Von-Helsing

By Fayt Michaud

Follow Tre, Lee and their group on their first real adventure that ends up a battle against the brides of drakula. A supernatural spoof with a twist.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781678087029

Book preview

  Contents

Dedication

The truth verses myth

Chapter one: plans

Chapter two: travel

Chapter three: the tour

Chapter four: day one

Chapter five: party time

Chapter Six: day two

Chapter seven: day three

Chapter eight: break in

Chapter nine: The battle approaches

Chapter ten: battle

Chapter eleven: End?

Hello reader

    Dedication

    This book is dedicated to my boyfriend, his daughter and all the people who have spoken with me on the B.T.S. fan chat. You all know me as Fayt or darkfallsparanormal, the world knows me as Fayt Michaud. I hope this book will show you when on the internet you never actually know who you will meet. I also hope it shows you all to find a creative outlet that fits you and you can use it to express yourself.

      Each of you, no matter the issues you face, are worth this dedication. You have taught me as much as  you have learned  from me. Not all knowledge comes simply from school, books, and experience...some comes from things others have been through that you have not. Army, B.T.S. fans come from all ages, shapes, and forms. Be you and always know to me you are extended family and friends. Oh I also wanted to add this for the numerous people who have asked, yes I am really 44!

History final paper

Tre Von-Helsing

June 1, 1990

      The truth verses myth

    The cold night was made more miserable by the torrential rain bouncing off the brim of his black hat. He raises his eyes to stare at the moon for a brief moment, his piercing blue eyes seeming to be the only color against the grayness closing in around him. Before him a huge castle that has seen better days and many battles. He steps from the woods and his long coat causes a slight balance issue. For a moment he is sure he will fall to the ground but composes himself.

    He walks forward knowing he will not be able to face his enemy by passing through the front door and spots a huge stair case running up the length of the castle wall. A smirk crosses his face as he decides he will take the stairs.

    At the top of the castle sits the Count. Drakula knows Von-Helsing is coming and he has no worries. He sits on a lawn chair and closes his eyes listening to the rain beat off the beach umbrella. The huge wooden door leading to the castle interior swings open and a small man hops out joyfully.

    The little man is a hunchback and shaking his head with disappointment. Master this is no way to greet a guest. Please come change in to a more appropriate attire. The little mans voice sounds very soft and sweet. Drakula opens his eyes, they are black and lack all color. He hisses flashing his extended fangs in warning. It is not a guest. Von-Helsing wishes me dead. Why are you bothering me? The little man wore an expression of pain. Master, so few people come to the castle anymore. I was curious if I should serve tea and cookies when out guest...sorry enemy arrives? Drakula turns his gaze at the stairs and still does not see Van-Helsing. We don't serve the grim reaper tea and cookies. Now go get me a drink Henry. Drakula closes his eyes once more but he sighs deeply. What is taking him so long to get here. I had those guys I kidnapped...I mean employed to build the new stair case. Drakula noticed the look of sorrow on the small mans face, Fine you may offer tea but not cookies. Henry happily nodded and went back inside the castle.

    An hour had passed since his climb had begun and Von-Helsing was feeling the stress of the climb. His breathing was hard and he was nearly crawling. Finally he could see the end of the stair case. Standing at the top was Drakula who had become impatient waiting. Oh shit, Drakula stated rushing to aid Von-Helsing the rest of the way up the stairs.

    Von-Helsing was happy for the help and wrapped his arms around Drakulas shoulder. Thanks man, who the hell makes stairs this long? Suddenly realizing he was hanging on his enemy he shoved Drakula away. Fine do it yourself and show some respect I employed men to put the staircase in just for you. Some people you just cannot please! Drakula hissed taking the last five stairs. Von-Helsing was close behind.

    I suppose it is only humane to offer you a chair to catch your breath. Make note I said humane not human. Drakula stated kicking a chair toward Von-Helsing. Thanks, Von-Helsing huffed. He sat and leaned forward. As the huge door swung open a little man wearing a dress and curly blonde wig came bouncing out. What the...he began but Drakula finished, hell? The two exchanged a confused look. Henry was carrying a silver tray with two cups on it. Tea for the guest and Master. Please forgive the lack of cookies but it seems the Master is a greedy cookie hoarder.

    Don't ask, Drakula said to Von-Helsing who was being handed a cup of hot tea. Oh...umm...thanks mis...sir. Von-Helsing smiled giving the tiny man/woman a nod. He waited to drink it until he saw Drakula take a sip of his. Drakula took his and sat on the beach chair. Suddenly the rain stopped. After a moment of tea bonding based on conversation of past battles and sharing battle scars the two place down the cups. Shall we get too it then? I do not mean to be rude but I have a tanning appointment in a few hours. Before you ask the tanning is moon tanning! Drakula informed his enemy. Von-Helsing gave a nod not sure what was actually happening.

    Von-Helsing, my enemy you have come to rid the world of man from my horror. From my blood thirsty activities. Did you think I would make it easy on you? Drakula began. I have lived far too long to just let you come to my castle  and end my life. As he finished his statement he looked Von-Helsing in the eyes. Von-Helsing bent over holding his stomach. Drakula sighed feeling this meeting was going badly. Look if you are unwell we can wait, Drakula began. Von-Helsing held up a hand to stop him. Drakula...my enemy...it is time to destroy you. You are not man nor are you beast but an unnatural mix of the two. Prepare yourself for ba..bat..ttle. The pain in Von-Helsings stomach was  causing him to speak with slight issues. Drakula hissed and Von-Helsing pulled back his long coat to expose a cross, wooden stakes, clove of garlic, and small crossbow. Oh, garlic...already spicing yourself for me. You do realize vampires enjoy garlic as much as most humans do? He informed Von-Helsing. Von-Helsing's stomach made an awful gurgling noise.

    Drakula stepped back toward the edge of the castle wall. As he did Von-Helsing turned his back to the Count. He bent forward feeling a pain rise in his stomach and let out a loud long fart. Once it ended and the pain subsided he turned to face the vampire but saw only the castle wall edge.  Dude? Yo man where did you go? Slowly he walked to look over the edge. Drakula had been impaled on a fence post, Wh...what the hell did you eat, the vampire then turned to dust to be carried away by the breeze.

    If you take the story that became a near form of truth in the minds of those who heard the tales of fiction and compare it to the actual history you can see it was far less glorious a battle of good and evil. It was more a battle of bad food and natural instinct to be free of an offensive odor pointed in ones direction. My family has never hidden the truth of what took place and put our names in the lore of hero's yet the fart was the actual hero and not my ancestor. Yet people refuse to believe our account of the truth. It is hard to imagine such doubters are out there. Given this point we ask you stop sending thank you gifts in the form of stakes, holy water, and old black and white movie copies. Truth is often far more strange then fiction.

Chapter One: plans

    Tre was sitting at the computer in his room. A normal looking room except the ton of clothes hanging around. He was obviously spoiled in terms of clothing. His blue eyes focused on the screen when the knock at the door caused him to jump. He gave a half smile and got up to answer the door. It was Lee...his