It was a Beautiful Day When My Father Died

By Octavio Cesar Martinez

Octavio Cesar Martinez writes on the subject of forgiveness with engaging honesty, humility and depth. His deeply personal story is raw, inviting us into his suffering and struggle as he recounts his painful and abusive childhood, growing into a life of rage. But, he also leads us into his experience of freedom and joy, without denial or candy-coating. As Octavio learns to forgive, so do we. If you have been hurt or betrayed, this book is for you. 
If you have thought about revenge, or imagined punishing someone for their misdeeds, this book is for you. If you have been self-righteous or judgmental, you will benefit. In short, if you're human, it's for you. It's like emotional and spiritual CPR; breathe it in.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Feb 11, 2021
• ISBN: 9780996125147

Book preview

About the Author

Octavio is an experienced sales manager, corporate relationship developer, and sales trainer, with more than 30 years of experience in the telecommunications industry. He has successfully designed and implemented sales and management training programs throughout Southern California.

Since his departure from full-time sales, Octavio has used his experience and knowledge of leadership and personal development skills to conduct personal and corporate trainings throughout the United States and across the world. He has conducted seminars for businesses, colleges, churches, and non-governmental organizations. He has worked in Norway, Ecuador, Ireland, Germany, Scotland, India, Italy, and Tajikistan.

He has guest lectured at Fuller Seminary and BIOLA University; he has a degree in analytical philosophy with a minor in fine arts and theology.

For three years, Octavio served as a Police Chaplain with two law enforcement agencies in Southern California. He was the founder of Mosaic Whittier, a spiritual community with a focus on personal development and the arts.

Octavio, Lilia, and their adult children: David Octavio, Michael John, and Christina Catherine (along with daughters-in-law and grandchildren), all live in Southern California.

To invite Octavio to speak at your conference, business, university, or faith community, please use the emails listed.

Domestic: [e-mail]

International: [e-mail]

Copyright © 2020 Octavio Cesar Martinez

All Rights Reserved

OctavioCesarMartinez.com

Printed in the United States

Published by Three Uncles Publishing

P. O. Box 150419

San Rafael, CA 94915

www.threeunclespublishing.com

ISBN: 978-0-9961251-4-7

To Octavio and Carmen,

my parents,

whom I love and miss.

Every day.

Praise be to the God and Father

of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of compassion and the

God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our

troubles, so that we can comfort

those in any trouble

with the comfort we ourselves

receive from God.

For just as we share abundantly

in the sufferings of Christ,

so also our comfort abounds

through Christ.¹

— Saint Paul

contents

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

UNFORGETTABLE

Chapter One:

In America

Chapter Two:

July 2, 2004

Chapter Three:

I’m Sorry for Your Loss

Chapter Four:

Summer of 1979

Chapter Five:

He Prayed With Open Eyes: Octavio Gonzalez Martinez – I

Chapter Six:

He Was Seven When His Mother Tried to Hang Him: Octavio Gonzalez Martinez – II

Chapter Seven:

The Bible Changes No-One and Love Doesn’t Redeem

Chapter Eight:

The 80s and that F’n Bird

Chapter Nine:

Summer 2003

Chapter Ten:

Cancer

Mi Familia:

Photographs

Chapter Eleven:

One Stab Wound Times Seventy-Seven

Chapter Twelve:

July 7th, 2004

Chapter Thirteen:

Something Wonderful

Chapter Fourteen:

Winter 2004

Chapter Fifteen:

I Blame You

Chapter Sixteen:

I Finally Understood My Mom

Chapter Seventeen:

What Forgiveness Isn’t

Chapter Eighteen:

The Bronze Snake and the Lawn Sprinkler

Chapter Nineteen:

I Feasted and Forced Others to Starve

Chapter Twenty:

Honor Your Mother and Father – I

Chapter Twenty-One:

Honor Your Mother and Father – II

Chapter Twenty-Two:

How or Why Should I Forgive Others?

Chapter Twenty-Three:

Epilogue

Endnotes

Commendations

Acknowledgements

There are many people who have contributed to or spoken into my life. To the best of my ability, I’ve listed a few in alphabetical order: Michael Adnoff, Dr. Edward Chip Anderson, Dr. Eric Bryant, Dr. Thomas M. Crisp, Alex Gilbert, Janine Gold-smith-Ripley, Dr. David Gonzalez, Joby Harris, John Huffman, Jean-Marie Jobs, John Om, John Puls, Janice Sakuma, Steve Sakuma, Cory Shaw, Lisa Shaw, Dr. Gregg Ten Elshof, Tom Taylor, Barbara Wood, and most of all, Rick Yamamoto, my friend, mentor and travel companion.

Anything good in my life is the result of these men and women.

Mistakes are all mine.

Thanks to everyone who attended Sojourn and Mosaic Whittier.

It was my privilege and pleasure to have been your pastor.

Unforgettable

The first beating I recall rocked the hell out of me.

He crashed his fist into my jaw with such force that it knocked me off my feet. I would have collapsed, but he held me up by my shirt. Before I could process what happened, I was hit again. And again. And again. I tried to stop this humiliation by holding up my hands. That was a futile attempt to defend myself. He was stronger, and taller, and trained as a boxer. I was outmatched.

I saw his giant fist coming at my jaw. He had the thick meaty fingers of a man who had worked with his hands all his life. But the most vivid thing I recall is his gold pinky ring. It was custom made—a simple gold ring with his initials: OGM.

One blow landed on my rib cage. It took the air out of me. I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds, so I didn’t cry. My face felt hot. My ears were ringing. But when I was able to breathe again, then I did start to cry.

He stopped.

He let go of my shirt.

I was winded and I hurt all over.

My knees buckled and I fell down.

I noticed a button was torn off my shirt and another was undone.

I pulled myself up and stumbled to bed.

He straightened up and walked away.

He was 34.

I was 7.

He was my father.

I was his son.

And it was a beautiful day when my father died.

Chapter One

In America

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.²

— Saint Augustine

My parents arrived in America as illegal immigrants. If you believe America isn’t friendly to Hispanic immigrants now, imagine what it was like in the 1950s. Also imagine leaving your home, your family, your culture, and your country. Why did my parents come to America? Like all immigrants before and since: for a better life. In Durango, DGO., Mexico, my mother was a beautician and my father was a manual laborer.