours and hours of interviews, discussions, and research is that women aren’t opposed to competing head-to-head for senior leadership roles. Most welcome the challenge. They just want to compete for those positions on an equal footing. What Paul concedes he failed to grasp during his personal climb up the corporate ladder – and what we firmly believe most male executives still fail to understand – is that the current game remains largely rigged in favour of men. It was designed by men for men based on historically male attitudes, perceptions, and behaviours. The only real way to ensure gender equity at senior leadership levels is to rethink the current rule book with due consideration to evolving perspectives and realities. It’s about finding common ground, sharing the rule book, and recognizing that gender equity is a bona fide business issue. After all, a growing volume of research clearly suggests that there is a positive correlation between gender diversity and business outcomes. It’s not necessarily definitive in all cases, but hardly surprising given that male-dominated organizations are systematically denying themselves access to half of the planet’s brain power.

Our Leaders and the Female Perspective

The obvious question becomes: given all the press and the prospect of improved business results, why do women remain so poorly represented in the upper echelons of corporate Canada? And, furthermore, what can and should be done about it? To get answers, we went straight to the source. We interviewed fifty female executives from across Canada, including some of the highest-profile leaders in the country. You’ll find a list of all fifty executives beginning on page 231.

Our leaders shared their stories, their challenges, and their successes as ambitious women. They talked openly about those invisible rules that had held them back. And they offered compelling insights, based on deep real-world experience, into what corporate Canada is really like for aspiring female leaders. There is a strong consensus that women continue to face a number of gender-specific biases and barriers in the workplace that, quite simply, make it harder for them to compete straight up for the top jobs. To succeed, women must be prepared to outwork and outmaneuver their male counterparts, especially when pursuing senior leadership positions that are still dominated by white men.

The New Rules

Recognizing the persistent challenges, our fifty leaders shared the personal strategies they used to compete effectively on an uneven playing field. Sure, it involved leaning in; but it went well beyond that. The interviews revealed remarkably consistent patterns of behaviour that serve as both an inspiration and a ready-made road map for any young, ambitious woman looking for career advancement – and for organizations looking to create more equitable and effective workplaces. Our leaders attribute their success, in large part, to these four integrated strategies:

•strong credentials that give career-focused women added levels of credibility as subject-matter experts and a corresponding voice at the table

•adaptability and an ability to negotiate a relatively narrow path between stereotypical male and female behaviours in the workplace on a situational basis

•cultivation of a strong profile (reputation) within their department, organization, and, ideally, the broader industry

•considerable levels of family, spousal, organizational, and/or outsourced support, including sponsorship

These platforms – Credentials, Adaptability, Profile, and Support – combine to form what we call the CAPS Leadership Framework. The successive platforms of the CAPS Leadership Framework form a spiral staircase of sorts that allows qualified and committed women to ascend to senior leadership positions more rapidly and successfully by building increasing levels of awareness, credibility, celebrity, and authority on a strategic basis. We explore these platforms in individual chapters that follow.

A Need for Allies

That’s the female side of the gender-equity coin. Successful women continue to adapt to difficult circumstances and to exert as much influence as they can. As our leaders tell us, gender equity will remain something of a pipe dream until men fundamentally change their attitudes, perspectives, and deeply engrained behaviours. While our leaders were careful not to diminish the commitment and accomplishments of male leaders, they consistently acknowledged men’s quiet and potentially unconscious complicity in the ongoing equity imbalance. Dawn Jia, president and CEO at UBC Investment Management Trust (IMANT) in Vancouver, puts it this way:

We have come a long way, but we still have a bit of a canyon to cross. Women have done a lot over the past twenty years to highlight the issue of gender equity, but many men still need to change their attitudes and behaviours. Maybe it’s just a matter of creating awareness and overcoming what are largely unconscious biases. But we need to build the bridge from both sides and to meet somewhere in the middle if we are going see real change.

Speaking as a proxy for male executives, based on a lifetime of board meetings, partner meetings, strategy meetings, and informal beer-fuelled meetings, Paul confirms that there is no overriding male conspiracy to sustain the existing power structure. From first-hand experience, most male executives seem to embrace gender equity in principle. The difficulty is that the vast majority of staffing decisions they make are based on good intentions but flawed policies and practices.

Simply put, men need to do better. Corporations need to do better. And that begins with a dramatically enhanced awareness of the challenges that women face in the workplace, their preferred working and leadership styles, and the invisible rules that continue to hold them back. In the sage words of Ruth Brothers, certified leadership coach and former HR executive, When it comes to gender equity, women need coaching and men need education. Our hope is that the CAPS Leadership Framework will become a jumping-off point for men – and senior male executives, in particular – intent on building more innovative, balanced, and competitive organizations.

Holly and the Human Resources Perspective

We also tapped our leaders for their thoughts and insights on what organizations can and should be doing to level the playing fields for women. As you can well imagine, the proposed solutions ranged from the simple and pragmatic to the unconventional and controversial. Everything from enhanced awareness and improved training to the introduction of targets and formal quotas. This is where Holly really shone. As a highly experienced HR professional, practitioner, consultant, and educator, she has an amazing handle on both the research and the realities.

Like so many leaders of her generation, Holly has been impacted directly by gender equity issues. It started very early in a very promising career when she was denied a coveted promotion because her supervisor – a woman, in fact – thought that Holly should be home looking after her young children rather than focusing on her career. And it has continued in nuanced ways ever since to ignite a passion in her:

I’m here to share my experiences and learnings, and to interpret our leaders’ collective feedback from a distinctly female perspective. I’m the counter voice, when necessary. And like Paul, I’m keen to promote the important benefits of gender equity in the workplace – and help aspiring female leaders avoid the potentially soul-destroying impact of gender-based biases in the process. It’s my passion as an HR practitioner and academic. Like many of our leaders, I have witnessed significant pay disparities for men and women who are equally qualified. I have watched men ascend through the leadership ranks while arguably more qualified women are relegated to the sidelines. And, at the extreme, I have witnessed self-important males bully targeted female managers to keep them in their place. It’s just not right.

This is not to suggest that all men are bad, and all women are good – or that we haven’t seen positive progress over the years. There’s always room for optimism. But let’s face it, the change has been painfully slow.

If we are really committed to gender equity in the workplace, we need to do things better, and we need to do them with a renewed sense of urgency. Full stop.

That is precisely what we have tried to do with The Invisible Rules. As you will see, the book is presented in three main sections: the problem (Chapters Two and Three), the solution (Chapters Four through Eight), and the opportunities for rapid and meaningful change (Chapters Nine and Ten). Of course, we sum things up with what we hope is a compelling conclusion.

Chapter Two sets the stage. It explores the pervasive and longstanding invisible rules that continue to slow women’s ascent to the C-suite – or influence them to abandon the traditional employment pipeline for more entrepreneurial or unconventional roles. Building on the work of Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey and their groundbreaking book, What Works for Women at Work, Chapter Three expands on the invisible rules and takes a detailed look at four key gender-based biases – identified consistently by our leaders – that contribute to the inequitable treatment of aspiring women in the workplace.

The heart of the book introduces the CAPS Leadership Framework for senior female success. Chapter Four provides a brief overview of the model and the four key steps or platforms – Credentials, Adaptability, Profile, and Support – that our leaders consistently identified as the key drivers for achieving gender equity. Each of the subsequent four chapters explores, in detail, the individual platforms that make up the CAPS Framework, complete with lots of candid quotes and compelling anecdotes from our leaders. As we discovered, much to our delight, these four platforms align very closely with the big biases discussed in Chapter Three. In so doing, the platforms offer ambitious women some pragmatic strategies and solutions for overcoming the serious roadblocks they face.

Using the CAPS Leadership Framework as a jumping-off point, Chapters Nine and Ten outline how committed organizations can achieve gender equity quickly and effectively. Again, our fifty leaders were happy to share their candid thoughts, experiences, and perspectives, including their competing views on the introduction of formal quotas for board appointments.

While not specifically conceived as a self-help manual or a blueprint for guaranteed career success, this book is loaded with valuable insights from some of the country’s most-respected female leaders. The real hope is that it will help to build awareness, among both women and men, of the invisible rules that continue to foster gender inequity at the top of Canadian organizations; help qualified and committed women navigate the complex path to leadership more quickly and effectively; and aid committed organizations in their efforts to build more balanced, respectful, and inclusive workplaces.

In short, we’re looking to change the game. And there is no better time to do just that.

This book was finalized during the COVID-19 pandemic, an unprecedented period of uncertainty and disruption. It is safe to say that organizations looking to survive, let alone thrive, in the new world order will need to adapt and change the way they operate. They will need to innovate and create efficiencies. And they will need to rely increasingly on their brightest and their best, regardless of gender. It really is time to throw away the old playbook – invisible rules and all – and make gender equity the strategic priority that it needs to be.

TWO

Exposing the Invisible Rules

"Generally speaking, in my experience, women tend to

be more reflective than men, which is often perceived

to be a weakness in the workplace – a sign of indecision

or lack of confidence. It shouldn’t be. A growing focus

on reflection, informed risk-taking, and humility is

redefining the stereotypical leader. It’s just taking way

longer than it should."

– Christine Magee,

co-founder and executive chair, Sleep Country Canada

A true story from one of our leaders …

In the summer of 1984, my husband and I spent a lovely long weekend at a cottage on Lake Rosseau with my six older siblings and their various partners and offspring. It was the same cottage that our family had rented in the late 1960s. Very rustic by Muskoka standards and, fortunately, given our numbers, quite large.

One evening after a wonderful dinner (our brother-in-law David is a remarkable and enthusiastic cook) and a few beverages, one of my sisters began reading from an old, well-worn book that she had picked randomly off the shelf. It was called, to the best of my recollection, Fascinating Womanhood, a guide used in some Home Economics courses in Ontario during the 1950s. Basically, it was a domestic how-to manual full of well-intentioned advice to housewives looking to become superior housekeepers and spouses. For an hour or more, we took turns reading the instructions aloud, laughing occasionally, and providing what was, no doubt, witty (wine-infused) commentary.

Among the memorable passages, the book advised that good housewives should always have sufficient quantities of canned foods on hand – including, to our collective amusement, canned potatoes – in case her husband invites his boss home for dinner on short notice. (Apparently canned potatoes really are a thing.) In another memorable passage, the book advised women to wear a light cotton skirt, rather than a heavier wool skirt, when vacuuming the house to avoid unnecessary fatigue. A well-prepared wife would always have time to change back into a more fashionable and appropriate wool skirt while primping for her husband’s arrival from work.

Now before you dismiss the story, I can assure you that the passages came from an actual book that provided a compelling snapshot of a time and place that was familiar to my older sisters. Although all four of them are highly educated and independent professionals, they remembered